tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-239371012024-03-14T10:02:52.569+00:00OlthwaiteBoozers, Bands and Buildings. Comedy, Films and Trains. Rugby, pies and moans.Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1163449355546545942016-01-05T10:00:00.000+00:002016-01-05T17:09:45.819+00:00THIS BLOG FEATURES:<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HYLDA BAKER</b></span> I speak without fear of contraception - you’re sat sitting there supping while we should be going to Blackpool hallucinations.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: large;"><b>BARNSTONEWORTH:</b></span> </span></span>Yorkshire Premier League 1922: Haggerty F, Haggerty R,Tompkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, MacIntyre, Treadmore,Davitt.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">BEST BREWERIES</span></b> Where were the northern beers in the list of Great British Beer Festival winners in 2006? Were the judges all from Chiddingfold-on-Sea and used to watery, headless brews? <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BOWLING GREEN, OTLEY</b></span> Stuffed snarling badgers, gas masks and a skeleton were among the 3,500 items inside. The landlord, Trevor, was a rather forbidding character. It looked like you had to pull a thorn from his paw to get on with him.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>NELL BRYDEN</b> </span></span>She called me sweety when I bought her CD off her. I don't think anyone's called me sweety before - mind you I was dressed as a Mars Bar at the time.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;"><b>TED CHIPPINGTON</b> </span>Walking down the road the other day, this bloke came up to me and said: 'Can you tell me how far is to the railway station?’ I said: (gruff voice): ‘One mile.’ He said: (gruff voice) ‘One mile?’ I said: (gruff voice) ‘One mile - roughly speaking.’<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CUD</b> </span>Was Carl's voice up for it? Would new guitarist Felix fill the considerable boots (Hey Boots!) of the assistant headteacher from Tadcaster? Would the band gel like the greasiest Ted? Yes, yes and yes! Carl bellowed like a moose, holding a note like Pavarotti. Felix is the indie Jimi Hendrix and the band were tighter than a gnat's chuff.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>DOCK PUDDING</b> </span>People flocked to Cragg Vale to taste Doris Hirst’s championship winning pudding<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>ROBERT ELMS</b></span> Ludicrous clotheshorse<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE FALL</b> </span>A member of the opening act assaulted Smith with a half-eaten banana and the band played on while MES chased the banana-assassin into the parking lot, where a scuffle ensued.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BRIAN GLOVER</b> </span>Wrestler Leon Arris, 'the man from Paris' v Les Kellet<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">GOOD BEER GUIDE HIGHLIGHTS</span> </b>Forget all the other pub guides - unless you want to take your granny for Sunday lunch in an unbearably twee Cotswold village where they rethatched the roofs in 1973.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">RAY GRAVELL</span><br />
There used to be/Detonations on the telly/It was Grav discussing rugby<br />
There used to be/From the radio great warmth surging/Grav conversing.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>VAL GUEST</b></span> He hated Arthur Askey, but he made his directing debut with him in Miss London Ltd, about an escort agency. It probably wasn't that kind of agency, although, you never know - "A handjob Arthur?" "Well stone me!"<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT</b> </span>I went to see the Bootleg Beatles as the bootleg Mark Chapman<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>JEFFREY LEWIS</b> </span>He says he's not even a glass half-empty person, he's glass half-full - half-full of nothing. There's also some delightful rhymes - on one song about a dead pig he sings: "He's called Jonathan or Jason/It depends which way he's facin'"<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>LORD OF THE RINGS</b></span> It's all completely humourless and is desperately in need of Brian Blessed SHOUTING LIKE HE DID IN FLASH GORDON. "HAWKMEN,DIIIIIIVE!" (When he was in his patrol car in Z Cars did he shout: "POLICEMAN, DRIIIIIVE!"?)<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>RIK MAYALL</b> </span>You could say Rik Mayall only shouted and pulled faces - but what shouting, what faces!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">MARBLE GINGER</span> It’s ‘gingier’ than Liverpool supersub David Fairclough in a carrot-top love-in with Tori Amos<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>STERLING MORRISON </b></span>Interviewer: Is New Wave rock 'n' roll or is it folk?<br />
Morrison: I'm afraid it's folk singing and this pains me.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CHIC MURRAY</b></span> It was raining cats and dogs. I stepped into a poodle.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>NORTHERN FILM LOCATIONS</b></span><br />
<b>Hell is a City </b>- Grim Up North Noir with Stanley Baker as a copper so hard-boiled he's been left in the pan for a week. Everyone smokes. Trains stop at GMEX. Levenshulme, East Didsbury, Huddersfield, Medlock, Burnage, Withington and Oldham are the other locations.<b> </b><br />
<b>A Kind of Loving</b> - Alan Bates throws up on Thora Hird's carpet. Thora, in Dame Edna glasses, calls him a pig. Steep park where he gets Thora's daughter pregnant is in north Manchester, also Preston, Stockport, Salford.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>PIES</b></span> There’s been a run on Hofmann’s “growlers” since he won the World Cup of pies<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">PROFESSIONAL NORTHERNERS</span></b> No.3: Yorkshire Cricket Club It's Trueman v Close v Boycott v Illingworth. Notorious big(heads) in epic bickering fest.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">REAL ALE TWATS</span> </b>'I'm remindful of The Lamb and Tuppence in Pontypridd, a splendid little pub which serves Bishop's Gleet'<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>SEX AND THE CITY: A PUB CRAWL IN KNARESBOROUGH</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>JOHN SHUTTLEWORTH</b></span> Go caravanning in Dyfed or Clwyd/Order a pizza and get it delivered/ How to be happy in a sad, sad world<br />
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">SOUTH PENNINE DAY RANGER EXCURSION</span> Emley Moor mast follows you round like Mona Lisa's eyes<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">JOHN SPARKES</span> </b> I gave you the best years of my life Denzil. Yes well I didn't really WANT them Gwyneth. <br />
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<span style="font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">EDDIE WARING</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span>A choirboy Kaiser Chief sang at his funeral<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">STEVEN 'SEETHING' WELLS</span></b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span>He had a unique talent, made his name in the 80s and was loved around the world - never mind Michael Jackson, Steven 'Seething' Wells, ranting journalist extraordinaire, has died of cancer at the age of 49. And the last words of his last column, published a day before Jacko died, were from a Jackson 5 song: "Me? I blame it on sunshine. I blame it on the moonlight. I blame it on the boogie." <br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">WIGAN INSULTS</span> </b><br />
To someone who’s ugly:Who knitted thi face an dropped a stitch?<br />
To someone with a terrible memory:It’s a good job thi balls are in a bag<br />
<br />Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1142284757731006462015-01-01T07:30:00.000+00:002019-09-12T15:43:57.696+01:00MUSIC<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://theafterword.co.uk/content/autobiography">Morrissey book review</a></span><br />
He submitted an episode of Coronation Street which ended with Ena Sharples saying: 'Do I really look like a fan of X Ray Spex?' <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/music/review-badly-drawn-boy--5859382">Triumph amid the tears: Badly Drawn Boy review, Manchester Evening News</a> </span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JM1z1sOxzVo/Ubbyn8M-l2I/AAAAAAAAAD8/fG_iDwiC3oM/s1600/graham+philpott.jpg.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JM1z1sOxzVo/Ubbyn8M-l2I/AAAAAAAAAD8/fG_iDwiC3oM/s320/graham+philpott.jpg.jpg" /></a><b> </b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>MEMORIAL CONCERT FOR A GREAT BLUES SINGER</b></span><br />
Pub blues singers are ten-a-penny but one singer was always a cut above the others in Huddersfield pubs - Graham Philpott, who died earlier this year. A tribute concert by his band Ckreed takes place at The King's Head on June 27, from 8.30pm, where a plaque will also be unveiled. He was a most unlikely looking Graham Philpott, with his long hair and painted nails. He should have been called Zak or something similar. He had great presence, a great voice and great delivery. RIP Graham.<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2C58D27DF286D366">Great 2009 Ckreed gig at the Kings Head, captured by Camera Colin 1 (YouTube)</a><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Beer v Records</span> </b><br />
Why are people seemingly happy to pay, say, £12 on a round of beers but not £12 on a record? Two Edinburgh independents, Song by Toad Records and Barney’s Beer, are collaborating on a unique project to explore this question. Today, Record Store Day, eight songs on 250 red vinyl records in beautiful sleeves and eight songs as download codes on 250 bottles of Barney’s Beer will be released. Who will sell out their batch of 250 first? For me downloads have always seemed impersonal and I'd rather pay more for a sleeve and notes but I suspect beer will win here. (And beer did win)<br />
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And talking of Record Store Day....<br />
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Castleford's <b>Revolutions Brewing Co</b>. is celebrating the event with a 6.9pc IPA called Sid 'n' Nancy. It is the first in a new series of beers for Revolutions celebrating (in)famous musical couples. 'The Lovers' series of beers will all be single-hopped 6.9% IPAs and will be released 3-4 times each year.<br />
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And talking of Record Store Day again....<br />
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In your face the internet (he wrote on a blog) - <b>a new record shop is opening!<a href="http://www.recordshopcity.co.uk/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Beatnik_profilepic.png"></a> </b> Beatnik will be opening in Greenwood St, Altrincham, on April 20 (Record Store Day). The shop will be selling good quality second hand vinyl and CDs across a broad range of genres, with a 'carefully curated' selection of new stuff, as well as books, art, coffee, cake and other eatables. Performing a live acoustic set on opening day will be MJ Hibbert and on May 3 a talk by former Word/NME/Mojo scribe Paul Du Noyer. Good luck Beatnik!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Wilko's last stand</b></span> <br />
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Wilko Johnson is playing one of his last ever British gigs at Holmfirth Picturedrome. One of the greatest rhythm guitarists has been diagnosed with cancer and has chosen not to have chemo.<br />
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He is playing four farewell gigs in the UK in March - one at the Picturdrome on March 8 (although he is also playing three warm-up gigs at the Greystones, in Sheffield, Feb 16-18). <br />
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I've only seen Wilko once - about 20 years ago in London - and was enthralled by his goggle-eyed strutting and effortless choppy guitar playing. One of the good guys. <br />
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In a lovely BBC interview, he sounds remarkably calm about the Big C and the Big D (UPDATE -gig sold out in a day)<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Weddoes a no-no...</b></span><br />
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...but the Wedding Present's annual At the Edge of the Peaks Festival won't be at the Picturedrome this year. Mr Gedge is extending his At the Edge of the Sea Festival, in Brighton, to two days this August.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>JOHN BRAMWELL - THE GREATEST EP</b></span><br />
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<b>Jul 12:You Me and the Alarm Clock, which has been recently re-released, is the greatest EP since The Beatles Twist and Shout - six songs of incredible beauty written and sung by John Bramwell.</b><br />
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When this collection was first put out in 1989, it looked like the start of great things for John, then known as Johnny Dangerously. A fresh faced lad with a healthy head of hair and a stripy T-shirt, he regularly wowed the Southern Hotel, in Chorlton-cum-Hardy, with his memorably-phrased songs of love and longing. <br />
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But as time went on, You Me and the Alarm Clock looked like a rare recording of a lost, great artist. He did appear on TV, but as a presenter on children's TV shows that sounded like toilet cleaners - Fresh and Express.<br />
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Thankfully, John did re-emerge: as lead singer of I am Kloot, their first album, Natural History, released 12 years after You Me and the Alarm Clock.<br />
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I've always thought Natural History was You, Me and the Alarm Clock curdled. <br />
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On the LP, John sounds bitter and disappointed; his young idealism gone - 'A dark star follows me tonight, filled with horror and delight' (Dark Star), 'God made me ugly' (Stop), 'Will someone, somewhere marry me' (To You). Perhaps the forced cheerfulness on children's TV had taken its toll or more likely he was disappointed in life and love.<br />
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But listening back to You, Me and the Alarm Clock for the first time in years, it's not quite simple as that - it's not all sweetness and light. The world is 'bruised black and blue' (Black and Blue) people are 'down in the ditch with no hope of a cure' (Tearing it Down) and he's 'stumbling through small life nowhere England' (Junk Culture).<br />
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At the time of recording the EP, he says he was 'living in a caravan on the edge of an industrial estate, delivering silicon-based mastics by day and drinking at night'.<br />
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On the sleevenotes, he adds: "I felt full of hope and aware of traps and these I see now were the themes of this record. They still are the themes of many of my more recent songs."<br />
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So why is this EP so special? (It's sometimes described as a mini-LP, but mini-LP always sounds cheapskate or reminds me of the tawdriness of mini-bars).<br />
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First of all the voice - instantly recognisable, both tender and strong, and also very northern. You can't hide the accent of the lad from Hyde on words like 'lumps'.<br />
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Second, the lyrics - lovely rhymes and memorable phrases. My favourite is on Tearing It Down: "She left me a reminder of a world she left behind her/ An overcoat, a coffee cup, an old horsehair bookbinder" Horsehair bookbinder? I don't think I've ever seen one but the lines sum up wistfulness and lost love and there’s also an ace triple rhyme.<br />
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Next, the delivery - it's difficult to make voice and guitar sound distinctive but by varying the sound of the guitar and emphasising certain phrases, John does it. He's never predictable.<br />
So, it’s the best EP since The Beatles. Scratch that, You, Me and the Alarm Clock is simply the greatest EP.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HURRAH FOR THE WORD, CURSES TO PRINT DOOM-MONGERS, MEN'S MAGS, THE SUNDAY PAPERS AND THE FREE MARKET</b></span><br />
<b>Jul 12: The greatest magazine, The Word, is departing and I have to admit the news saddened and shocked me in the same way as hearing about John Peel's death.</b><br />
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The Word covered music, films, books and TV but avoided the endless retreads of The Beatles/Woodstock/Dylan/West Coast hippie shite in Mojo (Jimi Hendrix lived in Ringo Starr's house in London, you say? Ooh you haven't mentioned that for a couple of issues Mojo).<br />
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The Word talked about appealing to the bloke who spent £50 on CDs and although the majority of its staff and readers were men, it never felt exclusively blokey (my favourite writer was Jude Rogers). If it was a men's mag, it was head and shoulders above the competition - for the younger gentleman, the finger-in-the-mouth models and the let's-revel-in-our-stupidity lads mags; for the seasoned gent, dry, dull articles for rich, vain, Tory salesmen - Hugo Boss articles for the ruling boss classes.<br />
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Best of all, The Word found new angles on familiar subjects (Paul du Noyer on Brian Epstein for example) or interviewed an eclectic mix of people from radio, TV, film or music that just weren't covered anywhere else (David Rodigan, in the July issue for example). It shamed the Sunday papers which are becoming increasingly bland and samey.<br />
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The Word looked like having the perfect formula for surviving in the digital age. Thanks to its writers and subjects, it wasn't just a magazine, it had a personality that attracted a devoted following in the same you'd follow a football or rugby club, although I sometimes thought the magazine was more adventurous and less conservative than the readers' blog which, for example, predictably upped any articles mentioning The Beatles. Indeed, although the blog could be funny and interesting and the writers I've met in person and on Twitter are the same, most of the most popular articles have a whimsical and/or sentimental style at odds with the magazine.<br />
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Circulation of The Word was down 5% year-on-year to 25,000 and editorial director David Hepworth blamed its closure on 'dramatic changes in the media and the music business' which made it 'more difficult for a small independent magazine to survive'.<br />
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In a later article, Hepworth said the way at which the speed that the news spread about the magazine's closure, via Twitter and Facebook, meant 'you can't publish magazines, or indeed anything, the way you once did'.<br />
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I wonder if he was as surprised as I was by one of the readers' blogs which showed that most people no longer bought a print version of a newspaper or only got it at weekends. <br />
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Hepworth obviously didn't want to string things out - no appeal to readers asking if they would they pay more for it (many would have, I suspect) or a Radio 6-style 'Save the Word' campaign. Indeed, he sounded rather weary about the whole thing.<br />
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On the reaction to the closure: "The words of tribute were kindly meant but sometimes over the top." (Spoken like a plain-speaking Yorkshireman! I think he was born in Dewsbury)<br />
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And: "I don't yearn for the old days. I think the new wide open media world is more interesting and fun than the old one." <br />
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And yet... recently, when I was in Record Collector, Sheffield, (a record shop, yes I know, another victim of the changing music industry) there were SIX free entertainment newspapers and magazines - three 'nationals' (Loud and Quiet, The Fly and Stool Pigeon) and three for Sheff and South Yorks (Toast, Exposed and the wonderfully-named Now Then). All well-established and packed with ads. And, according to The Guardian, there is a boom in such independent magazines.<br />
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But they don't just have to free. Rugby league magazines League Weekly and Forty 20 are celebrating their 10th and first anniversaries respectively. Forty 20 is particularly classy, its writers and choice of subjects give it a distinctive personality, like The Word.<br />
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I think management in newspapers and magazines are giving up on print too easily. They've dismissed new media outfits like eBay in the past and now, because they've had their fingers burnt, they believe everything new media is right.<br />
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But there is clearly a need and love for print, however smart a phone gets. Finding what you want to read in a paper or magazine is always easier than finding it on a website and it's just more convenient. Websites are great for sports scores and pithy comments but you need print to wallow in a subject.<br />
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And there is still money in print - according to Patrick Smith, editor of The MediaBriefing.com, one Johnson weekly paper, for example, is making £51,000 a month profit.<br />
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Sadly, the free market yet again restricts choice. Newspapers and magazines are desperately chasing an under 30s audience and their advertising market so it's the same narrow range of subjects and tone when they should be looking for something different.<br />
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Rugby league coverage, for example, is becoming more marginalised, despite bigger attendances, and so is the sport itself.<br />
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The Word and Bradford Bulls rugby league team to go within a few days of each other? What a depressing prospect in our increasingly bland world.<br />
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The new Word blog, admirably made by Dr Volume, Brookster and other readers, is called <a href="http://theafterword.co.uk/">The Afterword</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">MONOCHROME SET: Band on the Wall, Manchester</span><br />
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<b>Apr 12: Unique, underrated, ahead of their time. Yes you've heard it before, but in the case of The Monochrome Set it's all true. </b></div>
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A deadpan posh singer with a memorable turn of phrase is backed by insanely catchy riffs that could come from a Herb Alpert LP or a collection of surfing instrumentals.</div>
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Too quirky for the 80s, they have more in common with bands like Divine Comedy, St Etienne and Belle and Sebastian.</div>
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The band reformed last year, with three long-standing members - Bid, Lester Square and Andy Warren - have a new LP, Platinum Coils, and it appears little has changed.</div>
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New songs like Waiting for Alberto (Great line: 'Bananas make me ill') and Cauchemar sit well with classics such as Jet Set Junta, The Ruling Class and Monochrome Set.</div>
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Bid looked like a blissed out Ian McShane although the lyrics on the new LP mention nurses and medical terms.Has he been ill? </div>
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Guitarist Lester Square, with his moustache/mutton chop combo, appeared ready to bat with WG Grace.</div>
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The band were a little louder than they needed to be for the venue but it was great to see such an original band on good form.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ARE YOU DANCING? I'M ASKING!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 12: I've been lucky to attend three weddings over the past 12 months - lucky because once I hit 40 I doubted I'd ever go a wedding again.</span><br />
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They've all been a real treat. I've enjoyed the ceremonies far more than I did in my surly twenties and the nosh seems to have got even better over the last 20 years.<br />
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But what I particularly enjoyed was the dancing.<br />
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It brought back a lot of memories of shaking a tailfeather in clubs and uni - the wait for the right tune to hit the floor so you don't peak too early (Lovecats is ok, but Teenage Kicks might be on soon), the adaptation of the indie shuffle to any tune (move feet and arms a bit, look at floor), the attempt at Hairspray-esque dances to anything from the fifties or sixties, and dancing for the first time to promising newcomers such as the fancy dress chanteuse Lady Gaga.<br />
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It made me think - where can the over-40s have a bit of a bop these days?<br />
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There are house parties, of course, but there's a danger of trampling over small children or knocking over treasured ornaments with an over-enthusiastic, Morrissey-esque flourish of the arms.<br />
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I've been thinking of going to a Belle and Sebastian night, but fear, even here, an old duffer like me will have alice bands and cardigan buttons flung at me by the fey hordes.<br />
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<br />
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<a href="http://www.scopitones.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/darren3-225x300.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.scopitones.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/darren3-225x300.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 225px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><br />
FESTIVAL OF GEDGE</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 11: Break out your cardigan, thrash your guitar and look downtrodden after catching your partner having an affair - it's a David Gedge festival in Holmfirth.</span><br />
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Starting with his band Cinerama and ending with his main band the Wedding Present, the festival also features Darren Hayman and the Secondary Modern and other bands in Holmfirth. (Gedge and Hayman pictured, from Weddoes website)<br />
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After the success of 'At The Edge Of The Sea' festival in Brighton last year, the Wedding Present main man has organised ‘At The Edge Of The Peaks’ at The Picturedrome, on August 29, from 3pm.<br />
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Other bands confirmed for David’s indoor one-day mini-festival are:<br />
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Summer Camp [Electronica]<br />
Pinky Piglets [A 'crazy all girl rock band' from Japan]<br />
Silvermash [shoegazy, featuring Graeme Ramsay from The Wedding Present]<br />
Dirty Fingernails [90s alt-rock, featuring Charles Layton from The Wedding Present]<br />
Stars Down To Earth [featuring Pepe le Moko from The Wedding Present]<br />
Precious Few [A minimalist duo from Germany]<br />
French Soul Party<br />
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<a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSV82-ClcvsX1FkFQ3NS8YaYkhcCS5IEZcyl8EwU0h7ezp-BacDJw"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSV82-ClcvsX1FkFQ3NS8YaYkhcCS5IEZcyl8EwU0h7ezp-BacDJw" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 179px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 256px;"></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">A CELEBRATION OF THE FILMS AND MUSIC OF NICO</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">May 11: How do you link Compo and Nico? Well, according to the Holmfirth Film Festival, Last of the Summer Wine actor Bill Owen attended a memorial service for the Velvet Underground singer in St Johns Church, Upperthong, near Holmfirth.</span><br />
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It sounds like a Wikipedia spoof, but, the organiser of this festival event celebrating the films and music of Nico said the service did take place at St Johns as Nico loved walking in the hills around Upperthong and Holmfirth. He couldn’t confirm if Bill Owen was there, unfortunately, but it didn’t really matter - this unlikely tribute, in the same church where Nico’s service was held, was well-conceived and memorable.<br />
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Local musicians sat at the front of the church, flanked by two screens, one showing Fellini’s La Dolce Vita in which Nico appeared, the second showing stills and films from her modelling and singing career featuring her beautiful stern face (she would have been the very last person to whom you would have said: 'Cheer up love').<br />
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A stained glass window was behind the musicians and films were projected onto it. The church was decorated with silver balloons in a nod to Warhol’s Factory.<br />
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The setting emphasised the bleakness and beauty of Nico’s music. As Michael Massey sang Janitor of Lunacy, darkness was falling outside and the shadows from the bobbing balloons took on a sinister turn. The lyrics of the song were like some sermon without hope.<br />
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By contrast, Catrin Morris, ably accompanied by guitarist Steven, captured the delicacy of songs such as I’ll be your Mirror and These Days in the performance of the night - her beautiful voice raising the spirits.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.scopitones.co.uk/wallpaper/sea.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.scopitones.co.uk/wallpaper/sea.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 225px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;"></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">WEDDING PRESENT FESTIVAL COMES TO <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">HOLMFIRTH</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 11: The Wedding Present have been running Bank Holiday festivals in Brighton for the past couple of years - now they are starting one in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Holmfirth</span>.</span><br />
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‘At The Edge Of The Peaks’ will take place at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Picturedrome</span> on August 29, from 3 to 10pm. Cinerama and The Wedding Present are playing.<br />
<br />
The Brighton event sold out last year and was a huge success.<br />
<br />
Three other bands have already confirmed - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Silvermash</span> (“Shoe-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">gazey</span> indie-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">grungers</span>” from Eastern Scotland featuring The Wedding Present’s Graeme Ramsay) and Dirty Fingernails (a "90s alt-rock inspired" North London quartet featuring The Wedding <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Present's</span> Charles Layton). Precious Few from Germany will be playing in the acoustic room on both nights.<br />
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A limited number of ‘early-bird’ tickets have been made available for both events at the reduced price of £15. See <a href="http://www.scopitones.co.uk/news/"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Weddoes</span> website</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">SMASHING SONGS FROM DUSTY7'S</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 11: There are some real blog gems out there (see list on the right) and one of my favourites is Dusty7's which is celebrating its fourth birthday.</span><br />
<br />
The blog has unearthed some wonderful Northern Soul, R&B, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">doo</span></span>-wop, ska and easy listening classics, many of which, I'm ashamed to say, I haven't heard.<br />
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There are some wonderful photos too - some chronicling forgotten corners of London - while the almost punctuation-free writing gives the blog a unique voice, reminding me of a Kenneth Williams character on Round The Horne desperate to recount a story.<br />
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Shame beer and pub blogs can't show a bit more originality in presentation and content. I'm getting increasingly bored of the same old <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">blokey</span></span> blogs swapping the same arcane bits of information.<br />
<br />
Anyway, here are some of my favourite <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">toons</span></span> from Dusty 7.<br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/vq67mm4jbb%20"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Marvelettes</span></span> - Here I Am Baby</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.box.net/shared/iy9e2jvkee">Doris - Did You Give The World Some Love Today?</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.box.net/shared/z07o9ngaly">The Dells - Wear It On Our Face</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/srmb2k490o">The Esquires - Get On Up</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/l8cyh3ke4e">The Voices of East Harlem - For What It's Worth</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/29zt9ka6zq%20">Pat Bowie - Feeling Good</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.box.net/shared/6iqg9ei5fc">Tyrone Davis - Turn Back The Hands of Time</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.box.net/shared/r37n7mu2e9">Carmen <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">McRae</span></span> - Exactly Like You</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.box.net/shared/jrf1nogais">Patti Jo - Make Me Believe In You</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/%20http://www.box.net/shared/qv4bnl5uje">Blossom <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Dearie</span></span> - Like Someone I Love</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/eung58h6pk">Deidre Wilson <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Tabac</span></span> - The Other Side Of Life</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/icqqoe8cj8%20">Ben <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Sidran</span></span> - About Love</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/l1hn2incjo">Ellen <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">McIlwaine</span></span> - Toe Hold</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/rjgb73ok45%20">Sugar Pie <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Desanto</span></span> - Soulful Dress</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/410B86Z4DRL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/410B86Z4DRL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">WEDDING PRESENT: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">HOLMFIRTH</span></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">PICTUREDROME</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">August 10: You can rent David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Gedge's</span></span> apartment in Santa Monica, California (see <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Weddoes</span></span>' website) - an incongruous location for a man whose songs seem to evoke steamed-up northern boozers where couples argue over dying relationships. </span><br />
<br />
Mr <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Gedge</span></span> ('Call me Mr <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Gedge</span></span> or David', he tells a heckler who calls him <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Gedge</span></span>) is relishing being back in Yorkshire, quipping that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">Brassneck</span></span> doesn't that sound the same when it's sung by southern audiences ('<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Brarrsneck</span></span>').<br />
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The track kicks off a performance of the entire second LP, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Bizarro</span></span>, 21 years after it was released.<br />
<br />
Even though the band have been touring the LP in America since April and will be playing it again in Europe later this year, this gig, one of two festival warm-ups, was not billed as a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Bizarro</span></span> night, so it was an unexpected treat when <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Gedge</span></span> announced the band would be playing the LP in full.<br />
<br />
As he said in an interview with Magnet website earlier this year, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Bizarro</span></span> takes the original idea of the Wedding Present — playing songs as fast and for as long as possible — to its logical conclusion.<br />
<br />
Before this year the songs had never been played back to back and he told Magnet that rehearsals have been like training sessions for a marathon. If it was a struggle, it didn't show, with magnificent rhythm guitar thrashes and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Gedge's</span></span> lovely barking voice woe-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">ing</span></span> and pleading with another woman who was about to leave him.<br />
<br />
It's odd that the song that gets everyone singing, Kennedy, has such <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">un</span></span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Weddoes</span></span> lyrics 'Lost your look of life, too much apple pie'<br />
<br />
Sadly I missed support band Cinerama (same personnel, different instruments) and while a couple of new <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Weddoes</span></span> songs were languid by comparison with the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Bizarro</span></span> set, this was a wonderful night with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Gedge</span></span> (sorry Mr <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">Gedge</span></span>) on good form, batting off a marriage proposal from a male fan and resisting George Best requests.<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=wedding+present+holmfirth+picturedrome+&aq=f">Some great videos from the gig on YouTube</a><br />
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<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">WEDDOES</span></span> TOUR THEIR GREATEST LP</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 10: "We took the original idea of The Wedding Present — namely, to play songs as fast and for as long as possible — to its logical conclusion." That's how David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Gedge</span></span> describes The Wedding <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">Present's</span></span> second and arguably greatest LP, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Bizarro</span></span>, which the band are playing in its entirety in Britain later this year.</span><br />
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In April he told US-based Magnet Magazine that his was idea to play the whole LP live after the success of replaying debut LP George Best live in 2007. But he admits <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Bizarro</span></span> is more of a challenge because of its longer songs.<br />
<br />
And no wonder - with songs like the relentless Kennedy, with its hectic <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Velvetsy</span></span> What Goes On guitar.<br />
<br />
<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">Bizarro</span></span> will be played at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">Leadmill</span></span>, Sheffield on November 18, York on December 5 and Manchester on December 10.<br />
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Here's how Kennedy sounded in Austin, Texas, in June<br />
<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/000bvVrj1vE&hl=en_GB&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/000bvVrj1vE&hl=en_GB&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GENIUS!</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jul 10: Another Word tip-off, via <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">DrakeyGirl</span></span> on the magazine's blog. This is a hilarious take-off of Jay <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">Z's</span></span> New York - Newport (State of Mind).</span> It's hard to do this well but this is spot-on. Made by one of Goldie Looking Chain I think. I love that nasally slightly harsh Newport accent. The D-V-to the L-A <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/aNfbX6uvA6s&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/aNfbX6uvA6s&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">STANLEY ODD</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jul 10: Discovered this band via Word magazine CD - Scottish hip-hop, funny lyrics, great voices, funky as fork. Band name is slightly misleading - reminds me of comedy folk band.</span> <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/S9F7L2WHyQA&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/S9F7L2WHyQA&hl=en_US&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> You've got to love a band who rhyme Veronica and harmonica <a href="http://www.myspace.com/stanleyodd"> Stanley Odd on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">MySpace</span></span></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">YOUTUBE GEMS</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 30: I've come across some fabulous YouTube videos recently, only one of which I've seen before.</span> First up it's Tom Jones and Janis Joplin in a leather-lunged, hip-shaking, organ-grinding (Hammond not Tom) shout-off from 1969. <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/8ib2b4BOZIQ&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/8ib2b4BOZIQ&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> Great dancing on this one too - The Slits' Ari-Up prances like Bob Mortimer in Typical Girls <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/ZyXGblps64M&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/ZyXGblps64M&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> Forgotten how good The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Revillos</span></span> were (and how lovely Fay is) <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/otqqG0Wv2Eg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/otqqG0Wv2Eg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> One of John <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">Shuttleworth's</span></span> funniest - a tribute to Betty Turpin. ('We see Betty Turpin/Only when she's <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">workin</span></span>') <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/4ieP2efA-TM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/4ieP2efA-TM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> It's time to take it right down now and a fabulous version of Pale Blue Eyes (better than the original?) which I remember seeing on telly about 20-plus years ago. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53">Edwyn</span></span> Collins on guitar, Paul Quinn on vocals <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/8Z3RgoukUEk&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/8Z3RgoukUEk&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <a href="http://www.litfest.org.uk/images/banners/web-banner-current.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.litfest.org.uk/images/banners/web-banner-current.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 82px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 766px;"></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SONG I CO-WROTE ON 'ALBUM IN A DAY' CD</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 10: Last month I took part in Huddersfield Literature Festival's Album In A Day project and I provided lyrics to the first song on the project's CD.</span><br />
The idea was that anyone could come along with their lyrics, or have two hours to create their own lyrics, and musicians had three hours to come up with a tune. The musicians then performed the songs live and their performances were recorded. It was a great day (and evening) and I can honestly say there wasn't a duff song on the 10-track Texts and Love and Mortal Soul CD, so all credit to the musicians, organisers (and lyricists!). Most people opted to write their own lyrics in an afternoon, using a Leonard Cohen song, where he writes a letter to a lover, as a springboard for ideas and structure. I tried this but I wasn't satisfied with what I'd written and used lyrics I'd brought along, Keep Your Chin Up. Here are the lyrics: Put your feet up Let your hair down Keep your chin up Keep your nose clean Go bananas In your ‘<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54">jamas</span></span> Let’s be flighty In our nighties Don’t be headstrong Lovely <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">Goolagong</span></span> You’re the kingpin Billie-Jean King Watch your ice creams Or they’ll <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">Meltham</span></span> Sexy undies Here in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">Thongsbridge</span></span> You’re the bees-knees With your Red Stripe Love you truly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">Ossett</span></span> Brewery <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">Hanky</span></span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">panky</span></span> Feeling swanky <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Aga</span></span> saga If you’d rather Do <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">watusi</span></span> It’s a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">doozy</span></span> Mashed ‘<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">potater</span></span>’ See ya later I originally had about three other verses and repeated the first verse at the end, but I was advised to choose the strongest verses and make the first verse into a chorus with an extra couple of lines. All 10 lyricists were asked what type of music they wanted to accompany their lyrics before the 10 musicians beavered away at a tune. I had The Fall's Container Drivers in mind, but I had no idea how the song would turn out until musician (and event organiser) Dave Gill struck up the first chords in Sleepers Bar, Huddersfield. I think his arrangement works really well. To listen to the song, click on the link. <a href="http://www.box.net/shared/bv7imdo309">Keep your chin up</a> The album is not on general sale but festival organisers may sell a few copies. <a href="http://www.vinyltap.co.uk/gallery/sc/scarebiab9511719509680.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.vinyltap.co.uk/gallery/sc/scarebiab9511719509680.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SCAREMONGERS' HOMETOWN GIG</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">March 10: Simon <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">Armitage</span></span> is a reluctant <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">frontman</span></span>. He's either shoe-gazing, looking weary or singing side-on to his wife and co-singer 'Speedy Sue'. Lugubrious? He makes Jonathan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">Meades</span></span> look like Graham Norton. </span> But he has reason to look <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_68">po</span></span>-faced. The sound for The Scaremongers' first hometown gig at Bar 1:22, Huddersfield is a bit ropey - one guitarist in the eight-piece battles against feedback, the other fights to be heard, while <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Armitage's</span> vocals - soft, undeniably Yorkshire and distinctive as his lyrics - drift in and out. The band don't appear until 10.45pm by which time half the audience have left, leaving less than 100 people in the regulation black-walled bar. Mind you, most of the crowd had talked their way through support act Old Man Pie and some of them were still gabbing through the quiet moments in The Scaremongers set. You’d think the quiet songs would best suit a poet in a band, but it’s the full-on numbers, involving all the slick band, that showcase their talents and prove this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">isn</span>’t just a vanity project for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">Armitage</span>. When it all comes together The Scaremongers are wonderful, honorary members of the class of C86 with echoes of The June Brides and The Brilliant Corners. Derailleur, about cycling and the ring road next to the bar, sounds like <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">James's</span> Sit Down, while You Can Do Nothing has a magnificent sing-a-long chorus: ‘<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">Humberside</span> is Yorkshire still, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">Lancashire</span> is over the hill, loneliness is Gaping Gill’ <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thescaremongers">The Scaremongers on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">MySpace</span></a> <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/74/Blackpool_dvd_cover.jpg/200px-Blackpool_dvd_cover.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/74/Blackpool_dvd_cover.jpg/200px-Blackpool_dvd_cover.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 308px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 200px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">BLACKPOOL - BRILLIANT!</span></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 10: No, not the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_68">dayglo</span> vomit of a town, the brilliant BBC series which myself and the lovely P have just got round to watching only six years after it was first on (don't expect cutting edge hipster stuff on this blog).</span> It's an intriguing murder mystery, a heartfelt love story and, on two or three occasions in each episode, the characters sing and dance along with top tunes, from Jimmy Cliff to The Smiths. It also has three compelling characters - slot machine owner played by David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_69">Morrissey</span> (a cross between Elvis and Bradley <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_70">Hardaker</span> from Brass), his wife Sarah Parish and David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_71">Tennant</span> playing the copper investigating a murder in the arcades and lover of Parish's character. I could watch <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_72">Morrissey</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_73">Tennant</span> in anything, they are so compelling. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_74">Tennant</span> shows no signs of the Norman Wisdom <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_75">gurning</span> that blighted his later Dr Who episodes. I'd never seen Parish before but I was really impressed - she's got a great, expressive face. As for the musical interludes, at first they are so surprising they are comical, but then you're keen to see the next one - they complement the story perfectly. The writer is Peter 'Occupation' <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_76">Bowker</span>. Buy it or rent it! <object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/e8tY8zElvRw&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/e8tY8zElvRw&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/xDL0N4842MU&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/xDL0N4842MU&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/xuYObPHeCfc&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/xuYObPHeCfc&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_77">PAINTBALL'S</span> COMING HOME (ALTERNATIVE VERSION)</span></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 10: I'm behind the times again (see above) with this alternative version of one of Half Man Half Biscuit's greatest songs, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_78">Paintball's</span> Coming Home, which nails the conformity of a dull couple. </span> The lyrics are almost completely different, for example: 'They buy soup in cartons, not in tins' instead of 'They know where things are, at B&Q' New version: <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/ex5WYA3pkUo&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/ex5WYA3pkUo&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Old version: <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/zxBt4Z0ByPI&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/zxBt4Z0ByPI&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> For more on Half Man Half Biscuit, see below <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">PUB JUKEBOX ETIQUETTE</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 09: When you're in a boozer, do you chose exactly what you want on the jukey, or is your choice affected by other customers in the pub, or what time/day it is? Do you even become a bit of DJ and chose a selection that goes well together?</span> I was in the Rat and Ratchet, Huddersfield, the other day. It was almost deserted and I fancied some tunes. An old bloke sat next to me just as the Velvets' What Goes On came on. He supped up and buggered off sharpish and I felt a bit guilty. Was it the music? I must say I tend to be a bit self-conscious about who's around when I make a selection on the jukey. If it's Friday teatime, I avoid mournful Smiths and Johnny Cash numbers for an upbeat Kinks/Stones/Blondie/Specials/Undertones/Pulp mix. If it's quiet and there's only a couple of old fellas in there, especially if they look like Camra fundamentalists who hate jukeboxes, it's Dean Martin/Patsy Cline. And when some young 'uns have put a bit of Green Day on, I think in my condescending, middle-aged way: 'Mmm, but have you heard this?' and it's Homicide by 999 or The Adverts' Gary Gilmore's Eyes. I hate it when someone puts a whole Steely Dan, album on - you can't be totally selfish unless the pub's deserted. If it is, then it's time to put on Kennedy by The Weddoes and don't spare the horses. Is it just me? <a href="http://www.thescaremongers.com/images/Small%20Cover%20-%20Scaremongers%20-%20Born%20In%20A%20Barn.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.thescaremongers.com/images/Small%20Cover%20-%20Scaremongers%20-%20Born%20In%20A%20Barn.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">THE SCAREMONGERS</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 09: I must admit when I heard Simon Armitage had his own indie band, </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Scaremongers, </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">I feared the worst. But they are wonderful.</span><br />
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I like his poetry and prose, he seems like a decent fella in the papers and on telly, and, of course, he's from Marsden, but reuniting with your guitar playing chum from 20 years ago in the full glare of the national media, with the Culture Show filming your first gig?<br />
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And despite Armitage being a down-to-earth chap, poets and guitar music sum up visions of polo-neck beatniks sitting in rocking chairs reciting while a guitarist reaches a fretwank climax in a squall of feedback. The Scaremongers combine the best of C86y June Brides/Brilliant Corners/Wedding Present, with more than a whiff of The Smiths.<br />
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Armitage has a lovely nasally drizzly voice, bringing his West Yorkshire vowels to the fore - 'rose' sounds like 'rows'. It's reassuringly northern - the 'rose dies behind the shed', is one line. There's a mention of gable ends and corduroy, Castle Hill and Lancashire being 'over the hill' (something he's mentioned in prose writing).<br />
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Plus there's the only song about the sprocket-activated, variable-ratio transmission system frequently deployed on the modern bicycle - Derailleur. Some of the songs betray their origins from 20 years ago - longing for Cardigan Girls could only be written in the prime of twenty-something speccy awkwardness.<br />
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The Scaremongers first LP, Born in a Barn, is out on Corporation Pop, although it's a bugger to get hold of - Piccadilly Records in Manchester didn't have the band on their computer system and the two record shops in Huddersfield didn't have copies of the LP. <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thescaremongers">Scaremongers on My Space</a> <br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3607/3690600163_b8cf599bbe.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3607/3690600163_b8cf599bbe.jpg?v=0" style="display: block; height: 500px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 316px;"></a> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;">MANCHESTER PROCESSION</span></b> <b>July 09: I thoroughly enjoyed the Manchester Procession, part of the city's international festival, a mixture of traditional floatees, such as beauty queens, and quirky ones, like the tribute to Happy Mondays LP Bummed.</b><br />
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In the wake of the BNP's election victories and its narrow-minded, conformist agenda, it was great to see such a mix of people, straight and gay, white and Asian, young and old.<br />
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You could say there were a few northern cliches, such as chips and mills, but the parade covered such a wide-range of topics and people who never usually take part in such jamborees - smokers, Big Issue sellers, World of Twist fans - that it didn't matter. And after all we are in the north and what's wrong with celebrating chips, especially when we're constantly nagged not to eat them?<br />
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Artist Jeremy Deller's had the idea for the procession, although he was more like a producer - he didn't make the floats or banners. The Bummed bit made me chuckle, with its Rendering That Scaffolding Dangerous banner, and an enthusiastic woman armed with maracas. Perhaps they should have had someone dressed as Mad Cyril or some Fat Lady Wrestlers.<br />
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Thank goodness they didn't reproduce the racy inner sleeve. There was also a tribute to World of Twist who made one of the greatest singles, The Storm. Again just a banner - but it was a nice touch. There were wreathes in hearses for great lost buildings of the region - the Hacienda, Wigan Casino and Corn Exchange.<br />
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My favourite float was Adoration of the Chip, an all-singing all-dancing tribute to the first ever fish and chip shop in Oldham. <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/">More pics</a><br />
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<a href="http://media.philadelphiaweekly.com/images/steven.main.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://media.philadelphiaweekly.com/images/steven.main.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 332px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 449px;"></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">STEVEN TAKE A BOW</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">June 09: He had a unique talent, made his name in the 80s and was loved around the world - never mind Michael Jackson, Steven 'Seething' Wells, ranting journalist extraordinaire, has died of cancer at the age of 49.</span><br />
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And the last words of his last column, published a day before Jacko died, were from a Jackson 5 song: "Me? I blame it on sunshine. I blame it on the moonlight. I blame it on the boogie."<br />
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The column, submitted 11 days before Wells died, was published in the Philadelphia Weekly, the city where he ended his days. In 2006, he was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma and appeared to be in remission, but in January he was diaganosed with enteropathy-associated T-cell lymphoma.<br />
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He recounted his treatment in the Weekly and also wrote sports columns in the Guardian website, but he made his name on the NME, with his passionate, opinionated, argumentative, contrary, relentless, hilarious articles. There appeared to be on self-doubt - everything was in black and white, no umming and arring, sentences tumbling over each other. It was like walking into the teeth of a gale on the end of Whitby Pier. And he wasn't afraid to challenge the untouchables. He was the journalist who gave a cogent and believeable argument about racist overtones in Morrissey's work that has dogged the singer ever since. He challenged the Happy Mondays at the height of their popularity about their homophobia. And even with bands like Chumbawumba, with whom he had an obvious affinity, he wasn't afraid to confront them about joining EMI, and reminded them that they had slagged off New Model Army for doing the same a few years earlier. On a lighter note, when I think of Bjork I always think of her puffin eating because of Wells' interview with her. Wells continued to lambast Morrissey throughout his career, perhaps because The Truculent One, with his mannered quips, deadpan demeanour, pompous air and apolitical views, was everything he was not. Here's Wells on why he thought Morrissey should be England manager (Guardian, 2007): <span style="font-style: italic;">"There will be those who object to this choice, claiming that the Lord Voldemort of pop knows nothing of this most English of sports. But it is they who are ignorant. Morrissey is steeped in English football lore. He reeks of Woodbines, meat pies, wintergreen, Watneys Red Barrel and Brut.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"Morrissey's best qualification for becoming England manager is that he lives in a fusty fantasy world concocted out of Ealing comedies, Keith Waterhouse columns, Alan Bennett monologues, black and white kitchen sink dramas and the films of George Formby.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"He is thus at the exact same stage of emotional and cultural development as the hardcore of "real" England fans, who complain bitterly about how it were all real working-class English blokes around here once - before they ruined it by letting in women and other non real working-class English bloke types.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"Being England" will take on a new, deeper, Englisher meaning. All of Wembley - the buildings, the grass and the staff - will be spray-painted various shades of grey. Comically too small demob suits will be compulsory. As will round NHS spectacles held together in the middle with a sticky plaster.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"There will be complimentary Brilliantine dispensers in the gents toilets (there will be no ladies toilets). Non-smoking will be discouraged. All policing will be done by a single laughing bobby on a white horse. And catering vans will dole out spotted dick with custard for one shilling and sixpence to crowds kept entertained at half-time by the massed ranks of a brilliantly choreographed ukulele-strumming and morris-dancing marching band."</span><br />
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He probably stayed on too long at the NME (and I carried on reading it too long) when it stopped being political or funny and started swooning at anyone with a racy haircut who went to the same London pubs as the journos. You only have to look at the awful tribute on the NME website, cobbled together by a current writer, most of which is all about him and not Wells: "The sheer weight of articulating what his words meant to me has almost ruined me."<br />
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It's, like, so unfair. Wells was born in Swindon, moved to Bradford as a kid, and began performing poems as Seething Wells, supporting bands like The Fall. In the 90s, besides his journo work he wrote a novel, made rock videos and wrote TV comedy with fellow NME-er David Quantick (Day Today). I always thought Wells would go on and do Charlie Brooker/Jon Ronson-type shows on TV but his writing was still brilliant.<br />
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Here he is in the Philadelphia Weekly in 2008 on knitters, a seemingly innocent target that you'd think he might be sympathetic about. <span style="font-style: italic;">"Giving local-geography fascists a good run for their money in the hysterical overreaction stakes are Philadelphia's legions of extremely sensitive and appallingly badly dressed knit-Nazis. Boy do they get pissed if you write rude things about them.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"I should stress here that knit-Nazis are in no way like real Nazis (apart from being really touchy and big fans of the films of Leni Riefenstahl). I use the term because it's an astute parody of the way the crafts most associated with brain-dead, soul-destroying pre-feminist housewifery - knitting, beading, stitching and crocheting--have been re-packaged and successfully sold to smugster sheep as radical, alternative and edgy.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"I have two books on my desk right now, both pushing the strange idea that twiddling about with bits of wool is totally punk rock. And they're just the tip of a huge knitted iceberg. There are entire sections containing metric shit-tons of these knit-Nazi manuals in every book barn in America.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"First up there's Alter Nation. There's a rad-lookin', crazy blue-haired rebel chick on the cover alongside a boast that it contains 25+ DIY fashion projects. Be still my punky heart.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"Then there's Anticraft, subtitled Knitting, beading and stitching for the slightly sinister. One can only assume they're using slightly here to mean not at all. And that anti is a misspelling of auntie.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"Seriously, if you called housework antihousework, would that make it cool? If you anticleaned the kitchen after antichanging the kitty litter before antipicking your screaming brats up from school and antidropping them off at soccer practice before rushing home and nearly anti-overdosing on antidepressants so you can face clearing up the vomit your shit-faced alcoholic of an antihusband has puked all over the bathroom (while still finding time to knit an amusingly decadent antitoilet-roll cover) does that mean your lifestyle is somehow edgier and more interesting than that of your poor burnt-out-at-40, dead-by-50 great grandmother?</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"Put it this way, young goths: Vlad the Impaler didn't crotchet his own ear-flapped bobble hats. And neither should you. If you need a hobby, take up spitting."</span> Many knitters (and Morrissey fans) were not amused by his articles, but what made him so good was that he often made a valid point but lathered it in completely over-the-top language to make it funny.<br />
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Here he is on one of my favourite bands Belle and Sebastian: <span style="font-style: italic;">'self-loving, knock-kneed, passive aggressive, dressed-up-in-kiddy-clothes, mock-pop-creepiness peddling, smug, underachieving, real-pop-hating no-talents celebrating their own inadequacy with music so white it’s translucent'.</span> Wells's death has made an impression on me partly because he's only a few years older and I'm that age when I'm scanning obituary columns for ages and causes of death (just call me Cheerful Charlie). He reminds me of my youth and yet he has been able to contemplate his own mortality. He coul<br />
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d have bullshitted and gone out in a big two-fingers-to-cancer-religion-I-regret-nothing-fuck-you-Morrissey-bedwetters way, but this is how he did it in his final Philadelphia Weekly column: <span style="font-style: italic;">"Of course all this bollocks is written by an idiot who has polished his image as an existentialist, atheist hard-man and anti-mope, forever sneering at the tribes who wallow in self-pity - the gothers, the emo kids, the Smiths fans - the whole 900-block-wide marching band composed entirely of the white male urban middle classes who are convinced that (as the most affluent and pampered human beings who have ever walked the planet) theirs is a story worth hearing. Blissfully unaware that they are but a few generations away from regular visits to the doctor who would wind parasitic worms from their beer bloated assholes using sticks.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"You could blame this fallacy on poor education, cultural deterioration, or simple moral decline.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Me? I blame it on sunshine. I blame it on the moonlight. I blame it on the boogie."</span> "There is a light that never goes out," as you know who once said.<br />
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Some other tributes: Billy Bragg: <span style="font-style: italic;">"The antithesis of the bonehead racist, he was in fact an articulate left-winger. And unlike the bullyboy, who only picks on those weaker than him, Swells chose to target the powerful, the popular, the hip and the cool. There was a time in the mid-’80s when the Smiths could do no wrong in the New Musical Express (NME). There were voices prepared to challenge this state of affairs, but only Swells could be relied upon to indulge in the merciless piss-taking of Morrissey, week after week. It comes as no surprise to learn that one of his last online columns for thequietus.com was a marvellous pin-pricking of the pomposity of Radiohead. </span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"However, anyone who really knew him would tell you that, no matter how hard he tried to come across as the cynical hard-man, his love of humanity in all its shitty glory would always shine through. He was possessed of a self-effacing sense of humour that would often overcome him at the apex of some raging tirade, leaving him and anyone within earshot laughing at his overwrought hysteria. </span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"He was at heart an iconoclast. Put anything on pedestal and Swells couldn’t resist taking a pot-shot at it. Nobody was spared. He was one of my earliest supporters in the music press, shared my idealism, yet continually referred to me in print as “Bilious Braggart,” even when he was praising my output. "</span><br />
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James Brown (Guardian): <span style="font-style: italic;">"It is, perhaps, fitting that in the week that the NME editor joined the BBC to develop the multi-platform brand of Top Gear magazine, the most political and confrontational NME writer of the late 1980s and early 1990s should die from cancer. Steven Wells, or Swells as we knew him, was the most impossible person to work with because he knew no form of compromise, had little true interest in music, was narrow-minded and his personal hygiene and dress sense left so much to be desired that the company nurse once appeared and ordered him to remove and burn his stain-covered tracksuit bottoms. Naturally all of this made him a provocative and popular NME writer.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">"As an NME writer, he was obsessed with class war, masturbation, dogs, cancer, Jello Biafra and the multiple use of the exclamation mark. His work was littered with it. Almost creating his own language. '(SUBS LEAVE THESE LAST THREE SENTENCES IN)' was a regular sentence in his copy.</span><br />
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From Philadelphia Weekly: Kitty Empire (NME colleague): <span style="font-style: italic;">"I can't think of anyone more full of blood and bile and vim and mischief and rage and humour. Swells just should not be dead. It's just inconceivable. He was like a Tasmanian Devil of words."</span><br />
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Mark Beaumont: <span style="font-style: italic;">"When I first started writing for NME, Swells would chastise me every time I wrote anything that wasn't extreme enough. "You don't 'open the door', you 'kick the door into a splintering heap and leap through spewing AK razor-fire', get it?" For him music journalism was all about over-statement, vitriol, attackattackattack. There's a new star in Heaven tonight, and it's kicking all the other stars in the bollocks for being mung bean-munching ning-nang-nong hippies and Bis fans."</span><br />
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Amanda Freeman: <span style="font-style: italic;">"Dear Swells. You romanced me for 5 years in the 90's. You wooed me with ranting punk poetry and flowers. You wouldn't let me listen to the Smiths in the house but then I wouldn't let you play Napalm Death so it seemed like a fair swop. I wanted to hug you and throttle you in equal measure but you were without doubt the most funny, inspiring and downright decent bloke one could wish to meet, a huge champion and defender of women in general and the only boyfriend my Mum still asks about. God bless you - although you'd hate me for saying that. RIP Swells</span>"<br />
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Carol Freeman: <span style="font-style: italic;">"As mother of an ex girlfriend I'm so very very sad. Two hours partnering Swells playing some frightful Christmas game was an experience not to be missed. His quick mind and constant vitality though exhausting kept this aging brain cell in trim. His 'real self' was hugely endearing though he'd hate me saying so. Such talent and so lovely a man will be missed by all who knew him, not least his wife who I don't know but who must be devastated. You are in my thoughts right now as is Swells. I'm really really upset by this news. Go well</span>." <a href="http://everetttrue.wordpress.com/2009/06/25/steven-wells-tributes/">Everett True: Collection of tributes to Steven Wells</a> <a href="http://thestevenwells.com/Main.html">Family and friends tribute site</a> Pic: Philadelphia Weekly <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">WORST COUNTRY AND WESTERN SONG TITLES</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">May 09: Folks at work have found this brilliant site of 250 of <a href="http://www.downstream.sk.ca/country1.htm">the worst country and western song titles</a>. Some are obvious spoofs but most are genuine. Here are my favourites:</span> 1 Come out of the Wheatfield Nellie, You're Going Against the Grain 2 Don't Chop Any Wood Mother, I'm Comin' in With a Load! 3 Get Off The Stove Grandma, You're Too Old To Ride The Range 4 Did I Shave my Legs for This? 5 Hand me the Pool Cue and Call Yourself an Ambulance 6 He Went To Sleep and The Hogs Ate Him (Now Claude's Gone Forever) 7 I'm So Miserable Without You, it's Almost like Having you Here 8 I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life 9 At the Gas Station of Love, I Got the Self Service Pump 10 If Today Was a Fish, I'd Throw It Back In 11 Pardon Me, I've Been Pardoned 12 I Wanna Whip Your Cow 13 She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy 14 You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd 15 You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly 16 I'm Gonna Hire A Wino To Decorate Our Home. 17 Legendary Chicken Fairy 18 The Pint Of No Return 19 I Went Back to My Fourth Wife for the Third Time and Gave Her a Second Chance to Make a First Class Fool Out of Me 20 I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones <a href="http://www.scopitones.co.uk/wallpaper/clouds800x600.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.scopitones.co.uk/wallpaper/clouds800x600.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 350px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 500px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SWINGING GEDGE</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">May 09: Imagine Frank Sinatra in his 50s swinging pomp but instead of "I get no kicks from champagne", it's "Why are you being reasonable now?", and instead of Frank it's the mighty David Gedge. Sounds impossible? Dreadful? Wedding Present The Chicken In A Basket Years? (as King Richard of Otley reckons)</span> Don't believe a word - the combination of Gedge singing with the BBC Big Band in Leeds is brilliant! He modulates his familiar braying tones and really swings it - daddio! <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTW1X4A1bY4">Brassneck</a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">INVENT YOUR OWN BAND NAME/LP COVER</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">May 09: Pardon me for being drastically unhip, but this amusing internet game I'm about to explain was probably fashionable with the young and haircutted in the last century, so I'm in danger of being pooh-poohed by skinny hipsters in unnecessary sunglasses, but it's great fun:</span> 1. Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random… Read more” or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band. 2. Go to “Random quotations” or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3. Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover. 4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together. Here's mine: <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_YlDGMyEP9mY/Sg2S94H9qrI/AAAAAAAAACM/n-B9xLqAYrc/s1600-h/album+cover.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336082725239368370" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_YlDGMyEP9mY/Sg2S94H9qrI/AAAAAAAAACM/n-B9xLqAYrc/s200/album+cover.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 292px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a> I'm thinking emo-y Oxford teenagers who thought the band name was, 'like, ironic' because they're not from Finland or social democratic, in fact they're not interested in politics and they're fed up of being judged for not going on student demos. It's like a form of prejudice, a higher grade of prejudice, in fact. For the music I'm thinking doomy, sorry-for-myself Mogwai-lite Here's the lovely Mrs P's: <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YlDGMyEP9mY/Sg2VTcjhKiI/AAAAAAAAACU/gp2PgOAMk6c/s1600-h/prue%27s+lp+cover.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336085294819125794" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YlDGMyEP9mY/Sg2VTcjhKiI/AAAAAAAAACU/gp2PgOAMk6c/s200/prue's+lp+cover.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 251px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a> One 80-minute track from 'the Hawks', who are famed for dressing in monks cowls and having five guitarists who each play different tones of feedback. Blamed for inciting crazed gunmen at school massacres. <a href="http://binkythedoormat.com/">Thanks to Dan for this. He runs this ace site</a> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/EBUiPs1PxKo&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/EBUiPs1PxKo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">MARK E SMITH READS THE FOOTBALL RESULTS</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">March 09:</span> Yes it did actually happen, on November 19, 2005, although he only read the repeat results at 540pm on digital TV. The Barnsley v Rotherham result has never sounded so good and he's more comfortable being interviewed by Ray Stubbs than by most people. (Ta for clip, Rich) <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">LUX INTERIOR RIP</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 09: When a well-respected musician snuffs it, you usually hear someone say: "Of course I saw them in '85 and it was the best gig ever" even though they haven't mentioned the gig before.</span> Anyway I saw the Cramps at Manchester Hacienda in 1985 (it might have been '86) and it was the best gig ever. We got a great spot upstairs directly in front of the late Lux. It was so packed they were dragging fainting people out of the front rows. And the Cramps were magnificent - Lux treading a fine line between scary and daft. One moment sticks out. It's from this song, the Oo,ee,ah-ah song, or:
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<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQew7N3urOY&feature=related">She Said</a></li>
A bloke climbed onto one of the metal girders in front of the stage, spread his arms and Lux pointed at him and shouted: 'Jesus! That feels real good' and everyone cheered. Then he sang 'Oo ee ah-ah!' By the way, there's a Lux Interior Ltd in Macclesfield - they're kitchen designers. My favourite Cramps song: <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/rVLpaiH2hbQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/rVLpaiH2hbQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ARTISTE OF THE MONTH(JAN 2009)</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jospehine Oniyama</span> - wonderful deep Tracy Chapmanesque voice, backed by mix of skiffle, C86y bands, (90s band) Eat guitars
<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/josephineoniyama">Josephine's MySpace site</a></li>
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ARTISTES OF THE MONTH (Sept 08)</span> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/rn1YBRmmXig&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/rn1YBRmmXig&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Best video of the month: Like my life story - lovelorn speccy fat blokes with Marks and Spencer V-necks and Woody Allen box-sets (one of the blokes in the vid actually looks like me!). It's Hey Boy, You're Oh So Sensitive by <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Just Joans</span> Best rhyme of the month -'Going to France/To see your underpants' from Tour Operator by joyous tra-la-la threesome <span style="font-weight: bold;">All Girl Summer Fun Band</span>
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<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/agsfb">All Girl Summer Fun Band on MySpace</a></li>
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Autumn Defense:</span> Fond of harmonies and intricate melodies - think Crosby, Stills and Nash without the hippy-drippyness or The Zombies in mellow moments. Involves a fella from Wilco/Uncle Tupelo.
<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/theautumndefense">The Autumn Defense on MySpace</a></li>
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Michael Rossiter:</span> Voice, geetar, folky-blue in minor keys. It's been done so many times before, but this Leeds bloke does it better than most.
<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/michaelrossiter">Michael Rossiter on MySpace</a></li>
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GIVING 'EM THE ELBOW</span> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/ILxlVqf2fYU&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/ILxlVqf2fYU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-weight: bold;">July 08: Being old and in need of regular sleep and a comfortable toilet, I only watch pop festivals on the television these days.</span> Wading through the bog standard indie on the TV - chirpy choruses, Knees Up Mother Brown guitars and echoes of third rate punk (hello Fratellis and Pigeon Detectives), the magnificent Elbow stood out a mile. As Elbow are northern, slightly overweight, scruffy and mates of I am Kloot, I've always warmed to them although never quite got into their music - until I heard their new single - One Day Like This - on Glasto TV. It features not one but two singalong choruses, Guy Garvey's magnificent vocal and some lovely lyrics which fit a Glasto sunset perfectly. <a href="http://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/images/sleeves/Cammell.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://cobweb.businesscollaborator.com/hmhb/images/sleeves/Cammell.jpg" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 300px;"></a> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;">HALF MAN HALF BISCUIT</span></b> <i>Britain's most sarcastic band</i> <span style="font-weight: bold;">May 08: There's a new LP out - CSI Ambleside - here's the titles and lines from the songs.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Evening Of Swing (Has Been Cancelled)</span> "...outside the Gielgud a neon sign read, "Equus On The Buses" starring Mr. Ed..." <span style="font-weight: bold;"> Bad Losers On Yahoo Chess</span> "...Deep Blue, in '97 I voted for you as Sports Personality of the Year - thought at least you'd get the Overseas..." <span style="font-weight: bold;">Took Problem Chimp To Ideal Home Show</span> "...Llewellyn Bowen, two Carols, go on Bobby, both barrels..." <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ode To Joyce</span> "...it hurts when I hear all the songs to Maria when we haven't really done with J... or K..." <span style="font-weight: bold;">Blue Badge Abuser</span> "...one day I know I'll have to face His wrath - a walk in hell for a walk-in bath..." <span style="font-weight: bold;">Totnes Bickering Fair</span> "...I'm gonna feed our children non-organic food..." <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">King Of Hi-Vis</span> "...be safe, be seen, be anyone you like..." <span style="font-weight: bold;">Lord Hereford's Knob</span> "...Twmpa, Twmpa, you're gonna need a jumper..." <span style="font-weight: bold;"> On The 'Roids</span> "....He used to lark with the dreads, now he's a nark on the ste'ds.." <span style="font-weight: bold;"> Petty Sessions</span> "...I stick me big nose in when I go out, sealed-off car park - what's it all about?..." <span style="font-weight: bold;">Little In The Way Of Sunshine</span> "...I was 'Mr Wet Underpants' in '89, titled by accident more than design..." <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Give Us Bubblewrap</span> "...give us bubblewrap, and stick the Apple Mac in the car park..." <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">National Shite Day</span> "...there's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millets..." From website, see below. BEST EVER SONG TITLES: 1 Outbreak of Vitas Gerulitis 2 99 Per Cent of Gargoyles Look Like Bob Todd 3 Dead Men Don't Need Season Tickets 4 We Built This Village on a Trad Arr Tune 5 Tending the Wrong Grave for 23 Years 6 13 Eurogoths Floating in the Dead Sea 7 Joy Divison Oven Gloves 8 Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite 9 Paintball's Coming Home 10 The Len Ganley Stance <i>If I was a linesman, I would execute defenders who applauded my offsides</i> <i>I went to see the Bootleg Beatles as the bootleg Mark Chapman</i> <b>24 Hour Garage People</b> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/yS5YaRmZCQo&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/yS5YaRmZCQo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <b>Paintball's Coming Home</b> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/vhm2afQRq3Q&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/vhm2afQRq3Q&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <i>Cammell Laird Social Club alternative LP titles: And you will know us by the trail of bread - The Ducks Charlie Drake sings Nick Drake James Alexander Gordon yodels Division 2 Crunchy the donkey brays Elgar Jack Charlton reads the Book of Job The Stooges of Humber - You're pretty face is going to Hull</i>
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<li><a href="http://www.hmhb.co.uk/">Official Half Man Half Biscuit website</a></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"></span> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;">WEDDING SONGS - UPDATE</span></b> <b>May 08: The lovely P and I are getting hitched later this year and there are two vital things we've got to do - never mind frocks and vows, there's got to be real ale and top tunes!</b> The ale is sorted and we've found a DJ who'll play what we want. We saw him when we went to a wedding in Manchester where the bride was dancing magnificently to The Stooges. So we've got 3-4 hours and we want people on that dancefloor straight away cos a lot of the time people wait for everyone else to dance and half the night's gone. So it's got to be all thrillers and no fillers - but how to get in all our favourites that are danceable and ensure we're not missing anything? We keep hearing great songs on the radio that we'd forgotten. Our pal Rosh lent us one of those Guinness chart books and then played a selection of lost classics (Bananarama and Blondie sounded fantastic). My favourite band is The Velvets and while it would great to have the 40 minute live version of Sister Ray/Foggy Notion, I don't think anyone else would. Neither would The Gift ('His head split gently in the morning sun, sending little rhythmic arcs of blood spurting'). But would people get up to What Goes On or Temptation Inside Your Heart? Is there a Half Man Half Biscuit danceable wedding song? 24 Hour Garage People for a singalong? And what about The Super Furry Animals? And Jonathan Richman? Some of our favourite joint songs from the Rat and Ratchet are inappropriate - Tempted (by the fruit of another) - Squeeze, and Something Better Change by The Stranglers. And I am Kloot? ('There's blood on your legs, I love you') So here's our rough guide -so far. Early 80s uni stuff (Smiths - Panic, Hang the DJ one), Bananarama (Robert de Niro, Na Na Hey Hey one, Really Saying Something) Violent Femmes - Gone Daddy Gone? Kiss Off? Bunnymen's Never Stop. A bit of Squeeze and Ian Dury. Cure's Inbetween Days would be a good opener to the whole shebang I reckon. Madchester - Mondays' Step On/Kinky Afro, Roses' I Am The Resurrection, Charlatans' The Only One I Know/Sproston Green. Plus, from the same era - Cud's Rich and Strange, Weddoes' Everyone Thinks He Looks Daft Britpop - Parklife/ Boys Who Like Girls - Blur, Wonderwall/Cigarettes and Alcohol - Oasis, Common People/Babies - Pulp Sixties - Stones Jumpin Jack Flash/Honky Tonk Woman/Can't Always Get What You Want. Georgie Fame - Yeh Yeh Easy Listening singalong? Green Green Grass of Home - Tom Jones, I Love You Baby - Andy Williams. Plus Catatonia Mulder and Scully/Thank The Lord I'm Welsh. Then there are a few stand-out songs - Brimful of Asha Cornershop, Groove is in the Heart, Edwyn Collins' Never Known a Girl Like You Before. Belle and Sebastan's got to be in there - Boy With The Arab Strap, I reckon There's got to be some Badly Drawn Boy in here as well for the lovely P...mmm. So are we missing anything? Any requests? <b>WE'VE JUST THOUGHT OF:</b> <b>May 08: </b>Sharp Dressed Man - ZZ Top (another Rat and ratchet jukey fave) It Must Be Love - Madness I'm a Believer - Monkees Bright Side of the Road - Van Morrison Perfect - Fairground Attraction Downtown - Petula Clark Hold Me Close Don't Let Me Go - David Essex (Last two for singalong section at end?) Pogues - Fiesta Love is the Drug - Roxy Superstition - Stevie Wonder Abba Lily Allen - LDN/Alfie Beach Boys - Surfin USA Beautiful South - 36D How Sweet It is To Be Loved by You - Temptations Respect - Aretha Dance to the Music - Sly and the Family Stone Movin on up/Loaded - Primal Scream Lust for Life - Iggy Praise You - Fatboy Slim Take Me Out - Franz Ferdindand Suffragette City - David Bowie A bit of punk - Undertones/Buzzcocks We've also had some eighties input from some pals so it looks like I'm going to be at the bar when the following's on: Duran Duran (Reflex, Rio), ABC, Wham, Prince (Alpahbet St) plus Don't Stop Moving by S Club 7 (sigh), Can't Get you out of my head - Kylie, Music - Madonna </div>
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<b>SOME NEW SUGGESTIONS</b> <b>June 08: </b>Richard, King of Otley, has suggested Len Ganley Stance for the Half Man Half Biscuit tune. I'm thinking Light At the End of The Tunnel would be a good hoe-down dance chance. Dan says how about Tainted Love, Reward (Teardrop Explodes)and Aztec Camera? Liking the sound of the last two. Barry White also sounded fabulous sung by a great singer in a pub in Halsall, West Lancs <a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2404/2280700030_e1e42def8f.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://farm3.static.flickr.com/2404/2280700030_e1e42def8f.jpg?v=0" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 300px;"></a><b> </b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">The wit and wisdom of Mark E Smith</span>Apr 2008: OK, he's bit of a miserable bugger with a chip on his shoulder and attracts a lot of uncritical male fans (like The Smiths and Half Man Half Biscuit), but he's one of the few famous people who's stayed true to himself over the years and he's hilarious.</b> Here's a few quotes from his autobiography, Renegade, from The Guardian. <b>Sex</b> The older I get, the more I remember things my dad used to say to me, things like, "If you're feeling too sexy, have a glass of water and a run round the backyard." <b>Why he sacked Mark Riley</b> He was getting out of hand - wanting to do Totally Wired twice a night, playing Container Drivers with his cowboy hat. <b>Footballers</b> Beckham and Lampard look like they've just got ready for bed after polishing off their mam's supper on a Sunday night. <b>Madonna</b> Spending two million sampling Abba's Gimme, Gimme, Gimme. What's the point? If you spent a week working at it you could whistle a tune as good as that. It's not just her, though, they're all bone idle. <b>Smoking</b> I'm annoyed by the lack of smoking on TV. We should have more ashtrays on morning TV, and presenters wheezing. <b>Dinner party chez Smith</b> I only have three chairs in the house: one for the wife, one for me, and one for a guest. No more. One guest at a time - that's my philosophy. You don't want your house turning into a hippy commune. <b>Students</b>They've all got foppy fringes Pic: Me </div>
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ARTISTE OF THE MONTH - LIONHEART BROTHERS</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">March 08:</span> Joyous tunes with a psychedelic tinge - '50 Souls and a Discobowl' sounds like Belle and Sebastian, 'Lead me to the waters' is a little bit Spiritualized. The Brothers are from Norway and are at the Night and Day, in Manchester, on March 31.
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<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/lionheartbrothers">My Space site</a></li>
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>FEATURED ARTISTES</b></span> <b>I'm not listening to enough new stuff so I decided to track down what's on at the Night and Day, in Manchester, the Brudenell and Packhorse, both in Leeds, (who are all good at showcasing interesting new stuff) and myspace them.</b> So here's my favourites for November 07: <b>Sky Larkin</b> Leeds based but with a poshish woman singing, they remind me of Sleeper.
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<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/skylarkinskylarkin">My Space site</a></li>
<b>Jim Bianco</b> - thankfully no relation of Mat, more a cousin of Tom Waits, with some swing/blues slowies. You can imagine him playing at 3am in a New York bar.
<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/jimbianco">Jim Bianco</a></li>
<b>Sons and Daughters</b> - echoes of choppy post punk chords of Fire Engines and Josef K with some lovely Glaswegian vocals.
<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/sonsanddaughters">My Space site</a></li>
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<a href="http://a383.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/48/m_cf35c8251df478bdce9624dd45f6b186.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://a383.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/48/m_cf35c8251df478bdce9624dd45f6b186.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a> <span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>THE LANCASHIRE HOTPOTS</b></span><b>Spoofing awful Lancs folk bands like The Houghton Weavers and Fivepenny Piece, with Fred Dibnah vocals and lyrics such as this (to the tune of the Okey-cokey): </b> <i>Oh no, he's turned emo He's dressin' like a goth and he's let himself go He used to be listening to Simply Red But now he's listening to Fall Out Boy instead</i>
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<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/thelancashirehotpots">My Space site</a></li>
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<a href="http://www.emilydruce.co.uk/images/gal_08_tn.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.emilydruce.co.uk/images/gal_08_tn.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 100px;"></a> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;">EMILY DRUCE</span></b> <i>Face of an indie singer, voice like Memphis Minnie.</i> May 08: Emily's new band - The Why and Wherefores - have got a myspace site and a few gigs coming up mainly in Lancs and Yorks.
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<li><a href="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=232881492">My Space site</a></li>
<b>Oct o7: Emily has joined forces with the Yorkshire based Swing group 'Dizzy Fingers' to perform popular songs of the 30's and 40's and they've got a sold-out gig at Marsden Jazz Festival (and my mate tells me she's doing a version of Pale Blue Eyes. </b> News from website, June 07: "Emily Druce and co-front man Steve Jones are in the throes of recording an album of original songs with their new band The Why & Wherefores. The Why & Wherefores plays cool contemporary blues, swinging all the way from roots to rockabilly. It's a dynamic five piece band featuring a tuba taking up the bass lines, a truly funky drummer, soaring lap steel, dirty, pretty guitar from Steve (plus vocals and harmonica) and gorgeous, gritty vocals from Emily(plus guitar, fiddle and mandolin) As well as recording at Touchwood Studios in Leeds, Bruce from Touchwood is recording a live set at The Albert in Huddersfield on Friday 27th July 2007.(entrance free !). The new album will be recorded by mid August and released in autumn 2007." Tunes:
<li><a href="http://www.emilydruce.co.uk/downloads/stony%20road.mp3">Stony Road</a></li>
from the Guilt Trip LP (2000)
<li><a href="http://www.emilydruce.co.uk/downloads/Down%20On%20My%20Knees.mp3">Down on my knees</a></li>
from New Day LP (2002)
<li><a href="http://www.emilydruce.co.uk/downloads/druce+jones%20lets%20walk%20out.wma">Let's walk out</a></li>
from Druce and Jones LP Songs from the silver band room (2004)
<li><a href="http://www.emilydruce.co.uk/">Official Emily Druce website</a></li>
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<a href="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/196/479701553_ca9a1e37ee.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://farm1.static.flickr.com/196/479701553_ca9a1e37ee.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">WEDDING PRESENT IN HOLMFIRTH</span></b> <b>May 07: I must have seen the Weddoes/Cinerama about 10 times since the late 80s but I wouldn't have gone to this gig if Richard, King of Otley hadn't asked me. The Weddoes' 'comeback' tour show at the Leadmill was such a disappointment and the new songs rather dull. That's the thing with the Weddoes, you can see them at a run of gigs and they're exhilarating or they get drearier and drearier at each gig. I'm glad I went to Holmfirth, this was one of the Weddoes' best gigs.</b> It's only Gedge now and some young pups half his age - when I say 'only Gedge' it's a bit like saying only Mark E Smith in The Fall.<br />
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Maybe I was a bit disappointed at the Leadmill gig that the original band hadn't got back together. Anyway Gedge is a lot more cheerful than he was at the Leddy and he's in blinding form, zipping through the set with his excellent band. His thick thatch is drifting towards V-shaped baldness, matched by the wilting quiffs and bald spots in the moshpit. The rest of us 30 and 40 somethings are resting our ageing limbs in the comfy former cinema's seats.<br />
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The Weddoes' template is untouched. A man with a pleasingly braying voice (who occasionally looks like John Major's trendier younger brother) talks over his disappointment at catching his lover in bed with someone, or his longing for someone unobtainable, or the rather excellent sex he's been having. Meanwhile What Goes on by The Velvets is played at various speeds. There's a smattering of favourites from the last 20 years, including one Cinerama song, and two promising newies - one with the title What I Like Best About You is Your Girlfriend, which Gedge says is a classic 'Gedge' title although his drummer's told him it's the title of an old Specials song (I think he's right). Here's that song from the gig <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/cD_7k6Sozwc&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/cD_7k6Sozwc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> The Weddoes are on the up again and I won't need persuading to go to the next gig. <b>UPDATE June 07:</b> To mark the 20th anniversary of the release of George Best,the Wedddoes are playing the whole LP live and recreating the tour of the time (or as near as damn it) - Manchester Uni on October 26th, Liverpool Academy on 27th. <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/Euj8ZYxwSII&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/Euj8ZYxwSII&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> Blurred cameraphone pic - Me. <a href="http://www.mikartistik.com/mikportrait.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.mikartistik.com/mikportrait.jpg" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 300px;"></a> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;"> </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">MIK ARTISTIK'S EGO TRIP</span></b> <b>April 2007: There's a hard-looking bald man in a loud shirt singing "Gulliver..Gulliver" in front of the small crowd at the Zephyr Bar, in Huddersfield. He's staring straight ahead, unblinking. "Gulliver...Gulliver". There's a few nervous laughs - is he funny or scary? "Gulliver..Gulliver..he were a big lad."</b> The place erupts.<br />
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It's Mik Artistik and his band (or statement of life) Ego Trip. Think Brian Glover sings John Cooper Clarke and Half Man Half Biscuit and you're somewhere near. He compares himself to Wild Man Fischer and Charlie Chuck. He's a 52-year-old grand-dad from Armley and he's hilarious. 'Joyce Grenfell's teeth exploded in my face' is the title of one song. 'Sculpture Workshop' has the chorus 'Don't bring your son to the sculpture workshop, he copies what I do'.<br />
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Another song is about finding a dipstick in Roundhay and deciding to build a car around it. 'Birdbath' is reworking of an old rock 'n' roll tune 'Birddog' - 'Johnny was a birdbath/He's a door'. And 'Turning into Dad' (to the tune of 'Walking in the Air') is a touching song about his Irish dad - 'He was a f***ing brute/He told me what to do/I didn't pay any attention and went to listen to Santana'. Halfway through the gig,<br />
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I suddenly recognised him - he was the man who drew portraits on brown paper bags at the Grove Festival in Leeds about five years ago. He was also the man who got up on stage at this festival and sang 'Caught in your straps' to the tune of 'Caught in a trap' and 'My daughter sells shoes' (he said after the gig that this song was a one-off).<br />
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According to the BBC, he's been gigging as a band since 2004 and the guitarist and bassist who backed him did a cracking job. He's done three LPs (I think), been an extra (on Phoenix Nights, he was one of the 'alternative' comedians) and a stand-up. He's at Glastonbury in June and in West Yorkshire pubs before. And he says he's not hard. Go and see him and buy his LPs
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<li><a href="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=205328429">Mik's MySpace site</a></li>
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<b>I'm Turning Into Dad</b> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/F83WCCf8RBQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/F83WCCf8RBQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <a href="http://www.rhythmsisters.com/images/OptimizedPhotosAndArtwork/imagegalleryLarge/image_7.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.rhythmsisters.com/images/OptimizedPhotosAndArtwork/imagegalleryLarge/image_7.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;"> </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">RETURN OF THE RHYTHM SISTERS</span></b> <i>Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, Sunday, Lazy Leeds afternoons</i> <b>March 07: Mandi and Debi Laek have announced the release of their third album 20 years after the first one - Road to Roundhay Pier.</b> But goodness knows what they've been up to in recent years, there's nothing on their official or MySpace websites. I played the Roundhay Pier album death when it came out. The sisters' vocals were instantly recognisable and irresistible with memorable choruses backed by some acoustic, occasionally slide, guitar. They had also the winning combination of looking sultry and bolshy - and one of them wears specs, hurrah! The new LP's called Tell Me How Long The Boat's Been Gone and is supposed to be similar to Roundhay Pier. No gigs due.
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<li><a href="http://www.myspace.com/rhythmsisters">Rhythm Sisters MySpace site</a></li>
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>'GLASTONBURY' <b>DOESN'T </b>COME TO HUDDERSFIELD</b> May 2007: It's off! Organisers have decided to call it off before the licensing application went before council. Worryingly, council officers had given no recommendation either way and whingeing villagers had set up petitions complaining that the festival would be a cross between Altamount and a Viking raid when it would probably have been full of Bob Harris-types with pipes and slippers.</span><b>March 2007 update: Huddersfield's answer to Glastonbury takes place in Farnley Tyas, near Honley, this summer with The Proclaimers, Badly Drawn Boy and The Levellers starring.</b> Song07 is on July 27-29. On July 28 order of bands is Proclaimers, Badly Drawn Boy, Paul Brady, Duke Special, Holmes Brothers, Nizlopi and others. On July 29 it's Levellers, Seth Lakeman, Calexico, Cara Dillon, Chris Difford, Paul Burch, Thea Gilmore. £80 for whole shebang, £45 for Sat/Sun day tickets. No licence yet and 250 residents have signed a petition to oppose (traffic, noise blah-blah nimbys!) <b><span style="font-size: 130%;"> </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">BEST LPS OF 2006</span></b> <b>Dec 2006: Word magazine did a great feature about Dadrock this year in which dads sneeringly dismiss their offspring's choice of music with phrases such as "of course this sounds just like Gang of Four from 25 years ago". I must admit I feel like that when I listen to My Chemical Romance (watered-down marchalong punk with added eyeliner) and even the Arctic Monkeys.</b> So here's my Top 10 for this year. I have to confess it's the top 10 of all CDs I bought this year as I haven't heard enough decent new stuff - Hot Chip, The Raconteurs and Cat Power did nothing for me and Bob Dylan and Neil Young will always be crap. <b> </b><br />
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<b>1 Lily Allen - Alright Still:</b> Feel a bit "getting down with the kids" about this one but her hilarious "bovvered" lyrics sung around some catchy ska riffs made this my favourite this year.<br />
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<b>2 Belle and Sebastian - Life Pursuit:</b> Showed how patchy their previous LP (Dear Catastrophe Waitress) was. Songs on this LP ranked with the best of their early stuff.<br />
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<b>3 Meic Stevens - Disgwyl Rhywbech Gwell i ddod:</b> The Welsh folk legend has been fined £500 today (December 15) for threatening to shoot a Pembrokeshire landlady. I bought this compliation of his early stuff (from 1968-1979) a few months earlier and it's fantastic - blues, folk, psychedelia, pub sing-a-longs and more formal choral stuff.<br />
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<b>4 Sparks - Hello Young Lovers:</b> They creeped me out in the 70s but this was a revelation. Amusing songs based on repetitive riffs and lyrics ("Here Kitty, Kitty") which occasionally outstay their welcome. <b> </b><br />
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<b>5 Cud - Rich and Strange Anthology:</b> Triumphant return for the Yorkshire band who were overshadowed by Madchester and Britpop. <b> </b><br />
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<b>6 Dominic E Collins - Canadian Geese Over Ancoats Skies:</b> Compared mistakenly with Mike Harding, Dominic has a Manc-as-they-come voice, an acoustic guitar and songs about his local pie shop, among other things. <b> </b><br />
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<b>7 Zero 7 - The Garden:</b> Two very different vocalists (Jose Gonzalez and Sia Farler) mean this album is divided into slow moody songs and quicker sing-a-long stuff. <b> </b><br />
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<b>8 Van Morrison - It's Too Late To Stop Now:</b> I bought this 1974 live double after reading Johnny Rogan's critical biography of the grumpy maestro this year. This was one of the LPs Rogan recommended and he was right. <b> </b><br />
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<b>9 Arctic Monkeys - Whatever...</b> Great lyrics and distinctive vocals lift this above the usual punk-lite tunes. <b> </b><br />
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<b>10 North by North West:</b> Liverpool and Manchester bands of the late 70s/early 80s. The obvious choices plus some forgotten gems such as Blue Orchids' Work. <a href="http://static.flickr.com/93/245842700_821efac99e_m.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://static.flickr.com/93/245842700_821efac99e_m.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 300px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;"> </span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">CUD-FATHERS</span></b> <b>Sept 2006: On the way to the Leeds Irish Centre to see the Cud band for the first time in 12-13 years, Radio 1's Zane Lowe (the most serious man ever) was bigging up some achingly trendy band called Tram, Tram, Tram (or something) and then played their song and it sounded like.. the Knack's My Sharona.</b> And then I saw Cud. Knocking seven bells of shit out of all the angular-haired punk-funk retreaders from London or the US.<br />
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Was Carl's voice up for it? Would new guitarist Felix fill the considerable boots (Hey Boots!) of the assistant headteacher from Tadcaster? Would the band gel like the greasiest Ted? Yes, yes and yes! Carl bellowed like a moose, holding a note like Pavarotti. Felix is the indie Jimi Hendrix and the band were tighter than a gnat's chuff. Starting with Purple Love Balloon they mixed their big hitters with some rarely played early stuff.<br />
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There was a fantastic middle section featuring Love in a Hollow Tree, Hey Boots and Robinson Crusoe. Rumours that Carl had finally lived up to the fat bastard taunts were wide of the mark. He looked more Vegas Elvis than Johnny Vegas. He was having a great time as were the rest of the band and the audience who in Cud gig-style were dancing on stage. I'll never forget three blokes singing "Things get worse when you get older", from I've Had It With Blondes, looking like three butchers who'd owned a shop for 20 years.<br />
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The four-song encore was a bit of wind-down as they'd done all the hard work, although they made Jethro Tull's Living in the Past sound like Mission Impossible. Yes Carl's voice and some of the songs do sound samey but there's no-one like Cud. You can hear snatches of Jonathan Richman, the Stones and the Weddoes but if they were a new band now Zane Lowe would be creaming his pants. Cud will be wowing the festivals next year (apparently). Can't wait! <b> </b><br />
<b>UPDATE May 2007:</b> Cud playing Glasto, third on bill on some smallstage behind Ned's Atomic Dustbin and Back to the Planet (lovely, strapping ginger singer!) Thanks to
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<li><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/urbanwide">Urbanwide on Flickr for photo of Cud at Leeds Cockpit</a></li>
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<a href="http://www.thejeffreylewissite.com/images/home_page/main.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.thejeffreylewissite.com/images/home_page/main.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">GIGS JULY - AUGUST 2006</span></b> <b>August 2006: A bumper crop of gigs over the past two months - most of them good, all of them interesting.</b> Highlight was <b>Jeffrey Lewis</b> (www.thejeffreylewissite.com, pictured -he really is this tall)at the Polish Catholic Centre in Sheffield (August 25). One man, one acoustic guitar, one comic book. Simple tunes which rattle along at a fair lick, crammed with laugh-out lyrics sung in a hangdog voice. There's something Woody Allen-esque about his longing for unavailable women, worries about his health and his self-deprecating cracks about himself. As he says, he's not even a glass half-empty person, he's glass half-full - half-full of nothing.<br />
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There's also some delightful rhymes - on one song about a dead pig he sings: "He's called Jonathan or Jason/It depends which way he's facin'" On three songs he holds up a comic book to accompany him. Two of the songs are B-movie stuff - one about a brain which grows bigger and bigger until it rampages through a city and another about a walking hand which offends a bus-full of nuns. The third is a dead straight history of communism in China! Support came from <b>Benjamin Weatherill </b>who looks like Bernard Sumner circa Joy Division but covers Irving Berlin and Nat King Cole in a high quavery voice while playing guitar and banjo. Fragile and folky.<br />
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Then there's <b>David Thomas Broughton </b>who, like several solo artistes, has one of those devices which means he can record a riff and play another on top. Early on this was a discordant mess but it gradually came more compelling as he wandered through the crowd, singing snatches of Leonard Cohen songs in a voice which sounded a blood-and-thunder preacher or the two aromatherapists in Vic and Bob. <a href="http://www.nellbryden.com/images/gallery_11.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.nellbryden.com/images/gallery_11.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><br />
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A fortnight earlier I was in Hebden Bridge for a beer festival at the Trades Club and there was an unexpected treat - <b>Nell Bryden </b>(www.nellbryden.com), pictured, a Brooklyn singer songwriter with a powerful soaring voice and some nice blues touches on her acoustic guitar. She looked completely at home with the hustle and bustle in the hall - children crying, dogs yawning and fat blokes creaking their chairs to get another Moorhouses from the bar (ahem). She even called me sweety when I bought her CD off her later. I don't think anyone's called me sweety before - mind you I was dressed as a Mars Bar at the time. It was also great to be in Hebden Bridge, one of those attractive, rather dour West Yorkshire towns enlivened by a splash of lefty-Glastonbury colour. Where other towns have Poundlands, Hebbo (as no-one calls it) has a CD shop full of 60s and 70s obscurities run by a jolly long-haired chap.<br />
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Where some schools are covered in grafitti, Hebden's is covered with a huge mural. What a pity there's no decent boozer. There are two pubs in the Good Beer Guide - one's a bit pokey, the other's restauranty. The Trades Club is about the best and you can sign up for a tantric astrology or clay oven making if you so desire. On August 7 I was in the Packhorse in Leeds, one of my regular haunts when I lived in the city as it put on some excellent gigs along with the Brudenell Social Club. There were four acts on that night - three were connected and appeared to be from the Brighton area. Anyone calling themselves <b>Kevin 2 Sheds </b>(www.threeface.co.uk/kevin2sheds) with an album called 'Mark Knopfler Taught Me Everything I Don’t Know' sounds brilliant. He looked like a young John Otway or Super Hans from Peep Show, but he was never more than mildly amusing. He was backed by the next act, <b>Pog</b> (www.worldofbeardandpog.co.uk/pogwash/menu.html) a brother and sister act on acoustic guitar and acoustic bass, who occasionally sounded like Violent Femmes without the lyrics to match.<br />
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Pog also supported MC for the night and third act <b>Philip Jeays </b>(www.jeays.com) who looks Peter Cook and sings occasionally laugh-out loud songs in a melodramatic Scott Walker/Jacques Brel stylee. The highlight was a song about being on his deathbed, listing all the people he hated with the chorus "Fxxx you!" He got the biggest cheers of the night. All three acts were light-hearted, knockabout stuff and the final act bucked the trend but was enthralling. <b> </b><br />
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<b>Simon Siddol </b>loves the minor chords and the big pauses on his electric piano, sounding like Lou Reed's Berlin occasionally, although Siddol has a deep, rich voice which sometimes veers off into a Tom Waits-rant. It was a pity he was on so late as many people had to leave during his set.<br />
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And finally <b>Shona Morrison</b>, Van's daughter, at the New Roscoe in Leeds. Too Alanis Morrisette for my liking. She was at her best when her band went bluesy and she did a lovely cover of her dad's song Sweet Thing. </div>
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<a href="http://www.gareth53.com/cud/images/press/thumb18.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.gareth53.com/cud/images/press/thumb18.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>CUD</b></span> <i>Head full of loose change</i> <b>July 2006: One of the great live bands of the 90s have released a greatest hits double and the band (minus guitarist Mike Dunphy) have reformed to play some gigs - their first as Cud for 11 years.</b> Carl Puttnam's voice was always a blessing and a curse for the band as it was easy to recognise one of their tunes, but as he barked out one note (but what a note!) some of the songs sounded very samey. This didn't seem to matter as much live where their relentless tunes were exhilarating, but the best songs were the ones where they varied the pace a bit - Robinson Crusoe, Love in a Hollow Tree, Hey Boots and Rich and Strange. They did five dates earlier this month (August) and have added five more, including two supporting "a chart act", and a final gig at Leeds Irish Centre on September 19. It's their homecoming gig as the band met at Leeds Poly, forming in 1985. They hit their stride at the end of the 80s and had two Top 30 hits in the early 90s with A&M but they were overshadowed somewhat by the Madchester scene - neither indie-trendy or mainstream enough - and split in 1995. I saw them at the Leadmill, in Sheffield, and Manchester International 2 and I think the NME gig review below is from that Manchester gig: <span style="font-family: "arial";">Udderly Fab-Tastic! Manchester International II, NME, 26 October 1991 'I LOVE you!' sings bespectacled spectacle Carl Puttnam, the Mick Hucknall you can trust, 'I luhuahu-u-uuuumhhhve yo-o-o-oul'. His cavernous diaphragm quakes, he woos the already-sodden audience with Tom Jones-ian lungpower and Engelbert-esque melodrama. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">Truly, we are in an Indie Las Vegas. And the Cud band are glittering.</span> <span style="font-family: "arial";">Outside is the coldest bastard rainy night In Manchester ever. In here, still largely unbeknownst to the music industry, Cud are happening. Warm your toes on that. A tangible buzz permeates the air; It's like Carter at the end of last year. Teenage Fanclub this summer, Kingmaker at Reading - yes, that exciting. You come to review a concert by a band, but the sheer swell of the expectant and genned-up crowd knocks you out. These Cud fans know something and, in elitist terms, we about to be taken away from them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">So, the important question, has The Man got Cud? Hell, no. They're A&M property now, sure, they're suddenly in the overtaking lane, and they can have WHATEVER THEY WANT (Later, Carl will delight In telling me how A&M spent a week trying to obtain the actual model of a knight an horseback, used by Anglia TV as their logo in the '70s, for the sleeve of 'Oh No Won't Do') - but the power and the possibility haven't made them giddy. It's a tighter four-piece that cook with gas.</span> <span style="font-family: "arial";">This evening, confident. cool. together, swaggering, laughing all the time - no longer will the shorthand cynics be able to write Cud off as udder-achieving amateurs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"> They're done with merely singing for their supper, nowadays they're playing for their life!</span> <span style="font-family: "arial";">Cud are the actual Idiot Joy Showband, Glam Rock for the '90s. 'Eau Water' opens the set, babbling insanely, stomping, showmanlike, on all yer near-sighted Indie codes. Cud dare to crowd-please, to exaggerate gestures, to clutch their frilly chest. And that Puttnam Voice - not for Carl the insipid, apologetic sniffing of Damon from Blur - when he goes for it he really blows for it! BOOM! BOOM! A resounding success. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"> A camp 'Roblnson Crusoe', a rousing 'Hey Boots', a charming 'Love In A Hollow Tree', and three now ones, 'Sometimes Rightly Sometimes Wrongly', 'Easy' and 'Pink Flamingo', which la a 'Norwegian Wood' made pulp.</span> <span style="font-family: "arial";">Stage divers crowd the skies, about three balloons bob from head to head, Cart chuckles "Heh heh heh" uncontrollably and tells a punter who's waving his boots In the air during 'Hey Boots' that "It's not about shoes!' Correct. an album in the New Year, America and The Drummer From Cud will leave cult status way behind him. We need stompalong, unashamed, OTT cabaret entertainment that shakes a log to Third World debt; we need Carl Puttnam In his rubbish beads; we need STARGAZERS II</span> <span style="font-family: "arial";">Simply Cud, honey. Andrew Collins</span> Picture and NME review:
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<li><a href="http://www.thecudband.com/">Official Cud website</a></li>
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<a href="http://www.thejeffreylewissite.com/guff-2.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.thejeffreylewissite.com/guff-2.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">JEFFREY LEWIS</span></b> <i>Shy New Yorker meets perfect woman. Blows it. Writes nervously-voiced, pleasingly-shambolic songs (and cartoons) about the experience</i> Video from Fortmark Films:
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<li><a href="http://www.fortmarkfilms.com/">Posters</a></li>
Cartoon:
<li><a href="http://www.roughtraderecords.com/jl.html">The making of Chelsea Hotel Oral Sex Song</a></li>
Source/picture:
<li><a href="http://www.thejeffreylewissite.com/">Official Jeffrey Lewis website</a></li>
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<a href="http://members.aol.com/olandem/under_review.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://members.aol.com/olandem/under_review.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">VELVET UNDERGROUND</span></b> <b>June 2006: You wait years for the first ever Velvets DVD and two come along at once - Velvet Redux, a live concert from Paris in 1993, and Under Review, featuring interviews with Mo Tucker, Doug Yule and some rare Warhol footage.</b> The Velvets reunion is seen as a failure by most of the mainstream media. As usual with films and music, they all tend to agree with each other and because one or two journalists criticised the reunion at the time it's slated by others now. If the band had been inferior to their 1960s live LPs and bootlegs then I'd agree, but you just have to listen to Heroin and Waiting for the Man, arguably their key songs, and realise they had recaptured their peak form and unique abilities - tub thumping drums, relentless guitars, droning viola, pounding piano and Reed's lyrics.<br />
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I was at the Wembley gig in the same year (Jarvis Cocker was sitting nearby!) and this DVD brought it all back - the thrill of seeing the four of them together and the exhilarating versions of some of my favourite songs with subtle variations. Cale sings vocals on Waiting for the Man and adds a lovely violin part to Pale Blue Eyes. Morrison's lead guitar work shines on Rock n Roll and White Light White Heat. The choice of songs was my only complaint then, and it is now - no Run Run Run, What Goes On, Foggy Notion and especially Sister Ray. They could have replaced Hey Mr Rain, Beginning To See The Light and dreadful newie, Coyote. Under Review doesn't look so promising - it's mainly journo talking heads with new interviews from Mo and Doug, some Warhol film, bits from the 1993 concert and from the Reed/Cale/Nico reunion in 1972.<br />
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But it's pretty good, especially in the way it analyses the songs (how Waiting for the Man originally sounded slow and Dylan-esque). There's also some suitably extravagant journo claims ("Rock music started with Dylan and the Velvets") and some interesting arguments - Cale's departure benefited the band because they were able to concentrate on the songs, and the third LP was the best (Rubbish! Apart from What Goes on, Pale Blue Eyes and Some Kinda Love it's bobbins). <b>Gigs</b> Velvets' support bands included: 1968: MC5, Canned Heat (supported), Flamin Groovies, Chicago, The Nazz feat. Todd Rundgren (supported), Tim Buckley (supported), Sly and the Family Stone 1969: Grateful Dead (supported), Chicago festival (feat Byrds, Muddy Waters, Fleetwood Mac), Nice, The Allman Brothers
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<li><a href="http://home.aol.com/olandem/vu.html">Gig list and picture from Velvet Underground website</a></li>
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">STERLING MORRISON</span></b> <i>Velvets guitar ace</i> <b>Sterling's favourite musicians (in 1969):</b> The Byrds, The Kinks, Dr. John, Quicksilver Messenger Service. <b>But he didn't like:</b> Creedence Clearwater Revival ("monotonous") Van Dyke Parks (MacArthur Park, Beach Boys producer) "I dismiss him summarily. I don't care what he does. I don't think he has the credentials. Whatever he's supposed to be doing - he isn't good enough." Frank Zappa: "Zappa is incapable of writing lyrics. He is shielding his musical deficiencies by prolelytizing all these sundry groups that he appeals to. He just throw enough dribble into those songs, I don't know, I don't like their music." And MC5 "I think seldom of the MC5." (From interview with Greg Barrios, Fusionmagazine) <b>And in another interview, in 1980, he doesn't like New Wave:</b> Interviewer: Do you think New Wave is new, or is it just a rehashing of old stuff? Morrison: I'm afraid to say what I think about New Wave. Interviewer: Don't be. Go ahead. Please. Morrison: I'm worried a whole lot about it. People that have known me know that the major bitch in my life has been between rock 'n' roll and folk singers. That's it. Interviewer:Is New Wave rock 'n' roll or is it folk? Morrison: I'm afraid it's folk singing and this pains me. <b>Great quote:</b> Why do you have such an aversion toward people who talk to you? 'Cause I read books! <b>On Lou Reed:</b> "Lou really did want to have a whole lot of credit for the songs. So on nearly all the albums we gave it to him. It kept him happy. He got the rights to all the songs on Loaded, so now he's credited with being the absolute and singular genius of the Underground, which is not true." He loves Hendrix (who liked the Velvets), hates Dylan <b>and lays into Zappa, again:</b>"If you told Frank Zappa to eat shit in public, he'd do it if it sold records." (Interview by Nick Modern, Sluggo magazine) <b>Doug Yule describes how Sterling left the band in 1971</b> (from Velvet Underground fanzine, Fierce Pup Productions and Sal Mercuri. Picture from this source) "Sterling is standing in the airport in Houston. Next to him is an empty suitcase, a fact at that moment known only to himself. He stops the progress of the group towards the gate with the announcement that he will not be returning to New York with us, he is going to Austin in a few days to begin a fellowship there, to return to school and complete his education. "This is the last time I will ever see Sterling. I will not know until he dies twenty five years later that he acquired a degree in Medieval Studies and picked up a tugboat captain's license."
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<li><a href="http://home.aol.com/olandem/vu.html">Interviews from Velvet Underground website</a></li>
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<a href="http://img266.imageshack.us/img266/1450/thefall2iz.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://img266.imageshack.us/img266/1450/thefall2iz.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 320px;"></a> <span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>THE FALL: BANANA SPLIT</b></span><i>Scowling curmudgeon in Oxfam leathers Busts up with band in banana republic </i> <b>June 2006: The Fall have split up on a US tour for the second time.</b> Three members of the band flew out of the country after their May 7 gig was cut short when a member of the support band chucked a banana at Smith and he ran off stage to fight him in the car park. Three members of labelmates Cairo Gang (described as Chicago dirge rockers) were drafted in for the next gig two days later and are staying as permanent members. Their UK debut will at The Fall's 30th anniversary on June 10. Here's what happened, according to Cole Coonce, from LA City Beat: Tour reports were rife with incidents of Smith pouring a beer on his tour manager's noggin and also using his head as an ashtray, all while the poor tosser drove the van down the interstate and tried not to crash. Moreover, at that night's show (May 7), a member of the opening act assaulted Smith with a half-eaten banana and the band played on while MES chased the banana-assassin into the parking lot, where a scuffle ensued. This mayhem, coupled with Smith's notoriously fascistic task-making, had forced “the lads” (as he called his backing group) to skulk away under the cover of darkness and catch an aeroplane back to Old Sod. Smith and wife/synthesist sidekick Elena Poulou endeavored to fulfill contractual obligations and finish the tour. The Fall's record label solicited as replacements a trio of alt-dirge rockers out of Chicago (The Cairo Gang), who were hot-lapped into San Diego in time for the Fall's booking at the House of Blues, and – ka-pow ka-pow ka-pow – quick as a repeating rifle, the notion of the Fall being a platoon system was, in fact, realized. Luckily for the new lads most of the Fall's latest songs are mere exercises in two-note rock riffs pounded into a repetitive groove, which serves as a foundation for Smith to free-associate lyrically, with gems such as “Dolly Parton and Lord Byron/They said patriotism is the last refuge/But now it's me” or haikus to that effect. Smith is a chaos-monger and a lush, and when the chips are down, he will find a way to turn over the card table. This night (May 13 Knitting Factory, LA) was true to form, as the joint was packed like a bowl of sweaty oatmeal with a legion of fervent Fall disciples, who waited for the gospel from their maniacal messiah. Instead of a pointed, galvanizing performance that would send the faithful to postmodern Valhalla, Smith showed up drunk, staggering and slurring through a rambling collection of dirges. For the duration, he was squint-eyed sauced, stumbling and unintelligible. The “band” struggled to find its cues and vainly tried to follow his meanderings. Methinks “the lads” had the right idea when they deserted their leader in Phoenix. <i>This, and the flyer for the LA after-show party, is from the unofficial Fall website, formerly the official Fall website until Mr Smith took exception to the message board earlier this year. He gave an interview to an LA paper before the gig, praising the (old) band - "They're very on form".</i></div>
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<i> </i> <a href="http://www.go-betweens.org.uk/gwmclennan.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.go-betweens.org.uk/gwmclennan.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">GO-BETWEEN MCLENNAN DIES</span></b> <b>May 2006: Founder member of The Go-Betweens Grant McLennan has died in his sleep, apparently of a heart attack. He was just 48.</b> According to the Sydney Morning Herald and The Australian, he was planning a large party at his Brisbane home on the night he died (May 6) and had gone for a lie-down as he was feeling unwell. He was later found dead by party guests. The Go-Betweens most recent album had been their most successful, EMI had bought ther back catalogue providing him with financial security and he was in love with a lass and about to be engaged. He formed the band in 1977 at university with songwriting partner Robert Forster who said: "The last six months was the happiest I had ever known him." They released their first LP in 1981, split in 1989 and reformed in 2000. Pic from Go Betweens website <span style="font-size: 130%;"><b> </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>MRS PILGRIMM</b></span><i>Layers of metronomic cello </i> <i>topped off with sauce</i> New LP: Alone Queen Downloads:<span style="font-family: "arial";"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial";"> </span>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial";"><a href="http://www.hinterhoff.com/music/mrs_pilgrimm/tickle_it_by_mrs_pilgrimm.mp3">Tickle it lovely</a></span></li>
<span style="font-family: "arial";"> </span>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial";"><a href="http://www.hinterhoff.com/music/mrs_pilgrimm/drop_my_name_by_mrs_pilgrimm.mp3">Drop my name</a></span></li>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">
<li><a href="http://www.hinterhoff.com/music/mrs_pilgrimm/gotta%20get%20down.MP3">Gotta get down</a></li>
Picture/More info:
<li><a href="http://www.mrspilgrimm.de/">Official Mrs Pilgrimm website</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.hinterhoff.com/">Her record label</a></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";">
<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">MISTY'S BIG ADVENTURE</span></b> <i>Set the controls to jaunty</i> Downloads from SL Records:
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial";"><a href="http://www.slrecords.net/mistysdownl.html">Two songs and a video</a></span></li>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">
Videos from Fortmark Films:
<li><a href="http://www.fortmarkfilms.com/">Story of Love/Hey Man</a></li>
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Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1142371117235804242014-12-17T09:40:00.000+00:002019-09-12T15:57:24.061+01:00COMEDY<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>OH RIIIIIK!</b></span><br />
You could say Rik Mayall only shouted and pulled faces - but what shouting, what faces!<br />
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He was a naturally funny comedian who made you laugh as soon as you saw him: he deserves to be mentioned alongside greats such as Tommy Cooper.<br />
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Rik was like a human cartoon character, pulling exaggerated expressions and stealing almost every scene he was in - even alongside great actors/characters in the Young Ones and Blackadder.<br />
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His work in the Young Ones and Dangerous Brothers was thrilling and often unexpected, while he played a more bit part role in the Comic Strip - his David Coverdale-esque, fruity voice in Bad News was probably his finest moment in that series.<br />
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For me, the Kevin Turvey sketches were among his best work and are perhaps overlooked now - the expressions, the silly wordplay (Kevin's 'ere/ear) and the silly voice.<br />
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RIP Rik<br />
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Kevin Turvey: <br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CpHEqxy1jM">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CpHEqxy1jM </a><br />
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Young Ones: People's Poet<br />
<a href="https://www.blogger.com/goog_1830194814"><br />
</a> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE2_uqLpBXU">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE2_uqLpBXU</a><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Edinburgh Festival reviews: Tony Law, Bridget Christie, Ben Verth, Rodney Bewes, Otto Kuhnle</span></b><br />
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Sept 12: I haven’t been to the Edinburgh Festival for at least 15 years and I’d forgotten how wonderful it is. <br />
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I love the trawl through the huge programme, the planning of a schedule that will let you see as much as possible in two days, the unexpected delight of a comedian you’ve never heard of, and the city itself with its beautiful austere buildings and steep climbs.<br />
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Me and Mrs O managed five shows in all which was just about enough when you factor in booze, food and the need of a sit-down in a pub or cafe after all the walking.<br />
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I wanted to see comedians I’d never seen before who had, at least, a half-decent review. We whittled it down to Tony Law, pictured, and Bridget Christie (mainly because Stewart Lee recommended them in a Guardian article), a Best Of show of music, magic and comedy and Ben Verth. <br />
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We were tempted by Barbara Nice (played by the Phoenix Nights actress), Simon Munnery, Michael Redmond, Hanks and Conran and David O’Doherty.<br />
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As for theatre we ended up seeing Translunar Paradise and Rodney Bewes reading Dylan Thomas stories.<br />
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Tony Law was a wonderfully daft, slightly manic, cartoony fella of indistinct accent. He looked like a children’s presenter who’d been left on a desert island, with his stripy top, braces, silly haircut and pirate-y beard. He told tales of his uncle the dragon in prison and pretended that Ho Chi Minh was in the audience.<br />
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Daftness was the theme of Bridget Christie’s act. Her inflatable costume and huge donkey ears are hilarious and Christie uses them in a show which is deliberately and endearingly shambolic - certain themes are pursued and forgotten about. You’ve never seen - or heard - anything like the show’s ending.<br />
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Endearingly shambolic may be a bit harsh to describe Rodney Bewes but his show could never be described as slick and polished and you really warmed to him for that. <br />
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I was one of about 20 people in a grim lecture hall watching him read Dylan Thomas stories, largely read in an English accent and mostly in a monotone that reminded me of an auctioneer. Bewes occasionally had to consult his script and often stepped forward for asides to the audience. He shouted ‘Bravo!’ at the end of each story and regularly plugged his programmes which he promised to sign, describing himself as a sixties icon. <br />
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There were times when he didn’t do justice to the stories but he was always interesting to watch. Next show should be Rodney Bewes: My Story.<br />
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Ben Verth is a warm and engaging comic who bases an hour-long show, Alsatian and Chips, on what he was doing on significant days in his life (10,000th day, 5,000th day for example). It’s a great idea and he gets plenty of laughs with his routine on Dr Who fandom, for example. <br />
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It’s reminiscent something Daniel Kitson would do, although Verth’s show needed to be shorter and tighter and some material, related to the show’s title for instance, was thrown away.<br />
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But he was better than most of the identikit, slick young things on BBC3’s Edinburgh show, some of whom looked as though they were getting TV exposure after only their third or fourth gig.<br />
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The highlight of Best of the Fest was Otto Kuhnle, a German fella who looks a bit like Jacques Tati and reminded me of Tommy Cooper with his silly tricks and bagpipe impressions.<br />
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Translunar Paradise was one of those shows I only see at the Fringe – a play with mime and masks about death and loneliness. Technically good but a bit mannered for my taste and I couldn’t understand what some of the mimes were about.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>STEWART LEE: at Sheffield Lyceum</b></span><br />
<b>Like a magician who reveals his tricks, I thought Lee’s book (How I Escaped My Certain Fate) about his stand-up routines and the fact and fiction in them would lessen the impact of future shows.</b><br />
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Not at all – it makes him even more intriguing. <br />
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For example, the show was being filmed and we were told if we nipped out while he was on, we wouldn’t be allowed back in. Lee started a tale about his dad the cardboard salesman and a woman walked out. He used her exit in his patter, dropping the story about his dad, and the woman came back in 30 seconds later.<br />
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Was she a plant? Did his dad really sell cardboard?<br />
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Lee later explained that certain bits of the show were true and some made up. But even then you were in doubt. <br />
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He kept reviewing parts of the show and never made it easy for himself – ‘grumpily’ and ‘patronisingly’ spurning new fans, ‘agonising’ over easy laughs, saying the show was ‘about nothing’, avoiding easy laughs in a politics section with daft references to Scooby Doo, mocking the trendy young comedians – (the Russells - I think he was really mocking them).<br />
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There were shades of Daniel Kitson in the way he almost apologised for cheap gags and easy laughs and Ted Chippington in the way he occasionally spoke in a monotone.<br />
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According to Lee, people in the stalls were his real fans while people in the balconies only came because he was on TV. Another clever move which made the stallees feel good and the balconites wishing they were in with the in crowd.<br />
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All this works because he has great presence and calm authority – something I particularly remember when I first saw him 20 years ago – as well as superb timing and delivery, and a hilarious, deadpan face. He may be desperate to escape the ‘traditional’ ways of making people laugh but he uses all the techniques of the great comedians.<br />
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<a href="http://www.thelowry.com/Images/Brochure35/Corrie_new_Main.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.thelowry.com/Images/Brochure35/Corrie_new_Main.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 250px;"></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CORRIE!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 11: Billed as a tribute to 50 years of Coronation Street, this is a very funny piss-take of the show by one of its writers, Jonathan Harvey.</span><br />
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The play is centred on Ken and Gail and their disastrous love lives - recurring themes throughout the show's history - and features regular appearances from Corrie greats Ena, Elsie, Hilda, Bet and Raquel.<br />
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A cast of five perform 55 characters at breakneck speed and there are some wonderful impressions - Gail's bobbling head and her reassurance to the audience that her latest fella (usually a psycho) is a good bloke, Ken's knack of streeeetching his vowels when he's angry or stressed, and Steve McDonald identified quickly as the bloke who rocks back and forth.<br />
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Most of the storylines and chunks of plot are from pre-2000 with some stories condensed into a few words or in case of the recent factory fire - a ballet.<br />
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The sets are wonderful too - a curtain with a drawing of a tram knocks down Alan Bradley, while Stephanie Beacham's character sails across the stage in a full-sized cardboard barge.<br />
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Inevitably, with so much to cover, some favourite characters are absent - so no Albert Tatlock, Curly, Reg, Mavis, Derek or Betty Turpin.<br />
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But it's wonderful stuff and well worth seeing, even if you haven't watched the show for years. In fact it's so good I've started watching Corrie again.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">KEVIN MCALEER'S OWLS ROUTINE</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 11: One of the funniest and most original routines I've ever seen was by Kevin McAleer in Edinburgh in the mid-80s - a deadpan comic with a daft slideshow who left huge pauses so you never knew what was coming next.</span><br />
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He's reviving his owls routine in London next month in a 'celebration of alternative comedy of 30 years ago' organised by Stewart Lee (his book reminded me of McAleer).<br />
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I saw McAleer in a triple bill with Oscar McLennan, whose act was like something out of a Samuel Beckett play - slightly sinister, full of pauses (again), but absolutely enthralling. Plus Simon Fanshawe - a manic and more conventional comic.<br />
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McAleer is back touring again after a stint as a bus driver. He’ll be reviving his owls routine at the At Last The 1981 Show on May 29. A celebration of the alternative comedy of 30 years ago curated by Stewart Lee and Paul Jackson at the Royal Festival Hall featuring Nigel Planer, The Oblivion Boys, Norman Lovett, Alexei Sayle, Arnold Brown, The Frank Chickens and others<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FMjCB5-xw8&feature=youtu.be">Owls</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><br />
CORNY JOKES</span><span style="font-size: 130%;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;">(FROM THE WORD WEBSITE)</span></span><br />
I just got a job at a zoo feeding the polar bears. I always inject them with a local anaesthetic before I go into their enclosure. I find that there's safety in numb bears.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Friend of mine worked in a helium factory.<br />
His colleagues spoke highly of him.</span><br />
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Packet of Skittles walked into a bar and says, "I'm the hardest packet of sweets in town. I could have any other packet of sweets in a fight; get me a pint NOW!"<br />
With that, a packet of Hall's eucalyptus sweets walks in, and the packet of Skittles hides behind a chair.<br />
The packet of Hall's sweets orders a pint, drinks it, and walks out, while all the time the packet of Skittles hides behind the chair.<br />
When the packet of Hall's leaves, the barman turns to the packet of Skittles and says, "What was all that about? I thought you said you were the hardest packet of sweets in town?"<br />
"Yeah," replies the packet of Skittles, "But I'm not messing with him; he's menthol."<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Why did the scarecrow get the MBE?<br />
He was out standing in his field.</span><br />
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Two Cockney cowboys in the desert. One says to the other "bleedin 'ell mate, I'm starvin! Where can I get some grub round 'ere?"<br />
His pal replies "if you go abaht 2 miles up that way you'll find a bacon tree, grab us a few rashers off the branches an' we'll 'ave a nice fry-up".<br />
Half an hour later the first cowboy returns in a bedraggled state with and arrow in his hat and covered in blood. He looks at his pal and shouts,<br />
"Flippin 'eck you prune, that weren't a bacon tree up there, that was an AMBUSH!"<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">A chicken walks into a library, walks up to the librarian and says "Bkk!" so the librarian gives the chicken a book.<br />
The chicken goes to the library the next day, walks up to the librarian and says "Bkk! Bkk!" so the librarian gives the chicken two books.<br />
The chicken goes to the library the day after, too, walks up to the librarian and says "Bkk! Bkk! Bkk!" so the librarian gives the chicken three books.<br />
Intrigued by the chicken, the librarian decides to follow him. She follows the chicken through the town centre to the park and there, at the edge of the lake, she sees the chicken handing books to a frog.<br />
The frog looks at each book in turn before tossing it aside and saying "Reddit! Reddit!"</span><br />
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The world-renowned expert on wasps, their habitat and the sound they make was passing a second hand record shop and on display, in the window, was an old vinyl record entitled ‘The World’s Wasps And The Sound They Make’.<br />
Intrigued he went inside and enquired about the record. The record shop owner asked if he would like to hear a track off the record. ‘Certainly’ said the Prof.<br />
The shop owner put on track 1.<br />
The Prof listened to the track intently and shook his head, ’I am sorry but I don’t recognise any of those wasps at all.<br />
So the shop owner played him track 2, and 3, and 4, and 5.<br />
Always with the same answer’ I just don’t recognise any of these wasps.’<br />
The record shop owner took the disc of the turntable and exclaimed ‘ Ah!, that explains it, why you didn’t recognise any of them. I was playing the bee side.’<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">I was at the cash pint yesterday and an old lady asked if I wouldn't mind checking her balance - so I pushed her over<br />
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A farmer and his wife woke one winter’s morning and noticed all the cows in the field had frozen solid.<br />
Then out of nowhere an old lady appeared over the hill, walked up to each cow and patted them. As she did so, the cows slowly started to come to life.<br />
"Who was that?!" asked the farmer.<br />
"I'm not sure..." said his wife, "... but I think it was Thora Hird."<br />
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<a href="http://www.stewartlee.co.uk/presspack/stand2008_press_pic-small.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.stewartlee.co.uk/presspack/stand2008_press_pic-small.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 272px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 217px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">LEE, PEACE, NOBBS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">April 11: I've been thinking about the mechanics of comedy and writing this month, thanks to one thrilling book (</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Stewart Lee) </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">and two great talks (Davids Peace and Nobbs).</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><br />
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Stewart Lee has written the superb How I Escaped My Certain Fate. I'm a sucker for books about what makes comedians tick and have read umpteen biographies (a lot of which appear to have been adapted for BBC4 dramas). This is the best book I've read about comedy.<br />
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Lee may look like someone who would disparage you for not knowing Biff Bang Pow B-sides in alphabetical order and his ferocious sarcasm sometimes takes your breath away, but who can blame him?<br />
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I saw him at his first Edinburgh Show in 1994. I thought he was one of the most original and fascinating comedians I'd seen - his slow pace and quiet delivery left me on tenterhooks. So it was a real shock to discover in his book that he gave up stand-up in 2001 as he was failing to make any money from his many live shows and Tv appearances.<br />
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Lee got some success from Jerry Springer the Opera (which was praised by the mainstream Catholic press) but was then scuppered by a relatively small group which takes pride in judging others.<br />
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Then he fell ill and had to undergo some rather intrusive surgery, outlined in the book and on stage.<br />
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So who can blame him for being so bitter. But he is remarkably restrained about all of this and the book is not a self-pitying rant, rather a transcript of three shows with previews of each show and footnotes so large they sometimes take up a page or more.<br />
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Tony Hancock's comic career supposedly nosedived when he started to analyse what made him funny, but Lee is such an intelligent and funny writer that his analysis really helps his comedy.<br />
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It's fascinating to learn how he chose a particular line and his comments on whether something works or not. He gives due credit to people like Simon Munnery and Ted Chippington for inspiring him and it's great to see people like Kevin McAleer and Oscar McLennan mentioned too. I saw both in the mid-80s and I've never seen anything like them before or since.<br />
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Lee is careful to point out what's true and what's not true in his act. He has a routine about Joe Pasquale using a joke invented by Michael Redmond, a deadpan moustachioed comedian, best known for being Father Stone in Father Ted (and a lovely friendly fella at my sixth and final stand-up try-out in 1986).<br />
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But interestingly, as Lee reveals in the book, he introduces the Pasquale story by slightly changing a true incident. A nurse involved in Lee's endoscopy tells him: 'You don't look like a comedian...a comedian makes you want to laugh as soon as you look at them like Joe Pasquale'. The nurse actually said Tommy Cooper but Lee writes in his footnotes: 'I didn't have a bit about Tommy Cooper'. (Routine below)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/h2CGryAkxkM" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
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I was reminded about truth and fiction when I went to see David Peace during the Huddersfield Literature Festival. He read from his novels based on true events - the miners' strike (G84) and Leeds United and Brian Clough (The Damned United).<br />
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Like Lee, Peace repeats words and phrases to build up a rhythm. And, like Lee, his prose comes alive when read aloud.<br />
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Answering questions from festival director Michael Stewart and the audience, Peace came across as intelligent, funny and caring (about how real people are treated in his novels for example).<br />
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To sum up:<br />
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After the third of his Tokyo novels, he intends to write a novel about Harold Wilson and the Huddersfield Town team who won the league title in the 1920s and then a novel about Geoffrey Boycott.<br />
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He thought the first Red Riding TV show was better than the first Red Riding book but didn't like the portrayal of Don Revie in the film adaptation of The Damned United.<br />
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He moved back from Japan to Yorkshire because his mum was ill.<br />
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He feels publishers and agents should look beyond creative writing graduates.<br />
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Also at the excellent Literature Festival was David Nobbs. A lovely man - funny about others and himself. He started as a journalist and a misprint was in his first story.<br />
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His first gag appeared on That Was The Week That Was after he rang David Frost with an idea and Frost sent over a taxi so Nobbs could talk to him.<br />
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Nobbs, who wrote for Les Dawson among others, said Dawson was a lovely man and remembered one of his favourite routines where Dawson was immersed in a tank of water in bagpipes and a kilt - Jock Cousteau.<br />
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<a href="http://www.litfest.org.uk/images/decorations/poster%20thumb.png"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.litfest.org.uk/images/decorations/poster%20thumb.png" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 200px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 142px;"></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">DAVID NOBBS STARS IN...HUDDERSFIELD LITERATURE FESTIVAL</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 11: A corking line-up for this year's Huddersfield Literature Festival - David Peace, Simon Armitage, AL Kennedy, Melvin Burgess and David Nobbs.</span><br />
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Nobbs is best known for Reggie Perrin, but also wrote for Les Dawson, Tommy Cooper and Ken Dodd, among others. He's also a terrific Tweeter.<br />
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A Bit of a Do with David Nobbs is at the Byram Arcade on March 20, 4pm £8/£6 concessions. This is a Tea Party and the price includes refreshments.<br />
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The theme of the festival this year is adaptation. There's a specially commissioned film of a Simon Armitage poem alongside his event, at Huddersfield University, Creative Arts Building, Phipps Hall, March 19, 8pm £8/£6 concessions, as well as a number of specially commissioned song adaptations from a variety of poets.<br />
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David Peace is in conversation at Huddersfield University, Creative Arts Building, Phipps Hall on March 17, 9pm £8/£6 concessions.<br />
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For other events, see Lit Fest<a href="http://www.litfest.org.uk/index.htm"> website</a><br />
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<br />
<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/VYvCIrX-Zlc?fs=1&hl=en_GB"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/VYvCIrX-Zlc?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> At last the full version of one of <b>Les Dawson's </b>best routines is on YouTube. A corny joke wonderfully told - great faces, great timing, great delivery, even the corpsing, which can be annoying, is funny. <a href="http://www.shuttleworths.co.uk/downloads/sheep.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.shuttleworths.co.uk/downloads/sheep.jpg" style="display: block; height: 150px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 200px;"></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;"> </span></b> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;">JOHN SHUTTLEWORTH REVIEW - HUDDERSFIELD</span></b> <b>Nov 10: I always thought John Shuttleworth was one of those comedy characters who was naturally funny, so it didn't particular matter about new material - every oof, tut, speccy squint, mention of reservoirs and two margarines was enough.</b> Well that theory was severely tested at the Lawrence Batley Theatre, in Huddersfield.<br />
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For while this was a funny night which attracted more laughs and applause than most live or TV shows, Shuttleworth's creator Graham Fellows was not firing on all cylinders and seemed to be a bit distracted at times, with the sound and with his lines, and relied too much on old material. It was a step back in time to shows of the nineties where there were more songs and speeches, no other characters (they were promised in the preview) and no overriding theme.<br />
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The show was called No More Rolls, thanks to a Ken Worthington blunder - it should have been No Morals and an outline of John juggling rolls in a Blue Note jazz style was the backdrop. But apart from a mention of how the emergence of the bap had seen off the roll and 'peter bread', this theme never really took off. In a short first half of 35 minutes, John was just warming up when the interval came. There had been a couple of awkward pauses and Austin Ambassador, an encore song, unusually appeared in the first half as though he was trying to get the audience going (he didn't have to, they loved it). The phone conversations with Mary and Ken didn't really work - too loud and slightly out of time. This was still an enjoyable night - the mention of how Vim was hidden so children wouldn't confuse it with a kaleidoscope was a highlight. But it could have done with an appearance from Goole builder Dave to break things up. It's still early in the tour so perhaps Graham is feeling his way a bit with the show or likes to shake it up a bit every night. But for people who give a laugh of recognition when they hear the phrases Dronfield by-pass and Oughterbridge Library, perhaps he should have been a little more adventurous in Huddersfield. <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">OOOFF! JOHN SHUTTLEWORTH'S NEW TOUR</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jul 10: A Man With No More Rolls is coming to Huddersfield (Lawrence Batley, November 15), Wakefield (Theatre Royal, November 17), Manchester (Dancehouse, November 26/27), Barnsley Civic (December 11). There's a tryout in York City Screen on October 27 and a gig in Sheffield next March.</span> Here'a a preview of his show: John decides it's time to instruct the nation in moral matters.<br />
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Well, he would have done, if next door neighbour and sole agent Ken Worthington hadn’t mistyped the show's title, turning 'morals' into 'more rolls'. John's reaction to this mishap is philosophical. At least now his new show won't consider the nation's moral decline, but the vast range of exotic breads appearing in the high street, as the humble roll fades into obscurity. Paninis, ciabattas, pittas, plus the peshwari naan which John recently enjoyed a bite of ("It absolutely blew me away"), inspiring his exciting new ballad: How's your nan? "How's your nan? How's your nan?" is more pressing a question than Finding out about the state of an unleavened bread - that's what said "How's your nan? How's your nan?"<br />
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Better find out while you can Go and see her before you hear she's dead! Also, in Get the Volvo,Val, John will re-examine the tragic 'moral' tale of Eric Blackburn ("no relation to the DJ") who crashed his hang glider 15 years ago on the Derbyshire moors. As well as these and other new songs, expect old favourites like 2 Margarines, Eggs and Gammon, and I Can't Go Back To Savoury Now hammered out on John's trusty Yamaha keyboard. Also, special guests - the concreter from Goole, Dave Tordoff and misanthropic Midlands media lecturer, Brian Appleton. <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/dorset/content/images/2006/04/24/frank_sidebottom_2_203_203x152.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.bbc.co.uk/dorset/content/images/2006/04/24/frank_sidebottom_2_203_203x152.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 252px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 303px;"></a> <span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">FRANK SIDEBOTTOM/CHRIS SIEVEY RIP</span></span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jun 10: It was a real shock to hear of Chris Sievey/Frank Sidebottom's death. He was a truly original and funny comedian.</span> Until a few days ago, he was sounding quite chipper on Twitter about his cancer.<br />
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The first lot of treatment was going well and he was planning gigs and Timperley tours as he marked 25 years as a 'semi-professional' performer. But over the past few days he complained about feeling poorly and on June 21 he collapsed at home and died shortly afterwards. He was 54. I first saw Frank about 20 years at the St Helens Citadel, funnily enough about the time of another World Cup, and Frank had produced a Roger Milla puppet in honour of the Cameroon star of the 1990 tournament.<br />
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Frank was one of those comedians, like John Shuttleworth and Ted Chippington, who was deliberately amateurish and shambolic. If you found this funny, then almost everything he did was funny and his regular songs and catchphrases never became tiresome. Of course, if you found this irritating, you'd never get him. I think he particularly appealed to a northern sense of humour with his silliness. His LPs and TV shows were patchy but he was at best live.<br />
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He had the ability to reduce every song, from I Should Be So Lucky to Anarchy in the UK, to some knock-kneed cheesy pub singalong. Then there was his use and abuse of his puppet Little Frank, his honking Manchester voice, the way he ended every song with 'You know it did, it really did', his hands-on-hips poses and his fibreglass head - like an overgrown schoolboy with his hair combed by his mum. And there were also the football and Timperley references - Wild Thing In Timperley, Timperley Sunset, Born In Timperley, Je T'aime Wild Thing In Timperley, Last Train To Timperley, Timperley 909 1909, Oh Timperley and this one, Mull of Timperley: <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/Ka75vhSh49o&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/Ka75vhSh49o&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> There's a campaign to get Frank's new World Cup song Three Shirts On My Line to number one. Yes! (From one of his last performances) A fundraising campaign to pay for his funeral raised over £20 grand. It will also help pay for Frank's Fantastic Send-off' which is at Castlefield Arena, Manchester, on July 8, from 7pm. Videos, guests, tears and laughter promised. <object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/sxcS3OUrgUk&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/sxcS3OUrgUk&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object> RIP Frank/Chris <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">THE FUNNIEST THING EVER?</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jun 10: I've always loved Beaker from the Muppets - the boggly eyes and expression of panic - but I've never heard him sing. But here he is with two of my other favourite Muppets, Swedish Chef and Animal. Beaker's sideward glances and squeeking are hilarious.</span> <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/OCbuRA_D3KU&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/OCbuRA_D3KU&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;">SAD NEWS ABOUT FRANK SIDEBOTTOM AND THE LANCASHIRE HOTPOTS</span></b> <b>May 10: Is it wrong to smile about someone's name even when they've died? Willie Eckerslike of the Lancashire Hotpots has passed away suddenly. </b> I'm sorry, it's such a great name and the drummer's brought a lot of pleasure with his band. His real name was Tom McGrath. RIP Tom. <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/xilOgjeEwPg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/xilOgjeEwPg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> It's not quite so serious for Frank, although he has got cancer - a tumour in his chest. He told the Manchester Evening News, in character as Frank: "I am OK and I am going to be OK. It is just bobbins. I have had worse. I had a cold over Christmas and that was worse. "I have not seen any photos of the tumour but it has got smooth hair like me." He'll get better, you know he will, he really will. PS Frank has painted a picture of himself bald/post-chemo to raise money for cancer charities. <a href="http://twitgoo.com/wln9h">Bald Frank</a> <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/NeEDsOm_aIM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/NeEDsOm_aIM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>BRIAN GLOVER AND OTHER GREAT WRESTLERS</b></span> <b>Mar 10: The news that Sheffield United used the football match from Kes as a team-bonding exercise reminded me what a great comic actor Brian Glover was.</b> He had a hard man's face, but you could never take him seriously because his features were so mobile. He also had a honking Yorkshire voice, like a Dalek from Barnsley. But he was also a great physical comedian. Before he became an actor, he was wrestler Leon Arris, 'the man from Paris', something I discovered on the two superb Best of ITV Wrestling DVDs. 'Arris' takes on Les Kellet, another comic Yorkshire wrestler but, according to his contemporaries, a genuine hardman. He's got an unwavering stare. You wouldn't mess with him. Other treats on the DVds are Mick McManus - Max Wall with boot polish hair - and Giant Haystacks, lolling in the corner, scowling at the audience and squashing opponents. <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/GcBksyTkwQM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/GcBksyTkwQM&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/3_PFJMRn72I&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/3_PFJMRn72I&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/O_NLozGE1sw&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/O_NLozGE1sw&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/C2QEm028lKA&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/C2QEm028lKA&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BRILLIANT IMPRESSIONIST 1</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 10: Only 15 months after it first appeared on YouTube I've discovered Darren Farley, who does fantastic impressions of Rafa Benitez, Stevie Gerrard, Jamie Carragher and Michael Owen.</span> You don't have to like football to find them funny. <object height="340" width="360"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/3x5Mqges1Zg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/3x5Mqges1Zg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="340"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BRILLIANT IMPRESSIONIST 2</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 10: Another Liverpool connection, Peter Serafinowicz's take on The Beatles. His new DVD's just out but he's a joy on Twitter, coming up with jokes from people's suggestions: </span> French slang for drug addict: Craque Monsieur. Just got a checkbook from my sperm bank, but the pages are all stuck together Psychopath (n): the walkway leading to Anthony Perkins' house I only ever drink champagne made by orphans in an orphanage: Orphagne Online playing World of Woodcraft. Making some level 3 bookends. <a href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/rmlondon1a.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://mydavidcameron.com/images/rmlondon1a.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 157px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 315px;"></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">DON'T LET THE FAUNTLEROYS BACK IN!</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 10: An <a href="http://mydavidcameron.com/posters2.html">amusing site</a> has been set up spoofing David Cameron's earnest and pompous billboard ads.</span> SuperDave has had an easy ride so far - most of the media swallowing his line about public service cuts being the only way to reduce the 'huge debt', with scant mention of the City who got us into this mess in the first place. (Incidentally when did Britain have a small debt? We've only just paid off our WW2 loan to the Yanks!) You get the feeling the Tories are desperate to hack away at vital public services, decentralise and leave a lot of government to private companies, forgetting it was government that saved the economy by stabilising the banks. You also get the feeling some of the public, especially the 'not interested in politics' morons, think it's an X Factor contest and Gordon shouldn't win for being grouchy and awkward in public. <a href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/brown1a.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://mydavidcameron.com/images/brown1a.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 157px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 315px;"></a> <a href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/sturgeon2a.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://mydavidcameron.com/images/sturgeon2a.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 157px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 315px;"></a> <a href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/c4.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://mydavidcameron.com/images/c4.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 157px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 315px;"></a> <a href="http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object/578/59/n2215557979_34755.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/object/578/59/n2215557979_34755.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 288px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 200px;"></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">DANIEL KITSON - A COMEDY GREAT</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 09: Frankie Howerd’s pals used to say that because of the way he looked and acted, he couldn’t have been anything else but a comedian. You could say the same thing about Daniel Kitson.</span> Both have wonderful, expressive faces, great delivery and timing, and Daniel, like Frankie, deserves to be regarded as one of our greatest comedians.<br />
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As Daniel admits in his new show We Are Gathered Here, which I saw at Manchester’s Royal Exchange, he’s never had a 9-5 office job. He’s only 32 but he must have been performing at least half his life.<br />
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After leaving Shelley College, near Huddersfield, he went to study drama at university. Unlike Frankie, however, Daniel’s shows cover a wide range of subjects from intense meaning-of-life philosophising to throwaway gags about pooing. The theme of this show is death, in particular the deaths of his aunt and his great aunt, but like previous shows I’ve seen, It’s The Fireworks Talking and The Impotent Fury of the Privileged, it wheels off into all sorts of topics, from stuffing your face with cake to the beauty of everyday objects.<br />
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Death’s a risky theme for a comedy show – too serious and it becomes a lecture, too jokey and it’s flippant and distasteful. Daniel gets it just right. A section about cheering up his dying great aunt in her hospital bed is leavened with the admission that he strutted out of the ward because he felt he’d conquered ‘a tough gig’. This bigging up then mocking himself is a key part of what makes Daniel such a likeable character and good comic. His hilarious confessions about his gluttony, fear of the dark and his family make the more serious parts of the show - about how we’ll be remembered when we’re gone and what is important to us - so compelling. His winning personality also lifts the observational stuff – longing to be a pub quiz expert but only getting 7/10 on his specialist subject Daniel Kitson – beyond the usual rat-a-rat of the nice but bland Michael McIntyre-types.<br />
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And you know Daniel’s got soul, unlike nasty RoboMonkhouse Jimmy Carr. Daniel’s got passion and unflinching honesty - confessing to wanking in his face twice and once in a fire (only one was deliberate) or how eating ice cream in Scarborough reminds him of his late aunt. For a man who doesn’t seem to do interviews anymore, perhaps to preserve his privacy, he doesn’t appear to hold anything back. He’s got three shows on the go at the moment but still no DVDs.<br />
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Meanwhile his nemesis Peter Kay (who calls Daniel a bastard on the commentary to Phoenix Nights) is churning out DVDs of ever diminishing quality. I went right off Kay when one of his security goons accused me of filming a Kay gig I was at in Sheffield and wouldn’t let me in until my mates kicked up a stink with the management. I know which side I’m on. Carry on Daniel. Here's a rare video clip <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/TbUqhxPGFXY&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/TbUqhxPGFXY&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <a href="http://web.mac.com/dk27/Site/home.html">Here's his website</a> <a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2455/3940416669_4b1f05f9ef.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://farm3.static.flickr.com/2455/3940416669_4b1f05f9ef.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 234px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 400px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">NEW REAL ALE TWATS!</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 09: Tankards of Dunkerton's Owld Hen Dancer all round! Taken from norbet1's Flickr site and also, of course, originally in Viz. For more Real Ale Twats, see below.</span> <a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2455/3940416669_c60dc6a98e_o.jpg">Click here to see full size</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>HITLER'S REACTION TO OASIS SPLIT</b> </span><b>Sept 09:Another Downfall spoof, but one of the best.</b> <object height="340" width="400"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/Q6IyGAvbOs4&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/Q6IyGAvbOs4&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="400" height="340"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">COMIC STRIP</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jun 09: I'm on a bit of a nostalgia trip with box sets at the moment. After Absolutely it's the Comic Strip - another programme that I was desperate to like in the eighties, but now I find it's even patchier than Absolutely.</span> Out of 39 episodes, made between 1982 and 1993 (plus one each from 1998 and 2000), only a handful are worth watching again - Five Go Mad in Dorset, Bad News Tour, Dirty Movie, A Fistful of Travellers' Cheques, Eddie Monsoon, The Strike, South Atlantic Raiders and GLC. Although well-acted by a likeable cast and beautifully shot, the scripts just aren't funny enough and when they do try to do drama, it's forgettable. Their most famous episode, Five Go Mad, has lost some of its shock value (Famous Five with sexual overtones, gasp) that it had when it was first broadcast, so spaghetti western spoof A Fistful of Travellers' Cheques is the most consistently funny episode now. I used to think Rik Mayall was the funniest but he rarely takes a main part and it's Ade Edmondson who steals the shows for me. Dawn French is astonishingly beautiful. <span style="font-weight: bold;">"I'm a matador" from A Fistful of Travellers' Cheques</span> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/Dep1-hv4vzw&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/Dep1-hv4vzw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bad News Tour (first part)</span> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/s8feNFx3y3U&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/s8feNFx3y3U&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: 130%;">ABSOLUTELY...PATCHY (BUT JOHN SPARKES IS STILL BRILLIANT)</span> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">May 09: I bought the Absolutely box set last year and I have to admit it's been a real struggle getting through all eight discs. The genius of John Sparkes still shines and although all the other comedians are likeable and talented, the sketches are often overlong with too many irritating characters.</span> The show ran for four series on Channel 4 from 1989 to 1993. It shared some of the wackiness of Monty Python and was definitely a forerunner of such things as The Fast Show and Catherine Tate. I mentioned John Sparkes when I first started this blog. He's a brilliant all-round comedian - superb characters, great voices, cracking timing and some great physical stuff. He should have been as big as Steve Coogan or Harry Enfield. Here are three of his best bits from the show. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Denzil: based on a shed-building neighbour from Sparkes' youth (for other Denzil stuff, see John Sparkes section)</span> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/xKNva1mLT0o&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/xKNva1mLT0o&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Frank Hovis: Sings at Stonybridge Council's Christmas Party. Don't have any drink in your mouth when he starts singing, you'll be laughing so much it'll come out through your nose</span> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/rO-eqgMrVHk&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/rO-eqgMrVHk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Old Man: Albert Bastard, later known as Mr Ffff in Sparkes' Barry Welsh show. Original use of the word clematis. </span> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/oRjC2YLcviQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/oRjC2YLcviQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (MY FIRST PUBLISHED STORY)</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 09: I've been a journo for 20 years but I must have been writing stories, sketches and lyrics for 30 years - and now I've finally got something fictional published (yes all my journalism has been truthful, even the wrestling reviews!). </span><br />
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My story, The Magnificent Seven, is part of Rainy City Stories. It's a website featuring established authors such as Jackie Kay and amateurs like me and is part funded by the Arts Council. Its brief is to choose a Greater Manc location and write about it. I know, it's not an actual book, but come on, I'm writing a flaming blog here so I'm not complaining!<br />
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I've written kids' stories for fellow kids, cartoons about crap superheroes at school, a farce for the BBC in my mid-teen years (Richard Waring, writer of Robin's Nest, thought it was awful - he was right), lyrics in a band, sketches at uni, an episode of Dangermouse at the end of uni (they asked me to write an episode of Count Duckula - I did a Daffy Duck squashed beak story, knock back), sketches for Spitting Image also in my early 20s (they asked me to submit more sketches - but knock back), stuff for Private Eye (knock back but nice letter from Hislop), sketches for a youth theatre and umpteen short stories at creative writing classes around the country. This story is about a man who approaches another man in the Hare and Hounds pub and asks him to name the Magnificent Seven. This bit is true, the rest is fiction. The story was buzzing in my head for weeks before I knocked it off in one go late at night.
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<li><a href="http://www.rainycitystories.com/2009/02/02/the-magnificent-seven%20">Here's the story</a></li>
<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51BVJSEKSWL._SL500_AA240_.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51BVJSEKSWL._SL500_AA240_.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">JACK DOUGLAS</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Waay-aaaaaah!</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">June 08: When you consider the stars of the Carry On films, Jack Douglas seems to be low down on the list. But is there anything funnier than a tall man with a bowlie haircut and NHS glasses who appears to be pulled backwards by an invisible puppeteer while shouting 'Way-aaaaah'? </span> I was discussing Jack with Richard, King of Otley and we were trying to remember the scene where he walks into a hotel and walks out again in a blaze of twitchy nonsense (it was Carry On Girls). We couldn't find that clip but here's a few others: <b>Classic twitching:</b> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/BJVmecTLQ0k&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/BJVmecTLQ0k&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <b>Carry On Banging - a brilliant pastiche by Harry Enfield - double entendres galore with Barbara Windsor, Kenneth Connor and Jack</b> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/rKIuDr2QEXg&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/rKIuDr2QEXg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <b>Opening scene of Carry On Abroad - twitching, relentless entendres and Watneys Red Barrel</b> <object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="https://www.youtube.com/v/HFAptsWdlgA&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="https://www.youtube.com/v/HFAptsWdlgA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> <a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2213/2279901993_d14479e660.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://farm3.static.flickr.com/2213/2279901993_d14479e660.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;"></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">TOMMY COOPER JOKES</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 08:</span> Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love, get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.<br />
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'Doctor, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'<br />
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Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought: 'This is unusual.' And the dentist said to me: 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet. '<br />
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A man goes into the doctors. The doctor says, 'Go over to the window and stick your tongue out.' Man says: 'Why?' The doctor says: 'I don't like my neighbours'<br />
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A man walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on his shoulder. He says to the barman: 'Give us a pint and one for the road.'<br />
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Two fish in a tank, one says to the other: 'You drive, I'll man the guns.'<br />
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I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next two years. Went to the corner shop - bought four corners Picture: Me Flickr site
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<li><a href="http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/comedians/comedian_tommy_cooper.htm">More Cooper jokes</a></li>
Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-57020835829804612242014-12-16T21:34:00.000+00:002016-01-05T17:15:50.926+00:00WRITING<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://theafterword.co.uk/content/autobiography">Morrissey book review</a></span><br />
He submitted an episode of Coronation Street which ended with Ena Sharples saying: 'Do I really look like a fan of X Ray Spex?' <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/news-opinion/david-griffiths-ideal-night-town-4886451">My Manchester Evening News column - <br />
matinee gigs for the over-40s</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/music/review-badly-drawn-boy--5859382">Triumph amid the tears Badly Drawn Boy review, Manchester Evening News</a> </span><br />
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<a href="http://www.litfest.org.uk/sites/default/files/new-banner-2013_0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.litfest.org.uk/sites/default/files/new-banner-2013_0.jpg" height="104" width="797" /></a></div>
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<b>Huddersfield Literature Festival</b> might not be the biggest literature festival but it always feature some excellent authors. It returns after a two-year absence with a new director, Michelle Hodgson. Highlights include Kate Atkinson (March 15, 7.30pm, Hudds Uni), Joanne Harris (March 16, 10.30am, Waterstones and 7pm Hudds Uni), Yorkshire roots of Ted Hughes (March 17, 2pm, Hudds Arts Gallery), Michael Stewart/Gaia Holmes (March 17, 4pm, Art Gallery), Jeremy Dyson (March 17, 5pm, Art Gallery) <a href="http://litfest.org.uk/?q=landing">Festival website</a><br />
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<a href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcREKldtSon2pWWeDHl3YFclqs5x565Nvb4i8D7Pw_MXXVvY-9glKg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcREKldtSon2pWWeDHl3YFclqs5x565Nvb4i8D7Pw_MXXVvY-9glKg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 264px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 168px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">REVIEW OF STAN BARSTOW'S A RAGING CALM<br />
(PUBLISHED IN THE WORD, DEC 2011)</span><br />
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Author:<br />
Stan Barstow<br />
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It's About:<br />
Weeks after Stan Barstow died, I struggled to find any of his novels - apart from A Kind Of Loving - even in towns near his Wakefield birthplace. I eventually came across A Raging Calm, which is set in 1965 but at first feels like 1865 - women are described as overwrought or firm-bodied and men wouldn't dream of making their own tea.<br />
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The novel initially revolves around Tom Simpkins who is having an affair with a tenant, Norma Moffatt. But A Raging Calm comes alive with the introduction of Simpkins’s secretary, Andrea Warner - a far more sympathetic character - who is torn apart by her love for married teacher Philip Hart and her guilt for what she is doing.<br />
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Barstow is excellent at describing the characters’ agonising dilemmas and recording a time when familiar places and attitudes are changing. After a moribund start, the novel hits its stride as the consequences of Simpkins and Andrea’s affairs reverberate.<br />
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Length of read:<br />
Medium<br />
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Might appeal to people who enjoyed:<br />
Billy Liar, Taste of Honey, lovers of social history and Yorkshire<br />
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One thing you've learned:<br />
It's the mid-60s but there are some familiar 21st century themes - pubs are shutting because there’s not enough custom, identikit housing estates are going up, working class people on the way up are voting Tory, and 15-year-olds are getting drunk and going to discotheques in Leeds. A stroppy girl explains to her baffled mother what a discotheque is: 'It's a kind of club where they play the latest records and you can dance.' Only soft drinks and coffee are sold (she claims).<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">REVIEW OF AND ANOTHER THING</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">(PUBLISHED IN THE WORD, AUGUST 2011)</span></span><br />
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When: </div>
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17 July 2011<br />
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Where: </div>
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Pavilion Theatre, Manchester<br />
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Comments: </div>
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Johnny Vegas and Kevin Eldon starring in a new play should've been one of the highlights of the Manchester International Festival. But while this piece had funny moments, it didn't quite work.<br />
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Vegas and Emma Fryer play hosts on a TV shopping channel, Eldon is the floor manager. All three wrote the play and Eldon directed. Vegas, with his hoarse St Helens accent, gets laughs merely from saying 'scrounger fish' or 'Paco Rabanne' but he seems a bit restrained. Fryer is a revelation - she's a brilliant comic actress.<br />
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The key scene is a live broadcast on a real TV channel where a revelation is expected, but the plot device to get us there is unconvincing as the characters don't ring true. The play, developed in only a few months, needed more work.<br />
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The Audience: </div>
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Mainly 40-50<br />
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Food & Drink: </div>
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No real ale but homemade brownies<br />
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It Made Me Think...: </div>
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Three great performers crying out for better material</div>
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">MEAT SWEATS</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
Mar 11: I was one of nine winners in the One Voice 500-word monologue competition, organised by the Lawrence Batley Theatre, in Huddersfield, and part of the Huddersfield Literature Festival. 'Meat Sweats' was performed by Andy Puszkiewicz at the theatre.</span><br />
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MAN UNDER 40 SAT AT ONE END OF BENCH. IN FRONT OF HIM IS A DESK WITH NOTEBOOK, PEN. </div>
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I’ve a got a bad case of the meat sweats. Can you blame me? </div>
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The buffet was immense. They always lay on a good spread for a big meeting. Sausage rolls as big as your arm and top-notch Parkinson’s pies – all thighs, no eyes.</div>
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Usually it’s a couple of tired egg sarnies, their edges turned up like an Elvis sneer. </div>
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(ELVIS IMPRESSION) Thank you very much. </div>
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I’m a buffet connoisseur. Free food? I can sniff it out a mile. Pub reviews – hello, restaurant openings – come to daddy, and council meetings like this – yabba-dabba-doo!</div>
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(WAFTS FACE WITH PAPERS) It’s hot in the council chamber. It’s always hot in here.</div>
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So after the king of buffets I’m sweating like a horse that’s won the Grand National – then gone on to dance at an all-night horsetheque.</div>
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I’m drowsy and I don’t want to be drowsy. Tonight’s the biggie – the meeting about the development.</div>
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Julian’s here, of course, with his permanently sarcastic face. (NODS TO OTHER SIDE OF BENCH)</div>
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(SITS UPRIGHT, SNOOTY EXPRESSION) He’s sitting so far away from me, he’s probably only got one cheek on the bench. </div>
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He’s particularly haughty tonight and no wonder. In exclusive after exclusive about the development, his newspaper, The Bugle, has led the way. The last exclusive I got for the Chronicle was the mysterious spate of underpant thefts from washing lines. </div>
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Ah yes – the Underpant Snatcher of Skipton Drive. Forty-five pairs stolen, no-one caught –although a man was seen running from the scene with pants on his head.</div>
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I got that story from the boozer where I work part-time. One of the pillocks I serve, Dennis, was the perpetrator. He’d had a bet with the other swillers that he could get in the papers. </div>
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Dennis lost the bet because his name never actually appeared in the paper. He bought bags of pants in, but his pals weren’t convinced by his briefs encounters.</div>
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I need a part-time job like I need the buffets. Working on a weekly paper doesn’t pay – not unless you don’t eat, don’t drink and have no friends – or, in other words, if you’re Julian. One of the people he smarms over is the council leader, Brian Taggart, who’s all teeth and hair and glad-handing – Mr Politics-Lite, Mr U-Turn When It Suits Me. </div>
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But where’s my contact, Frank? I don’t need to schmooze him. He took a shine to me instantly, said he reminded me of his son. Frank’s the council rock, a former leader sidelined by the weasel Taggart. </div>
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Frank’s got a code if he’s found something interesting – a wink or a nod or an eyebrow arched. Taggart wants the development – a shopping mall in the town centre. I’ve found evidence that Taggart’s relatives could benefit, but my paper won’t print it. Our paper’s so careful, we worry we’ll be sued over the flower show results. </div>
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Frank has been looking into Taggart for me, but where is he? The chairman calls for order, the room goes quiet. </div>
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Then Frank rushes in. He looks at me and winks. The game’s afoot!</div>
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SONG I CO-WROTE ON 'ALBUM IN A DAY' CD</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">2010: Last month I took part in Huddersfield Literature Festival's Album In A Day project and I provided lyrics to the first song on the project's CD.</span><br />
<br />
The idea was that anyone could come along with their lyrics, or have two hours to create their own lyrics, and musicians had three hours to come up with a tune. The musicians then performed the songs live and their performances were recorded.<br />
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It was a great day (and evening) and I can honestly say there wasn't a duff song on the 10-track Texts and Love and Mortal Soul CD, so all credit to the musicians, organisers (and lyricists!).<br />
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Most people opted to write their own lyrics in an afternoon, using a Leonard Cohen song, where he writes a letter to a lover, as a springboard for ideas and structure.<br />
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I tried this but I wasn't satisfied with what I'd written and used lyrics I'd brought along, Keep Your Chin Up. Here are the lyrics:<br />
<br />
Put your feet up<br />
Let your hair down<br />
Keep your chin up<br />
Keep your nose clean<br />
<br />
Go bananas<br />
In your ‘<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54">jamas</span></span><br />
Let’s be flighty<br />
In our nighties<br />
<br />
Don’t be headstrong<br />
Lovely <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">Goolagong</span></span><br />
You’re the kingpin<br />
Billie-Jean King<br />
<br />
Watch your ice creams<br />
Or they’ll <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">Meltham</span></span><br />
Sexy undies<br />
Here in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">Thongsbridge</span></span><br />
<br />
You’re the bees-knees<br />
With your Red Stripe<br />
Love you truly<br />
<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">Ossett</span></span> Brewery<br />
<br />
<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">Hanky</span></span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">panky</span></span><br />
Feeling swanky<br />
<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Aga</span></span> saga<br />
If you’d rather<br />
<br />
Do <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">watusi</span></span><br />
It’s a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">doozy</span></span><br />
Mashed ‘<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">potater</span></span>’<br />
See ya later<br />
<br />
I originally had about three other verses and repeated the first verse at the end, but I was advised to choose the strongest verses and make the first verse into a chorus with an extra couple of lines.<br />
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All 10 lyricists were asked what type of music they wanted to accompany their lyrics before the 10 musicians beavered away at a tune.<br />
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I had The Fall's Container Drivers in mind, but I had no idea how the song would turn out until musician (and event organiser) Dave Gill struck up the first chords in Sleepers Bar, Huddersfield. I think his arrangement works really well. To listen to the song, click on the link.<br />
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<a href="http://www.box.net/shared/bv7imdo309">Keep your chin up</a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">MAGNIFICENT SEVEN</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">2009: This story appears on the Rainy City Stories website, where the brief is to write a story based in and around a Manchester location.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></div>
The Northern Rail rattler to Stalyvegas is late again and I’m early, so I decide to squeeze in a swifty at the Hare and Hounds.<br />
I’m ordering a Holts at the bar when I notice this old fella staring at me. No change there – I’ve got one of those faces. People think I’m someone else, people think they recognise me.<br />
But the funny thing is, I think I recognise him. He’s about six foot, with slicked black hair. His eyebrows and sideburns are grey and out-of-control like shabby Brillo pads. He appears to be smartly dressed, but when I look closer his suit is far too big for him – you could shoplift turkeys in it.<br />
He lurches over from the other side of the pub as if we’re on the Good Ship Venus in a Force 10, his eyes fixed on mine. Is he pal of my dad’s? An old workmate gone to seed?<br />
I try to catch the barmaid’s eye for an early warning nutter alert but she’s giving nothing away.<br />
He stands next to me, reaches inside his jacket pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper.<br />
‘Do you know the actors who played the Magnificent Seven?’ he asks me in an accent that appears to be both Manc and German.<br />
I’m thrilled. I’ve been waiting for this. Ever since I lost a pub quiz tie-breaker on this very question, I’ve been dying to answer it again – in a pub quiz, on a quiz machine, even from an old fella with a piece of paper.<br />
He says, ‘I’ve been going round the pubs asking everyone this question for the past few weeks. Everyone’s got involved.’<br />
Quiz me daddio, quiz me. Yes, he may be drunk, he may be a nutter, but this is just what I need when I’m trying to get the buzz of work out of my head. Quiz me daddio!<br />
The Magnificent Seven. The first three are easy – baldy Brynner the leader, stone-face Bronson and Great Escape McQueen. Next two are pretty easy too – James Coburn, he’s in loads, and Man from Uncle Robert Vaughn.<br />
So I rattle these names off and the old fella’s smiling. And then I tell him the next two, the two that everyone struggles with.<br />
One of them is no problem – Brad Dexter, my surname’s Dexter, and I give the old fella the name. His Muppet eyebrows inch upwards.<br />
And then the last name, the one that did for me at the pub quiz – Horst Bucholz, Horst flaming Bucholz.<br />
I’d never heard of him until that quiz, but when I heard the answer, I wrote it down. The next day I bought the film and concentrated on him. I was determined to remember what he looked like.<br />
So when the old fella said, ‘You know, Horst was my brother,’ I didn’t totally dismiss it as old man pub drivel because there was something familiar about his face.<br />
Otto was the old fella’s name. He’d come over here as a mining engineer in the Seventies, met a Salford girl and settled down. Why couldn’t he be Horst’s brother?<br />
Otto leaned towards me: ‘You know I was on the set, the set of The Magnificent Seven.’<br />
‘Really! What was that like?’ I asked.<br />
‘Hot like you wouldn’t believe,’ he said.<br />
‘Did you meet any of the other actors?’ I asked.<br />
‘Yes.’<br />
‘Who?’<br />
‘Brynner.’<br />
Otto leaned in again and whispered in my ear: ‘He had a special towel boy.’<br />
‘A what?’ I said, almost spitting out my Holts.<br />
‘A towel boy. To keep his head glinting in the sun. Rub-a-dub,’ said Otto, miming the movement of a towel being wiped on a head.<br />
‘And don’t talk to me about Bronson!’ he said, throwing his beer in the air.<br />
I realised I was lapping all this up. Hanging on his words – I was clinging on for dear life. I just couldn’t help myself and asked: ‘What about Bronson?’<br />
‘He shaved off his moustache, stuck the hairs in a roll-up and smoked it. Smoked it up, puff-puff,’ Otto said, raising his glass.<br />
‘No! Surely he could afford a bit of baccy?’<br />
‘That’s Bronson!’<br />
We stared at the bar towels.<br />
‘What happened to your brother?’ I asked.<br />
Otto stared down at the bar.<br />
‘He went to Germany. I don’t know,’ he said.<br />
‘Did you go to his funeral?’<br />
I’d Googled Horst to within an inch of his life (and death) after the quiz.<br />
Otto started: ‘Funeral? I didn’t know, he’d… oh, of course.’<br />
He dropped the piece of paper with the names of the actors onto the bar.<br />
I looked down and notice Horst was spelled Horsed.<br />
I pointed to the paper, looked up at Otto and said: ‘Horsed?’<br />
He winked at me and said: ‘Well, it was a Western.’<br />
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Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1142202652534988672014-12-03T08:02:00.000+00:002014-12-17T14:51:38.547+00:00PUB NEWS<span style="font-size: large;"><b>PUB OF THE YEAR: FINAL FOUR REVEALED</b></span><br />
Dec 2014: Camra has revealed its final four for pub of the year. They are The Harewood, in Broadbottom, Greater Manchester; the Freshfield, Formby, Merseyside; the Salutation, in Ham, Gloucestershire and the Windmill, in Sevenoaks, Kent. The winner will be announced in February.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>TOP RAT</b></span><br />
Sept 2014: The Rat and Ratchet, in Huddersfield, has been named the best cask ale pub in Britain by the Morning Advertiser. Well deserved too - the pub is almost perfect. It has a good mix of Ossett, Rat and other local beers, is cosy and attractive inside, has friendly staff and a great jukey.<br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BZ6ZXvxCcAAQfJk.jpg:large" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BZ6ZXvxCcAAQfJk.jpg:small" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;">A<b>LL HAIL THE ALES WAY!</b></span><br />
Starting this weekend (May 17-18), there is a chance to visit some cracking country pubs by bus.<br />
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The Ales Way is organised by Wharfedale Brewery and pubs in the Wharfedale Valley, in conjunction with local bus firms. There are roughly three buses a day from Ilkley to Buckden and various other services. <br />
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Pubs taking part are: Wheatley, Ben Rhydding; Flying Duck, Ilkley (pictured); Crown, Addingham; New Inn and Craven Arms, Appletreewick; Red Lion, Burnsall; Clarendon, Hebden; Grassington House, Foresters and Devonshire, all in Grassington; Fountaine,in Linton in Craven; Gamekeeper's, Threshfield; Blue Bell, Kettlewell; Buck, Buckden; George, Hubberholme.<br />
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There are various prizes and souvenirs available for those who take part in the crawl. Sounds good (apart from crossing your legs on a bus).<br />
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<a href="https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1_m.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1_m.jpg" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR</b></span><br />
It's that time of year again when Camra branches reveal their favourite boozers. Good beer is the key, although atmosphere, level of service, value for money and community focus are also taken into consideration.<br />
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Congratulations to the splendid King's Head, <b>Huddersfield's</b> top boozer. <br />
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Jimi Hendrix is on the pub sign but the beer is never purple or hazy. The pub favours lighter ales but always has at least one dark one on and the splendid Golcar brewery is a regular, along with beers from other local breweries such as Empire and Magic Rock. Bradfield and Oakham breweries are also favourites here. <br />
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The staff are friendly, the fires are roaring and the place is rocking on Sundays when excellent covers bands are on. According to the Huddersfield Examiner, The Star and Will O'Nats ran the King's close but this is the right decision (although as I say every year: why does the Grove never get a look-in for this title?)<br />
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<b>North Manchester's</b> winner is the marvellous Port Street Beer House. When it first opened, I thought it was a second-rate Grove of Huddersfield, but I've been made to eat my words after many visits to a pub that feels like home - a good mix of hand-pulls from the north plus more exotic kegs and bottles. They are served by friendly staff in a place that may be rather anonymous from the outside, but is like a wooden Tardis on the inside (my home isn't exactly like this).<br />
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If ever you have to describe a street corner boozer, The City Arms, in the centre of Manchester is it. Hunched between the Waterhouse and the Vine this narrow, cosy pub more than holds its own and is <b>Trafford and Hulme's</b> winner (confusingly). It's got plenty of wood which I always love in a pub.<br />
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The Corn Dolly is <b>Bradford's </b>top of the pubs. Perfectly reasonable but I'm a sucker for the Sparrow in that city.<br />
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<b>Halifax's</b> is the decent Cross Keys in Siddal, done out nicely with plenty of good beers and makes a nice crawl with the Three Pigeons and Shears.<br />
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Harry's Bar is my favourite <b>Wakefield</b> pub and it's Camra's favourite too. Small. always busy and cosy in winter with the fire going.<br />
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The splendid West Riding Refreshment Rooms is top of the pile in <b>Dewsbury</b>. Great railway pub, very lively.<br />
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Yet again Kelham Island is <b>Sheffield's</b> ale king. As I've said before, there are better pubs in the city.<br />
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<b>South Manchester and Stockport's</b> fave is The Hope, in Heaton Norris, which only reopened a year ago after a refurbishment by its experienced owners. It's an impressive square building with big windows and Hardy beer signs and offers 11 cask ales, four of which are The Hope's own Fool Hardy Ales.<br />
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<b>Wigan's</b> number one is the Crooke Hall Inn, in Crooke, on the outskirts of Wigan which I think was once owned by my great grandparents (it's now owned by Allgates brewery). I went many moons ago and I seem to remember it's a rather peaceful place by the canal. Town centre pubs The Anvil and the The Raven were second and third respectively.<br />
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<b>Other winners include: </b><br />
Abercolwyn: Albion Ale House, Conwy<br />
Barnsley: Old Number 7<br />
Glasgow/W Scotland: Laurieston Bar, Glasgow<br />
Keighley: Brown Cow<br />
Liverpool: Liverpool Pigeon, Crosby<br />
Macclesfield and East Cheshire: Young Pretender, Congleton<br />
Rochdale, Oldham and Bury: Carrion Crow, Oldham <br />
Southport: Freshfield, Formby <br />
Tyneside: The Bodega, Newcastle<br />
Westmorland: George & Dragon, Dent<br />
York: Wheatsheaf, in Burn, near Selby <br />
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<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2602/3769961097_1d278e6400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2602/3769961097_1d278e6400.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>NO ROOM FOR THE PUMP</b></span><br />
One of Halifax's oldest pubs is to close at the end of March and is expected to be demolished and replaced by a car park.<br />
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The Pump Room is in the way of an ambitious and controversial scheme to build a new shopping centre - ambitious because the centre aims to attract big retail names, controversial because it means the end of a building put up in 1791 and the final bell for one of the best pubs in the town.<br />
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Its heyday for me was the early 2000s when you could watch rugby on TV and enjoy at least eight local real ales. The ales are still on and still in good order but the pub is now overshadowed by the nearby Three Pigeons and Dirty Dicks. The former is a nicer pub, the latter offers cheaper ales.<br />
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The last day of trading for the Pump will be March 30, according to Camra.<br />
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I hope its demolition is worth it and the shopping centre does not become a white elephant or draw trade from the rest of the town. There is a danger that a town like Fax will be relatively overfaced with shops. On the other hand it could become second only to Leeds as a shopping destination in West Yorks.<br />
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Pic of pub by Deltrems on Flickr<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>ALAS POOR GOWRIE</b></span><br />
After a couple of months of rumour and rumblings of discontent, it happened - one of Manchester's best-known pubs, the Lass O'Gowrie, closed.<br />
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Not for good, as some thought - the pub will reopen in February after a makeover. But landlord Gareth Kavanagh departed in bitter circumstances, telling the Morning Advertiser and Manchester Evening News his pub was rated below average by owners Greene King which wanted him to spend 40 grand on a makeover. This demand came after he had won a long rent battle with the brewery and won the Advertiser's national competition for pub of the year in 2012. He said the closure of the BBC office opposite had hit takings by 40 per cent.<br />
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The man who runs the nearby Salisbury, John Rowlinson, has taken on the Lass, promising local ales and homecooked food. Greene King said the Lass had 'lost its reputation as a real ale pub'.<br />
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The pub is looking a bit tired and needs a makeover and the beer choice has not been up to usual standards recently, but this is excusable considering what happened at the end of the year. The best.thing you could say about the beer choice is that you never realised you were in a Greene King pub! Oustanding and Facers were among the regular stars.<br />
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You have to got to feel sorry for Mr Kavanagh who has tried everything to gee up trade - food, nice little outdoor area for the smokers, TV sport (a rarity for real ale pubs) and the theatre nights upstairs, especially the stage versions of old TV shows and the wonderful posters.<br />
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Perhaps the all-rounder nature of the pub was part of the problem. The TVs do dominate when they're on and it's hard to get away from them. The location, of course, does not help. It would be wonderful to swap the bland Bulls Head, opposite Piccadilly station, for the Lass.<br />
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The Oxford Road station area is an odd one for pubs - plenty of trade, you would have thought, from the station, students, Cornerhouse folk and Palace Theatre people, but only the Temple and the Lass stand out <br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BZ6ZXvxCcAAQfJk.jpg:large" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BZ6ZXvxCcAAQfJk.jpg:small" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>NEW PUBS</b></span><br />
I was kindly invited to the new <b>Flying Duck in Ilkley</b> by one of the investors in the pub. What a lovely place it is.<br />
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Ikley is a thriving town with many independent shops, a place where you’d think there would be plenty of real ale pubs. But its neighbour Otley is the bees-knees for ale in these parts, and although some Ilkley types look down on Otley as Grotley, too many of the pubs in Ilkley have a grotty air about them.<br />
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For years Bar T’At was the only pub in the town worth visiting. Not any more.With The Crescent and now The Flying Duck, Ilkley is at last becoming a real ale destination.<br />
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The Flying Duck was originally a farmhouse (built in 1709) and is believed to be the oldest pub in town (it was formerly know as the Albert and also the Mallard). <br />
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It has a lovely cottagey feel, with its stone exterior and oak and stone floors. It is bigger than you think inside - two rooms downstairs are separated by a real fire; there’s a snug upstairs and bigger function-type room next to that. The beams in the Grade 2 listed building are among the original features. The place has been tastefully decorated and already has a cosy feel, unlike many new pubs. The work to transform the pub took seven months and cost about £200,000.<br />
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The pub is a brewhouse of Wharfedale Brewery which is founded by the pub investors who are also connected to the successful Ilkey Beer Festival ( tickets for which sell out quicker than Glastonbury).<br />
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The brewery is headed up by Michael Allan, supported by Five Towns’ Malcolm Bastow. Consultant is Stewart Ross the founder of Ilkley Brewery. <br />
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Two quaffable Wharfedale beers were on the bar Blonde (light refreshing) and Sezer<b> </b>(I think<b> - </b>pleasantly smoky). There are nine real ales on in all. Prices are decent for this part of the West Riding.<br />
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Thanks to Robin and Stewart for showing me round. <br />
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Other new pubs:<br />
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<b>The North Bar Social in Otley</b> opened earlier this year and is a lovely place - a quirky retro feel with its furniture and lighting, it offers something different in the town (too quirky for Otley?).<br />
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<b>Crowd of Favours</b> is Leeds Brewery's new venture, an old chippy next to the Duck and Drake, in Leeds. Feels a little cosier and characterful than other Leeds pubs. Four Leeds beers on (in good order) and four guests.<br />
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<b><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">A NEW LOOK FOR AN OLD FAVOURITE</span></b><br />
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One of my favourite pubs, the Rat and Ratchet, had been looking a bit tired. Before this year, the last time it had been done up was nine years ago.<br />
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But now it has had a spanking new makeover which puts at the top of the tree for pubs in Huddersfield.<br />
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The main change is the makeover of the front room. It has been opened up, some steps removed and a new window and fireplace installed. It feels like you’re in a country pub even though you’re on one of the town’s dingiest roads.<br />
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A new tiled checked floor has been fitted in the entrance (tres snazzy) and the exterior has been scrubbed up to reveal the lovely yellow brick, New signs are up as well.<br />
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And a new jukebox has been installed at last. Oh yes! I know Camra fundamentalists like to hear the sounds of their own voices in pubs - foghorning about hops - but there is nothing like being in the Rat on a Friday or Saturday night with the jukey playing 60s or new wave stuff.<br />
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I hope they give the rest of the pub a lick of paint and perhaps put in some new posters. But this is a minor quibble - a great pub has got even better.<br />
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<a href="http://www.conwybrewery.co.uk/resources/albion.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://www.conwybrewery.co.uk/resources/albion.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>PUB SHORTS</b></span><br />
I've always been found of Conwy, with its castle, narrow streets, lovely seafront,<span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b><span style="font-size: small;">and great chippies,</span></span> but now it has one of my favourite pubs, <b>The Albion</b><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;">,</span></span><b><span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="font-size: small;">pictured</span></span></b>, is a wonderful multi-room<span style="font-size: small;">ed</span>, smoked glass-doored, tiled-passaged (I love a tiled pasage in a pub) place, awash with lovely North Walian ales. It was shut by Punch in 2010 and reopened in 2012 by four local breweries - Purple Moose, Conwy, Great Orme and Bragdy'r Nant. It has had a £100,000 refit to restore it to its former 1920s glory and is a Camra heritage pub and branch pub of the year.<br />
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Another branch pub of the year is the <b>Masons, in Todmorden,</b> which has secured the Calderdale gong. Four ales, in good order, an old-fashioned jukey and the best steak and ale pudding I've ever had. Just down the road, nearer town, is the <b>Bare Arts</b> a bottle-only brewery shop which has seating for those who want to drink in. It's a friendly, charming place.<br />
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<b>The Gonzo bar, in Holmfirth</b>, has Nook beers and plenty of interesting bottles in a light and airy room full of squishy sofas and comfy chairs. Reminded me of the excellent Vox and Zephyr bars in Huddersfield.<br />
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Sheffield real ale pub of the year, <b>Shakespeares</b>, deserves its title - like the Albion it was closed for a bit and has been lovingly restored. Plenty of charming rooms, ace ales, another old-fashioned jukey and a nice-looking beer garden<br />
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<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1_m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1_m.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>KING OF THE PUBS</b></span> - The King's Head<b>,</b> in Huddersfield, could be restored to its former glory with plans to remove a false ceiling to allow in more natural light and restore the original ceiling. The pub has the best beer of the two railway station pubs, but despite its tiled floor and real fires can look a litle tired when it's quiet. The King's and its station rival the Head of Steam were once identical waiting rooms. The King's is a listed building and the owner has to apply for grants to help pay for the work (from Hudds Examiner)<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.crowdoffavours.co.uk/img/top_logo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.crowdoffavours.co.uk/img/top_logo.png" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>NEW PUBS!</b></span><br />
Good luck to two new pubs which have just opened. Leeds Brewery's marvellously named Crowd of Favours is near Leeds Market in Harper Street, while North Bar Social has opened in Bondgate, Otley. Two great pub companies - I'm sure the boozers will be smashing.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CO-OP PLAN FOR FOX AND GOOSE PUB</b></span><br />
A share offer has been launched by campaigners fighting to save the Fox and Goose, in Hebden Bridge, and turn it into the first co-op pub.<br />
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Local people and real ale enthusiasts got together as the Friends of the Fox and Goose to save the pub when the landlady’s deteriorating health meant she would soon be unable to run it herself.<br />
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A steering group concluded that a co-operative would be viable and the community voted in favour of this option at a public meeting.<br />
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The Fox and Goose (Hebden Bridge) Limited, the co-operative society set up to buy and run the pub for the benefit of the community, opened the share offer on Friday 14th June, and it will run until the end of July, unless the target is hit before that date.<br />
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The society aims to raise £130,000 to buy and spruce up the pub. Supporters will be able to buy shares from a value of £100 up to a maximum of £20,000. By June 21, a third of shares had been sold and £42,000 raised<br />
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<a href="http://www.foxandgoose.org/">To buy shares</a><br />
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(Some info from Hebweb)<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_f50c7552c2_z.jpg?zz=1"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_f50c7552c2_z.jpg?zz=1" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 440px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 295px;" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>HUDDERSFIELD CAMRA PUB OF THE YEAR - THE SPORTSMAN</b></span><br />
Congratulations to The Sportsman, pub of the year for 2013. It also won in 2012 and shared the title with The Rat in 2011. The Sportsman is a wonderful characterful multi-room pub with eight real ales. The town is very lucky to have five top-notch real ale pubs which carve their own niche - Sporters, Rat, Grove, Star and King's Head - so it's a shame Huddersfield Camra doesn't give someone else a turn. The Grove seems to be getting more and more popular, is leading the way with craft ale selections and has been nationally recognised. It's well overdue a pub of the year award.<br />
Elsewhere, the marvellous <b>Fighting Cock is Bradford Camra's pub of the year</b> - a grim journey from town to find this gem. Great selection of local ales from a long bar.<br />
<b>Sheffield Camra's pick is Shakespeares</b>, not too far from the other excellent pubs in the Kelham Island area. It only reopened in 2011 after being shut for 17 months. It was rescued by William Wagstaff, of The New Beehive, in Bradford<br />
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<a href="http://www.willsonatshuddersfield.co.uk/wpimages/bd74.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://www.willsonatshuddersfield.co.uk/wpimages/bd74.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Huddersfield Camra Rural Pub of the Year</b></span> <br />
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April 13: Congratulations to Will O'Nats, Blackmoorfoot, near Meltham. A cosy pub, with a real fire. <b>I</b>ts huge window show off the rolling hills and stone walls around the pub. Five ales, not particularly adventurous (inc Black Sheep, Landlord, Greene King), hearty food, and bluesy/rock bands at the weekend. Rural pub is a new category for the Camra branch this year - good idea as country pubs always have to be a little more foody and a little more conservative in beer choice. Other nominations were: Commercial, Slaithwaite (great local beer selection); Rose & Crown (Nook), Holmfirth (fab jukey, good Nook beers); Rose & Crown, Cop Hill, Slaithwaite; White Horse, Emley (part of the mighty Ossett empire); White Horse, Jackson Bridge<br />
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<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://theoldcockotley.co.uk/wp-content/themes/pubforce/files/rotation/DSC_4806.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://theoldcockotley.co.uk/wp-content/themes/pubforce/files/rotation/DSC_4806.jpg" height="186" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>Pubs of the year</b> </span><br />
<b>2013: S</b>ome cracking pubs have been included in a slightly confusing Camra list of the UK’s Top 150 Local Real Ale Pubs (there are actually 166 pubs on the list). Camra has compiled various branches' winners of the year to celebrate Community Pubs Month. It's confusing because different branches choose their pubs at different times of the year, so Huddersfield, Halifax and Sheffield pubs, for example, are not featured.<br />
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Winners on the list include:<br />
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Heavy Woollen District branch - New Inn, Roberttown<br />
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High Peak & North East Cheshire - Stalybridge Buffet Bar, Stalybridge (the best railway pub)<br />
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Keighley & Craven - The Boltmakers Arms, Keighley (cracking little pub, real fire)<br />
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Leeds - Old Cock, Otley (pictured - a relatively new pub in a lovely old cottage building,a great selection of local ales)<br />
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Liverpool & Districts - Freshfield Hotel, Formby<br />
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North Manchester - Park Hotel, Monton<br />
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Rochdale Oldham & Bury - The Baum, Rochdale<br />
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Southport & West Lancs - Hop Vine, Burscough (more a food pub than anything but superb nosh and good ales brewed in the pub)<br />
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Stockport & South Manchester - Nursery, Stockport<br />
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Wakefield - The Junction, Castleford<br />
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Wigan - The Berkeley<br />
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York - Ferry Boat Inn, Thorganby<br />
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Pubs were chosen on their customer service, value for money, decor, customer mix, atmosphere and quality of beer. The majority will now move forward to CAMRA’s Regional Pub of the Year competition (announced in September) with the winner of that award standing a chance of winning CAMRA’s National Pub of the Year (announced in February 2014).<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">New Huddersfield bar... </span></b><br />
2013: ...Northern Taps, next to Zephyr - and it looks like it's aiming for a similar vibe to its neighbour. <br />
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Taps is nicely furnished and lit, with old fashioned parcel tags on the different ciders and beers (five ciders and a Mallinsons, Phoenix and a Jennings). Surprised there were no bottled beers on offer but the Phoenix Porter was in good order and I'd visit again. Taps also does food. <br />
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UPDATE: The food here is excellent, hearty, homely and freshly-cooked judging by the wait (I'd rather wait a bit and get decent food). Pies, platters, steaks all good and it looks like word is getting around - no seats at 6 on evening I went.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">More monkey business</span></b><span style="font-size: large;"> </span><br />
2013: The rather splendid HDM Beer Shop and bar is looking to spread into the empty shop next door - if it gets planning permission - just months after it opened. <br />
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This quirky little place, with its ridiculously high bar, has a great selection of Yorkshire bottled beers rarely seen anywhere else (although they could dim down the lighting a bit). <br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Refurb for the best pub in which to watch rugby league</b></span><br />
2013: Dusty Miller, Longwood could soon have new owners and a refurbishment after licensees Bob and Sue Kendal retired. Ivan, the boss of the Field Head, Quarmby, is helping to run the DM at the mo and is Punch's first choice to take it over full-time, but he disagrees with Punch about how much needs spending on the pub - the pub co says £100,000, he says more. <br />
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The Miller is a charming, cottagey pub which seems in good nick to me. It has three decent ales on, including Tetley's Mild, but is one of the few places in Hudds guarenteed to show the rugby league (Some info - Huddersfield Examiner). <br />
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UPDATE: pub has reopened, still has real ales BUT NO SKY! Gah! (It does have vases of nuts on the bar though.<br />
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UPDATE, APRIL: New owners walk out after days over Punch refurb.<br />
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<h2>CAMRA Regional Pubs of the Year</h2><b>Sept 2012: I've moaned on here about Kelham Island, in Sheffield, being one of the most overrated pubs and yet again it's Sheffield and Yorkshire pub of the year. Decent beer but a bogstandard venue - I just can't see the attraction.</b><br />
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Of course, quality of beer is of prime concern in the judging but the judges also look atmosphere, decor, customer service, value for money, clientele mix.<br />
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These 16 regional winners will now compete to be crowned National Pub of the Year, with the announcement made in early 2013.<br />
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Greater Manchester pub of the years is the Baum, Rochdale.<br />
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West Pennines - Bridge Bier Huis, Burnley.<br />
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Merseyside & Cheshire- Lower Chequer, Sandbach. <br />
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Huddersfield's first specialist beer shop - <b>HDM Beer Shop</b> - has opened and it looks like it could be special.<br />
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Aug 12: It's surprising how few real ale pubs offer a decent bottle selection, while supermarkets offer a limited range with few micros (unless you're Neil Morrissey), so HDM (Hand Drawn Monkey) could be onto something.<br />
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It's a bar as well as an offy and that could be key to its success as it could become another 57 Thomas St, Manc's tiny Marble bar.<br />
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HDM is in a groovy Hudds spot - on the same street as Vox, Coffee Evolution and Neaversons.<br />
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Ex-Rat & Ratchet man Rob is involved in HDM (he's been replaced by the team from the Shepherds Boy, Dewsbury at the Rat) and his beer shop offers a selection of bottles from Europe and the USA, three handpulls (a couple of Mallinsons) and three kegs (including Summer Wines) and some cider and sarnies. For me, it was great to see a Saltaire range, plus Bridestones, Ellands and Naylors.<br />
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The shop has a ridiculously high bar, (I felt like I was a kid in a sweet shop) which could become a quirky feature, while there is basic seating curved around the window. Sandwiches are good.<br />
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HDM feels busy with 20-30 people but this number works well in Thomas St and works well in HDM, definitely worth a visit<br />
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<h2>Vote Grove!</h2>June 12: Even though there was no lock on the gents recently and I was caught in a compromising position despite whistling loudly, and even though my pint was then knocked over when I leaned on a wonky table, you should vote for <b>the Grove in Huddersfield</b>, in the Welcome to Yorkshire/Yorkshire Post's Yorkshire Pub of the Year (Yorkshire! Yorkshire!).<br />
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The Grove is a unique, characterful pubs with a huge selection of beers and customers. It's up against 15 boozers, many in the north of the county (not surprising considering the Post is aimed at Tory vicars and farmers in North Yorkshire) but also fairly bog-standard pubs like the Town Tavern in Leeds and The Fleece in Otley. You have until July 1 to vote by clicking on this <a href="http://www.yorkshire.com/pub">link</a> <br />
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<h2>Sair: The Book</h2>Jul 12: Elspeth Moore is writing a book about the world's greatest pub (probably), <b>The Sair Inn, Linthwaite</b>. Landlord Ron will have been there for 30 years this year and Elspeth told the Huddersfield Examiner that she is looking for stories about the pub. Email her on sairinn@hotmail.co.uk. Surely it's the only 18th century former cottage with stone floors, real fires, its own beers and one of the greatest jukeboxes? Nothing interesting has happened to me there, apart from Danny the pub dog eating my pie while I put Elmore James on the jukey<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CHORLTON-CUM-HARDY AND OTHER PUB VISITS</b></span><br />
<b>June 12: Chorlton-cum-Hardy - it's a bit mutton dressed as lamb. Yes, it has a reputation as a groovy place and a real ale hotspot, with six pubs in the Good Beer Guide, but blimey it's a bit of a dump - dingy red brick, faded window frames, the 'cafe bar society' overgrown cig shelters next to a busy road.</b><br />
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Thankfully, the pubs I visited were nicer inside - <b>The Bar</b> was pleasingly homely with battered wooden floors and furniture and eight beers, including several Marbles. The Marble Ginger was on top form. <br />
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<b>Oddest, pictured from pub site,</b> was nice and quirky, with huge red tasselly lampshades over the bar, glazed bricks and excellent Acorn Barnsley bitter. There were some Guy Garvey-esque punters, with beards so thick they looked like they'd been held hostage for three months, and an excellent singer who looked like a young David Thewlis and sang like Johnny Dangerously.<br />
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Talking of quirky, <b>the Lower Royal George, in Scammonden</b>, near Huddersfield is a real treat - quirky-going-on-kitsch, with plates and bank notes on the walls, dolls on the windowsills and cushions everywhere else. It's got great character and has two real ales which appear to change weekly. I had the Brains' Rev James and a porky platter there recently - the former was excellent and the meat in the latter was good (although the tinned peas were horrible). The pub always seems to be packed with diners.<br />
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Over the back roads to Holmfirth and <b>Brambles Bar and Cafe</b>, formerly the slightly down-at-heel White Hart. This opened last year by the man who revamped the Commercial in Slaithwaite, and made it such a success. I'm not quite sure about the decor at Brambles - plenty of wood and stone for sure, but the purple colour scheme, high chairs and horrible silver-coloured ornaments don't do anything for me.<br />
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However there are eight real ales, including two house beers by Empire. I tried the Brambles Mild which was good, as was my sandwich. The were a lot of people enjoying the food here and I'm guessing it will be a hit with people wanting a meal and with a younger crowd at night.<br />
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On to Halifax and <b>The Old Post Office </b> which now has a good selection of local real ales. Five ales on - Moorhouses & Wainwright regulars and three others. Most were on good form, however the terrible Capital FM-type drivel being blasted out really put me off this place.<br />
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Finally back to Greater Manchester and two pubs in Salford. I'd never been to the <b>Black Lion</b> before and I was expecting a much bigger pub from the size of the building outside. It's long and skinny inside, rather like many of the rather trendy people inside. The pub describes itself as 'a counter culture arts venue' but the beer choice is not particularly radical - Hobgoblin, Copper Dragon and a nice Roosters. It's very pleasant inside.<br />
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But it won't top <b>the Kings Arms</b>, nearby. Lovely curved bar, cosy rooms, pleasingly rowdy customers and a great selection of six ales, including Moorhouses.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR: Huddersfield, N/S Manchester, Heavy Woollen, Wakefield</b></span><br />
<b>Apr 12: Congratulations to The Sportsman - <span style="font-weight: bold;">Huddersfield's</span> pub of the year. </b><br />
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It's the town's most handsome pub, beautifully looked after and a pleasure to be in thanks to its decor, staff and most of the beers. <br />
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But over the past year it's slipped from its extremely high standards. Its own beers just aren't as good as the beers from other local breweries they replaced.<br />
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And The Grove was well overdue a win. It serves the widest selection of real ales and other beers in the town. It's cosy, friendly and attracts a huge range of people - and national acclaim (featured in Adrian Tierney-Jones' book). But obviously there's something that fellow Camra members don't like about it.<br />
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The magnificent West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury, is the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Heavy Woollen</span> branch choice.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Wakefield</span> has chosen the Cricketers, in Horbury. I've yet to visit but it's owned by the company that runs the excellent Sportsman in Hudds and the Refreshment Rooms and I've heard good things.<br />
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In <b>Bradford</b>, it's the lovely Sparrow - a pub that feels like an old friend <br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">North Manchester </span>branch<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>has chosen the New Oxford, in Salford, while <span style="font-weight: bold;">Rochdale, Oldham & Bury</span> has picked The Baum, in Rochdale.<br />
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A big shock for me is the winner in <span style="font-weight: bold;">South Manchester and Stockport</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;"></span>winner- the Bull's Head, opposite Piccadilly station. Is this really the best? It's a Marston-owned pub with all its bland selection of once great beers - Pedigree, Ringwood, Jennings - in a sort of fake ye olde pub decor outside and in. Runner-up The Crown, in Stockport, is streets ahead in terms of beer and atmosphere.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">MY PUBS OF THE YEAR</span></span><br />
Jan 12: I’ve been around a bit this year. Steady! I mean boozers – London, Cambridge, Brighton, as well as Manchester and west Yorkshire.<br />
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It’s only when you travel that you realise how much you’ve got at home, so top of my list are my regulars:<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">1 Rat & Ratchet/Grove/Sportsman/Star/King’s Head, Huddersfield</span><br />
Lovely-looking pubs, great atmosphere, great beers, friendly staff and they all remain popular with customers.<br />
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But…<br />
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The Rat and Sportsman have taken the plunge and started brewing their own beers this year. On the surface this is a bold move, but I’ve sometimes wondered if their own beers are better than some of the great local beers they offered before. They are still the best pubs for beers brewed in Kirklees and Calderdale (along with the King’s Head), but I think the beer choice isn’t quite as good as before.<br />
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The Star and Grove are the tickers’ choice. Plenty of breweries and beers I haven’t heard of. Sometimes you take a punt but you’re limited by cash and time and in the end you don’t feel many of them are any better than west Yorkshire beers.<br />
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These are very minor quibbles, however, and I always enjoy my weekly visits (the King’s Head is fantastic on Sunday band day).<br />
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And it’s high time the Grove should be pub of the year. They have an astonishing choice of beers on bottle and draught.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">2 Vox/Zephyr, Huddersfield</span><br />
Two fantastic bars, independently-owned and great assets to the town which feel like home as soon as you walk in. Vox especially is a treat - comfy seats, great music and décor. No cask , though, and the bottled beer choice is small compared with the Grove's.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">3 The Sair, Linthwaite</span><br />
The Linfit beers are back<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">4 Jubilee Refreshment Rooms, Sowerby Bridge.</span><br />
The Sheffield Tap is getting all the praise as king of the railway pubs, but it seems slightly overrated. The revamp is nice but it still looks too new for me.<br />
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The Jubilee is a cosy place, with a good choice of beers. The restoration of the waiting room is such a lovely job with nice touches such as the railways posters, windows and lights. It has kept up its standards since opening.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">5 Stalybridge Buffet Bar</span><br />
And talking of station pubs – this is probably the best of the lot. It’s a great winter pub with a real coal fire and the extra room has made such a difference. It means you can usually get a seat. Sad to report that some tossers on the rail ale trail have forced this pub and others to offer plastic glasses.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">6 The Holly Bush, Hampstead</span><br />
One of the pubs I was really looking forward to visit on my London trip and probably my favourite of the day. It’s a Grade 2 listed building with wooden panelling - something I love in pubs. I also love the cosy rooms and nooks and crannies.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">7 Hand in Hand Brighton </span><br />
I visited nearly all the Brighton pubs in the Good Beer Guide and this was my favourite. Distinctive outside, with bright yellow walls, and tiny inside, with framed old pictures on the ceiling, old newspaper wallpaper, a display of ties and some lovely pies. Lovely Kemptown beers (brewed at the pub) and even an Ilkley guest.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">8 Kingston Arms, Cambridge </span><br />
Besides wooden panelling, I love pubs in rows of houses. For the Kingston, think the Big Six in Halifax but even classier! Huge arrange of ales, excellent food served late and a lovely lit courtyard, plus a chance to play Buckaroo and other childhood games.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">9 Old Hill Inn Chapel-le-Dale </span><br />
Fancy a hearty meal after the Three Peaks Walk? Head here – lovely food, nice ales and a cosy atmosphere. It feels like a farmer’s front room and there’s a dog who likes his tummy tickled.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">10 Sparrow Bier Cafe, Bradford </span><br />
One of the pubs you instantly feel at home in, but you’re not quite sure why. It appears to be an old shop with a small bar at the end. There are paint-splattered wooden floors which look like they need a polish and small chairs that reminded me of a school dinner hall. I probably like it because of the big window at the front and lovely paint job on the walls. Nice local beers too.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">11 Port Street Beer House/57 Thomas Street, Manchester </span><br />
Two of Manchester’s newest pubs which I’ve grown fond of. Port Street has a fairly anonymous frontage but is Tardis-like inside on two floors with plenty of seats and tables. Friendly staff and one of the few pubs where you can get Prospect beers.<br />
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As for Thomas Street, I don’t usually like small pubs as you end up sitting cheek and jowl by some right old twats. I went off the Blue Bell in York when I accidentally sat in a moaning scrote’s place - anyone would have thought I’d sat on his face. Thomas Street has about 20 seats around a big wooden table but it never feels too cheek by jowl.<br />
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</span><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">LONDON CRAWLING</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Forget your Time Out guides and your Rough Guides, the best way to discover London is the Camra Good Beer Guide (and an A-Z).</span><br />
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The beer guide reveals some fantastic pubs, of course, but also shows why London is extraordinary – and ordinary. You could be heading down a tiny alleyway in the City or Holborn to find a beautiful pub dating back 300 years or down a dreary suburban street with a bog-standard Wetherspoon’s at the end of it.<br />
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I lived in London for three years in the mid-90s and at least one weekend a month I’d pick an area with about five or six pubs in the Guide and head off – Wandsworth and Clapham, for example, or Teddington and Twickenham.<br />
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I built up a few favourite areas and pubs over the years and as I had an unexpected day in London in September I decided to do ‘a greatest hits’ of some of my favourites.<br />
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I wanted to go to east, north west and south west and back to the centre, but I only had about seven hours as I had to get a train in King’s Cross at 8pm. And as it was a bit of a last minute trip, I had no A-Z and didn’t want to buy another as I had hundreds at home. I also had no street names for the pubs and no train times. I trusted my memory, hoped there would be frequent trains and made up the route as I went along. It almost worked. Almost.<br />
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From King’s Cross I walked to Bloomsbury. One of the things I like most about London is how it changes from mile to mile, street to street, even building to building, so as you walk from the dual carriageway rush outside King’s Cross station, you are soon in a tranquil, relatively traffic-free area of little parks and impressive houses.<br />
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The bustle soon returns around Bloomsbury when you come to a huge, white, tiered apartment block which looks as though it should be on the sea front in Spain and takes an age to get around<br />
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The Lamb was my first port of call. It had dropped out of the 2011 Guide but is featured in the new 2012 edition. This Grade 2 listed boozer looks as though it hasn’t changed in 100 years, with its lovely curved bar and furnishings and the etched glass around the bar.<br />
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But I thought the pub was looking a little tired, to be honest. Maybe it was because I was so impressed with it the first time I went in. Did it need a good polish? Was the glass pub sign a little wonky? There was certainly no proper lock in the gents (cue loud coughing).<br />
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I had a Youngs Special, a new one on me, but like all the beers I had on my excursion, I really missed the sparkler – I noticed the bitterness of the beers without it. Mind you, I’m the sort of person who has two sugars in my coffee.<br />
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I walked to Goodge Street tube and headed to Woodford, where I first lived when I moved to London. I lodged in what appeared to be a converted porch in ‘Bates Motel’ (the slightly sinister landlord looked a little like Leeds United chairman Ken Bates).<br />
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I had to get a taxi to the next pub, the Travellers Friend, in Woodford Green which I’d assumed was right by the station.<br />
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I’d also forgotten that this part of east London is frequented by tight-lipped, deadpan Arthur Haynes-types, such as the taxi driver.<br />
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When he said the one-way system was so bad it was designed by a woman, I thought he was being postmodern – playing up to the ignorant taxi driver stereotype. He wasn’t.<br />
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The Travellers was as good as I remembered it, though - frosted glass frontage, wooden panelling and a chirpy young barman having to deal with more unsmiling Arthur Haynes-like taxi drivers. (“My son’s doing the knowledge,” one said and sniffed). I had Courage here, a beer I’ve never seen in the north.<br />
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Onto Hampstead, one of favourite parts of London. It has a real villagey feel and is different from anywhere else in the city. I used to live in Clapton and visiting Hampstead was like going on holiday. The 30-minute train ride from Hackney to Hampstead epitomises how London can change so quickly and so much.<br />
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I spent a magical December afternoon on a crawl in Hampstead which ended with a brass band playing carols on a cobbled street and I also remember a lovely summer’s day in the Magdala pub where Ruth Ellis, the last women to be hanged in Britain, shot dead her abusive lover (the bullet holes are in the wall outside the pub, apparently).<br />
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I thought the train would take me to the Magdala but by chance rather than design I arrived at the right station for the Holly Bush, the pub I really wanted to visit and probably my favourite of the day. It’s another Grade 2 listed building and another with wooden panelling. I love the cosy rooms and nooks and crannies. (Pictured - a doorway opposite the pub)<br />
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Hampstead is posh, of course. A woman in a huge brown leather hat eyed me and my Co-op bag with slight alarm while a gilded youth was listening to his music in the street on a laptop (a LAPTOP I tell yee). I paid £2 for a sausage roll (a very nice sausage roll though, and huge – like a rolled-up carpet).<br />
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Richmond was my next stop and it was on the long journey down there that I realised I would be spending more time on trains than in pubs.<br />
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I’d started in Bloomsbury at 1.30pm, arrived in Woodford at 245, reached Hampstead by 415 and was in Richmond by 545. If I’d had a few more hours I’d have gone to the Rose and Crown, in Stoke Newington, the Royal Oak, Borough, and a Soho pub, the Dog and Duck maybe.<br />
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But while I was in Richmond, I feared for the first time that I might miss my 8pm Kings Cross train.<br />
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I was looking for The Watermans. I assumed it was down an alleyway opposite the station towards the river, but I couldn’t find the right alleyway or the river and ended up in a disappointing Greene King pub on the green. Time was pressing and I gave up my search.<br />
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The final stop was Belgravia. Another ‘holiday’ destination.<br />
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Like Oxford Street and the deserted streets of Mayfair or Kings Cross and the back streets around it, I enjoy the contrast between the noisy dual carriageway and the quiet streets off it.<br />
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The Nags Head was another pub which wowed me the first I went in – unspoilt, nicely furnished and with the lowest bar counter in London – but like The Lamb I felt it was looking rather ordinary. Perhaps my taste in pubs has changed. I drank Adnams, which I hardly ever drink and won’t be drinking again for a few years.<br />
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I made it back to King’s Cross with about 30 minutes to spare. I’d spent too long on trains and not enough time in pubs and while some pubs didn’t quite live up to expectations, the day reminded me that London is a great city.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GROVE'S GREAT BRITISH PUB HONOUR</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 11: The Grove, in Huddersfield, is featured in Great British Pubs, a new Camra book.</span><br />
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It's a fantastic honour as only about 200 boozers are featured. The book, by top pub writer Adrian Tierney-Jones, is divided into various categories (eg: best seaside pubs, best pub games).<br />
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The Grove is featured under best beer range, with a huge photo, and is also under the community pubs section. Surely it's time for Huddersfield Camra to honour this pub as the best in the town? It's not everyone's cup of tea but it's hugely popular and has done so much for the Huddersfield pub scene.<br />
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Good cask beer is Adrian's starting point for all his choices in his book but the varied categories give him a chance to highlight pubs that don't appear in the Good Beer Guide.<br />
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He's spot on with a lot of his choices - West Riding Refreshment Rooms, Dewsbury and Buffet Bar, Stalybridge are in the railway pubs section; North Bar, Leeds and Port Street, Manchester are under city pubs; The Ship, in Anglesey is under seaside pubs (and should be under food pubs too); Briton's Protection, Manchester and Crown Posada, Newcastle are part of the heritage boozers section (surprisingly the Adelphi in Leeds is also in this section rather than the Victoria - the Adelphi has been tarted up a little and the beer selection is inferior, but I'm being picky).<br />
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Two excellent pubs in Bishop's Castle, Shropshire, are highlighted - the Six Bells, under brewpubs and Three Tuns (brewery tap). The Marble Arch, in Manchester is also in the latter category (and perhaps it should be in both) while my favourite Glasgow boozer Babbity Bowster is in under entertainment pubs.<br />
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Great British Pubs is beautifully designed, well-written and easy to use. There are almost too many categories, some of which overlap, but this is a minor quibble that doesn't spoil a good book.<br />
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<a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKMLxCVqB-zEi-UN8li5eD6v_TC85A6ilTH0jVE9oH4gXVf6-L"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRKMLxCVqB-zEi-UN8li5eD6v_TC85A6ilTH0jVE9oH4gXVf6-L" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 79px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 168px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">LINDLEY TO GET A DECENT BAR AT LAST?</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 11: One of the great mysteries about Lindley is - why isn't there a decent pub or bar?</span><br />
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Lindley is one of the loveliest parts of Huddersfield with some great cafes and restaurants, which specialise in well-made, locally-sourced food. But the pubs, while attractive on the outside, are uninspiring inside, with a bog-standard selection of unremarkable beers. Nearly all are owned by big pub companies and are a classic example of their characterless boozers, despite the friendly staff.<br />
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An Ossett pub could clean up here, as could the owners of Vox or The Sportsman.<br />
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But at last there is hope for lovers of decent pubs and bars. Eric's Resturant (no relation) is opening a bar next door to his restaurant (Eric's Bar) - and if it's half as good as the restaurant it will be great.<br />
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Eric's is a lovely place, beautifully done out inside while retaining original features such as the fireplaces. The food holds its own with Michelin-type places such as the Northcote near Clitheroe.<br />
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Work on the bar has started and while no completion date has been announced it will, like the restaurant's Slaithwaite bread and Bolster Moor Farm meat, be keeping local with bottles of Mallinson's, Dark Arts and, a bit further afield, Copper Dragon.<br />
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<a href="http://www.jubileerefreshmentrooms.co.uk/Images/Events%202011/no_bang.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.jubileerefreshmentrooms.co.uk/Images/Events%202011/no_bang.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 321px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 221px;" /></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">NO BANG BONFIRE NIGHT</span><br />
Nov 11: My kind of Bonfire Night: No Bang Bonfire Night and a chance to rekindle Calderdale's smallest bonfire - the wood-burning stove at the Jubilee Refreshment Rooms, in Sowerby Bridge. PLUS PARKIN!<br />
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<a href="http://www.markettowntaverns.co.uk/uploads/arcadia-exterior.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.markettowntaverns.co.uk/uploads/arcadia-exterior.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 165px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 220px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">MARKET TOWN TAVERNS SOLD</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 11: Market Town Taverns, which runs some of my favourite pubs, has been bought by the owner of Okells Brewery.</span><br />
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Heron and Brearley describes itself as the Isle of Man’s largest hospitality company. Founded as a wine and spirit business in 1898, it also runs pubs and newsagents on the island and is also a drinks wholesaler, logistics firm and air conditioning specialist.<br />
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Market Town Taverns has done a fantastic job rejuvenating unpromising shops and pubs into attractive, characterful boozers with an excellent range of beer and food. Bar T’At in Ilkley is good, Veritas in Leeds has great food but Arcadia, in Headingley (pictured) is my favourite – how the firm managed to a convert a boxy little bank into such a lovely pub always amazes me.<br />
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Founded in 1999 Market Town operates 15 pubs across north and west Yorkshire. Like Ossett Brewery, it shows the big pub companies how to create great boozers. Heron and Brearley would be mad to tinker with the formula.<br />
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The Yorkshire Post says Market Towns Tavern will be run as an autonomous company and owner Ian Fozard will stay on for a year. Heron and Bailey will look to expand in the north of England.<br />
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Heron and Brearley’s retail director Steven Taylor said: "An acquisition package of this calibre is extremely rare, given the level of consolidation industry-wide in the current economic climate. Market Town Taverns is a well-run operation and the company’s business model, with its strong focus on delivering excellent customer service, complements that of Heron and Brearley.<br />
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"We shall be working with Market Town Taverns’ managing director Ian Fozard to integrate the company into the Heron and Brearley group and take the business forward into what I am confident will be a new and exciting direction."<br />
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Market Town employs around 200 staff, and turnover increased last year from £5.2m to around £6.6m.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">YORKSHIRE/GREATER MANCHESTER PUBS OF THE YEAR</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sep 11: I've mentioned the size and variety of Yorkshire below, so you'll forgive me that not only haven't I heard of Camra's Yorkshire pub of the year, I've never heard of the village it's in.</span><br />
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The winner is the Rose & Crown, in Rawcliffe, described by Camra as:"Outstanding local village pub well known in the region, and winner of numerous local CAMRA branch awards, including six times Pub of the Year and Yorkshire runner-up. A warm welcome awaits you from the owner, locals and Bruno the dog. Book-lined walls and an open fire provide a haven on a cold winter's day, the perfect place to sample the four guest ales or Westons cider. The patio or river bank beckon in warmer weather."<br />
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The Rose and Crown beat Huddersfield's representative The Rat and Ratchet and others in the county and is one of 16 pubs around the country that will go forward to compete for the national title.<br />
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Greater Manchester's representative is The Magnet, in Stockport. Camra says: "Once a failing keg pub, the Magnet was rescued then renovated to become CAMRA Branch Pub of the Year 2011. It boasts 14 handpumps for beer and a draught cider. A large foreign bottled beer range completes the now rosy picture. It has a bustling vault to the left, leading to a lower pool room, and a series of rooms separated by arched doorways on the right. The pub is home to the Cellar Rat Brewery."<br />
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Merseyside, Cheshire & North Wales's representative is the Bridge End Inn, in Ruabon, Wrexham, while winner in West Pennines (Lancashire and Cumbria) is the Swan with Two Necks, in Pendleton.<br />
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Pubs are judged on atmosphere, decor, customer service, value for money, clientele mix, and most importantly, the quality of the real ale and cider/perry.<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2619/5810138038_1586662000_z.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2619/5810138038_1586662000_z.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 340px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 280px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SEX AND THE CITY: AN OUTING IN KNARESBOROUGH</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 11: There are signs on the boundaries of West Lancashire (state capital Ormskirk) which feature the phrase ‘West Lancashire: It’s Got It All’. Have you really got it all West Lancashire? Have you? </span><br />
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Are the lost wonders of the ancient world hidden in the snug of Buck i’ th' Vine pub in Ormskirk? Have you got smiling trifles, tap dancing fridges and ferrets that do impressions of James Cagney? Have you West Lancashire?<br />
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Yorkshire – it hasn’t quite got it all, but whenever I venture out of the West Yorkshire enclave I’m struck by the sheer variety of the county. The flat land and flat pronunciation in the east (own = urn, road = rerd), the market squares, rolling hills and rabid Tories of the north, the glories of Sheffield and the hard towns around it in the south.<br />
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And Knaresborough? Knaresborough’s like fucking Shrewsbury. At least that’s what it reminded me of, with rivers dominating both towns.<br />
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Knaresborough train station looks like it’s been reopened as part of a heritage line - there’s a slightly model railway feel about it, with gates you have to open yourself to get across the line.<br />
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The station manages to partially obscure the first pub on our travels - the huge Mitre, another Markets Tavern gem of eight ales and lovely décor. It was pub of the day.<br />
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Down the steep, narrow cobbled streets, reminiscent of Robins Hood Bay, we came to the river (when I say we, I’m not Prince Harry or anything, I was travelling with Otley’s own royalty, Richard - King of Otley). Very pleasant but no pubs (the river area, not Richard who has his own gin palace).<br />
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The first pub at the top of the hill was the slightly forbidding-looking, brown brick Cross Keys, with a familiar name at the helm - Ossett. The West Yorkshire brewery has a particular style inside its boozers (wooden floors, exposed brick, smart furniture and pictures) and avoids the fake plastic cosiness of new chain pubs. Good selection of beers here too.<br />
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Shortly after leaving the Cross Keys, as I was eating a chip sandwich in the square, I was almost run over by Kristin Scott Thomas.<br />
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At least it looked like her. She was driving a vast 4x4, wearing gold-rimmed shades and from the side of her mouth a fag the size of a rolled newspaper.<br />
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And that’s the thing about North Yorkshire, you forget how moneyed it is. Harrogate is just down the road – a place so posh the graffiti’s written in Latin.<br />
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After the Kristin incident, we travelled to So bar where groups of fashionably dressed women in their 30s and 40s were consuming bottles of wine. It was very Sex and the City - until we went in and lowered the tone with our pie-crumbed clothes and sweaty demeanour.<br />
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So has three beers on but the quality of the beer is (guffaw) so-so.<br />
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The remaining pubs were a bit of a disappointment – the famous Blind Jack’s is probably more atmospheric at night but seemed like a tired Old Cock (stop sniggering at the back, the Old Cock is an Otley pub with similar layout and feel).<br />
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Blind Jack’s, pictured above, was full of character but it wasn’t a patch on Nellie’s in Beverley, a pub of similar vintage.<br />
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Marquis of Granby is a nice enough multi-room pub, but like most Sam Smiths’ outlets it’s slightly underwhelming.<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_f50c7552c2_z.jpg?zz=1"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_f50c7552c2_z.jpg?zz=1" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 440px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 295px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BACK OF THE NET (AGAIN)!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Sportsman, Huddersfield</span>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">has won a national Camra/English Heritage award.<br />
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</span>After winning joint pub of the year in the town and brewing its own beer, it's been a great 12 months for the pub<br />
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I don't want to get too Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen on your ass but the owners have transformed a 1930 corner boozer, keeping its best features, such as the wall seating and curved bar, and decorated it beautifully inside and out. They also keep it tidy.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR: UPDATED</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Barnsley:</span> Market, Elsecar - never been but this is the fourth time the pub has won the award in the last five years. Local Camra branch says pub is unspoilt with a fantastic range of ales.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bradford:</span> Fighting Cock - a weary way out of the town centre but a wonderful pub - unspoilt, two-rooms, lovely beers.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Brighouse: </span>Red Rooster - the only disadvantage about this characterful boozer is that it's too far from the railway station!<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Heavy Woollen (Dewsbury):</span> West Riding Refreshment Rooms - an absolute corker. Lovely decor and beers, hearty food and bluesy bands.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Huddersfield:</span> Rat and Ratchet/Sportsman - the best two pubs in the town. See below or Best Pubs<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Keighley and Craven: </span>King's Arms, Silsden. Never been but the local branch says it's a multi-room community pub with a real fire. Theakston‘s Best Bitter and Saltaire Blonde are the regulars with plenty of local guests.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Leeds:</span> Old Cock, Otley. Fantastic achievement in its first year. Characterful cottagey pub with a good range of beers<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">North Manchester: </span> Marble, in Rochdale Road - the sloping tiled floors, the hefty meals and tables, the Ginger Marble that tingles. The pub's a gem. (See Best Pubs)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Rochdale/Oldham/Bury:</span> The Hare and Hounds, Holcombe, Bury. Never been but it must be the only pub with its own alecam of beers on offer - 10 northern ones last time I looked<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sheffield: </span>Kelham Island for eighth year in a row. I've said it before - good but not that good. Sheaf or Fat Cat anyone?<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Stockport:</span> Magnet. Never been but it's multi-room with 13 ales and its own brewery. Owners say: 'We <span style="color: black;">try to have at least one stout, one porter, one pale ale, one mild and one red beer on at all times.</span>' Hurrah!<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Trafford and Hulme: </span>(including Manchester City Centre south): Marble, Chorlton (see below)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Wigan:</span> Royal Oak. An impressive building which wouldn't look out of place in a Georgian square in London. It's years since I've been here. I prefer the branch runner-up The Anvil, a buzzing place with plenty of local beers.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">York:</span> Brigantes. Again, good but not that good. The Swan, Golden Ball and York Terrier are nicer pubs and the beer is as good, if not better.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">TUNNEL END INN CLOSED - NOOOOOOOOOO!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 11: I'm shocked and saddened to hear that one of the loveliest country pubs in the Huddersfield area has closed.<br />
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The Tunnel End Inn, in Marsden, would have been a perfect spot in the current 'heatwave', but I suspect it's been struggling with the harsh winters over the last two years.<br />
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A note on the pub windows talks of 'the economic climate', 'more outgoings than income' and 'too many quiet times'.<br />
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A notice on the pub website says it's a temporary closure 'until further notice'.<br />
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Bev and Gary have run the pub superbly for the last nine years. The pub is slightly off the beaten track - about 10 minutes from the train station and out of Marsden village - but the couple's enthusiasm, ideas and reputation for good food and drink seemed to be the model of getting people into an out-of-the-way pub.<br />
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It's Black Sheep owned but they had guest beers on - all in good order - and simple but hearty food, varied occasionally for various theme nights. There was always a cheerful welcome.<br />
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If Bev and Gary can't make a go of the Tunnel End, I really fear for its future.<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_f50c7552c2_z.jpg?zz=1"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_f50c7552c2_z.jpg?zz=1" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 440px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 295px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">HUDDERSFIELD'S PUBS OF THE YEAR</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 11: For the first time since God was a lad, Huddersfield's Camra pub of the year title is shared by the Rat and Ratchet and The Sportsman.<span style="font-size: 130%;"></span></span><br />
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I can't argue with these choices. Both pubs offer pleasant surroundings, friendly staff and a beer choice that's like a good wedding disco - plenty of familiar beers and breweries which hit the spot, like tunes such as Groove Is In The Heart and Common People (strained analogy alert!).<br />
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The Grove and The Star will have no doubt run them close (both are pleasant and friendly joints) but you have to take a bit of a guess with the beers and breweries at times. The pubs do have a few regular breweries but the pubs appear to be aimed at tickers and there are too many times when I've been disappointed (by the beers not the tickers).<br />
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The Rat now has Jones's fabulous pies and Yorkshire pasties (same as Cornwall's but changed for EU reasons) but the flaming jukey STILL hasn't been fixed (it must be months). The jukey is what puts the pub into the all-time great category and I hope the pub owners haven't bowed to Camra fundamentalists who hate jukeys as they drown out their loud droning voices.<br />
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The Sportsman now has hearty food all day and night. Two or three dishes expertly done.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Trafford and Hulme's pub of the year is The Marble in Chorlton</span><br />
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The Marble Brewery pub, which opened in 1998, set the trend for independent pubs & bars in the area, many of which are now in the GBG.<br />
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Marble Manchester Bitter, Marble Pint and Marble Ginger are always available on hand pump alongside two other beers from the Marble range (always including one of Chocolate, Porter or Stout). Two ever-changing guest ales come from some of the country's other top microbreweries such as Thornbridge, Abbeydale, Dark Star, Pictish, Phoenix and Hawkshead.<br />
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It's a nice little bar with good beer although Chorlton itself is slightly overrated (bijou village my arse).<br />
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<a href="http://portstreetbeerhouse.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/portstreet_by_smatthes_002.jpeg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://portstreetbeerhouse.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/portstreet_by_smatthes_002.jpeg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 227px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 440px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GROVE, HUDDERSFIELD V<br />
PORT STREET BEER HOUSE, MANCHESTER</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 11: So I rolled up to Manchester's trendy new beer bar, Port Street Beer House (pictured). It's on the edge of the city's ever expanding Northern Quarter, but set apart from the main part and situated among the back street clothes shops that film companies use for Victorian London or Thirties New York.</span><br />
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The nuts and bolts boozer, the Crown and Anchor, is next door and is easy to spot. Port Street, by contrast, is easy to miss at night. It has a rather anonymous frontage with a bouncer outside.<br />
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Inside it's smart - polished floors,nice furniture. It's slightly cramped downstairs, but there's a bigger, nicer room upstairs and a surprisingly pleasant beer garden, considering the relatively drab location.<br />
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Five handpulls on, including Thornbridge and Prospect (in good order), plus a selection of bottles from US and Europe. Not a massive selection, as it's a relatively small bar, but it is well-stocked with staff.<br />
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Port Street has been well-received and is full of trendy twenty and thirty somethings (some very fashionable beards - everyone was Will Oldhamed-up).<br />
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But it got me thinking - this is what The Grove in Huddersfield is doing, but on a much larger scale. (The Grove has 18 handpumps and 230 different types of bottled beers).<br />
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And if The Grove was in the Northern Quarter, it wouldn't just become trendy, it would be worshipped as a god.<br />
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So, sometimes, it's all about location, location, location and pubs like Port Street, a decent but slightly bland place, are over-praised, and The Grove is under-rated.<br />
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(By the way, The Grove has been giving away its wobbly chairs - one regular was seen carrying his around town - now I can't blame my wobbly arse on the furniture)<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">TRAIN STATION PUBS (NEW AND OLD)</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 11: A new train station is to open in York in late June, if planning permission is granted.<br />
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The Model Railway Society tearoom, built in 1906 and next to the hotel (I think), is to undergo a £200,000 conversion by the people who run Sheffield and London Euston's train station pubs.<br />
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It will become The York Tap and feature 20 cask ales.<br />
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MD Jamie Hawksworth told the York Press: "This place is going to be breathtaking. When people walk in and look around, they are going to say wow. And it’s been sitting here all this time."<br />
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I must admit I was slightly underwhelmed by the Sheffield conversion - apart from the bar area it doesn't have the character of the West Yorkshire and Stalybridge station pubs.<br />
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And will the York Tap be too far for inclusion in the Rail Ale Trail in West Yorks?<br />
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One pub that should definitely be on the trail (even though there's no direct route to Huddersfield) is the Jubilee Refreshment Rooms in Sowerby Bridge.<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2586/3765319512_12ee0dbab6_z.jpg?zz=1"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2586/3765319512_12ee0dbab6_z.jpg?zz=1" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><br />
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I returned there this week for the first time since it opened in 2009 and it really is a gem.<br />
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Some pubs tend to look a bit shabby after the first year of opening but the Jubilee, pictured, is still looking immaculate. The original sash windows let in plenty of light and the lovely old light fittings, like huge jellyfish, give it real character.<br />
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There's a real fire at one end and a comparatively small bar at the other. Four ales were on when I was there - all in good order (among them were Millstone, Phoenix's mild and Ilkley Mary Jane) as was the delicious slice of cake I had.<br />
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Food is now served at lunchtime and early evening as well as breakfast. There's pie and cake to keep you going in the meantime.<br />
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Get down there - it's a real gem (how about a decent station pub in Brighouse now?)<br />
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Finally, am I going mad? Has an extension been added to Fanny's Ale House in Saltaire? It looks a perfect match with the rest of the pub, but doesn't look brand new. The extension, if it is one, is behind the downstairs bar and fire. Pub lovely as ever and 'extension' will come in handy on busy Saturdays and beer festival days.<br />
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<a href="http://www.richardhamer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Otley.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.richardhamer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Otley.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 175px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 640px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">THE REVIVAL OF OTLEY?</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 11: One of Yorkshire's greatest real ale towns could be about to enjoy a revival.</span><br />
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Otley was once rumoured to have more pubs per head of population than anywhere in Britain. There were once 15 pubs in the town centre and two on the fringes, most serving real ale.<br />
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But in 2006 the rot set in. First, the town's key pub, the Bowling Green, a fabulous characterful boozer, closed. This was a huge loss in itself but it was followed by the Summercross, the Fleece, the Red Lion, the Three Horseshoes, the Woolpack and the Black Horse.<br />
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Two or three years ago, the Junction stood alone as the last remaining must-visit pub in town, with its wide selection of real ales and real fire. The Manor House and Bay Horse were also worth a visit, the latter for its Tetley Mild.<br />
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But it was a shocking decline and one that received more national attention than usual thanks to the political champion of real ale and real pubs Greg Mulholland, MP, whose patch covers the area.<br />
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He campaigned against the sale of pubs which were vital community hubs and rental rises in existing boozers.<br />
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Otley also suffered from the relaxation of licensing laws. It had been one of the few places in the country allowed to open all day because of its markets.<br />
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Now things are looking up.<br />
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As reported below, the Bowling Green has been taken over by Wetherspoon and although it has that feeling of most Wetherspoon's in old buildings - like an impression of ye olde pub - they've done a decent job.<br />
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Opposite the Bowling Green is a new real ale pub, the Old Cock (see review below).<br />
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And now the WharfeBank Brewery are to transform Otley’s oldest pub, The Fleece, working in partnership with Punch Taverns in a £400,000 makeover.<br />
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Market Taverns, one of the best independent pub companies, are to reopen The Three Horseshoes in the spring.<br />
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And the Black Horse, one of the most prominent pubs in town, is to reopen in March.<br />
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The Red Lion has since reopened although it has a much tamer beer selection than a few years ago<br />
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My Otley snout King Richard of Otley, who has helped a lot with this article, sounds a note of caution about this news.<br />
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He said: "I'm not convinced the Fleece will work, too far out of town, and even the Three Horseshoes is on the fringe. You have to bear in mind most people in Otley just want to get pissed, shag and fight. And with the Tories screwing us over money in what is essentially a working class town is going to be tight.<br />
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"Most pubs are already dead during the week; about a month ago I walked past the Red Lion at about 10.30 and the landlord was closing for the evening."<br />
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To read more of Richard's thoughts, see his <a href="http://www.richardhamer.co.uk/">ace website</a><br />
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He also supplied the pic above<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;">PUBS, PUBS, PUBS!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 10: There are so many good pubs opening or being spruced up at the moment, it's hard to keep up - so I'm overdue reviews of a new one in Otley (The Old Cock), a revamped old favourite in the town (The Bowling Green), Ossett's Wakey pub The Hop, The Bull and Fairhouse (formerly O'Donoghue's), also of Wakey, and the magnificent Castle Hotel in Manchester.</span><br />
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First, Finbarr Saunders's dream pub The Old Cock, pictured (I've been meaning to LOOK UP The Old Cock, it's HARD to find, fnarr-fnarr!). This is a great boozer with superb attention to detail. The pub is two old cottages which were recently restaurants. The cottage-y feel has been retained with stone floors, low ceilings, beams, and a real fire.<br />
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There are two downstairs rooms and an upstairs room with a relatively small bar downstairs packed with eight beers and three ciders (plenty of local beers). Attention to details? The descriptions of beers above the bar and the top-notch pies and butties - so there's no reason to leave the pub and look for food. Staff are welcoming and friendly.<br />
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The pub is next door to Brian Pickles Lawnmowers (they're very tasty) and just across the road from the X84 bus stop to and from Leeds. Well worth a visit.<br />
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It's a brave move to open around the same time as the mighty Wetherspoon's which is just opposite in the Bowling Green, but according to my old snout Richard the King of Otley, the Bowling Green is attracting a different market - those who like their booze cheap above all.<br />
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The Bowling Green hasn't been changed outside, with its yellow stonework in good order. But inside it's completely different. Gone are the famous stuffed animals and other artefacts to be replaced by a rather fusty fake country house feel of panelling and pictures. The pub has been extended, so the bar is in an old outhouse behind the original pub and between the two buildings there is another room with a glass ceiling.<br />
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It was packed when I went in on the Saturday afternoon before Christmas but lacked the old charm of the Bowling Green.<br />
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Onto Wakey. O'Donoghue's was always a decent boozer with good beer and bands. It's gone up a notch in quality since Great Heck brewery took it over. The layout is the same with a stage by the door, a bar to the right as you walk in and rooms further in. But it's been nicely painted and furnished with comfy seats and rough-hewn tables. The beer is in good order (several Great Hecks and a couple from Beer Co when I was there) and the staff are friendly and attentive.<br />
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Nice little circuit now with this pub, Boon's, Harry's and the Hop are all within about five minutes from the station, avoiding the stag do central of the centre (one old boozer is now called Bing Bada Boom, exterior preserved, inside like a rollerdisco).<br />
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The Hop, like its Leeds counterpart, is music-orientated, brick-heavy and slightly stark without bands. Beer's decent, of course, being an Ossett pub<br />
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Onto the Castle in Manchester.<br />
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This reopened in April 2009 and at first nothing much changed. The front room with bar looked pleasingly cosy, as always, and the two rooms behind were unchanged. I thought they'd been too cautious and were trying not to trendify a characterful pub.<br />
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Just look at it now! The layout is unchanged but the owners have uncovered some beautiful features - the ornate ceilings, the wooden floors and fittings, especially in the band room which looks like an old-fashioned music hall. No wonder they can't change much - it's a Grade 2 listed, 200 years old building and the new owners were fans of the old boozer anyway.<br />
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They've done a beautiful job - nice beer, decent jukey and packed when I was in there one midweek night in December. The clientele has change from 40-50 somethings and teen emos in the back to trendy 20-30 somethings. The barman looks like something out of Quality Street with his mustard-coloured waistcoat and twirly moustache - but he's good. Robinson's beers - at least six.<br />
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The Castle has also started doing hearty food which sounds so tempting on Twitter - beef and mushroom casserole, for example. I had a beef and dumpling casserole - really tasty gravy (wine in I think), quality meat and a slightly small dumpling. Just what I needed on a cold day and head and shoulders above the usual pub food.<br />
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Finally, a hurrah for Huddersfield's great pubs. I spent a Saturday afternoon in December showing a couple of Manchester pals around. The Kings Head, Rat, Grove and Sportsman were all packed and the beers were in great order. The Star, too, was in great form when I went there a week later.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">VERITAS, LEEDS</span></b><br />
<b>Nov 10: Yet again a small company shows the big boys how to do up a pub and attract customers.</b><br />
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Market Town Taverns have taken the old Waterhole (itself a former Hogshead), opposite the hospital in Leeds city centre, into a really lovely pub - light, airy, good ales, simple but well-made food, friendly staff and a first for a pub I've been in - a cheese stall!<br />
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I first became aware of Market Town Taverns' skill with The Narrow Boat, Skipton's best pub, and especially Arcadia, in Headingley - a boxy Lloyds Bank at the end of a tired looking shopping arcade which was transformed into a cosy attractive pub with an excellent choice of ales.<br />
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It's not such a silk-ear-out-of-a-sow's-purse job in Veritas, in Great George Street. It's a corner pub with plenty of windows, so it was always a pleasant enough place as a Hogshead but rather bland and not a pub you'd particularly go out of your way to visit, especially with the Victoria nearby.<br />
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The layout hasn't changed inside but with its cream and blue decor, light wood floors and furniture and attractive lights, it's a real treat now. Eight handpumps, seven ales when I was in - only one dark one but the excellent Mary Jane from Ilkley and Moorhouse's Blonde Witch were in good order.<br />
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Food is served all day and night with various menus covering toast in the morning, pies,steaks and other pub favourites in the evening and cheese and/or cold meats up to closing time. I had the gammon and the lovely Mrs O the lamb pie which were both superior to usual pub food with a real mint kick in the pie that judging by the colour of the meat was homemade and a cut above the usual.<br />
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Plenty of customers in the afternoon and evening, with the food looking to be a hit at night with many.<br />
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I'm sure Veritas has something to do with truth in Latin.<br />
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I love this pub, truly.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR - REGIONAL WINNERS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 10: And the regional winners are:</span><br />
Greater Manchester: Knott Bar, Manchester.<br />
Merseyside / Cheshire / North Wales: Brewery Tap, Chester<br />
North West: Taps, Lytham St Annes<br />
Yorkshire: Ferryboat,Thorganby<br />
These and 12 other regional winners will be up for pub of the year. Announcement next year.<br />
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Pubs are chosen on customer service, decor, clientele mix, value for money, atmosphere and quality of the beer and cider.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR 2010</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jun 10: It's that time of the year when Campaign for Real Ale branches vote for their pubs of the year. Here are some local favourites.</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">BRADFORD:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Fanny's Ale House, Saltaire</span> - a wonderful pub, especially in the winter with the real fires blazing away in the dark at the back. With its wooden floors and real gaslights, you'd think Fanny's had been here for centuries but it was only converted from a pet shop in 1997. Cracking array of 10 ales, many local, from the small, usually busy, bar. John Peel's wife was born upstairs.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">HALIFAX AND CALDERDALE:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Old Ship, Brighouse.</span> Haven't been here for a couple of years but it's got a good reputation for being a smart, well-run pub. Seven real ales on.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">HEAVY WOOLLEN (DEWSBURY ETC):</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">New Charnwood, Heckmondwike</span>. Never been. Local Camra branch say it's an impressive building which used to concentrate on food only but now has four handpulls as well as quality food.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">HIGH PEAK:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Buffet Bar, Stalybridge Station.</span> The best of the train station boozers with its narrow corridor, atmospheric rooms and real fire. Good selection of local ales.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">HUDDERSFIELD:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Rat and Ratchet (pictured).</span> The best in town. Cosy pub, great selection of ales and good jukey. See reviews elsewhere.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">KEIGHLEY:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Maypole, Long Preston.</span> Came here for a pre-Christmas snifter a couple of years ago and very nice it was too, with its real fire, hearty food and oak benches. Moorhouses, Theakstons and two guests on. Run by the same couple for the last 26 years.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">LEEDS:</span> To Follow<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">LIVERPOOL:</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Dispensary</span>. Not sure if it's still owned by Cains but this is a great example of a pub that's been spruced up without being spoiled. Ship and Mitre and Fly in the Loaf were runners-up<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">NORTH MANCHESTER (including Salford):</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Angel, Manchester.</span> I've always liked this place in its various incarnations. After being run as a gastropub, it's now concentrating on beer again with six on handpump and a few unfamiliar ones when I was there this month. The nearby Marble Arch and Bar Fringe were contenders this year as were Salford's New Oxford and Crescent.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SHEFFIELD:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Kelham Island Tavern </span>wins for the seventh time in a row. It's the Yorkshire and national champ too (Yorkshire winner is selected in September, national next year). It's a good pub but not a great one and there are better boozers in the city (Sheaf, Rising Sun).<br />
Top 20, as voted for by Sheffield members (last year's positions in brackets):<br />
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1. Kelham Island Tavern, Kelham Island (1)<br />
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2. Fat Cat, Kelham Island (2)<br />
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3. Harlequin, Bridgehouses (8)<br />
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4. Sheaf View, Heeley (5)<br />
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5. New Barrack Tavern, Hillsborough (3)<br />
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6. Hillsborough Hotel, Upperthorpe (10)<br />
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7. Rising Sun, Nether Green (7)<br />
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8. Bath Hotel, Sheffield City Centre (4)<br />
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9. University Arms, Sheffield City Centre (9)<br />
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10. Devonshire Cat, Sheffield City Centre (6)<br />
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11. Wellington, Shalesmoor (11)<br />
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12. Coach & Horses, Dronfield (14) (District POTY)<br />
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13. Commercial, Chapeltown (12)<br />
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14. Ranmoor Inn, Ranmoor (13)<br />
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15. Rawson Spring, Hillsborough (-)<br />
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16. White Lion, Heeley (-)<br />
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17. Plough Inn, Low Bradfield (16=)<br />
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18. Angler’s Rest, Millers Dale (20)<br />
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19. Nag’s Head, Loxley (-)<br />
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20. Cobden View, Crookes (18=)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SOUTHPORT:</span> To Follow<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">TRAFFORD AND HULME (including part of the city centre):</span> The Knott, Manchester, retains its branch title. Under the arches of Deansgate station, this is a very pleasant pub with Marble beers and lovely food. The Old Market Tavern in Altrincham and Electrik in Chorlton were joint second.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">WIGAN:</span> Masons Arms, Billinge. Never been.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">YORK:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Ferry Boat Inn, Thorganby</span>. Shamefully I don't know where Thorganby is. Licensee Olive has been there for SIXTY years. Four beers on, many local. Here's what York Camra say about the pub: "The original bar is small and cosy with a real fire and convivial ambience – it’s virtually impossible to avoid being drawn into conversation. A sunny, spacious extension was added some years ago. It opens straight out on to large lawns sloping down to the river Derwent."<br />
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Never mind real ales it's another real fire pub!<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/2723332822_4f64af029a_o.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/2723332822_4f64af029a_o.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 345px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 580px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">IT WAS JUST A STAGE THEY WERE GOING THROUGH</span><span style="font-size: 130%;">!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 10: Was it three years ago that the West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury, were having problems getting permission for their stage? Well it's all done and dusted now and very nice it looks too - like an extension to the old station itself. Not surprisingly they are calling it Platform 3.</span><br />
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To celebrate its proper opening they are having a musical knees up from August 13- 15, with plenty of good local bands and, of course, good local beers.<br />
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Itinerary:<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Friday 13 August</span><br />
4 pm - Adrian Ingram's Jazz Dawgs: Back by popular demand, Adrian is internationally renowned and ‘one of jazz’s most gifted guitar players’ “These guys play a mixture of West Coast Swing, Cheesy tunes and good time music. Surprisingly good too!”<br />
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8.30pm – Mad Jack and the Hatters: New 3-piece rockabilly band heavily influenced by 20’s – 60’s American stuff<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Saturday 14 August<br />
</span>4pm – TBC (a well-known act who often make an appearance at these sorts of dos)<br />
8.30pm – Chris Martin: Hot from the Crown of Lights festival and Dewsbury Beer Festival, acoustic tunes and tall tales from the Man-in-the-hat (so not the Coldplay one then)<br />
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Sunday 15 August </span><br />
3pm – Fat Stanley: 9-piece Funk/Soul/Rhythm & Blues outfit<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">HUDDERSFIELD FOOD AND DRINK FESTIVAL'S REAL ALE PUB TRAIL</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jul 10: Taking part are The Star, The Rat, The Head of Steam, The Vulcan, The Kings Head, The Sportsman, The County, The Grove.</span><br />
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Pick up a trail flyer, visit all eight pubs, buy a pint or a half of real ale and receive a stamp on your flyer. Return your completed flyer to the Huddersfield Food and Drink Festival information marquee between 12-15 August and receive a free festival glass.<br />
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The festival itself is in St George's Square from August 12-15, The Sportsman, The Star and Jones's Pies will be among those putting up stalls.<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2724/4475448895_8189968e98_o.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2724/4475448895_8189968e98_o.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 277px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 480px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">LEEDS' NEWEST PUB</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 10: The Ossett Brewery empire has opened its first Leeds outpost - The Hop, in railway arches roughly underneath Platform 16-17 at Leeds station.</span><br />
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I must admit I thought this area of Leeds - Granary Wharf - was dying on its arse, with only a Japanese restaurant remaining. But a new hotel and apartments have gone up nearby and there's a nice view of the canal from upstairs at The Hop.<br />
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The pub occupies a two-storey site that was previously a bog-standard nightclub. I went in the afternoon, but I think it's really a night-time place. It's fairly dark inside and needs to be full of people, but it's been done out really nicely with murals of rock stars in a Gorillaz style and some fantastic wallpaper, pictured, featuring thousands of LP covers.<br />
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The decor and the amps stacked up upstairs are an indication that is a music pub, Ossett's second following on from the success of The Hop in Wakey.<br />
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Ten beers on - six Ossett and four guests when I was there. The two I tried were in decent order. Shame there didn't seem to be any indication of what music was coming up.<br />
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You could have a decent crawl in that area of town now with the Midnight Bell, Cross Keys and mighty Grove nearby, but while I will always visit The Grove when I'm in that neck of the woods, I've never really liked the dark and dingy Granary Wharf and the stinking river, so I'm not sure I'd go out of my way to The Hop.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">HUDDERSFIELD PUB OF THE YEAR 2010 - THE RAT AND RATCHET</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 10: Talking of Ossett pubs, I've bored you to death extolling the virtues of The Rat. They've won Camra pub of the year again - and as I've just returned from there, alcoholically challenged, here's the Rat rap:</span><br />
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Homely, cosy<br />
Staff are friendly<br />
Beery cheery<br />
Ossett Brewery<br />
Guests a-plenty<br />
Salamander<br />
Groovy jukey<br />
Ian Dury<br />
Watch the rugby<br />
On the telly<br />
Go to quiz night<br />
Win the raffle<br />
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(I bet Jay-Z has never used raffle in any of his raps. Don't worry I'll be deleting this when I read this in horror in the morning).<br />
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One question though - why hasn't The Grove been acknowledged for its work since it reopened? It's just as popular as The Rat, just as homely and has a greater selection beers. Like the Star, it's a pub that's been transformed by its independent owners, yet the Rat and Star are the only pubs who seem to get a look in for pub of the year. I hope there's no Camra politicking going on.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">TO ELLAND BACK (AND OTHER PUB ADVENTURES)</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">March 10: I'm going to have to stand in the corner in real ale class when I admit I'd never been to the Barge and Barrel, in Elland, until this year.<br />
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But I've now been twice in a couple of months. It's a grand old place with fancy ceilings, plenty of nooks and crannies and a good selection of ales, with Elland beers among the stars.<br />
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I haven't been because, for me, it's a bugger to get to on public transport. I actually have to walk more than 30 minutes!<br />
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It's a far old walk to <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Sair in Linthwaite</span> but it's always a treat, and now Linfit beers have returned, after several months absence. They're as good as ever with Eli, Special and Leadboiler all present and correct.<br />
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I'd been to The Sair when Linfit beers weren't on and the pub was just as lively with local guest ales available. It's a special place (see Best Pubs), but the Linfit beers make it extra special.<br />
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On the same day I went to the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Commercial, in Slaithwaite</span> for the first time in months. Excellent Empire Moonraker Mild, friendly staff and very nice inside.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">FANTASTIC DOCUMENTARY ON PUBS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 10: Did anyone else hear the fantastic Radio 4 documentary about the celebration of the pub landlord and landlady?</span><br />
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Tetley Dave, from the Shoulder of Mutton in Castleford, and Barbara, from the Grapes in Limehouse, London were the stars - explaining about the importance of good quality real ale in unspoilt pubs, the malign influence of pub companies and the effects of supermarkets and the smoking ban.<br />
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It was fascinating to hear how two apparently different people had virtually the same opinion of how a good pub should be run.<br />
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And in the light of the debate about the future of pubs and BBC stations such as Radio 6, it was depressing to hear how the 'free market' homogenises everything into a few narrow choices.<br />
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Last Orders is on iPlayer until March 5, 11.30am<br />
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00qx1m5/Last_Orders_Episode_2/<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">I DON'T BELIEVE IT - KELHAM'S WON AGAIN! </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 10: It's not the best pub in Sheffield, never mind Yorkshire, but the Kelham Island Tavern has been voted Camra's NATIONAL pub of the year for the second year running - a first for the competition.</span><br />
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I've said it before, it's a good pub, don't get me wrong - nicely done out, friendly atmosphere, 10 handpumps with a mild and porter/stout always on, but if the pubs are being judged on the Camra criteria of 'quality of the beer, atmosphere, décor, customer service, and all-round value of the pub visit', isn't Sheffield pub the Sheaf better - or even the Fat Cat down the road?<br />
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It's great that Camra highlights good pubs, but it's only useful up to the regional stage (16 pubs?) after that it comes down to personal preference - atmosphere and decor are subjective. So fair enough, Kelham wins it once, but it's ridiculous that out of the thousands of pubs in contention it should win twice - that's just the personal preference of a small number of Camra members, rather like the winner at the Great British Beer Festival<br />
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Anyway, well done Kelham - but next year Camra, give someone else a go, in Yorkshire at least.<br />
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<a href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4003/4372788145_46eee84668_m.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4003/4372788145_46eee84668_m.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 240px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 156px;" /></a>On a brighter note two of my favourite pubs in Huddersfield have been given awards from the town's Camra branch.<br />
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The <span style="font-weight: bold;">Rat and Ratchet</span> gets a gong for being in the Good Beer Guide for 20 consecutive years and <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Sportsman</span>, pictured, will be making its debut in next year's guide. It's also won pub of the season. Pub of the year decision is next month I think.<br />
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Meanwhile the lovely <span style="font-weight: bold;">Slubbers</span> has become only the fifth pub in the area to be awarded the Beautiful Beer Gold Award from Cask Marque, joining The Black Bull in Lindley, the Fenay Bridge, the Huntsman in Holmfirth and the Old Mill in Brighouse.<br />
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<a href="http://pages.123-reg.co.uk/darren661-186424/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/yorkshire-rpoty-08.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://pages.123-reg.co.uk/darren661-186424/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/yorkshire-rpoty-08.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 240px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 420px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">YAWN! KELHAM ISLAND'S BEST YORKSHIRE PUB - AGAIN</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 09: For the third year running, Kelham Island has been voted Yorkshire pub of the year.</span><br />
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Come on! It's an above average pub with good beer but there are better pubs in Yorkshire (and Sheffield) that deserve a turn.<br />
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How about York's pub of the year The Swan, Huddersfield's representative The Star, or Dewsbury's finest The Leggers? The Fat Cat and Sheaf View are better Sheffield pubs anyway.<br />
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Kelham Island is also reigning national champ and national champs rarely retain their crowns, so why not give someone else a go?<br />
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It will be up against 15 other regional winners, including Greater Manchester's representative The Crown, in Worthington, near Wigan; Merseyside/Cheshire and North Wales' champ the Golden Lion, in Llangynhafal, between Denbigh and Ruthin; and West Pennines' standard bearer The Taps in Lytham.<br />
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Shortlist of four in February, winner usually announced in March.<br />
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See list of Camra branch winners below<br />
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Pic: from Kelham Island's website<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">RATFEST TRIUMPH</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sep 09: I spent two splendid hours necking lovely halves at the Rat and Ratchet beer and cider festival in Huddersfield. </span><br />
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It was a scorcher so naturally I sat in the darkest part of the pub, owing to my ginger sweaty nature. I was in the mood for some light ales and the Rat didn't disappoint with some nice ones from some of my favourite breweries.<br />
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From Allgates - California, while Salamander had Boatrace, St Austell Proper Job and this from Bateman's (Sam the landlord is in the background).<br />
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But my favourite was a dark one - Saltaire's Triple Chocoholic. They do 'flavour beers' so well - it was like drinking Bourneville.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">COME ON THE PORT! BACK TO MY HOME TOWN</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 09: I had an hour to kill in my old home town, Southport. I’ve never lived there, apart from a year or so in nearby Birkdale. I’m from a village nearby which was always too rednecky for me so I ended up drinking in Southport - itself a rather strait-laced place. I once saw an old git beat an alarmed teen with his stick on a bus for failing to offer his seat to a lady.<br />
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</span>But Southport is where I drank in my teens and twenties and it’s where some of my oldest friends still live. So I decided to go on a whistlestop tour before I met some pals in The Guest House.<br />
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This has been our regular for years, before that it was The Windmill and before that The Barons. Other regulars were The Berkeley, The Falstaff, Coronation, Wellington, Cheshire Lines, Oast House, the Fox and Goose and even the Foghorn (or Star Wars bar because of its strange looking customers).<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Falstaff</span> had five pumps, but it looked like there were no ales on as all the clips were turned. I walked straight out. It’s getting good notices in the local ale mag but it’s been years since I had a good night there, and that was when the bloke from The Heatons Bridge in Scarisbrick ran it.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Barons</span> was packed at 5.30pm and probably has the most adventurous range of beers in town, as well as old dependables like Moorhouses and Sandgrounder.<br />
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The bar, part of the Scarisbrick Hotel, is done out like a room in a country house with wooden panelling and a stuffed deer’s head. It’s remained relatively unchanged for 20 years at least and was all the rage when I was in my late teens and early twenties.<br />
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It seems more suited to the fifty and sixty somethings who use it now. One of them was threatening to start a fight over some slight at the bar. His marshmallow nose was quivering and he had to be calmed down by a sparrow-like woman in a long dress.<br />
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A quick recce round the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Ship and Anchor</span> off Neville Street. A pub that has never recovered from being opened up yonks ago. It looks relatively pleasant inside but I didn’t spot any real ales.<br />
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Onto the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Oast House</span> , where I spent a memorable New Year’s Eve singing along to the jukey dressed as a Reservoir Dog as part of a snakes and ladders drinking game (board full of pubs, shake a dice to see where you go, 30 mins in each boozer, with drinking forfeits elsewhere on the board). It was friendly as ever. The ale was not great, but then it was always a place for a contintental lager and even schnapps.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Victoria</span> has never lived up to its potential – a nice-looking building, sympathetically done out and opposite The Floral theatre and a huge new hotel with no other pubs on the same road. It should be cleaning up, but it never does. Thwaites Smooth on here.<br />
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I had a flashback to <span style="font-weight: bold;">O’Toole’s </span>the late drinking joint tailored for over-25s which used to be a couple of doors down, until it degenerated into a teen thug battleground and became O'Foole's to me and my pals.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mulligans</span>, the latest late drinking joint for the more mature, undiscerning clientiele, has also closed.<br />
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Onto <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Windmill</span> and Steve the landlord is still there - at least his name is on the door. He must be one of the long-serving landlords in town (15 plus years?) although he’s quite a difficult man to know, even if you go in twice a week for years and years, as I used to do.<br />
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On one New Year’s Eve he came over to my pal, the mild sponge Kev, and spoke to him for about the first time that year. He said Kev had helped pay for his safari holiday in Africa. Mmm, nice customer service!<br />
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The Theakston’s was in good order here and the barman who had his long hair cut years ago is still there.<br />
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And finally <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Guest House</span> – the beer choice may be a little too mainstream and the rooms are too hot but this is a lovely pub, with a friendly atmosphere and the beer is always in good order (see Olthwaite Golden Shovel Best Pubs)<br />
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I peered in at <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Masons</span> and revamped <span style="font-weight: bold;">Hoghton</span> and wished I could have gone in the former which is a lively place with nice Robbie’s, but I had a train to catch.<br />
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Overall I felt slightly depressed by the choice of pubs now – the Berkeley seems a big loss even though it was a bog standard hotel bar. I’ve heard <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Lakeside</span> is on good form, especially with its new outdoor bit, and I’ve no doubt the Tetleys in the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cheshire Lines</span> is still good, but The Guesty is the only pub I wanted to stay in for more than a couple of drinks.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">REAL ALE PUB BECOMES SWINGERS BAR!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 09: If you go down to Moldgreen today you're in for a big surprise, the Green Cross real ale pub has turned into a swingers' bar.</span><br />
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Let's hope no real ale drinkers are tempted to indulge - the thought of wobbly-arsed blokes throwing their tankards in a bowl for a chance of a jiggy with Miss Maris Otter-Hops is too much to bear!<br />
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It reminds me of this episode from the <a href="http://bp0.blogger.com/_YlDGMyEP9mY/RxInC7dpeKI/AAAAAAAAAAk/_qunLNchIbM/s1600-h/Realaletwats117s.jpg">Real Ale Twats in Viz</a>.<br />
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The owners of the new club have blacked out the windows, and according to the Huddersfield Examiner, have a plush bar, dancefloor and bedrooms. They are also planning to install a sauna. There's a big demand for such clubs among consenting adults of all professions, the owners say.<br />
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Local councillor Rochelle Parchment isn't happy as she feels the club is in the wrong location, but as it's a private members (ahem) club, the council can't do anything.<br />
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It just shows how important a landlord is - former Green Cross landlord boss Andy was attracting Camra awards for this pub and it was a tidy little place. But when he moved on to the Bay Horse, in York, earlier this year, the Green Cross appears to have declined.<br />
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(PS A correspondent has pointed out that it should be Maris Otter not Maris Piper hops. The latter are potatoes. Doh!)<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2586/3765319512_12ee0dbab6.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2586/3765319512_12ee0dbab6.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BRANWELL BRONTE WOULD LOVE THIS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jul 09: The newest 'rail ale' railway station pub has opened at last in Sowerby Bridge.</span><br />
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The Jubilee Refreshment Rooms is in the old ticket office next to the station where Branwell Bronte, the Ringo Starr of the Brontes, was sacked for drunkenness. He'd surely love this new pub.<br />
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It's light and airy thanks to the high ceilings and copies of the original sash windows, but it also has some marvellous old-fashioned lights that look like upside-down jelly fish, and a clock which was a famous feature of a Halifax jewellers.<br />
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Six real ales are on, many from Yorkshire, including Leeds Brewery, Eastwood and Salamander, and they were all in good order.<br />
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The conversion of the ticket office to the Jubilee, named after a steam loco, has been a labour of love for owners and brothers Andrew and Chris Wright. It's taken them 12 years to open as they had to deal with various rail companies and health and safety issues.<br />
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Conversion work started in October 2008 and the brothers first had to remove a quarter of a ton of asbestos before taking down the internal walls, ceilings, windows and floors.<br />
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They serve breakfasts from 7-9.30am then sandwiches and cakes all day and later beer.<br />
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It's a lovely place and a worthy addition to the Stalybridge-Huddersfield-Dewsbury 'rail ale' pub scene.<br />
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It's slightly awkward to get to from Huddersfield. There are direct trains from Dewsbury and Brighouse to Sowerby Bridge but these don't stop at Huddersfield. The alternative is to get the train from Wakey that stops at Hudds and change at Halifax. It's a longer wait than stopping at Brighouse but at least you have the Three Pigeons and Pump Room near Halifax station. The pub near Brighouse station didn't have any real ale on when I was there.<br />
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I should also mention another new real ale pub that's worth a visit - <span style="font-weight: bold;">the Commercial in Slaithwaite</span>. This was always a bit of a grim place, but while the exterior is virtually the same, the interior has been transformed - nice, bright paint-job and paintings on the walls, eight real ales, many locals (the ales not the Slou-westers if that's what you call 'em).<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">OTLEY - DEVASTATION OF A REAL ALE TOWN</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">July 09: I was shocked to read in the Bradford Camra mag that three more Otley pubs have shut - the Black Horse, Woolpack and Spite - following the closures of the Bowling Green, Summercross and Fleece. Five years ago, Otley had 20-odd pubs or clubs and most, if not all, served real ale. What's happened? My pal, and Otley resident, Richard Hamer reveals all: </span><br />
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Once upon a time there’s a little old town in the west (Yorkshire, that is) by the name of Otley. Not only was it the birthplace of Thomas Chippendale, Mike Tindall and the Wharfedale Printing Machine (which revolutionised the printing industry), but it was said to have more pubs per head of population than anywhere else in England. Of course, that all depended on who you believed, especially as there doesn’t seem to be a Guinness World Record on it.<br />
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One thing that is certain, even now, is that Otley does have a lot of pubs for its size. And if we go back to summer 2006, there were 15 pubs within the town centre, (two on the fringes) as well as four bars, a working men’s clubs, the Labour Club, RAOB Club, the Conservative Club and the Catholic Club. Phew, I bet you’re thirsty after taking all that in?<br />
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Then it all started to change but before that, here’s a little story.<br />
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Prior to the advent of all day drinking (not 24-hour drinking) in 1988, when pubs shut between 3pm and 7pm, Otley was allowed to stay open on Fridays because of the cattle market and street market – and my guess is that this is because pubs were traditionally used as ad hoc offices to carry out a bit of business.<br />
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Being allowed to open all day was good news for students at the University of Leeds who had long been jumping on the bus from Leeds to Otley – which passed by the uni – to take part in something that felt forbidden, but was perfectly legal. Hence, Otley used to have a soft spot with students and is, no doubt, one reason why so many graduates have settled in the town.<br />
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Anyway back to main thread. Since the middle of 2006, several of the town’s pubs have closed and not as a result of lack of business. The RAOB has merged with the Labour Club temporarily while a new one is built, but most are due to pub companies squeezing the landlords out and property developers.<br />
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The “world’s greatest pub”, the Bowling Green, shut its doors in September 2006 after the landlord, Trevor, sold it when he retired. No one can begrudge his pension plan, and originally it was to be converted to flats, but then came the news that JD Wetherspoon had bought it.<br />
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Since then it’s stood empty, surrounded by an ugly wire fence, and the latest is that it will reopen again early next year. However, it will look nothing like the original which is a good thing because the Bowling Green was unique and it’s far better to treasure the memories and this on YouTube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LukVPxvE_7g<br />
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Around a year later the Summercross closed. Situated to the east of the town centre, it had had a chequered recent history after becoming a gastropub in 2000. This failed and fell into the hands of Punch, who sold it to a property company who sold it a local house builder in late 2007 (all under the nose of the landlord who had only been there 12 months and had turned its fortunes around).<br />
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And what had the landlord done to revive it? Well, because it wasn’t tied he’d started selling real ale, which rotated often and he couldn’t sell enough of it. And what’s more the idiots that help bring pubs down (we all know who they are), don’t drink things with real flavour so they stayed away which meant those that appreciate beer and conviviality flocked there.<br />
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He also had a great open mic night every Friday which even saw professional musicians turning up for a real good knees-up, plus live folk/blues bands on Saturdays. And the food was pretty good too. Mixed grill, anyone?<br />
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Then he was given just two months notice to leave. Just as well he’d not sold his house. But it came at a time when he was hosting Otley Folk Festival gigs, and was planning more for the following year, and getting involved in the town’s walking festival.<br />
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A campaign was mounted to save it but the house builder wouldn’t budge, even when a North East pub co said they were interested in buying it. Although planning was refused for the houses, the company had ties with a care home business and that’s what it’s to be after Leeds City Council said an imposing building in a residential area would be an asset.<br />
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In the past 12 months the Red Lion closed for a while after Enterprise upped the rent so the landlord couldn’t make a living (again, a good real ale pub), and that now has a temporary manager and is back to selling John Smiths.<br />
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Then the Three Horseshoes closed after the landlord died which, according to his widow, was as a result of the pubco upping the rent. That’s currently open, but the Black Horse has now closed – again the landlord couldn’t make a living.<br />
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The Woolpack recently closed down and Enterprise is auctioning it off to anyone, and the rumours are that it could become a curry house, a solicitor’s office or a house.<br />
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The Red Lion and the Three Horseshoes are also currently on the market, and Enterprise has even leafleted houses is the town to see if anyone is stupid enough to take them on.<br />
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The Fleece, which is to the west of the town centre, is another pub that closed down several months ago after the landlord was declared bankrupt and that too remains shut, again owned by Enterprise.<br />
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But to make matters worse, the town’s only dedicated real ale shop closed a few months ago as a result of the banks refusing credit to the owner.<br />
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However, there is a bit of good news. A real ale bar is supposed to be opening in a former cafe, although the owner has had problems with the licence due to various residents putting their collective oar in claiming that it will lead to anti-social behaviour.<br />
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The proposed bar is next door to the Rose & Crown which is open until 1am at the weekend, and is a known trouble spot – and that’s not libellous. Some folk just don’t get it that real ale drinkers don’t punch people because they looked “at them funny”.<br />
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So what’s to be done in Otley? Not a lot because there’s nothing to stop what the pub cos do, although there are currently rumbling in Parliament to keep them in check.<br />
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Otley’s MP Greg Mulholland – who helped in the Summercross fight – is on the case; even though he knows he can do no more than gain bad press for Enterprise and all the other real estate dealers, sorry pub cos. But businesses of that size are not bothered, just as long as the shareholders get their dividend and the bosses get their bonuses.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR 2009</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">April/May/June/July 09: Camra branches are choosing their pubs of the year and a few of my Olthwaite Golden Shovel top pubs have been selected - The Star in Huddersfield, The Swan in York and The Leggers in Dewsbury. </span><br />
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The latest is in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Keighley</span> where a former brothel, council chamber and dance hall, The Old White Bear in Crosshills, is the winner.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wakefield</span> the Anglers Retreat, in Wintersett, gets the Camra gong.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">Leeds</span> Mr Foley's Cask Ale House is champ. Isle of Man brewery Okells had a go at turning this old Pearl Assurance place into an upmarket real ale joint but it never took off. York Brewery took it over and it was heaving last time I went in.<br />
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However I've never really warmed to the place. The bar always seems too cramped and is in a bit of a pit which is the first thing you see when you walk in - you can't really see the rest of the pub. The beer is ok but nothing special and the whole place still seems very 'banky' and rather lacking in atmosphere. The Victoria down the road wins hands down in every department.<br />
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I've mentioned the Star, in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Huddersfield</span>, elsewhere (see Best Pubs and picture of one of their famous beer festivals, above) - lovely beer, atmosphere and pub dog.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">York</span>, the Swan is a splendid corner boozer, about 15 mins from the city centre, with a tiny bar and two rooms with tables and chairs huddled together. As I wrote in my best pubs list, I have a weakness for wooden panelling and the Swan has plenty. It also has a varied selection of beers, along with regulars <span class="hi">Tetley’s Bitter</span>, <span class="hi">Timothy Taylor Landlord</span> and <span class="hi">Copper Dragon Golden Pippin,</span> and a cosy atmosphere (real fire in one room).<br />
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The pub isn't in the Good Beer Guide because of a change of ownership at the time the branch was submitting its favourites.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Trafford and Hulme</span> branch have chosen the Knott in Manchester city centre. The branch covers this part of the city and they've chosen one of my favourite pubs - Ginger Marble stars with other micros, plus some excellent grub, all in an old railway arch with chunky wooden furniture. Jukey's not bad either.<br />
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In <b>Sheffield </b>it's two wins in a row for the Kelham Island Tavern, which is in with a chance of retaining its national Camra pub of the year title.<br />
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Runners-up were:<br />
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2 Fat Cat (near Kelham Island)<br />
3 New Barrack Tavern, Penistone Road<br />
4 Bath Hotel, City Centre<br />
5 Sheaf View, Heeley<br />
6 Devonshire Cat, City Centre<br />
7 Rising Sun, Nether Green<br />
8 Harlequin, Nursery Street<br />
9 University Arms, Brook Hill<br />
10 Hillsborough Hotel, Langsett Road<br />
11 Wellington, Shalesmoor<br />
12 Commercial, Chapeltown.<br />
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My own Sheff top five would be: 1 Sheaf, 2 Fat Cat, 3 Rutland, city centre 4 Red Deer,city centre 5 Rising Sun.<br />
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<b>Bradford's </b>pub of the year is The Junction, in Baildon. I've never been.<br />
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<b>Halifax</b> branch has chosen The Moyles bar, restaurant and hotel in Hebden Bridge, a very swanky but friendly place which has a good range of ales in good order.<br />
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Yet another Olthwaite Golden Shovel winner is pub of the year in the <b>Heavy Woollen </b>region - the fabulous Leggers, in Dewsbury.<br />
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It's a bit of a grim walk from the train station on a bleak day but the pub's a joy in summer - next to the canal and a real sun trap. The pub itself is the old stables for the barge horses and you can still see the beams. It's one of the best places to while away a pleasant afternoon. Sink in the comfy chairs with a pint of Tiger and other excellent ales.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">North Manchester</span>, the New Oxford in Salford retains its crown. I'm overdue a visit.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">Southport</span> The Barons wins for the second year running, a place I used to go to as a youth, excellent beer but somewhat lacking in atmosphere now - The Guest House is easily the best pub in town. In <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wigan</span> the Crown in Worthington wins. I've never been.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SPORTING CHANCE</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr/May 09: The Sportsman in Huddersfield opened at the end of April and judging by its opening weeks looks set to become one of the best pubs in town.</span><br />
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It's run by the folk who look after the excellent West Riding Refreshment Rooms in Dewsbury and they've done a cracking job refurbishing the pub. They've kept the layout and some of the distinctive features, for example the wall seating which probably hasn't changed in 50 years.<br />
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It's a sympathetic revamp with some lovely art deco touches, such as the mirrors and squiggly wallpaper (hey, don't get Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen on my ass)<br />
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The Sportsman has all my favourite features in a pub - small rooms, fireplaces, chunky furniture and eight real ales, mainly from west Yorkshire and many from Kirklees such as Mallinsons, Empire, Golcar and Anglo Dutch, as well as the new Black Sheep Golden Fleece (light and sweet, so much better than the regular Black Sheep)and regular milds.<br />
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It's a regular for me already. Here's the website:<br />
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<a href="http://www.undertheviaduct.com/sportsman/?p=Home">The Sportsman</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">STAR ATTRACTIONS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 09:</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The fabulous Star Inn, in Lockwood, Huddersfield, is the town's Camra pub of the year.</span><br />
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The award coincided with one of the pub's famous beer festivals - 60 plus beers including Great Heck's George Formby range. My festival favourite was Auntie Maggie's Homemade Remedy, a coffee-ish delight.<br />
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The Star has been overshadowed over the past few years by the rampant form of the Rat and Ratchet and the emergence of the excellent Grove which took the Star template of reviving and restoring a shabby pub and serving a vast array of ales.<br />
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The Star is a cosy, friendly place with a great selection of beers and deserves its place in the sun again.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">THE END OF THE SUMMERCROSS</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">March 09: It looks like the end of the road for lovely Otley pub The Summercross. Plans to convert it into a care home have been approved by Leeds Council.</span><br />
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This flourishing pub, the only one on the eastern side of the town, was shut in October 2007 and sold to a housing company. A plan to convert into housing was rejected.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">KELHAM ISLAND IS PUB OF THE YEAR</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 09:</span> Camra's pub of the year is the Kelham Island Tavern, in Sheffield. It had to shut for six weeks in 2007 because of the floods, so this is a great turnaround. The Crown Inn in Stockport was one of three runners-up.<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3317/3208994961_b2b31b4410.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3317/3208994961_b2b31b4410.jpg?v=0" style="cursor: pointer; height: 350px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 260px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">FEELING GROVE-Y</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 09:</span> Here's a picture of one of my favourite pubs, <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Grove, in Huddersfield,</span> and some of the unusual artwork the landlord gets from t'inters. I usually go late afternoon/early evening and hide behind the pillars reading a paper until the words swirl from the ale, but I went for the first time on a Friday night recently and it was heaving - great to see in these cash-strapped times. There was a real mix of ages too, with students attracted to the menu containing hundreds of beers, spirits and bizarre snacks - from flavoured Polish vodkas to salt and vinegar flavoured crickets. But The Grove is best known for its real ales - 16 handpumps, with a good mix of regulars and guest beers. It's also a cosy place with friendly bar staff - get yerself down there!<br />
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<li><a href="http://www.groveinn.co.uk/">Grove Inn website</a></li><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">KELHAM ISLAND INTO LAST FOUR OF PUB OF YEAR</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 09: Sheffield's excellent Kelham Island has been rated as one of the top four pubs in the country by Camra.<br />
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It has a chance of being named top pub following another round of judging next month. It'll be up against the Crown Inn, in Stockport (a pub I've always wanted to visit), the Tom Cobley Tavern, in Spreyton, Devon and the Royal Oak, in Rusper, West Sussex.<br />
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Two hundred branches chose their pubs of the year, these were whittled down to 16 regional finalists, including Kelham as best in Yorkshire and the Crown best in Greater Manc. I did moan about Kelham being Yorkshire pub of the year twice in a row, but it is one of those lovely multi-room pubs which is a pleasure to be in.<br />
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<a href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1108/1064505721_f35869120d.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1108/1064505721_f35869120d.jpg?v=0" style="cursor: pointer; height: 500px; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 375px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">DOUBLE TRIUMPH FOR THE SAIR</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 08: The world's greatest pub (probably) - The Sair, in Linthwaite - has received two very different national honours. It's been named as 'one of the 50 greatest old pubs in Britain' in The Rough Pub Guide and won an 'authentic pub' award by the Sawday guides.</span><br />
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The Rough Pub Guide has nothing to do with Rough Guides, apparently, so I thought this book would be all about 'Are you looking at my pint, do you want to go outside?' boozers and, indeed, The Three Legs in Leeds is in there.<br />
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But so is the Briton's Protection in Manchester, where the only chance of violence is being poked by an oboeist's bow if an orchestra has been playing in the Bridgewater Hall next door.<br />
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The authors say their guide is 'part guidebook, part paean to a disappearing England' as they bemoan the advance of gastropubs and the disapperance of 'public bars, where you can stand around with a pint, play darts and enjoy a platter of roast potatoes, or you could retire to the lounge, where, in amongst the flock wallpaper and red velvet bench seats, an old bloke would invariably run through his repertoire on an organ'.<br />
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I must say this 'golden idyll' sounds awful and reeks of Watneys Red Barrel and redneck localness. Also, pubs which have improved their food have usually improved their ale.<br />
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Other pubs in the guide I've visited include the wonderful Dyffryn Arms, at Pontfaen, near Fishguard. The landlady, Bessie, now 78, and who looks like Dandy Nicholls, poured Bass from a metal jug the last time I was there in what seemed to be her front room. The beer was cool and lovely, the welcome warm.<br />
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The Vulcan in Cardiff is also in there - a no-nonsense Brains pub on the edge of the city centre currently threatened with demolition to make way for a shopping centre - and also the Coach and Horses in Soho - a pub that has retained its character and characters amid the tourist cheesiness.<br />
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The Sawdays guide has various different categories for its winning pubs - eg pubs with rooms, pubs that serve local/organic produce. Most of the pubs are down south and look like ye olde mansions where you have to take your shoes off before you go in.<br />
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God knows how they found The Sair. But what a place! I can't make my mind up if it's better to go in the winter, with the real fire roaring, or the summer, with the sun setting through the windows. Either way, with a pint of Old Eli in your hand, the sounds of That's Alright Mama in your ear, Danny the pub dog dreaming of crisps nearby and the lovely Mrs P next to me, I can't think of anywhere better to go. (see full review in Best pubs, left)<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GREEN CROSS GOLD</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 08: I've been meaning to write about the Green Cross in Moldgreen, Hudds, for some time and now I've got an excuse. It's deservedly won Hudds Camra's Autumn Pub of the Year.</span><br />
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The pubs reopened earlier this year under new management and after a refurbishment, and very nice is it too. Two rooms, old fireplace preserved, comfy seats and attractive black and dark red decor. Thwaites beers are always on plus some Yorkshire favourites such as Elland and Acorn.<br />
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The landlord's friendly and keen, there are bands in the back room and a TV for the football which doesn't take over the pub.<br />
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It's about 15-20 mins trek out of the town centre on the grim Wakefield Road, where it always seems to be raining, but apart from that, it's a place I'll be going to again.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">THEY'RE BUGGERING ABOUT WITH THE ALBERT AGAIN..BUT THE STEAM'S BACK ON FORM</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 08: One of the few real ale pubs in Hudds town centre, and the one with arguably the best interior, is closed again and the skips are outside.</span><br />
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There was a big hoo-ha when it closed a couple of years ago and there were fears that the Victorian wood and glass screens would be ripped out. The pub did reopen and it was a nice refit, but the choice and quality of beer gradually went downhill and the pub began to look a bit shabby.<br />
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It closed again last month. No planning application this time, as far as I can tell, and Enterprise Inns are still looking for a new landlord, according to their website, but peering through the windows it looks like a really nice job inside - brown carpets, nice seating and old pics on the wall complementing the Victorian interior.<br />
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Enterprise are looking for 'a quality food and cask ale operator' and they've spent £80k on the pub. I've heard it could reopen before Christmas.<br />
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One pub where the beer quality has improved this year is the Head of Steam. The pub is such a lovely place but was let down by rank pints too often for my liking. Also the wine was usually warm and the food quality had declined. Anyway, a new landlord came in earlier this year and everything has got better.<br />
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<b>Jan 08 update:</b> <b>Went in reopened Albert, nicely done out but Landlord only real ale and dreadful soft rock playing in the background - they obviously can't trust their customers to create an atmosphere.</b><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE REFRESHMENT ROOMS?</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 08: Throughout this summer I've been making forlorn treks to Sowerby Bridge in the hope that the new pub at the train station has opened. It was due to open in June/July in the old ticket office but the building has remained boarded up with no sign of life. All that could change shortly.</span><br />
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I emailed Christopher Wright, one of two brothers involved in the conversion of the ticket office into The Jubilee Refreshment Rooms and he says work is due to start at the end of next month with an opening date of April 2009.<br />
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No indication over what's caused the delay but it's great that they're "back on track".<br />
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As mentioned in the previous article below, the building has been empty for 25 years and it's taken the brothers 10 years to hack through red tape to get permission to convert it.<br />
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They hope to attract the 500 people who use the station daily with a combination of good cafe food and local real ales.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR UPDATE</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 08: And the Yorkshire pub of the year is....Kelham Island Tavern, in Sheffield, for the second year running.<br />
</span><br />
Mmm..yes it's a fine pub but there are pubs that are equally good if not better in Yorkshire and it's surely time to give them a turn.<br />
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In Greater Manchester, The Crown, under the viaduct in Stockport is the winner, while Merseyside, Cheshire & North Wales' champ is the Blue Bell, in Halkyn, just off the A55 in North Wales.<br />
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West Pennines region, which includes Lancashire, has chosen the Manor Arms, in Broughton-in-Furness, Cumbria.<br />
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There are 16 regional winners in all. The overall winner and Camra pub of the year will be announced in February.<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2340/2452265861_cf039c1510.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2340/2452265861_cf039c1510.jpg?v=0" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">RAT 'N' ROLL</span><br />
<b>Sept 08:</b> Another splendid beer festival at Huddersfield's pub of the year The Rat and Ratchet. This is an old pic - the pub was heaving on Friday night and Saturday afternoon and I didn't have the pluck to take a photo of five dark beers in a row at the bar because I thought I might as well write on my face: 'Camra geek. Do not talk about malt and hops in front of this man'. Anyway the only drawback to two splendid days was that the Champion Beer of Britain by Alton is dry, bitter and terrible fuelling my theories that mainly southern judges are at the Great British Beer Festival. And someone nicked my seat, even though I'd put newspapers and a glass on it - grrr!<br />
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<li><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/">More from Olthwaite Flickr</a></li><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>BOLDLY GOING...TO THE VULCAN</b><br />
</span><b>Aug 08: The Vulcan pub, in Huddersfield, has won an award from a Kirklees and Calderdale real ale group.</b><br />
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The Sunday At Seven Real Ale Group (SASRAG) annual award is made to the pub which has served quality real ale throughout the year and made an effort to give customer choice. Previous winners include The Grove, in Hudds.<br />
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A spokesman told the Examiner: “The secret to a successful pub is to give the customer a fair deal; a place to escape and relax amongst company, good conversation, a good range of quality beers at a reasonable price, good food and good entertainment – be it sports TV or just pool – and finally, a landlord who spends time behind the bar or in the pub. The Vulcan is all of these.”<br />
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I'd been here yonks ago but couldn't remember anything about it. But the local Camra branch has been praising the beer quality, amid whispers it was a bit rough and ready. I visited again and had a Dark Star and a John Smiths Winning Tipple on draught - both spot-on and better quality than some more famous Hudds real ale pubs I visited the same night. (Worthington was also on handpull).<br />
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It's a clean and friendly pub with TVs, a pool table and a pub dog. If you like the Kings Head, you'll like the Vulcan.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR 2007-8</b><br />
</span><b>April 08 (see May and June updates below): It's that time of year when Camra branches choose their pubs of the year in the hope that their boozers go on to become the national number one.<br />
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In <b>Huddersfield</b>, it's a second win in a row for the Rat and Ratchet - and well-deserved too, although the Grove might have been in with a shout. Sam has taken over the pub from Dave (not the soul duo) in the past year and upheld his predecessor's high standards - good mix of beers from the Ossett empire and others, good selection of wines and ciders, friendly staff, cosy atmosphere and a good jukey.<br />
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It would have been nice for Hudds to tell us in their email how many members took part in the vote and maybe the top 20 pubs. <b>Sheffield</b> branch has done this and their winner is the excellent Kelham Island Tavern - an oasis in a rather bleak area of Sheff.<br />
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Nine hundred members took part in the vote. Here's the top 20:<br />
1 Kelham Island Tavern, Kelham Island<br />
2 Fat Cat, Kelham Island<br />
3 Bath Hotel, City Centre<br />
4 Commercial, Chapeltown<br />
=5 Hillsborough Hotel<br />
=5 Devonshire Cat, City Centre<br />
7 Rising Sun, Nether Green<br />
8 Sheaf View, Heeley<br />
9 New Barrack Tavern, Hillsborough<br />
10 Ranmoor Inn, Ranmoor<br />
11 Wellington, Shalesmoor<br />
12 Grouse, Longshaw<br />
13 Harlequin, City Centre<br />
14 Wig & Pen, City Centre<br />
15 Coach & Horses, Dronfied<br />
16 Dove & Rainbow, City Centre<br />
17 Cobden View, Crookes<br />
18 Red Lion, City Centre<br />
19 Millstone, Hathersage<br />
20 Fagans, City Centre<br />
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Good top three and my own favourite, the Sheaf View, is at 8, but where's The Red Deer in Pitt Street?<br />
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In the <b>Heavy Woollen </b>area (Dewsbury, Batley, Cleckheaton, Heckmondwike etc), the fabulous West Riding Refreshment Rooms wins for a third year in a row.<br />
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<b>York’s </b>pub of the year is Brigantes Bar & Brasserie on Micklegate, which only opened two years ago. I paid a quick visit and it was heaving. It has good pedigree as it's part of the Market Town Taverns group, which runs Arcadia in Headingley and Bar T'at in Ilkley, among others and although it doesn't have the beer selection of those pubs, it's a tidy place. It was chosen from a shortlist of eight pubs of the season.<br />
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<b>Keighley</b> branch has explained on its website how it choose The Brown Cow as pub of the year - "quality of beer, service, atmosphere, general décor, clientele mix, value for money and support of CAMRA aims" and a it had to be in the Good Beer Guide. It's a Taylors pub, not one I've visited, but it apparently has coal fires, a collection of police hats and a ban on bad language (difficult to enforce in Keighley I'd have thought!). "Locals will chat with you" is another recommendation. Sounds good.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">New ones in May</span> include The Barons Bar, part of the Scarisbrick Hotel in <b>Southport</b>. This was where I did most of my drinking in my youth, a strange place in hindsight and it was, and is, a rather fusty hotel bar. It was packed with teenies in the early 80s but now is rather more sedate. Maybe it's because there are more bars these days. The beer has always been good here and the range has expanded since my big hair days.<br />
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In <b>Halifax</b> the winner is the Shepherds Rest in Sowerby Bridge, a Tardis-like boozer, part of the Ossett empire. Very nice place.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">Wigan</span> the excellent Anvil in the town centre shares pub of the year with The Crown in Worthington. The Anvil has a good selection of micros and is a great place to watch the rugby league.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">North Manchester</span>, which includes the Northern Quarter and Salford, the New Oxford, in Salford, is pub of the year. Never been but I've heard good reports - it was threatened with closure five years ago but was Greater Manchester's pub of the year last year.<br />
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In <span style="font-weight: bold;">June, Leeds</span> announced The Grove was its winner. Hurrah! My favourite in this city.<br />
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One room reminds me of Great Aunty Mary's lounge, with its tasselled lamps and armchair, another room has wooden seats which give me pins and needles in my balls, yet another room has a wood-burning fire and a cashpoint machine, and the fourth is a concert room where old men sing older folk songs.<br />
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The Highland Terrier with the Hannibal Lecter mask appears to have passed on, but John the landlord who occasionally looks hangdog is still there and so are the pints of Moorhouses, Elland and other good beers.<br />
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Shake a fist at the monstrous offices which hem it in and prevent the pub festival from taking place. I saw the great Mik Artistik here, drawing portraits on paper bags and singing a blues song about his daughter selling shoes.<br />
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The Grove is a great boozer.<br />
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While according to esteemed pub historian and real ale drinker Malcolm Toft, the Fighting Cock is <span style="font-weight: bold;">Bradford's </span>pub of the year. A good choice too - lovely three-room pub, wooden floors, plenty of local micros.<br />
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Shame it's in a rather bleak area. I remember walking back from this boozer on one sunny day at about 5pm and noticing a lot of women dotted along the roadside every few yards. I thought they were waiting for buses at first (honest officer!). It was a bleak stretch of road in the sun, never mind at night when the creepy punters appear.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Wakefield's</span> pub of the year is Harry's Bar, a wonderful little pub down an alley near the station with plenty of West Yorkshire beers<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>SUMMERCROSS UPDATE</b><br />
</span><b>Apr 08:</b> Plans to knock down the Summercross pub in Otley and replace it with housing have been knocked back by Leeds Council.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">STATE OF HUDDERSFIELD TOWN CENTRE PUBS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 08: Something to tell the grandchildren - I've made lead letter in the Huddersfield Examiner! (March 25).</span><br />
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The state of Huddersfield town centre pubs has been brewing (arf, arf) for me for some time - you can't go on a pub crawl in the town centre, you can't get a decent pint of bitter in nearly all of the pubs and there seems to be a lot of bovine dickheads around.<br />
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And I have to go to Halifax to watch the rugby league.<br />
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Anyway, here's the letter:<br />
I’VE been interested in your articles about the difficulties pubs are facing. While I sympathise with the pressures landlords face from supermarkets, the smoking ban and the pub companies, Huddersfield town centre isn’t a great place to go out for a drink because the pubs and bars, by and large, lack variety – similar selection of lagers, same football on TVs and more or less the same songs on the jukeboxes.<br />
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The only pub in town where you can guarantee to get a good pint of bitter or mild in a pleasant atmosphere is The King’s Head, or Station as it used to be known.<br />
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The Head of Steam, Albert, County, Vox and Zephyr are also decent enough, but most pubs and bars seem to be divided into ones where you have to dress up to get in or they’re a bit shabby or they lack atmosphere.<br />
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As for beer, you can get a greater variety in Tesco. There are 31 breweries in West Yorkshire, several of them within a few miles of Huddersfield – why don’t pubs be a bit more adventurous with their choice of beer?<br />
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But it’s not just beer. If I want to watch the rugby league at the weekend and have a decent pint of bitter, I have to go to Halifax.<br />
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I gave up on Huddersfield when I tried to watch a Tri-Nations game two years ago. I went round most of the pubs but they insisted on showing some “vital” game like Fulham v Portsmouth. Let’s hope that now the Giants are more popular than Town (10,000 average attendance for first four games compared with Town's last four of 7,500) that Huddersfield pubs will start using their initiative and showing rugby for a change.<br />
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If landlords think they’ll lose out by changing, they only have to look at the Grove, in Spring Grove Street and The Star in Lockwood – two former rundown pubs that have been spruced up and serve a variety of real ales. Both are thriving.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">A NEW TRAIN STATION BOOZER</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 08: West Yorkshire is about to have another real ale pub in an old train station ticket office, with the opening of the Jubilee Refreshment Rooms at Sowerby Bridge in June/July.</span><br />
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It's a labour of love for Greetland brothers Chris and Andrew Wright who've waited TEN years to hack through red tape and get permission to open the disused office, which has been empty for 25 years.<br />
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They got the idea while sitting in Oxenhope station and wondering why they couldn't do the same in Sowerby Bridge, but they then had to deal with all the various rail companies and quangos to get it off the ground.<br />
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The plan is to be a caff from early mornings and stay open until 11, serving real ale from local micros and locally sourced food, and attract some of the 500 passengers who use the station every day.<br />
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Chris is a lifetime member of Camra and the brothers have run six charity beer festivals. Andrew will leave his dyehouse job to manage the pub. Chris, 46, has his own decorating business. Both are rail enthusiasts involved in a group which helped to reopen Brighouse station.<br />
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I'm sure many ale-quaffing trainspotting blokes will be willing the lads on as it sounds like a dream job (although a lot of hard work, I should imagine). The interior of the 132-year-old office is intact and hopefully it will be as attractive as the Refreshment Rooms in Dewsbury and the King's Head and Head of Steam in Huddersfield.<br />
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After the shock closure of the great Puzzle Hall nearby in January, blamed on supermarket prices, rising rents and the smoking ban, let's hope Chris and Andrew make a go of it. I'll be there!<br />
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By the way, Branwell Bronte - the Ringo Starr of the Brontes - used to work in the ticket office and was sacked for being drunk. I'm sure he'd love this.<br />
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Some info: Yorkshire Post/Halifax Courier<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">HUDDERSFIELD'S BEST FOR BEER - OFFICIAL!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 08: Huddersfield pubs serve the best real ale in the country, according to independent group Cask Marque.<br />
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Marque inspectors made 84 local pub visits and supped 250 pints, checking they were served between 11 and 13ºC in a spotlessly clean glass, and the beer had "good clarity, a fresh aroma and a refreshing aftertaste".<br />
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The town got 19.5 out of 20. Truro was second, Twickenham third, Exeter fourth and Northampton fifth. Bristol sixth, Lancaster seventh, Plymouth eighth, Southampton ninth and Leicester 10th.<br />
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Paul Nunny, director of Cask Marque, told the Huddersfield Examiner: “We were extremely impressed by the consistent quality of pints being pulled in Huddersfield and offer our congratulations to local publicans, many of whom have already gained Cask Marque accreditation.”<br />
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It looks like Cask Marque tested boozers outside the town centre as well as in and not all them had got the Marque. There's a very strange collection of pubs which have got the award, according to the Marque's website, not all of them in the Good Beer Guide:<br />
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Berry Brow Liberal Club, Black Bull Lindley, Cherry Tree (town's Wetherspoons), High Park Bradley (never heard of it), Lloyds No 1 (another Wetherbarn), Old Mill Brighouse (Eh??? it looks nearer Bradley), Sair Linthwaite, Shoulder of Mutton Lockwood and White Cross Bradley.<br />
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So some of Hudds' best pubs - The Rat and Ratchet, The Grove, The Star and King's Head (ex Station, pictured from my Flickr site) - do not have Cask Marque, mmm. Still I'm sure they were visited for the survey and it's a great coup for the town.<br />
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To join Cask Marque, pubs have to apply and pay a £150 fee before inspectors make a couple of visits.<br />
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Of the other plcaes on the list I've only been to Bristol (strict 20 minutes supping up time), Twickenham (full of braying twats, neighbouring Richmond is nicer) and Lancaster (ex-friend threatened by yokel local for 'staring at him').<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SUMMERCROSS UPDATE</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 08: The worst fears of campaigners fighting to keep a popular Otley pub have been confirmed.</span><br />
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As reported below, The Summercross closed unexpectedly in October despite attracting more customers and acclaim from Camra, and locals feared it would be converted into housing.<br />
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Surprise, surprise this has happened - Horsforth-based Chartford Homes have bought it from London company Phase 7 a month after it closed.<br />
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Chartford is preparing to submit a planning application for tradtional mews houses in keeping with the area...blah-di-blah! The fact is this was a thriving, well-kept pub - the only one on the east side of the town. What makes it worse is that Chartford were told pub trade was in decline and the landlord wanted to leave. Wrong!<br />
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Free market? It's only free for the rich, there's little choice for anyone else.<br />
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<li><a href="http://www.5elmt.f2s.com/index.htm"><br />
Save Our Summercross website</a></li><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ALEING AND DOWNING<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 07: Sampling ales in Sweden, trying Britain's strongest beer, watching goth morris dancers at a Horsforth pub, listening to filthy karaoke in Southport, filling up with Fuller's at a special promotion night, getting Christmassy in Skipton, going grim up north in Sowerby Bridge and travelling on the Keighley and Worth Valley train (again)</span><br />
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<li><a href="http://ericolthwaite.blogspot.com/2006/12/beer.html">Real ale excursions</a></li><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>SLUBBERS LANDLORD WANTED</b><br />
</span><b>Dec 07: Huddersfield's only Timmy Taylors pub - The Slubbers Arms - is looking for a new landlord.<br />
</b><br />
The Good Beer Guide pub has a To Let sign outside and according to Taylor's website they are looking for "an operator who is passionate about cask ale and up keeping the traditions of a good pub" and some one who can develop the food side.<br />
<br />
Rent is £15,080 a year, business rates are £11,250 and there's £14,800 to find for fixtures and fittings.<br />
<br />
The pub is a fantastic end-of-terrace, cheese wedge shape, crammed with football and rugby programmes and other memorabalia (the Galpharm Stadium is down the road) and some old-fashioned eccentric fittings and furniture that look like they belong in an antiques shop.<br />
<br />
A chance to try the excellent mild Golden Best, Ram Tam and other Taylor's brews although opening times are often unpredictable (closed on a Sunday afternoon).<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">STEAMING INTO SUPERMARKETS</span></b><br />
<b>Dec 07: The Head of Steam chain (branch in Hudds station) is taking on the supermarkets by offering free pints and bottles if you buy a certain number of pints.</b><br />
<br />
For example if you buy a pint of Thwaites you get a card which is marked for every pint you buy and if you buy six pints (and six marks) you get a free pint.<br />
<br />
Caledonian, Hambleton, Black Sheep, Phoenix, Coach House, Daleside, Copper Dragon, Little Valley, Old Bear and Castle Rock are also taking part in the scheme and Castle Rock are adopting it in their own pubs.<br />
<br />
The company's Stuff the Supermarkets campaign is a worthy attempt to take on the supermarkets which the Head of Steam blames for "irresponsible policy of selling alcohol very cheaply, fuelling binge drinking and anti-social behaviour".<br />
<br />
Mmm...bit of pot and kettle here maybe, although it's a shame pubs are always getting the blame for drunkenness when some people are pissed up from shop booze before they go out.<br />
<br />
Good idea from the chain (it's a bit like coffee shops). It's a shame that the Hudds Head of Steam occasionally lets itself down with the quality of its beer.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">KING RAT STEPS DOWN</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 07: Farewell Dave, landlord of the Rat and Ratchet, in Huddersfield. He's stepping down after two years at the helm.</span><br />
<br />
The Rat was always regarded as one of Hudds' best boozers as the previous landlord brewed his own ale.<br />
<br />
Ossett Brewery took it over, spruced up the place and after a few months Dave stepped in and made the Rat the best in town - the beer range is varied but never too obscure with a few stalwarts alongside some carefully chosen guests, with milds a speciality to meet customer demand.<br />
<br />
Dave spiced up the jukey with some sad metal but good sixties stuff, had a fiendishly complex quiz (pictures of guess the herb) and attracted a younger crowd while not appearing to alienate most of the regulars.<br />
<br />
The pub was packed most weekends, won Hudds Camra's pub of the year and mild pub of the year. Dave is staying with Ossett and the Rat is believed to be in safe hands with its new landlord. Good luck Dave!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">REFRESHMENT ROOMS STAGE UNDER THREAT</span></b><br />
<b>Oct 07: The outdoor stage area of the West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury train station, may be in jeopardy because the canopy is constructed within a listed building.</b><br />
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One planning application has already been refused and the pub is trying to work with the planning committee to resolve outstanding issues. The pub is urging everyone who has an interest in retaining the stage to contact Kirklees planning dept before October 30.<br />
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This would be a great shame as the stage is an attractive addition to the pub and is in part of the car park.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">SHOCK CLOSURE OF POPULAR OTLEY PUB</span></b><br />
<b>Oct 07: One of Otley's most improved pubs for real ale is to close this month.<br />
</b><br />
<br />
The pub is an attractive honeycoloured stone building on the outskirts of town. Last year, it was selling average Black Sheep. This year it's got its Cask Ale Marque, praise from local Camra branches, more punters and King Richard of Otley is behind the bar.<br />
<br />
It seems that, out of the blue, some twatting London property developers who own the pub have decided not to renew the lease and there are rumours they'll use the site for housing. Typical - take the money and sod the community.<br />
<br />
Here's a report from the Wharfedale and Airedale Observer:<br />
<br />
Barry and Pamela Mills, who took over the Summer Cross in March 2006, have been told their lease will not be renewed. Over the past 18 months the couple have successfully worked to make the business a success, winning two awards.<br />
<br />
They were stunned to receive a telephone call from County Estate Management - the agents for the owners - last month telling them their lease would not be renewed.<br />
<br />
Mrs Mills said: "We expected to get another year's lease but the property company in London that owns the place have just informed us by phone to say they are not renewing the lease and that's that. I asked what they were doing with it and they said nothing' so we really don't know.<br />
<br />
"But I have heard that sometimes this kind of thing happens and they leave the pub closed until it falls into rack and ruin, and don't renew its licence, until the local council finally says okay you can knock it down. We've already had people around measuring the place and surveyors coming to have a look.<br />
<br />
One of the pub's customers, Otley MP Greg Mulholland, a member of the All Party Parliamentary Beer Group, has responded by launching a Save the Summer Cross campaign.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>YORKSHIRE PUB OF THE YEAR IS....</b><br />
</span><b>Oct 07: Kelham Island Tavern, in Sheffield. Good pub in a rather dingy industrial area of Sheff which now opens all day. </b><br />
<br />
Ten ales in two atttractive old-fashioned rooms. The pub is up against 15 others in other regions for Camra's national pub of the year. Result announced next year.<br />
<br />
(Greater Manchester regional winner is New Oxford, in Salford).<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 08 update:</span> No luck for Kelham Island. The four finalists are The pubs up for the title of CAMRA National Pub of the year 2007 are:<br />
Turks Head, 49-51 Morley Street, St Helens,<br />
Land of Liberty, Peace and Plenty, Long Lane, Heronsgate, Hertfordshire,<br />
Old Spot, Hill Road, Dursley, Gloucestershire,<br />
Blue Peter Hotel, Kirkcolm, Dumfries; Galloway.<br />
<br />
<b>Feb 08 update: And the winner is: The Old Spot - a fine pub according to my Gloucestershire snout Mr Quanters</b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">OSSETT TAPS OFF</span></b><br />
<b>Aug 08: Wakefield's famous brew pub Fernandes Tap has been snapped up by Ossett Brewery - but Fernandes brews will continue and the downstairs part of the pub (currently an old shop) is to developed. It's Ossett's 10th pub.</b><br />
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Fernandes is a fine pub and it's good to see the beers will be continued to be made (sounds like Ossett has the same arrangement with the Riverhead pub and beers in Marsden). The Tap is also rather cramped and will be good to see get another room and a proper downstairs entrance rather than the miserable set of stairs at present.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;"></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">RAT ON A ROLL!</span></b><br />
<b>June 07: The Rat and Ratchet has been named Huddersfield's best pub for mild beer, its second award in a month from the Campaign For Real Ale.</b><br />
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The boozer was given the award by Camra after a vote by drinkers and it comes just weeks after it was named Pub Of The Year by the branch.<br />
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The award comes after the pub hosted a festival on May 5 to celebrate National Mild Month with only milds on pump<br />
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Well-deserved awards for the Rat. As I've written before, this is the best pub in Huddersfield and the Camra branch has taken too long to recognise it as such. They're usually split between The Star and The Station - two very different pubs.<br />
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The Rat is a handsome pub with a good selection of northern, dark ales, friendly service with a great jukey.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>HAPPY GREETLAND</b><br />
</span><b>June 07:The Greetland Community & Sporting Association in the village of Greetland, near Halifax, is Camra's Club of the Year 2007. </b><br />
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The club steward, Mr Ian Sinclair said: "The secret to the success of the club is simple. We scour Britain for the best real ales in the land and make sure they are always in peak condition when they are served. Our members love the fact we have six handpumps on permanently with the finest ales."<br />
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Other finalists in the competition were:<br />
Ø Cheltenham Motor Club, - Cheltenham, Gloucestershire<br />
Ø Coombs Wood Sports & Social Club - Halesowen, West Midlands<br />
Ø Dartford Working Men' Club, - Dartford, Kent.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">CAMRA BRANCHES PUBS OF THE YEAR 2007</span></b><br />
Bradford - The Junction, Baildon (second year running)<br />
Halifax - Red Rooster, Brighouse<br />
Huddersfield - Rat and Ratchet<br />
Leeds - Guiseley Factory Workers Club, Guiseley<br />
Sheffield (city) - Kelham Island Tavern (fourth year running)<br />
Sheffield (district) - Cheshire Cheese, Hope<br />
York - Blue Bell<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>CAPITALIST VULTURES CIRCLE OVER MARX'S LOCAL</b><br />
</span><b>April 07: The Crescent, in Salford, is up for sale and although it's being sold as a pub and is Grade 2 listed, it's possible that it could be knocked down to make way for houses or offices as it's in a development area.</b><br />
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This was the boozer where Marx and Engels used to sup in the 1860s. Engels lived in the area to gather evidence for his book 'The Condition of the Working Class in England' and he formed a formidable team with Marx in the local quiz league.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">PIGEONS IN FLIGHT</span></b><br />
<b>March 07: The fabulous Three Pigeons in Halifax has won a national Camra/English Heritage conservation award and has been named the best back street boozer in Britain (along with a pub in Kent), while the equally good The Works, in nearby Sowerby Bridge, has won Camra's national conversion to pub award.<br />
</b><br />
The Three Pigeons is a wonderful four room pub, cosy decor, comfy seats and being an Ossett pub has plenty of good ales. The Works by contrast turns an old workshed to a big modern boozer.<br />
<br />
On The Three Pigeons, the judges said: “Opened in 1932, the original architects Jackson and Fox opted for an eclectic mix of neo-Georgian and then highly-fashionable Art Deco. Sold as a free house in the 1980s, the pub was resold to the Izakaya Pub Company, trading as Ossett Brewery, in 2005.<br />
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“The careful refurbishment recently carried out is exemplary The original multi-room plan has been retained - as has the engaging painted ceiling in the central hall - and the splendid tiled fireplace insets and oak-veneered bar counter, all dating from the 1930s, have been given a new lease of life. The whole effect is distinctly warm and welcoming, conjuring up exactly what visitors to Britain would imagine a pub to be. Perhaps most impressively, all of the new work has been executed on a shoestring budget, demonstrating that enthusiasm and sensitivity are often far better for old buildings than bulging corporate wallets and planning strategies.”<br />
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Of The Works, the judges said: “Originally an engineering workshop dating back to the end of the nineteenth century, this basic interior has been treated simply but effectively by local architects Hawden Russell. There is no artifice here, nor any fake history, but merely a very individual, multi-functioning building. The whole interior has been brought together visually by the well-chosen historic fittings bought by the owner on ebay. Altogether a good example of what can be done to bring a problem building, which seemed to have no obvious future, back to a highly successful commercial life.<br />
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Joe Goodwin Award for the best street-corner local to be shared between Three Pigeons and Prince of Wales, In herne Bay<br />
The judges said: “This award in memory of the former CAMRA chair, goes jointly to The Prince of Wales in Herne Bay and the Three Pigeons in Halifax. These two old pubs, which together epitomise the best in traditional pubs, show how updating an old interior need not mean eradicating its unique charm or ignoring local customers favour of imposing a short-lived corporate identity derived from national focus groups. This proves a small budget, wisely and thoughtfully applied, can do wonders.”<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.riverheadbrewery.co.uk/about_us/images/image_f3.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.riverheadbrewery.co.uk/about_us/images/image_f3.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">OSSETT TAKES OVER RIVERHEAD</span><br />
Dec 2006: Ossett Brewery has taken over The Riverhead in Marsden, but the pub will still be allowed to brew its own beers.<br />
</b><br />
The Riverhead opened in a former grocer's shop in the centre of the village in 1995 and has a range of bitters, milds, porters and stouts, named after reservoirs. It's strangely been excluded from the Good Beer Guide for the last two years.<br />
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Ossett, which owns eight pubs in west Yorkshire, will sell its own beers in The Riverhead alongside existing brews.<br />
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Info: Hudds Examiner. Pic: Riverhead website<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>STATION TO OPEN TIL 3?</b><br />
</span><b>Dec 2006: Good Beer Guide pub The Station Tavern, in Huddersfield, wants to open until 3am.</b><br />
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The pub, which is sited in the train station and was a former<br />
station licensed refreshment room, would open from 9am with cafe facilities, if its application is successful. At present it usually closes at 11pm even at weekends.<br />
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It would also change its name to the Kings Head.<br />
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The Station's ale is spot-on and the staff are friendly and most of the customers are too, although there's a few ageing hard men in there.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.footballandrealaleguide.co.uk/media/123142.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.footballandrealaleguide.co.uk/media/123142.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>ANVIL'S THE BEST IN THE PREMIERSHIP</b><br />
</span><b>Oct 2006: Readers of the excellent Football and Real Ale Guides have voted the Anvil in Wigan as the best pub in the Premiership.<br />
</b><br />
Fans of each division chose their favourites pubs in the guides, with the Bridge Beir Huis, in Burnley the Championship winner and the Fighting Cock in Bradford top of Division One. The Birbeck Tavern in Leyton is the Division Two winner.<br />
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The Anvil and Fighting Cock are both excellent pubs and both good places to watch the rugby league as well.<br />
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The best real ale towns/cities per division were Newcastle, Derby, Nottingham and Peterborough.<br />
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Stedders, author of the guides, has come up with a brilliant but simple idea - four books covering teams in the four divisions with five real ale pubs per town/city. Attractively designed and well-written.<br />
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Picture from website www.footballandrealaleguide.co.uk<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">CAMRA PUBS OF THE YEAR</span></b><br />
<b>Oct 2006: Every year Camra asks its 16 regional branches to choose its pubs of the year and Yorkshire pub of the year is the great West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury train station.</b><br />
<br />
Vale Cottage, in Gorton was voted best pub in Greater Manchester; Wasdale Head Inn, Wasdale Head, Cumbria is best in the north west, and the Bhurtpore Arms, in Aston, Cheshire is best in Merseyside and North Wales.<br />
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They'll all find out if they're national pub of the year early next year.<br />
<b>Feb 2007: Dewsbury into last four, up against Failford Inn, in South Ayrshire, The Dove Street Inn, Ipswich and the Tom Cobley Tavern, Spreyton, Devon. And the winner is...sadly the Tom Cobley, West Riding is runner-up.</b><br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/citylife/pubs/images/bowlingGreen_270.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/citylife/pubs/images/bowlingGreen_270.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">BOWLING GREEN- R.I.P.<br />
</span>September 2006: One of Britain's greatest and most unusual pubs has closed and, after fears it could be converted into flats, it is to become a Wetherspoon's.</b><br />
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The Bowling Green, in Otley, always had a great selection of real ales, but what made it special was the paraphanalia/junk which crammed the pub - stuffed snarling badgers, gas masks and a skeleton were among the 3,500 items inside. Customers even brought their own unusual items and left them in the pub.<br />
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The landlord, Trevor, was a rather forbidding character with his big hat, bushy beard and unblinking stare. It looked like you had to pull a thorn from his paw to get on with him.<br />
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Last year, he got planning permission for a flat conversion but regulars were expecting him to leave in a few years. Instead, they only got a few days' notice and the pub shut at the end of August. It says "Closed for refurbishment" on the door and Trevor told the Wharfedale and Airedale Observer he isn't allowed to say what the new developers will do exactly. (It later transpired that Wetherspoon's have bought it)<br />
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The 61-year-old is retiring after 40 years in the pub trade. He's been running the Bowling Green with his partner Judith for 25 years.<br />
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Wetherspoon's are likely to keep the name but will be serving food, converting outbuildings to extend the pub and opening til 1am. In a way it's a mixed blessing, as Trevor himself says in the Wharfedale and Airedale Observer, other pubs are terrified of Wetherspoon's.<br />
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The landlord of Otley's Black Swan apear to confirm these fears saying the cheap drink will attract trouble-making "outsiders" and added: "In my experience some Otley folk don't take too kindly to people from places like Guiseley coming in to drink. It is a recipe for disaster."<br />
<br />
There'll be no snarling badgers or any other stuff in the pub. Trevor had auction for all the unusual artefacts on September 23 which attracted hundreds of people.<br />
<br />
A ten foot long crocodile sold for £700, a wild boar's head for £240 and a coffin, complete with skeleton, went to start a new life as a filming prop while various stuffed foxes picked up anything between £30 and £50.<br />
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Why was the pub filled with paraphanalia? Apparently people started bringing various objects when the pub's DJ had an unusual objects competition.<br />
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And, as you can see from the comment below, the stuffed badger sparked a great chat-up line when my mate asked two women in the pub who would win in a fight between a badger and an otter.<br />
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Picture: Leeds Camra<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">HUDDS' NEW REAL ALE PUB</span></b><br />
<b>June 2006: The Grove, a corner pub on the outskirts of the town centre, has reopened as a real ale boozer.</b><br />
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I'd never been in before, it always looked slightly ropey, but it's a handsome enough building with traditional Hudds yellow brick and big bay windows. The new landlord has added some hanging baskets.<br />
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He says he hasn't changed the two-bar structure inside but changed everything else and he's done a grand job with big sturdy tables and comfy dining room-type chairs, old fashioned cartoons on the walls and pub paraphanalia on shelves higher up.<br />
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There are eight real ales, including two Timmy Taylors, four obscure continental lagers and two real ciders on draught plus plenty of bottles.<br />
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The beer is in good order. On first visit it was a bit warm but now it's up to Rat/Star standard. The Grove is handy for these pubs as it's diagonally opposite the bus station on the other side of the ring road.<br />
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No food, no TV, no music, late opening. Worth a visit.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>ALBERT REVIVAL!</b><br />
</span><b>April 2006: The Albert pub has reopened after suddenly closing in January and looks.....exactly the same!</b><br />
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Well the ceiling looks different - corkboard colour - and everywhere's been painted but the layout, furniture and - most importantly - the glass and wood partitions are still in place.<br />
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When it closed under mysterious circumstances earlier this year there were fears this could all be ripped out and we could have another chrome and creamflow hell.<br />
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The landlord and landlady are from the Railway, in Berry Brow, a Good Beer Guide pub with a splendid Dalmatian.<br />
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For the Albert, they are promising eight ales,jazz night etc.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>FIELDHEAD BLUES</b><br />
</span><b>April 2006: The couple who've made my local such a good place are leaving on Sunday after 10 years.</b><br />
<br />
Russell and Lorraine Beverley go out on a high as the Fieldhead (in Quarmby near Huddersfield) has been named pub of the season for winter by Huddersfield's branch of the Campaign for Real Ale.<br />
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Russell has been brewing his own Empire range of tasty light bitters over the past couple of years and he's setting up his own brewery in Slaithwaite.<br />
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There've been rumours that Punch Taverns wouldn't allow him to brew his own ales at the Fieldhead - the corporate tossers.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">PROTECTION FOR BRITONS</span></b><br />
<b>March 2006: The licensee of Manchester's Grade 2 listed gem The Britons Protection has denied the pub is being demolished - but there are talks about moving it 15 feet!</b><br />
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Reports in the Manchester Evening News had suggested it would be demolished to make way for flats/offices with the promise that the pub would be built elsewhere.<br />
<br />
The licensee says it may be moved 15 feet into the space between the pub and Jury's Hotel. Such a move would only take 24 hours apparently. Mmmm...<br />
<br />
The Britons is a beautifully preserved boozer, a narrow bar at the front and two bars at the back full of odd nooks and crannies and wooden panelling to give it a warm, homely feel.<br />
<br />
It would be a disaster to build more yuppie flats and get rid of the buildings and pubs that give Manchester its unique identity - just like they replaced second-hand rummage emporium the Corn Exchange with the antiseptic designer fluff floggers in The Triangle.<br />
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Picture: CamraOlthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1143306223825369222014-12-02T07:30:00.000+00:002016-01-05T17:17:17.679+00:00BEER<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.camragreatermanchester.org.uk/images/dunham.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.camragreatermanchester.org.uk/images/dunham.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>DUNHAM GOOD</b></span><br />
Some breweries never let you down, no matter whether their beers are light or dark. strong or session - and Dunham Massey is one of them. So it's great DM's getting national recognition after winning Camra's Supreme Champion Winter Beer of Britain title at the Winter Beer Festival in Derby for their 5.2pc porter. Cairngorm Black Gold won silver and Exe Valley Winter Glow bronze. Marble's Stouter Stout got bronze in the stout category.<br />
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<a href="http://www.ellandbrewery.co.uk/wp-content/static-content/clips/1872_Porter_Crown.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.ellandbrewery.co.uk/wp-content/static-content/clips/1872_Porter_Crown.png" /></a></div>
Congratulations to <span style="font-size: large;"><b>Elland Brewery</b></span>. Its 1872 Porter has been crowned the Best Beer in Britain at the Camra Great British Beer Festival. Interesting to see in these crafty hoppy times, an 'old school beer' winner. It's superb. Another cracker, Saltaire's Triple Chocolate, was runner-up in the speciality beers category. The lovely Great Orme's Welsh Black was best mild<br />
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<a href="http://www.magicrockbrewing.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/high_wire-220x300.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://www.magicrockbrewing.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/high_wire-220x300.jpg" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HUDDERSFIELD BEERS ARE BEST IN THE WORLD!</b></span><br />
<br />
Congratulations to Magic Rock and Summer Wine breweries whose beers have been included in a list of <b>the best 350 beers in the world</b>.<br />
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They are featured in Craft Beer World, a handsome, informative and interesting book by award winning blogger Mark Dredge.<br />
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Huddersfield's Magic Rock actually has two entries - Magic 8 Ball, a black IPA, and High Wire, a West Coast pale ale, while Holmfirth's Summer Wine has Cohort, a double black Belgian Rye pale ale. <br />
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The 350 beers are divided into 53 categories, from the familiar mild and bitter to categories such as Belgian Quadrupel and Flemish Bruin. About a third of the beers in the list are from the US, with 40 from Britain including familiar names from The Grove, in Hudds, such as Thornbridge, Fullers, Brewdog, Moor and Buxton. <br />
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Dredge defines craft beer as 'a knowing, thoughtful way of brewing which is concerned with flavour, variety, ingredients and story', so it's not just about microbreweries and keg beers - cask, bottles, cans and beers by the biggest breweries are featured. It's a good definition as keg has moved far beyond Watneys Red Barrel and some cask and bottle conditioned beers do disappoint. <br />
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For me, it's hard to keep up with Yorkshire beers, never mind all the interesting looking bottles from abroad in the book. Dredge has a fascinating insight into beers from Iceland, Brazil, New Zealand, Belgium, Germany and many other countries, but I sometimes wonder that in a desire to move beyond and set themselves apart from Camra, beer lovers like Dredge are too eager to embrace American pale and hoppy beers. <br />
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Dredge says Magic Rock went from 'nought to brilliant in no time' and indeed they've made an incredible impact. I feel dreadfully disloyal because Magic Rock is literally at the end of my road but I find their US-style beers almost undrinkably bitter.<br />
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A 'tribute' to Lance. Tee-hee Rat Brewery!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HURRAH FOR ELLAND</b></span><br />
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Congratulations to the fantastic <b>Elland brewery</b> for winning CAMRA's Supreme Champion Winter Beer of Britain award with their 1872 Porter. In an age of whippersnapper new breweries harping on about hops on their fancy websites, it's good to see an 'old school' brewery with consistently high standards geting recognition.<br />
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Oct 12: Well, <b>the Huddersfield Beer Festival </b>is here again - it doesn't seem like a year since I was behind the bar at the last one. I can't make it this year but it's always a good do and seems to have found a decent venue - roomy, good bar and plenty of seats (yes, I am old and I like a sit down). Oh - there's a good range of beers, well-kept.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>BEER OF THE YEAR</b></span><br />
Aug 12: Congratulations to Coniston for winning best beer in Britain with its No9 Barley Wine, an 8.5% that supposedly tastes like 'a cognac'. Good to see Rudgate Ruby Mild, Hobsons Mild and Purple Moose in the best category lists.<br />
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Full results:<br />
Overall winners-<br />
Gold- Coniston, No.9 Barley Wine (from Coniston, Cumbria)<br />
Silver- Green Jack, Trawlerboys Best Bitter (from Lowestoft, Suffolk)<br />
Bronze- Dark Star, American Pale Ale (from Horsham, West Sussex)<br />
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Mild category-<br />
Gold- Rudgate, Ruby Mild (from York, North Yorkshire)<br />
Silver- Hobsons, Hobsons Mild (from Cleobury Mortimer, Shropshire)<br />
Bronze- Son of Sid, Muckcart Mild (from Little Gransden, Bedfordshire)<br />
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Bitters-<br />
Gold- Purple Moose, Snowdonia Ale (from Porthmadog, Gwynedd)<br />
Silver- Tintagel, Castle Gold (from Tintagel, Cornwall)<br />
Joint Bronze- Flowerpots, Bitter (from Cheriton, Hampshire)<br />
Joint Bronze- Fuller’s, Gale’s Seafarers Ale (from London, W4)<br />
Joint Bronze- Salopian, Shropshire Gold (from Shrewsbury, Shropshire)<br />
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Best Bitters-<br />
Gold- Green Jack, Trawlerboys Best Bitter (from Lowestoft, Suffolk)<br />
Silver, Salopian, Hop Twister (from Shrewsbury, Shropshire)<br />
Joint Bronze- Oakwell, Senior Bitter (from Barnsley, South Yorkshire)<br />
Joint Bronze- Milton, Pegasus (from Milton, Cambridgeshire)<br />
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Golden Ales-<br />
Gold- Dark Star, American Pale Ale (from Horsham, West Sussex)<br />
Silver- Cumbrian Legendary Ales, Langdale (from Hawkshead, Cumbria)<br />
Bronze- Hobsons, Town Crier (from Cleobury Mortimer, Shropshire)<br />
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Strong Bitters-<br />
Gold- Dark Star, Festival (from Horsham, West Sussex)<br />
Silver- O’Hanlon’s, Stormstay (from Whimple, Devon)<br />
Bronze- Highland, Orkney IPA (from Swannay, Orkney)<br />
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Speciality Beers-<br />
Gold- Dunham Massey, Chocolate Cherry Mild (from Dunham Massey, Gtr Manchester)<br />
Silver- Little Valley, Hebden’s Wheat (from Hebden Bridge, West Yorkshire)<br />
Bronze- Nethergate, Umbel Magna (from Pentlow, Essex)<br />
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Champion Winter Beer of Britain (from category winners announced in January 2012)-<br />
Coniston, No.9 Barley Wine (from Coniston, Cumbria)<br />
Hammerpot, Bottle Wreck Porter (from Poling, West Sussex)<br />
Cairngorm, Black Gold (from Aviemore, Highlands)<br />
Driftwood, Alfie’s Revenge (from St Agnes, Cornwall)<br />
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Champion Bottled Beer of Britain winners-<br />
Gold- Stewart, Embra (from Loanhead, Midlothian)<br />
Silver- Great Gable, Yewbarrow (from Egremont, Cumbria)<br />
Bronze- Molson Coors, Worthington’s White Shield (from Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire)<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">Champion Winter Beer of Britain 2012 </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 12: Lots of unfamiliar beers and brewers in this year's list. The winner is a 6.5% ABV old ale is described in CAMRA's Good Beer Guide 2012 as a ‘strong and fruity, well-balanced premium ale’.</span><br />
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Overall result<br />
Gold- Driftwood, Alfie’s Revenge (St Agnes, Cornwall)<br />
Silver- Cairngorm, Black Gold (Aviemore, Highlands)<br />
Bronze- Coniston, No 9 Barley Wine (Coniston, Cumbria)<br />
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Old Ales and Strong Milds category<br />
Gold- Driftwood, Alfie’s Revenge (St Agnes, Cornwall)<br />
Joint Silver- Nant, Mwnci Nell (Llanrwst, Conwy)<br />
Joint Silver- Brunswick, Black Sabbath (Derby, Derbyshire)<br />
Bronze- Beowulf, Dark Raven (Brownhills, Staffordshire)<br />
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Porters category<br />
Gold- Hammerpot, Bottle Wreck Porter (Poling, West Sussex)<br />
Silver- Blythe, Johnson’s (Hamstall Ridware, Staffordshire)<br />
Bronze- Sulwath, Black Galloway (Castle Douglas, Dumfries and Galloway)<br />
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Stouts category<br />
Gold- Cairngorm, Black Gold (Aviemore, Highlands)<br />
Silver- Cambridge Moonshine, Black Hole Stout (Fulbourn, Cambridgeshire) <br />
Bronze- Acorn, Gorlovka (Wombwell, South Yorkshire)<br />
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Barley Wines category<br />
Gold- Coniston, No 9 Barley Wine (Coniston, Cumbria)<br />
Silver- Moor, Old Freddy Walker (Pitney, Somerset)<br />
Bronze- Isle of Skye, Cuillin Beast (Uig, Isle of Skye)<br />
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<a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT-KzcPCR9WNZYCAnovQvhTRyGHyjlAKvLwavs_bGmQ5kgqYnvKwA" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT-KzcPCR9WNZYCAnovQvhTRyGHyjlAKvLwavs_bGmQ5kgqYnvKwA" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 210px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 240px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SIBA NORTHERN WINNERS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 11: One of the biggest beer competitions, the Society of Independent Brewers Northern Region Beer Competition, featured some of my favourite brewers and some noteable wins.</span><br />
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About 80 northern SIBA breweries submitted 254 cask beers and 62 bottled beers which were tasted by 130 judges.<br />
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Overall champion was Hawkshead but Ossett won the Porters, Strong Milds, Old Ales & Stouts category with its Treacle Stout (which I rarely see in draught) while Ilkley Brewery's lovely Stout Mary took silver. Ossett's excellent Excelsior was second in the strong beer category.<br />
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Elland Brewery's fantastic 1872 Porter won the Premium Strong Beers class and its bottled version was also a winner, while new boy Kirkstall Brewery Company took silver with its Kirkstall Three Swords in the Premium Bitters class.<br />
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Allgates from Wigan took silver in the mild class and Marble's Manchester was third overall and won the best bitter class. Standish's Prospect was second in the standard bitters class for Whatever!<br />
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Full results:<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">OVERALL CHAMPION</span><br />
Gold Hawkshead Brewery Windermere Pale 3.5 per cent<br />
Silver Three B’s Brewery Stokers Slake 3.6 (Blackburn)<br />
Bronze Marble Brewery Manchester Bitter 4.2<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Standard Mild Ales</span><br />
Gold Three B’s Brewery Stokers Slake 3.6<br />
Silver Allgates Brewery Ltd All Black 3.6<br />
Bronze The Coach House Brewing Co Ltd Gunpowder Mild 3.8<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Standard Bitters</span><br />
Gold Hawkshead Brewery Windermere Pale 3.5<br />
Silver Prospect Brewery Whatever! 3.8<br />
Bronze Watermill Inn & Brewery Collie Wobbles 3.7<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best Bitters</span><br />
Gold Marble Brewery Manchester Bitter 4.2<br />
Silver Mordue Brewery Northumbrian Blonde 4<br />
Bronze Cumbrian Legendary Ales Langdale 4<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Premium Bitters</span><br />
Gold Red Willow Brewery Wreckless 4.8<br />
Silver Kirkstall Brewery Company Kirkstall Three Swords 4.5<br />
Bronze Saltaire Brewery Cascade Pale Ale 4.8<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Strong Bitters</span><br />
Gold The Jarrow Brewery Isis 5<br />
Silver Ossett Brewing Company Excelsior 5.2<br />
Bronze Great Heck Brewing Company Ltd Hequinox 5<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Premium Strong Beers</span><br />
Gold Elland Brewery Limited 1872 Porter 6.5<br />
Silver Hardknott Brewery Infra Red 6.2<br />
Bronze Hawkshead Brewery N.Z.P.A. 6<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Porters, Strong Milds, Old Ales & Stouts</span><br />
Gold Ossett Brewing Company Treacle Stout 5.0<br />
Silver The Ilkley Brewery Company Stout Mary 4.5<br />
Bronze Great Newsome Brewery Jems Stout 4.3<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Speciality Beers</span><br />
Gold The Jarrow Brewery Westoe IPA 4.6<br />
Silver Acorn Brewery of Barnsley Ltd Blonde 4<br />
Bronze Allendale Brew Co Ltd Black Grouse 4<br />
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Elland's 1872 Porter also won the Bottled Bottled Porters, Milds, Old Ales & Stouts category and was second in the overall Bottled Beer category (won by Peerless Brewing's Jinja Ninja from Birkenhead)<br />
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Elland's Ushuaia finshed third in the Bottled Bitter Up To 4.9% category, won by Cumbrian Legendary Ales's Langdale.<br />
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Saltaire Brewery's fabulous Triple Chocoholic was third in the Bottled Speciality Beers category (won by Peerless Brewing's Jinja Ninja). Saltaire's Cascade was third in the Bottled Gold Beers (won by Peerless Brewing's Hilbre Gold)<br />
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Acorn's Old Moor Porter was third in the Porters, Milds, Old Ales, Stouts class.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GvlhgnrPVAA/ToroLDbGsII/AAAAAAAAADY/pVHzjF9Dcf4/s1600/Rat%2Bbeers.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5659591158339645570" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-GvlhgnrPVAA/ToroLDbGsII/AAAAAAAAADY/pVHzjF9Dcf4/s200/Rat%2Bbeers.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 125px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">RAT BEERS</span><br />
Oct 11: Had a quick slurp of the new <span style="font-weight: bold;">Rat and Ratchet beers</span> (see above) at the great Huddersfield pub of the same name.<br />
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Need more in depth testing, of course, but I found most of them a little too bitter for me. I could say floral notes but it sounds like a guest speaker at a WI.<br />
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Black Rat is a mild, the rest are light and golden.<br />
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When the beers were first launched, the pub's beer range was dominated by Ossett and Rat beers, squeezing out an excellent range of local guests, but on subsequent visits they've got the balance right.<br />
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PS Also tried Brown Rat - v nice and malty. There's a also a wheat one Rattus Rattus and a porter.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Linfit Beers are back on!Oh yes! The Sair Inn is brewing again months after a brewery fire. Old Eli, a lovely malty beer, was in good order.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kAKyES3X1Tg/TnWRWPH0bCI/AAAAAAAAADI/992DRdb_HZc/s1600/Sportsman%2Bporter.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5653584718436002850" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kAKyES3X1Tg/TnWRWPH0bCI/AAAAAAAAADI/992DRdb_HZc/s200/Sportsman%2Bporter.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 200px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 150px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">WEST YORKSHIRE - BEER CAPITAL</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 11: West Yorkshire has more breweries than any other region in Britain, Camra says.</span><br />
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An incredible 43, according to Camra - 10 more than their nearest challengers Derbyshire and North Yorkshire (Greater Manchester has 25). In fact, as you can see below, since Camra published the figures in the Good Beer Guide and elsewhere, there are now 47 breweries in West Yorkshire.<br />
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West Yorkshire also leads the way with number of beers - 276, according to Camra.<br />
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Here's my list, based on Camra, Quaff Ale, breweries seen in pubs and online. New breweries are marked 2010 and 2011.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Breweries:</span><br />
Barearts (Todmorden)<br />
Bob’s (Ossett)<br />
Brass Monkey (Sowerby Bridge)<br />
Brewery Tap (Leeds) 2011<br />
Bridestones (Blackshaw Head)<br />
Bridge House (Oxenhope) 2010<br />
Briscoe’s (Otley)<br />
Bronte (Brighouse) probably<br />
Burley Street (Leeds) formerly Fox and Fox and Newt<br />
Clarks (Wakefield)<br />
Eastwood (Elland)<br />
Elland (Elland)<br />
Empire (Slaithwaite)<br />
Fernandes (Wakefield)<br />
Five Towns (Wakefield)<br />
Golcar (Golcar)<br />
Goose Eye (Ingrow Bridge)<br />
Halifax Steam (Hipperholme)<br />
Haworth Steam (Haworth) 2011<br />
Ilkley (Ilkley)<br />
Kirkstall (Leeds) 2011<br />
Landlord’s Friend (Luddenfoot) 2010<br />
Leeds (Leeds)<br />
Linfit (Linthwaite)<br />
Little Valley (Cragg Vale)<br />
Magic Rock (Oakes) 2011<br />
Mallinsons (Huddersfield)<br />
Milltown (Milnsbridge) 2011<br />
Moorview (Guiseley) 2011<br />
Nook (Holmfirth)<br />
Old Bear (Keighley)<br />
Old Spot (Cullngworth)<br />
Ossett (Ossett)<br />
Owenshaw (Sowerby Bridge) 2011<br />
Partners (Dewsbury) – formerly Anglo Dutch<br />
Rat and Ratchet (Huddersfield) 2011<br />
Revolutions (Whitwood) 2010<br />
Ridgeside (Leeds) 2010<br />
Riverhead (Marsden)<br />
Rodham’s (Otley)<br />
Salamander (Bradford)<br />
Saltaire (Shipley)<br />
Sportsman (Huddersfield) 2011 - pictured<br />
Summer Wine (Honley)<br />
Taylor’s (Keighley)<br />
Tigertops (Wakefield)<br />
Wharfebank (Pool in Wharfedale) 2010<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Favourites:</span><br />
The breweries who never let you down whatever beers they make.<br />
Goose Eye<br />
Ilkley<br />
Riverhead<br />
Salamander<br />
Saltaire<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Huddersfield and surrounding area:</span><br />
Some cracking breweries old and new<br />
Empire (Slaithwaite)<br />
Golcar (Golcar)<br />
Magic Rock (Oakes)<br />
Mallinsons (Huddersfield)<br />
Milltown (Milnsbridge)<br />
Nook (Holmfirth)<br />
Riverhead (Marsden)<br />
Sportsman (Huddersfield)<br />
Summer Wine (Honley)<br />
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<a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQtchD7x5wHJieOCBulPV7VI2GYtr6Q1SFK2gOzHTcXOCdSTo1s5A" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQtchD7x5wHJieOCBulPV7VI2GYtr6Q1SFK2gOzHTcXOCdSTo1s5A" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 261px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 193px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CHAMPION BEER OF BRITAIN</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 11: Blogging about beer is becoming more technical, I reckon. When I started this blog I didn’t see many mentions of types of hops, but now it’s Citra this and Syrus that. (Is Syrus a hop? It sounds like it should be. Anything that sounds like a baddy in a superhero comic sounds hoppy).</span><br />
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I suppose there’s a bit of blokey oneupmanship about arcane details, in much the same way as football, trains and music get encyclopedically recalled. (‘Encyclopedically?’ Blimey sorry to get Will Self on your ass)<br />
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Personally, I find all this beer detail tedious, but I’m also get miffed that the prevailing trend for ‘quality’ beers is for bitter, hoppy ones - and not dark, sweet ones.<br />
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But it was a dark sweet one-two at the Great British Beer Fest, with Mighty Oak brewery's Oscar Wilde crowned the Best Beer in Britain and Chocolate Marble the runner-up.<br />
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I've tried the latter but not the winner - described as 'roasty dark mild with suggestions of forest fruits and dark chocolate'.<br />
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As I’ve said before, I think the competition for best beer in Britain is good as a showcase of real ale, but best beer in the country? Mmm, not sure – a different set of judges would no doubt have chosen a different selection on the day and I’m never quite sure how the beers in contention are chosen.<br />
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Here are the winners:<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Overall </span><br />
Champion Beer of Britain - Mighty Oak, Oscar Wilde (3.7% ABV, Maldon, Essex)<br />
Second - Marble, Chocolate (5.5% ABV, Manchester, Gtr Manchester)<br />
Third - Salopian, Shropshire Gold (3.8%ABV, Shrewsbury, Shropshire)<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
Mild category</span><br />
Gold- Mighty Oak, Oscar Wilde (3.7% ABV, Maldon, Essex)<br />
Silver- Rudgate, Ruby Mild (4.4% ABV, York, North Yorkshire)<br />
Bronze- Coastal, Merry Maidens (4% ABV, Redruth, Cornwall)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bitter category</span><br />
Gold- Salopian, Shropshire Gold (3.8%ABV, Shrewsbury, Shropshire)<br />
Silver- Teignworthy, Reel Ale (4% ABV, Newton Abbot, Devon)<br />
Joint Bronze- Triple fff, Alton's Pride (3.8% ABV, Alton, Hampshire)<br />
Joint Bronze- Potton, Shannon IPA (3.6% ABV, Potton, Bedfordshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best Bitter category</span><br />
Gold- Houston, Peter's Well (4.2% ABV, Houston, Renfrewshire)<br />
Silver- Country Life, Golden Pig (4.7% ABV, Bideford, Devon)<br />
Joint Bronze- Castle Rock, Preservation (4.4% ABV, Nottingham, Nottinghamshire)<br />
Joint Bronze- Bollington, Best Bitter (4.2% ABV, Bollington, Cheshire)<br />
Joint Bronze- Blythe, Staffie (4.4% ABV, Rugeley, Staffordshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Golden Ale category</span><br />
Gold- Cumbrian Legendary Ales, Loweswater Gold (4.3% ABV, Hawkshead, Cumbria)<br />
Silver- Salamander, Golden Salamander (4.5% ABV, Bradford, West Yorkshire)<br />
Bronze- Holden's, Golden Glow (4.4% ABV, Dudley, West Midlands)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Strong Bitter category</span><br />
Gold- Moles, Mole Catcher (5% ABV, Melksham, Wiltshire)<br />
Silver- Kinver, Half Centurion (5% ABV, Kinver, Staffordshire)<br />
Bronze- Adnams Broadside (4.7% ABV, Southwold, Suffolk)<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
Speciality Beer category</span><br />
Gold- Oakleaf, I Can't Believe It's Not Bitter (4.9% ABV, Gosport, Hampshire)<br />
Silver- Amber, Chocolate Orange Stout (4% ABV, Ripley, Derbyshire)<br />
Bronze- Orkney, Atlas Wayfarer (4.4% ABV, Stromness, Orkney)<br />
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<a href="http://www.magicrockbrewing.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/rapture-220x300.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.magicrockbrewing.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/rapture-220x300.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 300px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 220px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ROCK N ROLL 2</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">A new Huddersfield brewery</span>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Magic Rock, was launched at The Grove on June 21.</span><br />
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Great to see the pub packed on a Tuesday and the beers appeared to go down well, although, personally, I'm not a fan of such dry, bitter, hoppy beers.<br />
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The brewery, based in Oakes, is inspired by a love of US craft beers. When I was in New York I drank Bass (puffs out chest and clutches lapels in a Bradley Hardacre manner. 'Appen!)<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AkEKexolTfw/TfAA6gwc1EI/AAAAAAAAADA/R_5UU49W6f4/s1600/Photo214.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5615989740556571714" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AkEKexolTfw/TfAA6gwc1EI/AAAAAAAAADA/R_5UU49W6f4/s200/Photo214.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 200px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 120px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ROCK 'N' ROLL!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">June 11: </span>A new Huddersfield brewery, Magic Rock, will be launched at The Grove on June 21.<br />
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It's run by two brothers, Richard and Jonathan Burhouse, and brewer Stuart Ross (Kelham Island, Acorn).<br />
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On tap will be Curious 3.9% 'original pale ale', Rapture 4.6% 'red hop ale' and High Wire 5.5% 'West Coast pale ale' and 7.4% IPA Cannonball available on keg. They also do a 6% stout, Dark Arts.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Z_KJfjSAj6o/Sl8x6m8ofAI/AAAAAAAAEls/Dx-a_9GN9Ug/s200/The_Sportsman_Logo_300_%5B1%5D.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Z_KJfjSAj6o/Sl8x6m8ofAI/AAAAAAAAEls/Dx-a_9GN9Ug/s200/The_Sportsman_Logo_300_%5B1%5D.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 200px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BACK OF THE NET!</span><span style="font-size: 130%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">June 11: </span>The Sportsman pub<span style="font-weight: bold;">,</span> in Huddersfield, never rests on its laurels.<br />
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After revitalising a forgotten boozer, now one of the best in Huddersfield, it is now brewing its own beers.<br />
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Its Pigeon Bridge Porter is delicious. I could say coffee notes but I'd rather say, unlike some porters, it doesn't taste like half an ashtray's been tipped into it. There's a (very) pale ale too, Alpha.<br />
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<a href="http://anglodutchbrewery.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/angel-poster500.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://anglodutchbrewery.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/angel-poster500.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 306px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SOLD - ANGLO DUTCH BREWERY</span><br />
June 11: </span>One of the best breweries in the country, Anglo Dutch, has been sold. One of the new owners is Paul Horne from The Spotted Cow in Drighlington. Founder Paul Klos will be staying on to pass on his brewing expertise and the brewery will still be based in Dewsbury. (From Hudds Examiner)<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">COCK-A-DOODLE-DONE!</span><br />
April 11:</span> Roosters Brewery to Ian Fozzard and sons Oliver and Tom. Ian is MD of Market Town Taverns, Oliver has brewing experience with Daleside and Copper Dragon. Tom has retail experience with Beer Ritz<br />
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<a href="http://ilkleybrewery.co.uk/images/beers/icon_maryjane_lg.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://ilkleybrewery.co.uk/images/beers/icon_maryjane_lg.gif" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 202px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 155px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">ILKLEY</span> BREWERY'S GETTING BIGGER</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 11: One of the best new breweries, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Ilkley</span> Brewery, is about to get a lot bigger.</span><br />
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It has opened a 20-barrel brewing plant in the town, meaning it can brew 20,000 pints a week, almost five times the amount it was making in 2009 when the original eight-barrel brewery was founded elsewhere in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ilkley</span>.<br />
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Brewery owners Chris Ives and Stewart Ross, who previously worked in commercial property, had no previous brewing experience, apart from a three-day brewing course.<br />
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Well, you would never have guessed. They’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">ve</span> produced a range of excellent beers – with Mary Jane and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Ilkley</span> Black the highlights.<br />
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Unlike some other new breweries, Ilkley has stuck to a core range plus specials, rather than trying to please the tickers with a new beer every month.<br />
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They owners have<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"></span> also got the beer right before they’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">ve</span> gone mad with a bells and whistles websites and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">bigging</span> up an average product.<br />
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Major wholesalers will now supply beers across the country and the brewery projects a turnover of £750,000 with <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">pre</span>-tax profits in excess of £100,000 by December 2011. The owners originally invested £70,000 in the brewery.<br />
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<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Ilkley</span> beers are on sale at over 200 pubs in Yorkshire. Mary Jane, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Ilkley</span> Best and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Ilkley</span> Black beers are also sold in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Asda</span> and Booths supermarkets.<br />
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They use the lovely water from the old spa town and maybe that's helped them win a host of awards. Mary Jane won a Society of Independent Brewers gold award in November 2009 and there have been a further four <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">SIBA</span> medals since. The brewery has also scooped gold at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Ilkley</span>, Bradford, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Horsforth</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">Guiseley</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Leyburn</span> beer festivals.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">ILKLEY</span> BEER FESTIVAL</span><br />
Feb 11: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">Ilkey</span> Beer Festival winner: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Saltaire's</span> Hazelnut and Coffee Porter. Runner-up: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">Ilkley</span> Brewery's Mary Jane. A splendid £30,000 raised for charity.<br />
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<a href="http://www.alefestival.org.uk/winterales/images/logo2011.bmp" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.alefestival.org.uk/winterales/images/logo2011.bmp" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 237px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 175px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">NATIONAL WINTER ALES FESTIVAL</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 11: I paid a flying visit to the Winter Ales Festival, in Manchester, on the Friday. First time I've been in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">Camra's</span> relatively new venue, The Sheridan Suite, on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Oldham</span> Road, where the trendy Northern Quarter is only a 15 minute walk away but might as well be 50 miles away. This is a bleak road of scrap merchants, high rises and boarded-up pubs.</span><br />
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The venue itself is a rather anonymous modern building containing a huge, apparently windowless room, rather similar to the main room in the old festival venue, the Co-op, but a lot bigger.<br />
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For an organisation that prides itself on the state and condition of pubs it was a rather soulless place and I couldn't wait to get out of there, to be honest, - it was so crowded there was almost nowhere to stand without being in the way of people.<br />
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But the attractiveness of venue probably isn't the point. People were only there for the beer and it was so packed they had to stop letting folk in at about 8.30pm. There was a queue of about 50 people outside when I left.<br />
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A word for the volunteers, many of whom were run off their feet but were still quick and polite. I doubt if some 'professional' bar staff could have coped as well. It's sad to note that many of the volunteers were older than most of the people there. Come on drinkers, get <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">behnd</span> the bar - it's great fun, honest (although you'll be too exhausted to drink afterwards!).<br />
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It was also a well-run festival - clearly signed, so you could see where all the beers were, with a special dining area (the curry was top notch)<br />
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Entire Stout from the Hop Back Brewery, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">Wiltshire</span>, was crowned the Supreme Champion by a panel of beer writers, members of the licensed trade and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">CAMRA</span> members.<br />
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Thirty-five beers (9 Porters, 9 Stouts, 9 Old Ales / <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Milds</span> and 8 Barley Wines), chosen by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">CAMRA</span> branches and tasting panels, were entered into the final. The overall silver went to Chocolate brewed by Marble in Manchester, whilst the bronze medal went to Praetorian Porter brewed in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">Leicestershire</span> by Dow Bridge brewery.<br />
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I've tried the Hop Back but can't remember what it was like and the Chocolate isn't one of Marble's best. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">Exmoor</span> Beast was my favourite - a strong, sweet, dark, barley wine (one of the finalists). I also had a go at Red Squirrel's London Porter (a bronze medal winner) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Allgates</span>' Double Chocolate Stout and Yorkshire Dales' <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Garsdale</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">Smokebox</span><br />
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Full results:<br />
Overall winners<br />
Supreme Champion Winter Beer of Britain - Entire Stout, Hop Back (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Wiltshire</span>)<br />
Silver - Chocolate, Marble (Manchester)<br />
Bronze - Praetorian Porter, Dow Bridge (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">Leicestershire</span>)<br />
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Old Ales and Strong <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Milds</span> category<br />
Gold- Chocolate, Marble (Manchester)<br />
Silver- Old Ale, King (West Sussex)<br />
Bronze- Dark Raven, Beowulf (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">Staffordshire</span>)<br />
Other category finalists - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Shefford</span> Old Dark (B&T, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Bedfordshire</span>), Father Mike's Dark Ruby (Brunswick, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">Derbyshire</span>), Midnight Belle (Leeds, West Yorkshire), Highlander (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">Fyne</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">Argyll</span>, Scotland), Dark & Handsome (Box Steam, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">Wiltshire</span>), <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">Mwnci</span> Nell (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">Nant</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">Conwy</span>, Wales)<br />
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Porters category<br />
Gold- Praetorian Porter, Dow Bridge (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_48">Leicestershire</span>)<br />
Silver- Finns Hall Porter, Beowulf (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_49">Staffordshire</span>)<br />
Bronze- London Porter, Red Squirrel (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_50">Hertfordshire</span>)<br />
Other category finalists - Old Moor Porter (Acorn, South Yorkshire), Smoked Porter (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_51">Wapping</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_52">Merseyside</span>), Black Galloway (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_53">Sulwath</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_54">Dumfries</span> & Galloway, Scotland), Bottle Wreck Porter (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_55">Hammerpot</span>, West Sussex), Station Porter (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_56">Wickwar</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_57">Gloucestershire</span>), <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_58">Telford</span> Porter (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_59">Conwy</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_60">Conwy</span>, Wales)<br />
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Stouts category<br />
Gold- Entire Stout, Hop Back (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_61">Wiltshire</span>)<br />
Silver- Smokey <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_62">Joes</span> Black Beer, Hop Star (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_63">Lancashire</span>)<br />
Bronze- Nero, Milton (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_64">Cambridgeshire</span>)<br />
Other category finalists - Saint <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_65">Petersburg</span> (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_66">Thornbridge</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_67">Derbyshire</span>), Sauce of the Niall (Bull Lane, Tyne & Wear), Black Gold (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_68">Cairngorm</span>, Highlands, Scotland), <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_69">Zig</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_70">Zag</span> Stout (Milk Street, Somerset), Welsh Black (Heart of Wales, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_71">Powys</span>, Wales), Titanic Stout (Titanic, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_72">Staffordshire</span>)<br />
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Barley Wines category<br />
Gold- Old Ale, Holden's (West Midlands)<br />
Silver- Old Tom, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_73">Robinsons</span> (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_74">Stockport</span>, Cheshire)<br />
Bronze- Hibernator, Black Isle (Ross-shire, Scotland)<br />
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Other category finalists - Tally Ho! (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_75">Adnams</span>, Suffolk), Extinction Ale (Darwin, Tyne & Wear), Old 1066 Ale (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_76">Goacher's</span>, Kent), Beast (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_77">Exmoor</span>, Somerset), High as a Kite (Heart of Wales, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_78">Powys</span>, Wales)<br />
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<a href="http://siba.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/nationalbeercompetitionbar-300x165.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://siba.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/nationalbeercompetitionbar-300x165.jpg" style="display: block; height: 165px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">GREAT NORTHERN BEER FESTIVAL</span></b><br />
<b>Nov 10: The Society of Independent Brewers held its biggest northern competition in the Palace Hotel, Manchester, last weekend, with 300 different cask beers and 120 different bottled beers, a specially constructed cellar and bar for 56 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_79">handpumps</span>.</b><br />
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Even though the northern region has 120 different brewers, a handful dominated, including overall champion <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_80">Bowland</span> with three awards. Millstone of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_81">Mossley</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_82">Daleside</span> of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_83">Harrogate</span>, and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_84">Ilkley</span> also picked up three gongs. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_85">Ossett</span> picked up five, three for its bottled beers.<br />
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I don't think I've tried the winner, but runner-up True Grit's always a pleasure. In the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_86">milds</span>, all three are excellent, with Nutty Slack a particular delight. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_87">Eleswhere</span> it's good to see some of my favourite beers being acknowledged - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_88">Ossett's</span> Excelsior and Treacle Stout, York Guzzler and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_89">Elland</span> Porter.<br />
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A word too for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_90">Ilkley</span> Brewery, the 'baby' of the bunch as far as the big winners go. Formed in 2009 it has quickly established itself with a range of quality beers.<br />
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<b>Overall Champion of the Competition </b><br />
Gold The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_91">Bowland</span> Beer Company Ltd Admiral 4.4<br />
Silver Millstone Brewery Limited True Grit 5.0<br />
Bronze <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_92">Daleside</span> Brewery Ltd Monkey Wrench 5.3<br />
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<b><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_93">Milds</span> </b><br />
Gold Prospect Brewery Nutty Slack 3.9<br />
Silver (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_94">Ossett</span>) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_95">Fernandes</span> Brewery Malt Shovel Mild 3.8<br />
Bronze The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_96">Ilkley</span> Brewery Company Ltd <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_97">Ilkley</span> Black 3.7<br />
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<b>Bitters & Pale Ales (Up to 4.0%)</b><br />
Gold Millstone Brewery Limited Vale Mill 3.9<br />
Silver <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_98">Hawkshead</span> Brewery <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_99">Windermere</span> Pale 3.5<br />
Bronze York Brewery Guzzler 3.6<br />
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<b>Best Bitters (4.1 – 4.5%)</b><br />
Gold The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_100">Bowland</span> Beer Company Ltd. Admiral 4.4<br />
Silver The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_101">Bowland</span> Beer Company Ltd. Dragon 4.2<br />
Bronze The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_102">Ilkley</span> Brewery Company Ltd <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_103">Ilkley</span> Pale 4.2<br />
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<b>Premium Bitters (4.6 – 5.0)</b>Gold Millstone Brewery Limited True Grit 5.0<br />
Silver Wold Top Brewery Wold Gold 4.8<br />
Bronze <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_104">Bradfield</span> Brewery Ltd Farmers Pale Ale 5.0<br />
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<b>Strong Bitters (5.1 – 5.5)</b><br />
Gold <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_105">Daleside</span> Brewery Ltd Monkey Wrench 5.3<br />
Silver <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_106">Ossett</span> Brewery Excelsior 5.2<br />
Bronze <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_107">Kelham</span> Island Pale Rider 5.2<br />
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<b>Strong Ales (Over 5.6)</b><br />
Gold <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_108">Allgates</span> Brewery Limited Mad Monk 7.1<br />
Silver Peerless Brewing Company Limited Full Whack 6.0<br />
Bronze The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_109">Ilkley</span> Brewery Company Ltd Lotus IPA 5.6<br />
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<b>Porters, Strong <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_110">Milds</span>, Old Ales & Stouts</b><br />
Gold <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_111">Elland</span> Brewery 1872 Porter 6.5<br />
Silver <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_112">Bradfield</span> Brewery Ltd Farmers Stout 4.5<br />
Bronze Bank Top Brewery Leprechaun Stout 6.0<br />
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<b>Speciality Beers</b><br />
Gold The Coach House Brewing Co Ltd Blueberry Classic Bitter 5.0<br />
Silver <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_113">Beartown</span> Brewery Peach <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_114">Melbear</span> 4.4<br />
Bronze Roosters Brewery Honey Beer 5.0<br />
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<b>Bottled Beers</b><br />
Gold <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_115">Ossett</span> Brewery Treacle Stout 5.0<br />
Silver <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_116">Daleside</span> Brewery Ltd <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_117">Ripon</span> Jewel 5.8<br />
Bronze <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_118">Cumbrian</span> Legendary Ales <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_119">Croglin</span> Vampire 8.0<br />
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<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_120">Ossett's</span> Treacle Stout also won best bottled porter/mild/stout, while its Yorkshire <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_121">Blonde</span> Premium won best bottled gold beer.<br />
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Photo and results: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_122">SIBA</span><br />
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<b>Winners at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_123">Huddersfield</span> Oktoberfest:</b><br />
More wins for the prolific <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_124">Mallinsons</span>, one of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_125">Huddersfield's</span> most successful brewers. I have to say I don't try them much as they're a bit too bitter and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_126">hoppy</span> for me.<br />
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Overall Beer of the Festival: Castle Hill 4.6% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_127">abv</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_128">Mallinsons</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_129">Lindley</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_130">Huddersfield</span><br />
Mild of the Festival: Midnight Bell 4.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_131">abv</span>, Leeds Brewery, Leeds<br />
Bitter of the Festival: Cheers Charlie 3.9% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_132">abv</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_133">Mallinsons</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_134">Lindley</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_135">Huddersfield</span><br />
Strong Ale of the Festival: Castle Hill 4.6% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_136">abv</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_137">Mallinsons</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_138">Lindley</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_139">Huddersfield</span><br />
Stout/Porter of the Festival: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_140">Ossett</span> Treacle Stout 5.0% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_141">abv</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_142">Ossett</span> Brewery, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_143">Ossett</span><br />
Speciality Beer of the Festival: Rum for Cover 6.5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_144">abv</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_145">Fernandes</span>, Wakefield<br />
David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_146">Charlesworth</span> (‘Charlie’) Award for New Beer of the Festival: Cheers Charlie 3.9% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_147">abv</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_148">Mallinsons</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_149">Lindley</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_150">Huddersfield</span><br />
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<a href="http://huddscamra.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Oktoberfest-2010_500x705.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://huddscamra.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Oktoberfest-2010_500x705.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 405px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_151">HUDDERSFIELD</span> OKTOBERFEST - IT'S ON!</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 10: Phew! I was getting worried. There was no mention of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_152">Huddersfield's</span> beer festival in the August edition of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_153">Camra's</span> paper or the website earlier this week. But it's definitely on - October 14-16, at The Sikh Leisure Centre.</span><br />
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The late David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_154">Charlesworth</span> organised the festivals and picked this venue last year and what a good choice. It's a gym, effectively, but it's light and roomy and there' a nice atmosphere when it's full. I was thinking there might have been a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_155">Charlesworth</span> hole in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_156">organisation</span> this year, hence the delays, but it must be a swine to cross all the T's and dot all the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_157">I's</span> when organising a festival.<br />
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Ninety real ales are promised, plus ciders. All-day sessions on the Friday and Saturday, evening only on the Thursday. £3 for non-members, a quid for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_158">Camra</span> buffs.<br />
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I first realised the festival was on when I saw leaflets at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_159">Huddersfield</span> Food and Drink Festival, where I sampled halves from The Sportsman and The Star and noticed that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_160">Elland</span> brewery and the Nook pub/brewery also had stalls, even though they don't appear to be on the festival <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_161">nwebsite</span>.<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_162">Incidentally</span>, look out for Pots and Pies stall and try the lamb and mint - chunks of lovely meat in a soft pastry, near the Sportsman stall. (Sorry <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_163">Jones's</span> pies, I still love you)<br />
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<a href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTd1pkf1aM3P-E1hmDH9K_4Jjr65QoltwAe8J0kHkYx7bOLD2Q&t=1&usg=__tNxhD7oRxuLp-kgLRK4iChRERPA=" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTd1pkf1aM3P-E1hmDH9K_4Jjr65QoltwAe8J0kHkYx7bOLD2Q&t=1&usg=__tNxhD7oRxuLp-kgLRK4iChRERPA=" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 150px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 264px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">HURRAH FOR <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_164">GOLCAR</span>!</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 10: Great news for one of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_165">Huddersfield's</span> best breweries - a fantastic third place for the underrated <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_166">Golcar</span> Brewery in the Great British Beer Festival's mild category.</span><br />
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Underrated because this is a brewery that has <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_167">concentrated</span> on brewing since 2001, and not on a bells-and-whistles website and umpteen press releases before they've got the beer right.<br />
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It's a shame, too, that because of those darned tickers and their <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_168">unquenchable</span> desire for obscure beers from obscurer counties, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_169">Golcar</span> beers are only available regularly in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_170">Hudds</span> town centre at The Kings Head and The Sportsman.<br />
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So while the tickers are creaming over a rare <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_171">Chiblington's</span> Half Average from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_172">Juttington</span>-on-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_173">Trym</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_174">Golcar</span> beers remain relatively overlooked.<br />
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Elsewhere at the festival, it was a slightly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_175">disappointing</span> result as usual. Castle Rock's Harvest Pale was overall winner - pleasant but nowt special - and runner-up was Timmy Taylor's Landlord! Familiarity may breed contempt but really, Golden and Ram Tam are so much better.<br />
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Elsewhere it was good to see Purple Moose, Evan Evans, Orkney, St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_176">Austell</span>, Marble and, of course, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_177">Elland</span> in the running.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Overall winners</span><br />
Champion Beer of Britain - Castle Rock, Harvest Pale (3.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_178">ABV</span>, Nottingham, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_179">Notts</span>)Second - Timothy Taylor, Landlord (4.3% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_180">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_181">Keighley</span>, West Yorkshire)<br />
Third - Surrey Hills, Hammer Mild (3.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_182">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_183">Guildford</span>, Surrey)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mild category</span><br />
Gold- Surrey Hills, Hammer Mild (3.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_184">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_185">Guildford</span>, Surrey)<br />
Silver- Greene King, XX Mild (3% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_186">ABV</span>, Bury St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_187">Edmunds</span>, Suffolk)<br />
Joint Bronze- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_188">Golcar</span>, Dark Mild (3.4% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_189">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_190">Huddersfield</span>, West Yorkshire)<br />
Joint Bronze- Nottingham, Rock Ale Mild (3.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_191">ABV</span>, Nottingham, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_192">Notts</span>)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bitter category</span><br />
Gold- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_193">RCH</span>, PG Steam (3.9% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_194">ABV</span>, Weston-Super-Mare, Somerset)<br />
Silver- Moor, Revival (3.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_195">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_196">Pitney</span>, Somerset)<br />
Joint Bronze- Orkney, Raven (3.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_197">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_198">Stromness</span>, Orkney)<br />
Joint Bronze- Purple Moose, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_199">Snowdonia</span> Ale (3.6% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_200">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_201">Portmadog</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_202">Gwynedd</span>)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best Bitter category</span><br />
Gold- Timothy Taylor, Landlord (4.3% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_203">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_204">Keighley</span>, West Yorkshire)<br />
Silver- St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_205">Austell</span>, Tribute (4.2% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_206">ABV</span>, St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_207">Austell</span>, Cornwall)<br />
Joint Bronze- Evan Evans, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_208">Cwrw</span> (4.2% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_209">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_210">Llandeilo</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_211">Carmarthenshire</span>)<br />
Joint Bronze- Great Oakley, Gobble (4.5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_212">ABV</span>, Great Oakley, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_213">Northamptonshire</span>)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Golden Ale category</span><br />
Gold- Castle Rock, Harvest Pale (3.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_214">ABV</span>, Nottingham, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_215">Notts</span>)<br />
Silver- Marble, Manchester Bitter (4.2%, Manchester, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_216">Gtr</span> Manchester)<br />
Bronze- St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_217">Austell</span>, Proper Job (4.5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_218">ABV</span>, St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_219">Austell</span>, Cornwall)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Strong Bitter category</span><br />
Gold- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_220">Thornbridge</span>, Jaipur IPA (5.9% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_221">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_222">Bakewell</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_223">Derbyshire</span>)<br />
Silver- Fuller's, Gales <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_224">HSB</span> (4.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_225">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_226">Chiswick</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_227">Gtr</span> London)<br />
Bronze- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_228">Beckstones</span>, Rev Rob (4.6% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_229">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_230">Millom</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_231">Cumbria</span>)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Speciality Beer category</span><br />
Gold- Amber, Chocolate Orange Stout (4% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_232">ABV</span>, Ripley, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_233">Derbyshire</span>)<br />
Silver- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_234">O'Hanlon's</span>, Port Stout (4.8% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_235">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_236">Whimple</span>, Devon)<br />
Bronze- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_237">Breconshire</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_238">Ysbrid</span> y <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_239">Ddraig</span> (6.5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_240">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_241">Brecon</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_242">Powys</span>)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Winter Beer of Britain winner (announced in January 2010)</span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_243">Elland</span>, 1872 Porter (6.5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_244">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_245">Elland</span>, West Yorkshire)<br />
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Bottled Beer of Britain winners<br />
Gold- St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_246">Austell</span>, Admiral's Ale (5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_247">ABV</span>, St <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_248">Austell</span>, Cornwall)<br />
Silver- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_249">Pitfield</span>, 1850 London Porter (5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_250">ABV</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_251">Epping</span>, Essex)<br />
Bronze- Great Oakley, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_252">Delapre</span> Dark (4.6% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_253">ABV</span>, Great Oakley, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_254">Northamptonshire</span>)<br />
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<a href="http://www.saltairebrewery.co.uk/assets/images/Triple-Chocolate-Award_big.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.saltairebrewery.co.uk/assets/images/Triple-Chocolate-Award_big.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 306px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CHOCK-A-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_255">LOCKA</span>-DING-DONG!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">March 10: My favourite brewery of last year has won the Society of Independent Brewery's top award for 2010 for its fabulous Triple Chocoholic stout.</span><br />
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<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_256">Hoppy</span> beers seem to be the favourites at most award ceremonies, and some <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_257">Camra</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_258">fundamentalists</span> seem to look down on people who like dark beers, so it's great to see this stout win.<br />
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<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_259">Saltaire's</span> Hazelnut Coffee Porter is almost as good.<br />
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<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_260">Saltaire</span> scooped three awards in the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_261">SIBA</span> National Beer Competition 2010. Triple Chocoholic, a 4.8 per center, also won the Champion Speciality Beer category, while the brewery’s Cascade Pale Ale scooped the Champion Premium Bitters prize.<br />
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There were 1,400 beer <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_262">enterted</span> originally, whittled down to 63 finalists and 10 category winners. The Supreme Champion title was then selected from the eight draught winners.<br />
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Good to see Bank Top's excellent mild getting another award.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Full results</span><br />
Supreme Champion Beer 2010 Triple Chocoholic <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_263">Saltaire</span> Brewery, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_264">Shipley</span><br />
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Champion <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_265">Milds</span> (up to 4% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_266">ABV</span>) Dark Mild Bank Top Brewery, Bolton<br />
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Champion Bitters & Pale Ales (up to 4% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_267">ABV</span>) Lord <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_268">Marples</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_269">Thornbridge</span> Brewery, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_270">Derbyshire</span><br />
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Champion Best Bitters (4.1 – 4.5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_271">ABV</span>) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_272">Darwins</span> Origin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_273">Salopian</span> Brewing, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_274">Shrewsbury</span><br />
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Champion Premium Bitters (4.6 – 4.9%) Cascade Pale Ale Supreme<br />
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Speciality Beer <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_275">Saltaire</span> Brewery, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_276">Shipley</span><br />
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Champion Strong Bitters (5.1 – 5.5% <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_277">ABV</span>) Big Chief Bitter <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_278">Greenmill</span> Brewery, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_279">Rochdale</span><br />
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Champion Strong Ales (over 5.6%) Dorothy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_280">Goodbody</span>’s Country Ale Wye Valley Brewery<br />
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Champion Porters, Strong <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_281">Milds</span>, Old Ales & Stouts <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_282">Guerilla</span> Blue Monkey Brewery, DerbyshireChampion Speciality Beers Triple Chocoholic Saltaire Brewery, Shipley<br />
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Champion Bottled Beers Proper Job St Austell Brewery<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Ilkley Beer Festival winner:</span>Missed it for the first time this year but organisers say it was the most successful yet. Home win for beer of the festival for Ilkley Brewery's Mary Jane, a light 'un. Must be more organised about getting tickets next year!<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/2723332822_4f64af029a_o.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/2723332822_4f64af029a_o.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 345px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 580px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">MAKE AN EXHIBITION OF YOURSELF - DEWSBURY BEER FESTIVAL IS BACK</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">March 10: If you look carefully at my photo of the fabulous West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury, you'll see a poster of the second Kirklees Camra 'beer exhibition' at Batley Town Hall.</span><br />
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Well it's back - the 2010 Dewsbury & Heavy Woollen: Real Ale, Food & Music Festival - to give the 'exhibition' its full title. It marks the 35th anniversary of the first exhibition in Dewsbury and is organised by the Heavy Woollen Camra branch and backed by local businesses.<br />
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It's at Dewsbury town hall, from May 20-22, and features 70 different real ales from Yorkshire, 10 ciders, nine 'turns', loads of food and Girl Guides beer tasting. Sorry I misread that - it's a GIRL'S GUIDE to beer tasting (phew, I had images of wobbly, bearded men in 'zany' fancy dress).Tickets available soon, see <a href="http://www.dewsburybeerfestival.co.uk/">here</a>.<br />
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<a href="http://www.eandsbrewery.co.uk/images/1872%20Porter.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.eandsbrewery.co.uk/images/1872%20Porter.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 226px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 137px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">GREAT WIN FOR ELLAND</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 10: The excellent 1872 Porter from the Elland Brewery, in Elland, has been crowned the Supreme Champion Winter Beer of Britain at the National Winter Ales Festival in Manchester.</span><br />
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The 6.5% abv porter, made from a Victorian recipe, is described by Camra as a 'creamy, full-flavoured porter, with rich liquorice flavours with a hint of chocolate from roast malt.'Silver went to Breconshire's Ramblers Ruin, whilst the bronze medal went to Acorn's Gorlovka Imperial Stout. Good to see Leeds Midnight Bell getting a silver in the mild category.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">FULL RESULTS:</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Old Ales and Strong Milds category:</span><br />
Gold- Breconshire, Ramblers Ruin (Brecon, Powys)<br />
Silver- Leeds, Midnight Bell (Leeds, West Yorkshire)<br />
Bronze- Beartown, Black Bear (Congleton, Cheshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Porters category</span><br />
Gold- Elland, 1872 Porter (Elland, West Yorkshire)<br />
Silver- Sulwath, Black Galloway (Castle Douglas, Dumfries & Galloway)<br />
Bronze- RCH, Old Slug Porter (Weston-Super-Mare, Somerset)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Stouts category</span><br />
Gold- Acorn, Gorlovka Imperial Stout (Barnsley, South Yorkshire)<br />
Silver- Beowulf, Dragon Smoke Stout (Brownhills, Staffordshire)<br />
Bronze- Wapping, Stout (Liverpool, Merseyside)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Barley Wines category</span><br />
Gold- Robinsons, Old Tom (Stockport, Cheshire)<br />
Silver- Kinver, Over the Edge (Kinver, Staffordshire)<br />
Bronze- Otley, O8 (Pontypridd, Mid Glamorgan)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Overall</span><br />
Gold- Elland, 1872 Porter (Elland, West Yorkshire)<br />
Silver- Breconshire, Ramblers Ruin (Brecon, Powys)<br />
Bronze- Acorn, Gorlovka Imperial Stout (Barnsley, South Yorkshire)<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2539/4118847283_1b345f9994_m.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2539/4118847283_1b345f9994_m.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 240px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 180px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: 130%;">REVIEW OF THE YEAR</span> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 2010: Not just beer and pubs, also films, pies, cakes, loaves, cats and dogs.</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Beers of the year:</span><br />
A year ago, my pals Richard (King of Otley) and Skipton Quanters (names changed to protect the innocent) came up with a 'drink around England' competition. We all had to try a beer from every county, first one to do so wins.<br />
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Sadly my first venture in beer tickerdom didn't last long. I didn't want to be carrying a notepad and pen around - or whispering into a recorder as someone in The Grove in Hudds does ('Old Throgmore's Expendable, that's Old Throgmore's Expendable').<br />
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And I didn't wanting to be wasting my time and money on awful ales for the sake of ticking off another county.<br />
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Also, I don't want to sound like I've got a massive northern chip on shoulder (with gravy), but I'm tired of bitter, hoppy, flat beers, that taste almost medicinal, many of which seem to be made down south.I did manage to drink beers from nine English counties and one each from Wales and Scotland in January, the only month where I 'ticked off'.<br />
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Sussex was in fact second on my list of counties with four different beers. Perhaps it was the northern names that fooled me - <span style="font-weight: bold;">Hepworth Old Ale</span>, from Horsham, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Rother Valley Blues</span>, a porter from Rye - and these turned out to be some of my favourites of the year.<br />
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The Star Inn's festivals proved a good source of unusual beers and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cottage's Old Freckled Ken</span>, from Somerset, was another favourite - a smashing, caramelly beer.Also, here are my <a href="http://www.citylife.co.uk/pubs_and_bars/news/14920_beers_of_the_year_2009">Greater Manchester beers of the year</a>, published on the Manchester Evening News' City Life website<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best Brewery:</span>Talking of flavoured beers, they're difficult to do - either overwhelming the beer or barely registering. Raise a glass to Saltaire Brewery - their Triple Chocoholic and Hazelnut Coffee Porter were spot on.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best Bottled Beer:</span>Camra fundamentalists are insisting that bottle conditioned beers are the only 'proper bottled beers', but this often means good brewers are making gravelly homebrews which taste like they've been mixed in a bath. So thank goodness for <span style="font-weight: bold;">Co-operative Strong Brown Beer</span>. It's sweet and tasty.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pubs (home):</span>The usual suspects - both <span style="font-weight: bold;">Groves, Rat and Ratchet, King's Head, Star, Three Pigeons, The Sair, and Guest House</span> (see Best Pubs) plus <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Sportsman</span>, a great addition to the Huddersfield circuit. Cracking refurbishment, great selection of Yorkshire beers and friendly staff. Why can't the so-called expert pub companies do this, instead of propping up a series of shabby, muttonhead pubs elsewhere in the town?<br />
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I should also mention the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Tunnel End Inn</span>, in Marsden, a textbook example of how a friendly and innovative landlord and landlady can keep an out-of-the-way pub busy - good beer, hearty food and special events.<br />
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<a href="http://www.sixbellsbrewery.co.uk/assets/images/design/welcome_from_nev_and_sue_160.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.sixbellsbrewery.co.uk/assets/images/design/welcome_from_nev_and_sue_160.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 116px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 160px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pubs (away):</span>Bishops Castle in Shropshire has two brew pubs at either end of the small town and plenty of quirky shops in between. It's also an unbelievably friendly place and myself and the lovely P got chatting to Big Nev, landlord of one of the pubs, <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Six Bells</span> while we were playing dominoes (I know how to show a woman a good time). He's not as fearsome as his portrait on the beer mats and the beer named after him is lovely.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Films:</span>Damned United, Frost Nixon, Slumdog Millionaire, The Wrestler, Star Trek<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Films I should have seen:</span>District 9, An Education, Up, Moon<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Gig:</span>Jeffrey Lewis, Hebden Bridge Trades Club<span style="font-weight: bold;">LP:</span>Madness, Liberty of Norton Folgate<a href="http://www.orchardpigs.co.uk/images/rob_pies3.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.orchardpigs.co.uk/images/rob_pies3.png" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; height: 136px; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; width: 227px;" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pie:</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Orchard Pigs' tractor wheel pork pies</span>. Made by a Raymond Blanc-trained chap near Wrexham and sold at Manchester Christmas Markets. Crisp but soft pastry, excellent quality meat from pigs bred on the firm's farm. No grease or gristle.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Cake:</span>I bought a lovely slice of chocolate cake at the Ludlow Food and Drink Festival from <span style="font-weight: bold;">Cake Creations</span> of Hereford. It was slightly awkward carrying a slice of cake in one hand and a pint of real ale in the other (I'm on a special diet) so I decided to have a nibble. Bad move - the combination of perfectly-proportioned moist sponge and filling was irresistible and I scoffed the lot.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Loaf:</span>The light and nutty brown loaf by <span style="font-weight: bold;">Barbakan</span> bakers, of Chorlton (sold in Katsouris deli in Manchester) has been a mainstay all year<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Cat:</span>Squeeky - laid-back ball of fluff from next door surveying the world from our recycling bin. Famous for her mewing.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dog:</span>Folly the cocker spaniel in the Star Inn already has a sad face and watery eyes, but she had to have a cone fitted over her head following a visit to the vets and looked even sadder. She even had a beer named after her (Folly's Dog Collar Blues, pictured) but now she's back on form.<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2505/4119607906_ac076b1f29_m.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2505/4119607906_ac076b1f29_m.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 240px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 180px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GOOD BEERS AND OLD FARTS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 09: "The same old faces, the same old beards, the same old flatulence," a Camra acquaintance said to a bearded me at another excellent Star Inn Beer Festival, in Lockwood, Huddersfield.</span><br />
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I never fart at beer festivals, not since an incident at the Wakefield Beer Festival a few years back.I was with a few pals when a terrible stench arose. My friend Rob pointed at me and everyone believed him, including strangers sitting nearby. Everyone blames the fat bloke.<br />
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During the rest of the beer festival, every fart in our vicinity was blamed on me. Then a few months later, a smirking Rob confessed he was the culprit. The swine!<br />
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Anyway back to the Star Fest. As I always say when I review the Star's dos, they have an amazing selection of beers.<br />
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Some pubs put 12 beers on and call it festival - The Star had 62 this time and I didn't have a bad one.I had a few lovely dark, chocolatey beers - Cheddar's Totty Pot, Lytham's Lytham Dark and Cottage's Old Freckled Ken. There was also a chance to try beers from recent award winners Ilkley (Grandmas' Pud, a porter) and Five Towns (Viva Cas Vegas, a tasty copper-coloured one).<br />
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Which pub has the best beer festivals? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind (and it's not me) - The Star.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yYSgeZTFWPI/SeHEYObzzZI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/0VYtLYKa8T8/s1600/nemesis.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yYSgeZTFWPI/SeHEYObzzZI/AAAAAAAAAQ4/0VYtLYKa8T8/s1600/nemesis.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 353px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 250px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">BEER FESTIVAL/SIBA WINNERS 2009</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 09: Wakefield Camra have kindly released the top 10 most popular beers at their recent festival and I've decided to track down a few other winners of branch festivals this year.</span><br />
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It's always interesting to find out if your favourites match up with everyone else's, but while branches are very good at pre-publicity for their beer festivals, it's often a bugger to find out who's won.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">YORK</span>Saltaire Triple Chocoholic (does anyone do flavoured beers better? I don't think so - chocolatey without being sickly or too heavy)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">WAKEFIELD</span>1 Five Towns Niamh's Nemesis2 Thornbridge Jaipur3 Mallinsons Stainborough Castle4 Bob's Chardonnayle5 East Coast Bonhomme Richard/Iceni Fine Soft Day7 Five Towns Ponte Carlo8 Fat Cat (Norwich, Norfolk) Bitter/Nottingham Rock Ale10 Mallinsons Emley Moor Mild/Potbelly Captain Pigwash/Sarah Hughes Dark Ruby Mild/Elland DiabloFunnily enough I've had all the 10th placed ones - all good ones, plus Jaipur (one of the most popular beers at festivals) and Chardonnayle.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SKIPTON</span>Dunham Massey's Chocolate Cherry MildAnother hit at festivals, but one that will never pass my lips after a liqueur incident as a child.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SHEFFIELD</span>1 Thornbridge Gold2 Bollington White Nancy/Brew Company St Petrus StoutThornbridge also won the bitter and strong bitter categories. Leeds Midnight Bell won best porter, Bollington Nights won best mild.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">OLDHAM</span>1 Millstone Ye Olde Vic2 Phoenix Black Bee3 Green Mill Big Chief<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">MANCHESTER FOOD AND DRINK FESTIVAL</span>Judges: Marble Dobber<br />
Public: Outstanding Stout<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">LEEDS</span>Boggart Hole Clough's Dark Rum Porter (a good 'un)Best Mild: Sarah Hughes Dark Ruby<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">HUDDERSFIELD</span>Overall (and best bitter): Mallinsons Scarlet Pimpernel<br />
Mild: Brass Monkey Tamarin Mild<br />
Strong Ale: Fullers 1845<br />
Porter: Golcar's Guthlacs Porter<br />
Stout: Mallinsons Oatmeal Stout<br />
Speciality Beer: Marble Ginger<br />
Can't fault any of these choices<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">CHESHIRE BEER OF THE YEAR</span>Bollington Brewery Best Bitter<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">BRADFORD</span>Champion beer: East Coast SSBMild: Bridestone’s Pennine Dark Mild.3.5-4%ABV: East Coast SSB.4.1-4.5%: Naylor’s Star Anise.4.6-5%: Saltaire Texas Brown.5%: Thornbridge Kapito.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SOCIETY OF INDEPENDENT BREWERS NORTH OF ENGLAND WINNERS </span>(to compete in 2010 national finals)Bitter/Pale Ale: Ilkley Brewing Company's Mary Jane<br />
Strong Ale: Acorn Conquest<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BEER FESTIVAL IN SIKH LEISURE CENTRE</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 09: What do a masonic lodge, an Irish club and a Sikh leisure centre have in common? They have been - or will be - venues for the Huddersfield Beer Festival.</span><br />
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This year the festival moves to the Sikh Leisure Centre, on the edge of the town centre, almost midway between The Grove and The Rat.<br />
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The festival has become a victim of its own success. It has outgrown its former home, St Patricks, which has become a bit cramped in the past two years.<br />
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Let's hope the festival doesn't lose its atmosphere in a bigger, less pubby venue.And let's hope well-oiled punters don't get mown down on the ring road trying to get to the Rat.<br />
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Around 80 different real ales will be on sale, many from local breweries. There's also a cider bar featuring 10 ciders and perries.<br />
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Opening times: Thurs October 1 6pm-10.30pm; Fri October 2 noon-11pm; Sat October 3 11am-11pm.Entrance fee: £1 to CAMRA members; £3 non-membs. No advance tickets.<br />
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The centre itself is in Apna Ave, off Prospect St, HD1 2NXI'm putting in my usual stint behind the bar on the Saturday afternoon/early evening.<br />
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I'll be the fat one with glasses (sorry, that doesn't narrow it down much). If you fancy being a volunteer behind the bar, contact robert.tomlinson@cht.nhs.uk.<br />
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<a href="http://www.rudgate-beers.co.uk/images/logo_1.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.rudgate-beers.co.uk/images/logo_1.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 87px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 234px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">RUDGATE MILD IS BEST BEER IN BRITAIN</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 09: Congratulations to Rudgate brewery of York. Their Ruby Mild has been voted Best Beer in Britain at Camra's Great British Beer Festival.</span><br />
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It's a nice pint and it's great to see a mild win, but I have to say I don't hold much store in this competition, apart from the national publicity real ale gets.<br />
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Some past winners have been very disappointing. I think the winners depend on the judging panel on the day and Camra never make it clear who they are.<br />
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Rudgate beat 60 finalists in seven categories. The finalists themselves were whittled down from a year of testing by branch members and in regional competitions.Yet again (and I say this every year) the south of England dominates among category winners, runners-up, and bronze medallists - with 13 beers. The Midlands had five, north of England four and Scotland and Wales one each.<br />
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Are southern beers more lightier and hoppier and more to the judges' taste? Past winners tended to be these sort of beers.<br />
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This may be a wild generalisation, of course, because the winner this year is a mild and the runner-up, Oakham's Attila, a barley wine. Third overall was West Berkshire's Dr Hexters Healer - a beer with a 'citrus, orange and marmalade finish', according to the brewer (sounds dreadful, if I wanted fruit I'd have a smoothie).<br />
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The top three are all relatively strong too - Rudgate at 4.4 per cent, Attila 7.5 and Hexters 5.Here are the full results. Good to see Southport's Sandgrounder winning a category and Bank Top finishing second in the mild category - it's better than Rudgate I reckon.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Overall winners</span><br />
Champion Beer of Britain - Rudgate, Ruby Mild (York, North Yorkshire)<br />
Second - Oakham, Attila (Peterborough, Cambridgeshire)<br />
Third - West Berkshire, Dr Hexter's Healer (Thatcham, Berkshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mild category</span><br />
Gold - Rudgate, Ruby Mild (York, North Yorkshire)<br />
Silver - Bank Top, Dark Mild (Bolton, Lancashire)<br />
Bronze - Highland, Dark Munro (Birsay, Orkney)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bitter category</span><br />
Gold - Surrey Hills, Ranmore Ale (Guildford, Surrey)<br />
Silver - Butcombe, Bitter (Bristol, Avon)<br />
Joint Bronze - Humpty Dumpty, Little Sharpie (Reedham, Norfolk)<br />
Joint Bronze - Triple fff, Alton's Pride (Alton, Hampshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best Bitter category</span><br />
Gold - Southport, Golden Sands (Southport, Merseyside)<br />
Silver - Buntingford, Britannia (Royston, Hertfordshire)<br />
Joint Bronze - Evan Evans, Cwrw (Llandeilo, Carmarthenshire)<br />
Joint Bronze - Thornbridge, Lord Marples (Bakewell, Derbyshire)<br />
Joint Bronze - Vale, VPA (Brill, Buckinghamshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Golden Ale category</span><br />
Gold - Dark Star, American Pale Ale (Ansty, West Sussex)<br />
Joint Silver - Adnams, Explorer (Southwold, Suffolk)<br />
Joint Silver - St Austell, Proper Job (St Austell, Cornwall)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Strong Bitter category</span><br />
Gold - West Berkshire, Dr Hexter's Healer (Thatcham, Berkshire)<br />
Silver - Thornbridge, Kipling (Bakewell, Derbyshire)<br />
Bronze - Grain, Tamarind IPA (Harleston, Norfolk)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Speciality Beer category</span><br />
Gold - Nethergate, Umbel Magna (Pentlow, Essex)<br />
Silver - Wentworth, Bumble Beer (Wentworth, South Yorkshire)<br />
Bronze - Amber, Chocolate Orange Stout (Ripley, Derbyshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Winter Beer of Britain winner</span> (announced in January 2009)Oakham, Attila (Cambridgshire)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bottled Beer of Britain winners </span><br />
Gold - Titanic, Stout (Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire)<br />
Silver - Great Gable, Yewbarrow (Gosforth, Cumbria)<br />
Bronze - White Shield Brewery, White Shield (Coors, Burton-on-Trent)<br />
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Camra now has 100,000 members and there are 670 brewers in the UK, more than at any other time since the war.Let's hope the Tory twats who infest beer mags and blogs (it's all right to say twat - David 'Dave of the People' Cameron said it) remember that Gordon Brown helped to start the brewing boom by cutting tax to help micro-brewers, but no doubt we'll hear more whingeing about the government raising booze duty (like every government, especially in a recession) and the smoking ban (it was a free vote, blame MPs of all parties).<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SOCIETY OF INDEPENDENT BREWERS' BEERS OF THE YEAR 2009</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">April 09: Cairngorm's Black Gold has been crowned supreme champion out of 62 finalists in SIBA's National Beer Competition. Runner-up was Arundel's Sussex Mild, with Oakham's Bishop's Farewell and Castle Rock's Screech Owl joint third.</span><br />
Beers were divided into nine categories with seven regional winners in each.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">National category winners: </span><br />
Mild: Arundel's Sussex Mild<br />
Bitter and Pale Ale (up to 4.0%): Yeovil's Star Gazer<br />
Best Bitter (4.1-4.5%): Purity's Mad Goose<br />
Premium (4.6–4.9%): Oakham's Bishop's Farewell<br />
Strong Bitter (5.1-5.5%): Castle Rock's Screech Owl (Ossett's magnificent Excelsior was runner-up)<br />
Strong Ale (over 5.6%): Highland's Orkney Blast<br />
Champion Porters, Strong Milds, Old Ales & Stouts: Cairngorm's Black Gold<br />
Speciality Beers: Dark Star's Espresso (Saltaire's fabulous Hazelnut Coffee Porter was second)<br />
Bottled Beer: Oakleaf's Hole Hearted<br />
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<b>Northern results:</b>Champion: Southport Brewery's Golden Sands<br />
2 Prospect Brewery's Nutty Slack<br />
3 Millstone Brewery's True Grit<br />
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Mild: Prospect's Nutty Slack<br />
2 Bank Top Brewery's Dark Mild<br />
3 Moorhouses Brewery's Black Cat<br />
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Porters, Strong Milds, Old Ales and Stouts: Lancaster Brewery's Lancaster Black<br />
2 Bowland Beer Company's Black Dragon Porter<br />
3 Rudgate Brewery's Ruby Mild<br />
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Bitters and Pale Ales: Southport Brewery's Golden Sands<br />
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Best Bitters: Kelham Island Brewery's Easy Rider<br />
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Premium Bitters: Millstone Brewery's True Grit<br />
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Strong Bitters: Ossett's Excelsior<br />
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Speciality: Saltaire Brewery's Hazlenut Coffee Porter<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">MY TICKER SHAME!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 09: Yes, I've started jotting down which beers I've drunk - but my friends 'forced' me to it!</span><br />
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King Richard of Otley and Raiders of Skipton came up with this 'drink around Britain' scheme shortly before Christmas. The idea is that we try and drink a beer from every county this year. We also choose our favourites every month.I tend to drink beers which are dark and from the north of England.<br />
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Owing to time and money constraints I didn't alter my drinking habits in January - I've been disappointed too many times by 'award-winning beers' from down south which are too hoppy and bitter for me.<br />
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Also, I've always been averse to ticking - trying beers just to add them to a list rather than for their quality. It means many brewers produce rafts of beers to satisfy the tickers and the good beers get lost because of the huge numbers produced.<br />
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Having said all that I did manage to drink beers from nine English counties and one each from Wales and Scotland in January, mainly in the King's Head, Grove and Rat and Ratchet in Huddersfield.<br />
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Yorkshire dominated with 11 different beers including old favourites Ossett Excelsior, Saltaire Hazelnut Coffee Porter and Riverhead Sparth Mild. I also wanted to try beers from new breweries Summer Wine from Holmfirth and Brass Monkey from Sowerby Bridge, plus there were two new 'uns from Mallinsons of Lindley available.<br />
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Surprisingly, Sussex was second on my list of counties with four different beers. Perhaps it was the northern names that fooled me - Hepworth Old Ale from Horsham and Rother Valley Blues from Rye were among the ones I tried and they were my two favourites in January. Rother Valley Blues was a porter, I think (listen I'm not writing a flaming essay in a pub on a busy Friday!)<br />
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To see all three Real Ale Twat strips in readable versions, go here <br />
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<li><a href="http://ericolthwaite.blogspot.com/2007/01/comedy.html">Real Ale Twats</a></li>
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ILKLEY BEER FESTIVAL 2: THE PIES</span><br />
Feb 09: Another lovely afternoon in Ilkley for the second beer festival in the town. Good selection of ales in good form. My favourites were Dent Aviator and Hesket's Doris's 90th birthday (butterscotchy - the beer not Doris, although she's probably grappled with a Werther's in her time).<br />
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Hesket are from Newmarket in Cumbria - a new 'un for me. Plenty of staff on as per last year and as it's a Round Table event some of the servers look slightly startled to be part of the service economy!<br />
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As for the pies I didn't try 'em, although I'm familiar with Lishman's work. But who does their PR? Do we really want to know that much about the black puddings?<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">WINTER BEER FESTIVAL RESULTS 2009</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 09: A barley wine is this year's winner of the National Winter Ales Festival in Manchester. It's Oakham's Attila, a 7.5 per center. I was on the panel for the old ales and strong milds category and our favourite, Sarah Hughes's Dark Mild, finished third overall with Elland Brewery's excellent 1872 Porter the overall runner-up.</span><br />
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Being a judge is an intriguing experience and made me realise my sense of smell isn't up too much. While my fellow panellists - two Camra execs and two brewery chaps from Marble and Isle of Arran - were extolling fruity notes, coffee and smoke, I barely got a whiff of caramel.<br />
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We tried seven beers, only knowing they were either ales or milds. Most of us agreed the Sarah Hughes was one of the best, although the last one I tried, an old ale, was my equal favourite with the Sarah Hughes. Unfortunately I couldn't find out what this was.<br />
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Stouts and porters were being tried elsewhere in the judging room and our winner and their winners went forward to a final tasting panel, along with Oakham's which had already won a barley wine competition at the Dudley festival in November.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BEERS OF THE YEAR 2008</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 08: Here's a list I made for the City Life website so it's a bit Manc biased but I think it's a fair reflection of local award winners and a few of my own favourites. My personal favourites would be Ossett Excelsior, any Acorn beers, Empire's Pandemonium Vanilla Porter, Saltaire's Coffee Porter, Mallinsons' Wild Card, Linfit Old Eli/Special and Marble Ginger.<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Allgates Hung Drawn and Portered </span>A lovely, rich porter from Wigan. This was my favourite at the City Life Food and Drink Festival’s Greater Manchester Beer of the Year.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bank Top Pavilion Pale Ale</span> The Bolton brewery won the people’s pint award at the City Life Manchester Food and Drink Festival. A pale 4.5 per center.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dunham Massey Chocolate Cherry Mild</span> Winner of the Bury, Huddersfield and Chelmsford Beer Festivals. I’m afraid I haven’t tried this one as it brings back memories of a chocolate liqueur incident in my youth, but I’ve heard good reports.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hornbeam Dark Domination </span>The Denton brewery triumphed with this one at the Leeds Beer Festival. It’s a chocolatey 6 per center with dominatrixes on the beerclips. Hornbeam’s Malt Mountain Mild was champion beer at Rugby’s festival.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Linfit </span>The only place to try this brewery’s beers is at a former national CAMRA pub of the year, The Sair Inn, in Linthwaite, near Huddersfield. There were fears for the brewery's future earlier this year, but a new brewer has ensured the quality of tasty malty beers, such as Old Eli and Special, are back and as good as ever. Northern Rail are introducing an hourly service from Victoria to Slaithwaite, 20 minutes’ walk from the pub, on Sundays from December 14, if you fancy an outing.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Marble Ginger </span>The only beer I’ve tasted which tingles on the lips. A light, pale beer full of flavour, it’s ‘gingier’ than Liverpool supersub David Fairclough in a carrot-top love-in with Tori Amos. One of my all time favourites (the beer, not Tori).<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Phoenix Wobbly Bob</span> An old reliable which won the Macclesfield Beer Festival this year. A 6 per center that’s sweetish and without the chemical aftertaste of some strong beers . The Heywood brewery’s Spotland Gold was runner-up in the Greater Manchester Beer of the Year.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pictish Alchemists Ale</span> Winner of the Greater Manchester Beer of the Year. Hoppy, fruity and bitter. Made in Rochdale.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Robinsons Old Tom</span> The strongest of the lot in this selection at 8.5 per cent. Runner-up at the National Winter Ales Festival in Manchester. A smoky and, some say, spicy brew just right for cold nights.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Thornbridge Jaipur IPA</span> The brewery’s based near Bakewell, but this hoppy beer is a big hit round these parts. Winner at the Oldham Beer Festival and runner-up at Wigan’s Festival, it’s a deceptively strong 5.9 per center.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">YORK BREWERY TAKEOVER</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 08: Mitchell's of Lancaster has bought one of my favourite breweries, York.</span>York was looking for new investors earlier this year so let's hope it won't be one of those takeovers that ends in tears like so many Greene King ones.<br />
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Mitchell's will also buy York pubs and the name will continue. No-one will be laid off and Mitchell's hopes to open new pubs, possibly in Leeds, Ilkley and Harrogate.<br />
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<a href="http://www.drinkmallinsons.co.uk/images/fawkes.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.drinkmallinsons.co.uk/images/fawkes.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">MALLINSONS GETS REGULAR</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 08: Huddersfield brewery Mallinsons has produced its first regular beer, Stadium, and has also unveiled two new specials meaning they've now made 18 different beers since they started brewing six months ago.</span><br />
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I haven't managed to try them all, unfortunately, and many of them have sold out, but I've yet to have a bad one. Personally I would prefer a few more regulars than specials because if you try a really a good one it's always sad to find out you'll never drink it again.<br />
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But it'a great achievement for a new brewer to produce this number of beers in such a short time and to get them in several pubs and at festivals.Stadium (3.8%) is described as straw coloured with a clean bitter taste and dry fruity finish.Three more regulars are promised, including a mild.<br />
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The new specials are Sugarloaf and Fawkes, two light beers. The other specials have either sold out or are limited editions.Mallinsons beers can be found in Huddersfield at The Star, The Grove, The Rat, Kings Head, Green Cross, Lindley Liberal club, The Swan (Crimble) and The Crimea.Kelham Island and Fat Cat are stocking them in Sheffield and the Crown and Kettle and Smithfield in Manchester.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GREATER MANCHESTER BEER OF THE YEAR</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 08: I got my first chance to be a judge at a beer festival but unfortunately the winner - Pictish's Alchemist from Rochdale - was probably my least favourite.</span>It was one of those light beers with a sharp aftertaste that I hate. My own favourite was Allgates Drawn and Quartered, from Wigan, a rich sweet porter.<br />
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But there's the rub with judging beer - however objective you're going to be it's very difficult to choose a light bitter beer from a dark sweet one if you prefer the latter.The judges were divided into two groups who tried a total of 18 beers - nine different ones in each group, with two dark ones in each. We weren't told what they were until after the judging.<br />
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The top 12 then went forward to a different judging panel, again divided into two groups, who included Manchester's council leader Richard Leese and eat-all-of-a-pig speccy chef Fergus Henderson.<br />
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Phoenix's Spotland Gold was second and Greenfield Black Five third overall.The event was part of the City Life Manchester Food and Drink Festival which also included a two-day beer festival starring Greater Manchester breweries. Punters voted Bank Top's Pavilion Pale Ale as the winner.<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/2699923338_578c532c95.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/2699923338_578c532c95.jpg?v=0" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">A BETTER CLASS OF GRAFFITI AT THE STAR</span><br />
<b>July 08:</b> Someone was scrawling this in the Gents during the Star summer festival, in Huddersfield. You get a better class of graffiti and a better class of beer festival at The Star -Hudds Mild pub of the year.<br />
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Once again, a choice of more than 70 beers, putting many town beer festivals to shame, and some real corkers. Coach House did a special to commemorate the pub cat's imminent motherhood (Tizzi's Tiddlers) with a beer which was like drinking a Quality Street penny toffee.<br />
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Other highlights for me were Allgates Pussy Galore which was described as slightly spiced but was very smooth to me and Great Heck's Dave "dark and very enjoyable" Spot-on description. As for the grafitti, does crack refer to light through the lavvy window, Leonard Cohen's real ale period, or arses?<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CAINS INTO ADMINISTRATION - NOOOOOOH!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 08: Bugger! A real ale success story, Cains of Liverpool, has gone into administration.</span><br />
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Things have looked ominous in the past couple of weeks with the taxman threatening a winding-up order, then the banks refusing to bail them out. Cains has fantastic beers, some fantastic pubs (100 of them), 1,000 staff, and has become a Liverpool stalwart.Sudarghara Dusanj took over the running of the company with his brother Ajmail in July 2002 and did a great job but maybe they overreached themselves by buying 92 pubs from Honeycombe in May 2007.<br />
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A bank loaned 'em most of the money - shame it can't spends relatively small change to bail out a successful company that happens to be bucking the trend and doing something different (a good English lager, raisin beer)Sudarghara is talking about the company in the past tense but the adminstrators say they've already had interest.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">GREAT BRITISH BEER FESTIVAL WINNERS 2008</span></b><br />
<b>Aug 08: The north of England took six of the 20 medals up for grabs at this year's Great British Beer Festival.</b><br />
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Beckstones' Black Dog Freddy (Cumbria) won the mild gold, Rudgate's Ruby Mild (York) took silver. Lees Bitter (Manchester) won silver in the bitter category, Jarrow's Rivet Catcher (Tyne & Wear) getting a joint bronze.<br />
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Timothy Taylor's Landlord (West Yorkshire) took joint bronze in the best bitter and Wentworth's Bumble Beer (South Yorkshire) won silver in the speciality beer category.There were 60 finalists in six categories, with gold, silver and bronze for each category, plus the Winter Beer Winner announced in Manchester in January.<br />
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I've just included the medals won this month.<br />
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Alton's Pride brewed by Triple fff Brewery in Hampshire has been judged the best overall by the panel of brewers, beer writers and journalists.<br />
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The overall silver went to Black Dog Freddy from Beckstones (Cumbria).<br />
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Bronze went to CAMRA's current National Winter Beer of Britain winner Station Porter from the Wickar Brewery (Gloucestershire).CAMRA's Good Beer Guide describes Alton's Pride as, “clean-tasting, golden brown beer, full-bodied for its strength with an aroma of floral hops. An initial malty flavour fades as citrus notes and hoppiness take over, leading to a hoppy, bitter finish.” Never heard of it, I'm afraid, in fact I don't think I've ever been to Hampshire!<br />
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Full results:<b>Mild Category </b><br />
Gold - Beckstones, Black Dog Freddy (Cumbria)<br />
Silver - Rudgate, Ruby Mild (York)<br />
Bronze - Rhymney, Dark (Merthyr Tydfil)<br />
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<b>Bitter Category </b><br />
Gold - Triple fff, Alton's Pride (Hampshire)<br />
Silver - Lees, Bitter (Manchester)<br />
Joint Bronze - Jarrow, Rivet Catcher (Tyne & Wear) and Surrey Hills, Ranmore Ale (Surrey)<br />
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<b>Best Bitter Category</b><br />
Gold - Skinner's, Betty Stogs (Cornwall)<br />
Silver - Highland, Scapa Special (Orkney)Bronze - Cairngorm, Nessies Monster Mash (Highlands) and Timothy Taylor, Landlord (West Yorkshire)<br />
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<b>Strong Bitter Category </b><br />
Gold - Thornbridge, Jaipur IPA (Derbyshire)<br />
Silver - Fuller's, ESB (London)<br />
Bronze - Highland, Orkney Blast (Orkney)<br />
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<b>Golden Ale Category</b><br />
Gold - Otley, O1 (Mid Glamorgan)<br />
Silver - Loddon, Ferryman's Gold (Oxfordshire)<br />
Bronze - Skinner's, Cornish Knocker Ale (Cornwall)<br />
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<b>Speciality Beer Category </b><br />
Gold - Otley, OGarden (Mid Glamorgan)<br />
Silver - Wentworth, Bumble Beer (South Yorkshire)<br />
Bronze - Nethergate, Umbel Magna (Essex)<br />
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<b>Winter Beer of Britain Winner (announced in Jan 2008)</b><br />
Gold - Wickwar, Station Porter<br />
Silver - Robinson's Old Tom (Manchester)<br />
Bronze - Hop Back Entire Stout.<br />
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I'm surprised Lees and Landlord figure so highly, but I'm a fan of Otley and Skinner breweries, the mild one and two, and the fabulous Fuller's ESB.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SAIR IT IS ISN'T SO - NO LINFIT BUT SOME MALLINSONS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">July 08: The brewer at the best pub in the world - The Sair Inn in Linthwaite - has departed so there's no Linfit beer at the moment. Hudds Camra reckons a former employee may return to help boss Ron or he could train someone up. </span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
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Aug 08: Old Eli and Special back on, hurrah! (See Best Pubs for more about The Sair).</span><br />
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Meanwhile Huddersfield's newest brewer is former primary school teacher Tara Mallinson, brewer of...Mallinsons, a great name for a brewer it has to be said, reminds me of a butcher's shop or an ironmonger's.<br />
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She's based in Lindley and is brewing a few specials before branching out with bottles and four regulars.<br />
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Wild Card, one of the specials, brewed in time for Wimbledon, is a nice malty brown bitter.Look out for the forthcoming El Capitan at 4.8 which is pale and lightly hoppy and bitter. Plus Cruel Summer 4.2 also pale, but with a bit more hop bite in the taste.<br />
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Mallinsons beers are on sale at The Star, Lockwood, The Grove, The Rat and Kings Head, all in Hudds, and Fat Cat and Kelham Island in Sheffield, among others. Good luck Tara!<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3169/2640135274_5e9d6f66ce.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3169/2640135274_5e9d6f66ce.jpg?v=0" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">HEY-HEY IT'S THE MONKEY CLUB</span><br />
<b>July 08:</b> Paid my first visit to the Monkey Club, in Armitage Bridge (Huddersfield Camra's Club of the Year 2008) for Monkeyfest, a splendid beer festival.<br />
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Clouds loomed on the Saturday but the rain held off in the afternoon and it was very pleasant sitting in the open surrounded by cottages and trees.Two local beers stood out for me - Mallinsons' Lindley Loc-Ale (toffeeish) and Empire's Chapman Three Stars (a lightish brew celebrating ex-Town and Arsenal boss Herbert Chapman).<br />
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It's called the Monkey Club because a sailor used to bring his monkey in here (mmm...that well-known port of Huddersfield)<br />
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/audiointerviews/images/portraits/stanshallv/l_stanshallv.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcfour/audiointerviews/images/portraits/stanshallv/l_stanshallv.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">VIVIAN STANSHALL ADVERTISES RUDDLES</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">June 08: Hurrah! A TV advert extolling real ale - but the late great Bonzo Dog man is at his most bonkers here.</span><br />
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You can imagine the ad firm showing it to Ruddles execs for the first time, followed by deathly silence and the sound of gentle sobbing from the bloke who had the idea for employing Viv as he contemplates his P45.<br />
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It has Dawn French in drag, creepy flying teeth and this verse:Malcolm the Porcupine went to see<br />
If a moon of green cheese would float<br />
He exhaled a spray of 'will you go away'<br />
To the land where the hoppity oats<br />
He brewed humpty of Ruddles<br />
Which he dumpty in puddlesAnd licked up whenever it snowed<br />
In final conclusion, twas only illusion,Malcolm Porcupine said 'I'LL BE BLOWED'<br />
Thanks to Richard, King of Otley for this (via YouTube of course).<br />
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<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MpUGERFIeY&feature=related">Ruddles ad</a></li>
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And of course the good old t'inters has a rather wonderful article about the ad by Jonathan Street on the excellent vivarchive site<br />
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<li><a href="http://www.vivarchive.org.uk/articles/articleruddles.htm">Ruddles ad article</a></li>
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Viv also did more conventional ads for creme eggs and Toshiba.<br />
Pic: BBC<br />
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<a href="http://www.leedsbrewery.co.uk/web/images/lb_logo.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.leedsbrewery.co.uk/web/images/lb_logo.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEEDS (BREWERY)</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">June 08: At last! Something from Leeds that lives up the hype - Leeds Brewery, which celebrated its first birthday on the same day as my birthday (I'm 807 in dog years).</span><br />
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There was a buzz about the brewery for months before it opened, because of its location in the new-look Holbeck, and because it was a new brewery in the city.It has lived up to expectations. Some breweries have concentrated on fancy signs and good distribution deals, but have forgotten that good-tasting beers are always the foundation (Hello Copper Dragon), while others produce a different beer a week with daft names which they are forgettable because there are so many.<br />
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Leeds Brewery stuck to basics - a bitter (Best), a mild (Midnight Bell) and a pale ale with a handful of seasonal beers and specials.<br />
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All are superb - the mild chocolatey, the bitter hoppy and thirst-quenching, and the pale without that chemically taste that blights so many light beers.<br />
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The company owners are two York University graduates in their mid twenties, who served their time with York Brewery, and another fella in his twenties who did a masters degree in brewing.<br />
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They opened their first pub last month - The Midnight Bell, next to the Cross Keys in Holbeck and very similar in style - exposed brick, light, comfortable with modern furnishings. Not really my sort of place but if it encourages people to try real ale for the first time it's got to be good.Happy Birthday Leeds!<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2156/2483164783_3ab6b008e8.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2156/2483164783_3ab6b008e8.jpg?v=0" style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">TIME PLEASE!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">May 08:</span> There's only 55 beers left, the woman at the door of the Halifax Beer Festival said with a wry smile. Small, but perfectly formed (the festival, not the woman that is), Halifax is one of my favourites, thanks in part to the attractively distressed venue The Square Chapel.<br />
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I was attractively distressed after quaffing a few halfs of Elland, Beartown and other favourites on a glorious sunny day.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">YORKSHIRE GREATS JOIN FORCES</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 08: Two of my favourite brewers - Elland and Mitchell/Eastwood - are joining forces.</span><br />
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The brewers describe it as a 'partnership' and an 'amalgamation' on Elland's website although there's no word if there's going to be a new name for the breweries.<br />
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Elland's head brewer David Sanders said “Teaming up with Gary Mitchell (head brewer at Mitchell and Eastwood) will not only allow us to share our brewing experience but, more importantly, it will allow Gary and I to create some exciting new brews.<br />
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Elland director Martin Ogley added: "Given the recent increased costs of malt, water, fuel, energy and, in particular a trebling in the price of hops due to a worldwide shortage, it makes sound commercial sense to amalgamate two award-winning breweries under one roof."<br />
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Gary, whose brewery is based next to the Barge & Barrel Public House in Elland, said “I am extremely pleased to be joining forces with David Sanders at the Elland Brewery. The more modern and larger brew plant offers me the opportunity to expand my current range of beers alongside the existing Elland Brewery beers and hopefully we will be able to offer all our existing customers an even greater choice of cask conditioned ales.”<br />
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The brewers will be combining their talents first off for Elland's 100th brew. I'm a big fan of Elland's dark strong beers in particular and I'm looking forward to their new brews. It's good to hear they'll both survive, however Elland does seem to have a history tangled up with Eastwood.<br />
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If I've got his right - Elland was formerly known as Eastwood and Sanders and is now joining forces with Mitchell and Eastwood. Legendary brewer John Eastwood used to be involved in both breweries, I believe, but it's a bit like the People's Front of Judea and the Popular Front!<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2207/2254999070_e708dbb348.jpg?v=0" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2207/2254999070_e708dbb348.jpg?v=0" style="cursor: pointer; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>ILKLEY BEER FESTIVAL</b></span><b>Feb 08: I'd forgotten just how posh Ilkley is. Yummy mummies with 4x4 prams, disapproving pensioners with immaculate swirls of white hair, trendy-specced baldies in rugger shirts with their over-tanned wives, and Prince Harry a-likes with their three-quarter length shorts and flip-flops. </b><br />
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The latter stuck out like a sore thumb at the first ever Ilkley Beer Festival at the Kings Hall. Shorts and flip-flops. In Yorkshire. In February. The word 'Twat' was never too far away when they passed myself, the lovely P and King Richard of Otley at the festival.<br />
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As I've said elsewhere, the venue often makes a festival - Square Chapel, Halifax and Victoria Hall, Saltaire - and the Kings Hall is a grand venue.<br />
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You can imagine The Good Old Days being staged here with its lovely balconies and alcoves. It instantly puts a smile on your face.You can tell there's a bit of money about the festival with its huge sponsor banner and the beer tokens - not the usual raffle tickets but beautifully designed and made of cardboard (Cardboard, fancy!).<br />
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There were also loads of volunteer staff, so many you couldn't see the beers.The beer selection was excellent with some of my absolute favourite brewers - Acorn, Anglo Dutch, Dent, Elland, Leeds, Marble, Ossett and a rare chance to drink draught Fraoch Heather Ale.<br />
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A newie for me was Stewart Edinburgh No 3 - a reminder of the glorious dark and malty McEwans 50 Shillings.<br />
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As usual at beer festivals, the lack of sparklers meant the flat beers weren't as tasty as they would be in pubs, but the beer was in good order.<br />
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A brass band came on just as the booze was kicking in - ideal woozy music for getting drunk by, although the ra-ras in the audience didn't show enough appreciation for my liking.More than 8,000 pints were sold and £15,000 raised for young people's sports facilities. The Round Table organisers are doing it again next year. I'll be there old bean!Pic: My Flickr site<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">OH WICKWAR PORTER!</span></b><br />
<b>Jan 08: A 6.1% porter is this year's Supreme Champion Winter Beer of Britain.</b><br />
Wickwar Station Porter is described in CAMRA's 2008 Good Beer Guide as “A rich, smooth, dark ruby-brown ale. Starts with a roast malt; coffee, chocolate and dark fruit then develops a complex, spicy, bittersweet taste and a long roast finish.”<br />
The Silver award went to Robinson's Old Tom and the Bronze to Hop Back Entire Stout.I haven't heard of Wickwar but my Gloucestershire snout Mr Quanters is a fan of their Bob beer. <br />
Good to see Elland and Acorn in the Porter runners-up spots.I had a brief visit to the festival yesterday (Jan 18). Wickwar wasn't on but I had a quick slurp of Otley (a Welsh brewer), St Peter's Porter and some Pws Moose (the Welsh brewery Purple Moose, not dark Side of the Moose unfortunately).<br />
Category winners:<br />
Old Ales & Strong Mild Category<br />
Gold - Purple Moose, Dark Side of the Moose (Porthmadog, Gwynedd)Silver - West Berkshire, Maggs Magnificent Mild (Thatcham, Berkshire)Bronze - Highland, Dark Munro (Birsay, Orkney)<br />
Stouts<br />
Gold - Hop Back, Entire Stout (Salisbury, Berkshire)Silver - Spitting Feathers Old Wavertonian (Waverton, Chester)Bronze - Spire, Sgt. Pepper Stout (Chesterfield, Derbyshire)<br />
Porters<br />
Gold - Wickwar, Station Porter (Wickwar, Gloucestershire)Silver - E&S Elland, 1872 Porter (Elland, West Yorkshire)Bronze - Acorn, Old Moor Porter (Barnsley, South Yorkshire)<br />
Barley Wines<br />
Gold - Robinson's Old Tom (Stockport, Cheshire)Silver - Durham, Benedictus (Bowburn, Co Durham)Bronze - Mighty Oak, Saxon Song (Maldon, Essex)<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2307/2083764886_1eec6072fc.jpg?v=0" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2307/2083764886_1eec6072fc.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">ALEING AND DOWNING 2: MORE 2007 REAL ALE EXCURSIONS</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">After Halifax, Haworth and Huddersfield in the first half of the year, I've been a bit more adventurous in the second half - sampling ales in Sweden (pictured from Flickr site), trying Britain's strongest ale, watching goth morris dancers at a Horsforth pub, listening to filthy karaoke in Southport, filling up with Fuller's at a special promotion night, getting Christmassy in Skipton, getting grim up north in Sowerby Bridge and going on the Keighley and Worth Valley train (again) for a fantastic beer festival in Oxenhope.</span><br />
Northern Europeans may have a reputation of being beer-quaffing drunks but in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sweden</span> they are desperately trying to limit what their citizens drink by only allowing stronger beers to be sold in a limited number of places. <br />
So in the local supermarkets it's nearly all watery 2-3% lagers, although I did see one solitary Bishop's Finger (by Shepherd's Neame, always worth a double entendre) looking forlorn on the shelves.<br />
Imagine my delight when our hosts arranged a beer tasting session with some darker stronger bottles of ales which the Swedes drink in the run-up to Christmas. There were porters and winter ales with chocolately and stouty tastes such as Oppigards Winter Ale and Nynashamns Mysingen. Falcons Jamma had madeira (dessert wine) in it and tasted like Christmas pudding.That was in cold and wet December. <br />
In July the weather wasn't much better at a beer and bands festival at the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Abbey Inn, Horsforth</span>. A surprisingly (for Leeds) rural pub near the rail line to Shipley. The music wasn't great (bland folk) but the beer was - mainly Old Bear, the Keighley brewery which has come on leaps and bounds since it started and has helped the inn get into the Good Beer Guide this year.It was also a chance to see goth morris dancers - not, as you'd expect, eye-linered sulkers in long coats, but blokes with ZZ Top beards and women in black frocks perambulatung in a slow and desultory fashion to some minor key accordian playing. Strangely compelling.<br />
Talking of Old Bear, there was a chance to try their new brew and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Britain's strongest beer</span> (unofficially) - the 12.5% Duke of Bronte Full Capstan Strength. This was served in a wine glass at the Scarborough in Leeds and the first surprise was that it was a light beer. The second was it didn't have the slight chemically taste that some strong beers have. Worth a sup as was the Leeds Brewery's ales - a new kid on the block with excellent bitter and mild. <br />
The latter is Midnight Bell which won best beer at the Huddersfield Beer Festival where I spent an exhaustinng few hours behind the bar.<br />
A few days before that I was in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Southport</span> where I spent much of childhood. The town now relies heavily on The Guest House for the quality of its ale and as an attractive pub. I popped into some of my old haunts to see what they were like:The Falstaff looked to be geared mainly for food, had an unadventurous selection of real ales (Black Sheep etc) and was virtually empty.<br />
The Coronation had a Greene King sign outside but no real ale inside and is now just a garish yoof joint.O'Neills has been reverted to its old name The Hoghton and was closed by 11.30 on Saturday (sigh) - the decor looked horrible and there seemed to be one ale pump.<br />
The Masons, however, was great. Customers and staff were singing along to some Celine Dion-type ballad when I walked in. There was Unicorn and Hartley's on - I'm not a big fan of bland Robinson's brews but the Unicorn was great. I'd forgotten about the wood-panelled snug with roaring fire.<br />
After spending most of the night at the Guesty, supping lovely Cains, it was late drinks at The Ship, a pub which has never recovered from being opened out into one big room a few years ago.There were three Sam Smith's electric beers - all off - when I was there and some lively karaoke by a leopard-skinned-trousered lady belting out Robbie Williams' Angels and replacing the lyric 'I'm loving Angels instead' with 'Im with this arsehole in bed'.<br />
Like the Masons, most of the regulars looked like the sort of people Clint Eastwood shoots in spaghetti westerns. Good atmosphere though, like the Fox and Goose across the way - once a three-storey Berni Inn it's been a rockers pub for years. We were greeted by the lead singer of a band doing a rocky version of The Proclaimers' 500 Miles while leading a conga around the bar. The beer was slightly more drinkable than normal.<br />
How Southport needs The Grove in Huddersfield where they had a fantastic <span style="font-weight: bold;">Fuller's night</span>. Although London Pride is common up here, it was great to try Discovery, London Porter and especially ESB again. What a good idea for breweries to 'take over' a pub for the night. The pub was packed (on a Wednesday) with sausages and pies laid on and raffles of Fuller's products.<br />
A few miles down the road is <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Riverhead in Marsden</span>, now part of the Ossett empire, although they are still making Riverhead's beers. They've also done up the place - the bar is on the opposite side and upstairs is now a very good restaurant - wholesome food, tastefully presented. It's another triumph for Ossett - the beer has actually improved and The Riverhead needed to serve food as it attracts a lot of hungry walkers and hippy/arty inhabitants<br />
Good beer was to be had at the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Worth Valley Beer and Music Weekend</span>in October. This is my favourite beer festival of the year, although it's not an official Camra one.Some beers are sold at Keighley, others on the train to Oxenhope and most are at the engine shed. They moved a train out to accommodate more people and they certainly needed the space - by Saturday night the beer was running out and there was still a day to go!<br />
The trains in the shed create a great atmosphere, there was good blues music and of course the beers - which feature a description of each one on the pumps and barrels - are spot on. Highlights included Dent Aviator, Cornish Knocker Ale by Skinner's and Southport Brewery's Natterjack.<br />
Finally a couple of December days-out. Firstly <span style="font-weight: bold;">Skipton</span> - an attractive market town that looks great at Christmas time and has some lovely looking pubs on the outside which look awful inside with no real ale.The Cross Keys, for example, is a stunning looking farmhouse cottage building which sells Whitebread Trophy, has horrible striped wallpaper and a pool table dominates the bar when you walk in. The Red Lion is equally awful.<br />
The Narrow Boat - the town's only beer guide pub - is, not surprisingly, doing a roaring trade. Bland Copper Dragon and an absence of dark beers and milds are its only faults. Elsewhere Wetherspooon's Devonshire is a cracking conversion of country-house type hotel in the centre of town. There's enough little rooms and alcoves to get away from the usual Wetherspoon all-day quaffing hardmen at the bar. There's also the Fleece, offering a full range of Timmy Taylor's.<br />
A few days later I was in <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sowerby Bridge</span>, which, by contrast, looks rather bleak at Christmas, with its forlorn bulbs lining the street. But it does, amazingly for a town of this size, have five real ale pubs in the guide, including two of my favourites, <br />
The Puzzle Hall, a cosy Taylor's pub down a country lane with friendly cats and dogs, and The Works, a more modern pub on the same lane with about half a dozen real ales on.I couldn't find The Rushcart, another pub in the guide, but I did find The White Lion after a walk up a steep hill past endless back to backs in foul weather conditions - it really was grim up north. Good pint of Tetley's Mild though.<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>Camra's best beer of 2007</b></span><br />
<b>August 2007: Hobsons Mild from Hobsons Brewery in Shropshire has been judged to be the best beer in Britain by a panel of brewers, beer writers and journalists at the Great British Beer Festival. There were 50 finalists in eight categories.</b><br />
The Silver award went to Mighty Oak brewery in Essex for their Maldon Gold. The Bronze was awarded to Green Jack brewery in Suffolk for Ripper.<br />
<b>CATEGORY WINNERS</b><br />
<b>Milds </b><br />
Gold Hobsons Mild<br />
Silver Nottingham Rock Mild<br />
Bronze Brain's Dark<br />
<b>Bitters </b><br />
Gold Castle Rock Harvest Pale<br />
Silver Twickenham Crane Sundancer<br />
Joint Bronze Surrey Hills Ranmore Ale & Fyne Piper's Gold<br />
<b>Best Bitters </b><br />
Gold Purple Moose Glaslyn Ale<br />
Silver George Wright Pipe Dream<br />
Joint Bronze Fuller's London Pride & Nethergate Suffolk County & Station House Buzzin'<br />
<b>Strong </b><br />
York Centurion's Ghost<br />
Silver Inveralmond Lia Fail<br />
Bronze Brain's SA Gold<br />
<b>Speciality Beers</b><br />
Gold Nethergate Umbel Magna<br />
Silver Little Valley Hebden Wheat<br />
Bronze St Peter's Grapefruit<br />
<b>Golden Ales </b><br />
Gold Mighty Oak Maldon Gold<br />
Silver Oak Leaf Hole Hearted<br />
Bronze Otley 01<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1197/527651470_76e54cb953.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1197/527651470_76e54cb953.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>ALEING AND DOWNING - REAL ALE EXCURSIONS 2007 </b></span><br />
<b>June 07: Three beer festivals, two old haunts, trips to Halifax and a train which sells beer - these are a few of my favourite things.</b><br />
<br />
Just like last year, the festival at the <b>West Riding Refreshment Rooms in Dewsbury </b>was blessed with glorious sunshine. My head looked like a boiled sweet after being sat at a table without an umbrella.As I wrote last year they've made a lovely job of the outdoor extension and this year they've added decking (that's right - decking in Dewsbury. Take that fancy dans in that there London).<br />
<br />
The festival was entitled Beer, Bangers and Blues and the languid blues tunes were ideal for the lazying weather. The only band I saw was the Gillroyd Parade - featuring a chap I knew from a former job. Shamefully I called him the wrong name and he knew my Christian and surnames - doh!Rob (for that was he, not Guy as I thought) is a tech-y and banished all my prejudices about musical techies (they only play Apples and press about three buttons during a gig because it's all been pre-programmed) by having a lovely crooning voice to tunes such as Goodnight Irene (I think), Folding Money and that Leadbelly song that Nirvana did (How Do You Sleep at Night?).<br />
<br />
Here's their MySpace site <a href="http://www.myspace.com/thegillroydparade">http://www.myspace.com/thegillroydparade</a> . I think they're named after a street in Morley.<br />
<br />
The festival was heaving by four on a Saturday but I did manage to try Springhead Liberty, Orkney Dark Island, Oakham Bishops' Farewell and some sausages flavoured with Tabatha the Knackered beer (mmm!).<br />
<br />
A week before that festival I met the Southport crew for a real ale birthday excursion for my pals John and Al in and around <b>Keighley</b>.Starting in The Corn Dolly in Bradford at 11.30am we had a beer on the Keighley and Worth Valley train (Salamander I think) and quaffed Taylors at the Fleece in Haworth and the Boltmakers in Keighley, where regulars were amazed that people from Southport were visiting Keighley.<br />
<br />
As for the train, it's £9 return to stand on a packed carriage for a 50-minute round trip. If it was a modern service there'd be a lot of grumbling but there's something magical about ambling through fields in a steam train with all the volunteers in their fancy uniforms.<br />
<br />
It does seem like going in time and you half expect to see Bernard Cribbins shouting: "Oakworth, O-oakworth!"<br />
<br />
Yet again I took a wrong turning from Haworth station in an attempt to find the rest of the village and ended up going up the wrong hill to be met by the eerie abandoned Bronte cinema. Everyone congratulated me on my brillaint sense of direction and said how much they enjoyed going up two steep cobbled hills instead of one.<br />
<br />
We finished in Fanny's Ale House in Saltaire, a UN World Heritage site like the Taj Mahal (that's Saltaire not Fanny's, although the pub should be!).<br />
<br />
A splendid excursion and all the trains were on time!<br />
<br />
Earlier in May I went to the Square Chapel in Halifax for <b>Mayfest</b>.No matter how good the beers are, a festival depends on a good venue - Wakefield's has never been the same since they moved out of the sumptuous town hall and into an underground gymnasium.<br />
<br />
The chapel in Halifax is a lovely building - high, ornate ceilings and pillars in the walls. Built in 1772 it was almost demolished in the 80s.<br />
<br />
It's also a very pleasant way to spend a Saturday afternoon - Guardian, pint, comfy chair - bliss. The beer range was relatively small, but good, with plenty of familiar names - Cains Bitter, Arran Blonde - and a few I hadn't tried such as Dorset Durdle Door and Gorton Chocolate Frog.<br />
<br />
I've been visiting Halifax regularly recently now my mate Derek's returned from his world travels. The <b>Three Pigeons</b> is always a port of call - a multi-room Ossett beer pub with splendid art deco trimmings - and the <b>Pump Room</b> nearby - new owners but beer quality just as good, and they're still one of the few pubs to favour rugby over football.<br />
<br />
I think Derek was at the <b>Star Inn beer festival in Lockwood, Huddersfield</b>, at the end of March.They could put many official town beer festivals to shame with the range of beers they put on - I think here were 60 or 70 on - the highlights for me included Coach House's Caramely Mild (just like it says on the tin), Goose Eye Mild, Summer Wine (new brewery in Holmfirth, can't remember beer name), Northern's Mighty Crowded, Allendale Wolf and Falstaff's Norman Wisdom - although when I started drinking this I inadvertedly spilled beer over the head of a stern faced man with a fob watch and round glasses then started laughing in his face and shouting: 'Mr Grimsdale, Mr Grimsdale.'<br />
<br />
Elsewhere in Hudds I've mainly been supping in <b>The Grove</b> and the <b>The Rat and Ratchet</b>. The Rat has deservedly won Hudds pub of the year - it's a handsome, lively pub with a good range of northern guests backing up excellently kept Ossett ales.<br />
<br />
The Grove is a rather more sedate place with a greater range of beers although there's too many light, headless southern ones for my taste.<br />
<br />
<b>Picture of my veiny hand - the lovely P</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.fullers.co.uk/images/page_images/beer_brands/1845/1845_bottle.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.fullers.co.uk/images/page_images/beer_brands/1845/1845_bottle.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 5px 5px; width: 100px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>WHAT TO DRINK ON CHRISTMAS DAY</b></span><b>Dec 2006: Here's Camra's advice for appropriate beers for various meals - although after drinking and eating all this lot, you'll be probably ready to blow like Mr Creosote ("a wafer-thin mint sir?")</b><br />
<br />
BREAKFAST: Smoked salmon and scrambled eggs TRY: An English style wheat beer WHY: The beer will complement the delicate flavour of the fish, but is not too hoppy as to overwhelm it.RECOMMENDED: Meantime Wheat Grand Cru (Contact brewery for stockists) or O'Hanlon's Double Champion Wheat. (Available at Booths, Thresher and Majestic).<br />
<br />
DINNER: For an Aperitif, try fruit beer such as Meantime Raspberry Grand Cru.(Contact brewery for stockists).STARTER: Vegetable Soup TRY: A pale bitter. WHY: The gentle perfume flavours of the beer will complement the taste of the vegetables and leave a pleasant hoppy aftertaste.RECOMMENDED: Coniston Bluebird Bitter. (Available at Asda, Booths, Co-op, Sainsbury's, Waitrose)<br />
<br />
MAIN COURSE: Turkey TRY: Malty Ales WHY: The bittersweet malt will bring out the subtler tastes of the turkey without overpowering the flavours in the vegetables and trimmings.RECOMMENDED: Fuller's 1845 - picture from Fuller's website. (Available at Asda, Sainsbury's, Tesco, Waitrose).<br />
<br />
VEGETARIAN: Nut Loaf TRY: A Malty Ale suitable for vegetarians WHY: The spicy, smoky flavours of the malt will complement the nuttiness of the dish.RECOMMENDED: Black Isle Organic Scotch Ale (Suitable for vegans. Contact the brewery for stockists).<br />
<br />
DESSERT: Christmas Pudding or mince pies.TRY: A dark stout or porter WHY: The roast coffee and chocolate flavours in dark stout or porter are a perfect match with sweet desserts (including the after dinner chocolate mint).RECOMMENDED: Titanic Stout. (Available at Sainsbury's).As a digestive try a barley wine such as the 2006 Champion Winter Beer of Britain, A over T by Hog's Back Brewery.(Available at Harrods).<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.thestarinn.info/images/pubelipse.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.thestarinn.info/images/pubelipse.gif" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>STAR QUALITY</b></span><b>July 2006: Doh! Even though the Star Inn beer festival was on my website, I forgot about it until I was in the pub on July 7.</b><br />
<br />
The Star, in Lockwood, is one of Huddersfield's best pubs and doesn't just add a couple of extra beers at the bar, they erect a whacking great marquee at the back.<br />
<br />
I thought they'd be serving 20 beers, or even 30, but they were serving SEVENTY!And they were selling parkin - ginger food of the gods!<br />
<br />
Real ale AND parkin, did I die and go to heaven in a big white marquee? (There was also cheese - boo!)<br />
<br />
In a Norman Wisdom-esque entrance to the big tent I dropped my glass, but fortunately I was allowed another one for free and quaffed two or three excellent dark ales.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>THE WORLD SUP - IN DEWSBURY</b><br />
June 2006: Can there anything be better than lazing on a Saturday afternoon - in Dewsbury?<br />
<br />
The West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury train station, held its annual beer festival from June 1-4 and named it The World Sup in honour of some minor association football tournament.<br />
Part of the car park at the side of the pub has been sectioned off, a fence erected and most of the area is covered, plus there's a little stage at the end.<br />
<br />
It doesn't sound much but with a glorious day and 26 quaffable ales it was very relaxing, plus some spirited versions of Oasis/Small Faces songs by a couple of well-oiled fellas.The Red Lion Chardonale was beer of the festival.<span style="font-size: 130%;"></span>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1145555878885814362014-12-02T07:00:00.000+00:002016-01-05T17:16:24.387+00:00FILMS AND TV<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">CHRISTMAS TV AND RADIO HIGHLIGHTS </span><br />
TV (Free channels only)<b><b></b></b></b><br />
<br />
<b>A Kind of Loving (Dec 30, True Entertainment)</b><br />
Bog standard free channel shows an absolute gem, including Thora Hird's fearsome specs<br />
<br />
<b>The Apprentice - The Final (Dec 21, BBC1)</b><br />
Impressing the cockney gruffalo<br />
<br />
<b>A Shot in the Dark (Dec 26, C5)</b><br />
Second Pink Panther film. One of the funniest<br />
<br />
<b>Charlie Brooker's 2014 Wipe (Dec 30, BBC2)</b><br />
<br />
<b>Doctor Who (Dec 25, BBC1)</b><br />
Excellent first Capaldi series but Who Xmas specials are usually duff. This one features Santa (ho-hum)<br />
<br />
<b>Frenzy (Jan 1, BBC2)</b><br />
Plenty of Hitchcock films on BBC2 this Christmas. This later one is often overlooked but is still disturbing<br />
<br />
<b>Galaxy Quest (Jan 1, BBC1)</b><br />
Excellent Star Trek spoof<br />
<br />
<b>Harry and Paul's Story of the 2's (Dec 27, BBC2)</b><br />
Hilarious look at the history of BBC2 with Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse ('Pipes in, pencils out')<br />
<br />
<b>House of Fools (Dec 28, BBC2)</b><br />
Vic and Bob's Christmas special<br />
<br />
<b>The Incredible Adventures of Professor Branestawm (Dec 24, BBC1)</b><br />
Harry Hill stars in one-off show based on kids' books<br />
<br />
<b>John Le Mesurier: It's All Been Rather Lovely (Dec 20, BBC2)</b><br />
Lovely doc - title refers to his dying words<br />
<br />
<b>Julie Walters: A Life on Screen (Dec 24, BBC2)</b><br />
<br />
<b>The Look of Love (Dec 30, C4)</b><br />
Steve Coogan is porn baron Paul Raymond<br />
<br />
<b>Marvel: Avengers Assemble (Dec 26, BBC1)</b><br />
Superhero equivalent of tag team wrestling<br />
<br />
<b>Marvellous (Dec 25, BBC2)</b><br />
Repeat of the heart-warming play about Neil Baldwin whose innocence and genial outlook lead to extraordinary opportunities<br />
<br />
<b>Masterchef: The Professionals (Dec 23, BBC2)</b><br />
The final<br />
<br />
<b>Rik Mayall: Lord of Misrule (Dec 20, BBC2)</b><br />
Profile of much-missed comedian, followed by Young Ones: Interesting ('Does anyone here like the Human League?')<br />
<br />
<b>Miranda (Dec 25 and Jan 1, BBC1)</b><br />
Final episodes of the series starring the naturally funny comic who has been unfairly criticised for her 'old-fashioned' comedy. She's got a great comic face and times the pratfalls to perfection.<br />
<br />
<b>Muppet Christmas Carol (Dec 24, C4)</b><br />
<br />
<b>Muriel's Wedding (Dec 25, C5)</b><br />
You're terrible Muriel.<br />
<br />
<b>The Pirates In An Adventure With The Scientists (Dec 26, BBC1)</b><br />
Aardman jollity<br />
<br />
<b>The Railway Children (Dec 22, ITV)</b><br />
OAKWORTH!<br />
<br />
<b>Reservoir Dogs (Dec 29, C5)</b><br />
Still astonishing, still unique<br />
<br />
<b>The Royle Family (Dec 23, BBC1)</b><br />
2012 Christmas special<br />
<br />
<b>Serendipity (Dec 21, BBC2)</b><br />
Fanciful but rather lovely romantic film<br />
<br />
<b>Skyfall (Dec 24, ITV)</b><br />
TV premiere of Bond movie<br />
<br />
<b>That Day We Sang (Dec 26, BBC2)</b><br />
Members of a former children's choir meet as adults. Based on Victoria Wood's play<br />
<b><br />
Up (Jan 2, BBC1)</b><br />
<br />
<b>Victoria Wood's Midlife Christmas (Dec 26, ITV)</b><br />
The 2009 Xmas special<br />
<br />
<b>RADIO</b><br />
<br />
<b>Barry Cryer's Christmas Selection Box (Dec 20, R4X)</b><br />
Three-hour show features The Goons, Round the Horne and Radioactive, among others<br />
<br />
<b>Blackpool Night (Dec 23, R4X)</b><br />
1963 variety show with Morecambe and Wise<br />
<br />
<b>Count Arthur Strong's Christmas Special (Dec 26, R4)</b><br />
Written by Steve Delaney on his own, so hopefully no change of character to the watered-down TV Arthur<br />
<br />
<b>Dead Ringers (Dec 26, Jan 2, R4)</b><br />
Great radio return - Farage especially.<br />
<br />
<b>Dr Who (Dec 22, R4X)</b><br />
2011 tale with Tom Baker<br />
<br />
<b>Dr Who - The Lost Episodes (Dec 27, R4X)</b><br />
<br />
<b>Junior Choice with Ed Stewart (Dec 25, R2)</b><br />
<br />
<b>The Lady in Van (Dec 28, R4X)</b><br />
With Maggie Smith and Alan Bennett<br />
<br />
<b>Live Hour - Rolling Stones, Leeds, 1971 (Dec 24, R6)</b><br />
<br />
<b>Memories of a Cad (Dec 30, R4)</b><br />
Roy Smiles play about a meeting between Terry-Thomas and Richard Briers in 1984.<br />
<br />
<b>Naughty Navy Show (Dec 24, R4X)</b><br />
1965 Spike Milligan live show<br />
<br />
<b>The Reunion (Dec 25, R4)</b><br />
Wallace and Gromit (really)<br />
<br />
<b>The Shuttleworths (Dec 24, Dec 25, Jan 2, R4X)</b><br />
<br />
<b>Up the Pole (Dec 24, R4X)</b><br />
Jimmy Jewell and Ben Warriss<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>HOORAY FOR HOLMFIRTH!</b></span><br />
The excellent Holmfirth Film Festival returns on May 23-30 with a programme of Hollywood blockbusters, rare British films and some intriguing foreign language movies. <br />
<br />
The festival really punches above its weight - what other town of this size would have such a variety of movies? There are over 60 screenings in pubs, village halls, churches and even a truck!<br />
<br />
Highlights for me include: Alan Bennett's The Day Out, Enough Said, Filth, Inside Llewyn Davis, Local Film Night, Nebraska, Eric Portman film and talk, Pulp Fiction, Under Milk Wood, Wolf of Wall Street and - a 1947 Diana Dors cycling film set in Hebden Bridge (A Boy, A Girl and A Bike).<br />
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<b>The marker pens have been flourished, the Christmas Radio Times has been marked and the programmes have been cross-referenced with the TV Times - yes it's Christmas telly. This year is dominated by a new Who and the return of Sherlock, and a key Christmas for Corrie with the (probable) departure of two major characters. Other new stuff includes Caitlin Moran's new sitcom and an Olivia Colman thriller.</b><br />
<br />
<b>December 22</b><br />
<br />
5.25pm Muppets and Lady Gaga at Christmas (C5)<br />
<br />
9pm Homeland (C4)<br />
Finale. Series has been implausible but thrilling <br />
<br />
10.25pm Never Let Me Go (C4)<br />
Boarding school hides shocking secret. Eerie sci-fi film, based on Ishiguro novel <br />
<b><br />
December 23</b><br />
<br />
10.50pm Raised By Wolves (C4)<br />
Caitlin Moran and sister Kaz wrote this sitcom based on their teenage lives<br />
<br />
<b>December 24</b><br />
<br />
12.10pm Manchurian Candidate (ITV4)<br />
Brainwashing Commie plot to assassinate the President.Gripping.<br />
<br />
1.10pm It’s A Wonderful Life (C4)<br />
Christmas favourite that hasn’t been on terrestrial TV on this day for years<br />
<br />
7pm Titfield Thunderbolt (BBC4)<br />
Ealing comedy about saving a train line. Slightly dated<br />
<br />
9pm IT Crowd (C4)<br />
Last episode, plus fans' and writers' favourite episodes and a doc on the show<br />
<br />
9.30pm Rising Damp (ITV3)<br />
Christmas special<br />
<br />
9.45pm Mel Smith: I’ve Sort Of Done Things (BBC2)<br />
Tribute to late comic and director<br />
<br />
11pm Planes, Trains and Automobiles (Film 4)<br />
Steve Martin and John Candy as the tight ass and the aimiable slob struggling to get home for Thanksgiving. Wonderful comedy<br />
<b><br />
December 25</b><br />
<br />
3.10pm Lavender Hill Mob (Film 4)<br />
Ealing comedy – meek bank clerk plans audacious robbery<br />
<br />
4.35pm Muppet Christmas Carol (Channel 4)<br />
Mice in shirts – always funny<br />
<br />
7.30pm Dr Who (BBC1)<br />
Goodbye Matt, hello Peter<br />
<br />
10.15pm Whatever Happened to The Likely Lads (BBC4)<br />
Christmas special<br />
<br />
11.05pm Father Ted (C4)<br />
7 episodes including Christmassy, ‘lovely girls’ and ‘the Chinese: a great bunch of lads’<br />
<br />
11.25pm The Troll Hunter (Film 4)<br />
Norwegian horror thriller – big hairy trolls, not Troels<br />
<br />
<b>December 26</b><br />
<br />
7.40pm Still Open All Hours (BBC1)<br />
G-G-Granville’s taken over the shop. Nurse Gladys is on hand<br />
<br />
9pm Sightseers (Film 4)<br />
Black comedy about caravans and killers. If it’s anything like director Ben Wheatley's other films, this should be extremely unsettling<br />
<br />
10pm Never Mind the Baubles: Xmas 77 with the Sex Pistols (BBC4)<br />
Includes Julien Temple’s footage of the Pistols' last UK concert which was in Huddersfield on Christmas Day <br />
<br />
<b>December 28</b><br />
<br />
6.50pm Up (BBC1)<br />
Touching and wonderful animated adventure<br />
<br />
10.40pm Charlie Brooker’s 2013 Wipe (BBC2)<br />
Hangdog review of the year<br />
<br />
<b>December 30</b><br />
<br />
2am The Abominable Snowman (BBC2)<br />
Never seen this but it stars Peter Cushing and it’s directed by Val Guest<br />
<br />
11.25am Railway Children (ITV1)<br />
Oakworth!<br />
<br />
9.30pm The 13th Tale (BBC2)<br />
Psychological mystery starring Vanessa Redgrave and Olivia Colman<br />
<br />
Midnight Respect : A Felix Dexter Special (BBC2)<br />
Tribute to the comedian<br />
<b><br />
December 31 </b><br />
<br />
8pm Kind Hearts and Coronets (BBC4)<br />
Ealing classic and classic Alec Guinness<br />
<br />
10pm Kenneth Williams: Fantabulosa (Yesterday)<br />
Michael Sheen is fabulous in play based on Williams' diaries <br />
<br />
<b>January 1</b><br />
<br />
1.05am Toast of London<br />
Clem Fandango! All six episodes of the sitcom with shouty Matt Berry as shouty ham actor surrounded by characters with silly names.<br />
<br />
10.20am Who Framed Roger Rabit? (BBC1)<br />
Pur-leeese!<br />
<br />
9pm Sherlock (BBC1)<br />
Two years after his death, the cocky bugger’s back<br />
<br />
9pm Glasgow Big Night Out (BBC2)<br />
Performers' portrait of the city<br />
<br />
11pm Arena: Ken Dodd – Happiness<br />
2007 doc<br />
<br />
<b>January 2</b><br />
<br />
11.35am Flash Gordon (Channel 4)<br />
FLAASH MY OLD FRIEND!<br />
<br />
<b>January 3</b><br />
<br />
10pm Drive (BBC2)<br />
Crime thriller with Ryan Gosling, regarded as one of the best films of 2011<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Hebden Bridge may have fancy London ways but I love it. <span style="font-size: small;">Most towns this size have a supermarket and a few charity shops. Hebden makes the most of its beautiful old buildings with</span> quirky and delightful shops. It still has a cinema<span style="font-size: small;"> and a record shop</span> and also a great gig venue (Trades). A superb arts festival starts on June 23 and there's a chance to buy shares in a grand real ale pub as it (hopefully) becomes the first pub co-op</i><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><br />
HEBDEN BRIDGE ARTS FESTIVAL HIGHLIGHTS</b></span><br />
June 22<br />
Tracey Thorn in conversation, Birchcliffe Centre, 7.30pm<br />
Public Service Broadcasting. Dance to public information films. Trades Club, 9pm (sold out)<br />
<br />
June 23<br />
My Type of Town <br />
Guided tour of the of the town centre’s typefaces, Town hall, 1pm<br />
<br />
Simon Armitage: Wordstones <br />
Wordstones is a new trail along the Calder Valley, bearing words from young writers, carved by stone artist Pip Hall. This special event will feature a short reading from In Memory of Water by Simon Armitage, Town hall, 2.30pm<br />
<br />
June 26<br />
Daniel Kitson<br />
One of the greatest comedians. Picture House, 7.30pm (sold out)<br />
<br />
June 27<br />
John Bramwell<br />
I am Kloot genius. I remember him when he was Johnny Dangerously. Trades Club, 8pm. (sold out)<br />
<br />
June 28<br />
Thatcher Legacy <br />
Talk by ex-Labour minister and witty writer Chris Mullin, Birchcliffe Centre, 7.30pm<br />
<br />
June 29<br />
The Alcohol Years<br />
A wonderful documentary about lost youth. Carol Morley tries to piece together her wild life in 80s Manchester with the people who knew her at the time. Poignant, funny, shocking. Morley will discuss the making The Alcohol Years. This event also features some of the people who appear in the documentary. Interesting counterpoint to her brother's oop north memoir. Trades Club, 7.30pm<br />
<br />
June 30<br />
John Cooper Clarke<br />
Far from crazy pavements...<br />
Picture House, 8pm (sold out)<br />
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<a href="http://holmfirthfilmfestival.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/willself.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://holmfirthfilmfestival.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/willself.jpg" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Holmfirth Film Festival</b></span><br />
The festival gets bigger and better every year - a canny mix of old classics, Oscar winners and local films. Will Self, the former Wakefield Trinity scrum-half*, is the star attraction this year although there are plenty of other gems:<br />
<br />
<b>May 17:</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Sightseers: </b>killer geeks in Yorkshire caravan parks, made by the man who did the unsettling Kill List, Picturedrome, Holmfirth, 10pm<br />
<br />
<b>May 18:</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Night of the Demon:</b> inky black and white frights and the horrible idea of a curse that's almost impossible to get rid of. Foggy (Brian Wilde) goes mad. Cricketers Arms, Deanhouse, 7.30pm<br />
<br />
<b>May 19:</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>This Sporting Life:</b> cocky rugby league player ground down by the corporates in charge and the woman he can't quite win over. Paramount Cinema, Penistone, 2pm<br />
<br />
<b>Billy Liar:</b> Daydream believer who can't quite leave the security of his dull surroundings. Picturedrome, Holmfirth, 2pm. Billy Liar talk - 4pm, Brambles, Holmfirth<br />
<br />
<b>May 20:</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Will Self: </b> Big-word, wolf-face talks about his adventures in Hollywood and his favourite films. Picturedrome, Holmfirth, 7.30pm *He wasn't Wakefield Triniy scrum half<br />
<br />
<b>Life of Pi:</b> A tiger called Richard in a boat. Oscar winner. Cricketers Arms, Deanhouse, 7.30pm<br />
<br />
<b>May 21:</b> <b> </b><br />
<b>Acoustic Routes:</b> The great Bert Jansch. Cricketers Arms, Deanhouse, 7.30pm<br />
<b><br />
The Eschatrilogy: Book of the Dead:</b> Zombies in Barnsley. Paramount Cinema, Penistone, 9ish<br />
<b><br />
May 22: </b><br />
<b>Beer Hunter - The Movie:</b> An intimate portrait of the former Huddersfield Examiner journalist, Michael Jackson, who was acknowledged to be the finest writer on beer. The Nook, Holmfirth, 7.30pm<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>CHRISTMAS T<span style="font-size: large;">V <span style="font-size: large;">A<span style="font-size: large;">ND RADIO </span></span></span>2012</b></span><br />
<br />
<b>December 23</b><br />
<br />
6.30pm BBC2 Morecambe and Wise Xmas Show <br />
1973, with Rudolph Nearenough<br />
<br />
7.30pm Radio 4 Extra Horne of Plenty<br />
Kenneth Horne doc plus first and last episodes of Beyond Our Ken and Round the Horne<br />
<br />
7.35pm BBC2 Victoria Wood With All the Trimmings <br />
2000 Xmas Special<br />
<br />
8.30pm BBC1 Loving Miss Hatto. <br />
Written by Victoria Wood, based on a true story about a classical music hoax<br />
<br />
9pm Channel 4 Homeland <br />
Climax of second series which at times has been thrilling and at other times has a feeling of 'let's-throw-everything-in-the-air-and-see-what-works'<br />
<br />
9pm Channel 5 Bad Santa <br />
A Christmas classic. Would you like some sandwiches?<br />
<br />
11pm Channel 4 In Bruges <br />
Superb and touching black comedy about hitmen<br />
<b><br />
Christmas Eve</b><br />
<br />
10.20am BBC1 Who Framed Roger Rabbit? <br />
Toons<br />
<br />
11am Channel 4 Muppet Christmas Carol <br />
Best Christmas film<br />
<br />
11am Film 4 Silent Running <br />
Huey, Dewey, Bruce Dern and the last plants from Earth on a spaceship<br />
<br />
8pm Channel 4 The Snowman and Snowdog<br />
Long-awaited sequel to Raymond Briggs’ classic<br />
<br />
8.30pm BBC2 Ronnie Barker Night<br />
Open All Hours, Porridge and a couple of docos<br />
<br />
10pm Channel 4 Peep Show <br />
Finale. A pale echo of previous series<br />
<br />
10.30pm Channel 4 Friday Night Dinner <br />
A simple, old-fashioned, superbly-acted sitcom<br />
<br />
1.05am BBC1 Serendipity<br />
Slightly ludicrous but endearing romantic comedy about chance encounters<br />
<b><br />
Christmas Day</b> <br />
<br />
11.15am Radio 4 Extra A Resounding Tinkle<br />
NF Simpson play starring Deryck Guyler as chosen by Eric Sykes<br />
<br />
12 Radio 4 Extra The Goon Show<br />
The last episode Eric Sykes co-wrote<br />
<br />
5.15pm BBC1 Dr Who<br />
Versus evil snowmen. These Crimbo specials aren’t usually great but there’s a chance to meet (or meet again?) Lord Time’s new assistant, who may (or may not) be a Dalek<br />
<br />
9.45pm The Royle Family <br />
Unlike Who, these specials are usually great, but why aren’t writers Aherne, Cash and Mealey given a chance to write something else?<br />
<br />
1.05am Channel 4 Airplane<br />
Don’t call me Shirley<br />
<br />
<b>Boxing Day</b><br />
<br />
9.25am ITV The Railway Children <br />
Oakworth! OAKWORTH!<br />
<br />
9pm BBC1 Miranda <br />
A bit like Hylda Baker’s tall sidekick Cynthia crossed with Norman Wisdom. That’s all good, believe me<br />
<br />
9pm BBC2 The Girl <br />
Hitchcock (Toby Jones) becomes obsessed with Tippi Hedren (Sienna Miller)<br />
<br />
9pm ITV Doors Open <br />
Art forgery caper with Stephen Fry and Douglas Henshall. Based on the Ian Rankin novel<br />
<br />
9pm Radio 2 Mike Yarwood: So This Is Him<br />
Documentary<br />
<br />
1.20am Channel 4 Airplane 2<br />
<b><br />
December 27</b><br />
<br />
3.25pm BBC1 Monsters v Aliens <br />
Animated sci-fi comedy<br />
<br />
1.25am Together <br />
Wonderful and touching Swedish film<br />
<br />
<b>December 28</b><br />
<br />
11.05am BBC2 The Lady Vanishes/39 Steps <br />
Classic Hitch double. First up, no-one believes a train passenger when she claims another passenger has gone missing. Second, a man goes on the run when no-one believes he is innocent of murder<br />
<b><br />
December 29</b><br />
<br />
2pm BBC1 Olympics 2012<br />
<br />
5.05pm BBC2 John Le Mesurier: It’s All Been Rather Lovely. <br />
His dying words apparently. A rather lovely doc on a rather lovely man<br />
<br />
6.45pm BBC1 Superstars <br />
No Wiggo v Murray but medal stars Mo, the Brownlee Bros, Nicola Adams and Katherine Grainger<br />
<br />
11.10pm Channel 4 Wuthering Heights <br />
Andrea Arnold version<br />
<b><br />
December 30</b><br />
<br />
9pm Channel 5 <br />
An Audience with Ken Dodd<br />
What a wonderful evening for… <br />
<br />
10pm BBC2 Moon <br />
Enthralling and original sci-fi film<br />
<b><br />
New Year’s Eve</b><br />
<br />
4pm Radio4 Roger, the Eagle Has Landed<br />
Tribute to the man who founded Eric's club in Liverpool<br />
<br />
8pm ITV4 Flash Gordon <br />
GORDON’S ALIVE! Blessed B<br />
<br />
9.30pm BBC4 Numb: Simon Amstell Live<br />
<br />
11.10pm Film 4 Sexy Beast <br />
Sweaty Ray v Sweary Ben<br />
<b><br />
New Year’s Day</b><br />
<br />
6.30pm BBC1 Up <br />
Wonderful<br />
<br />
7.30pm Channel 4 Frankie Howerd: the Lost Tapes<br />
<br />
10.45pm Animal Kingdom<br />
Aussie crime drama<br />
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<b>Jul 12: I love the Olympics. I love watching sports that I never usually watch. I love the fact that a lot of the participants are part-timers putting in years of effort with little financial reward. </b><br />
<br />
And that’s what the Olympics are about – not the sponsors with their ridiculous exclusivity rules, not the hopeless private companies, not the whingeing Londoners still complaining despite the huge investment in a shitty part of their city, and not the contrast with Olympic spending and the Tory spending cuts. <br />
<br />
If you’re going to have the Games, do it properly - they bring joy to millions and comparing spending on sport to, say, the NHS is like comparing cheese and string. You’re never going to find a cure for cancer with all the money from the Games. And who is to say an ill person might have their spirits revived by a memorable moment in the Games, in the same way as they are inspired by a wonderful work of art?<br />
<br />
Danny Boyle's opening ceremony is a case in point - an inspirational work of art, celebrating the quirkiness of the country (and northernness of the country - Corrie, Kes, Brookside, Arctic Monkeys, industrial revolution, suffragettes, St Helens motto) <br />
<br />
You may not like sport, fair enough. But please don’t bore me by making a big point of how you are not going to watch the Olympics. It’s two weeks every four years, I really don’t care if you’re painting the shed to avoid the Olympics.<br />
<br />
Some of the sports are bobbins, of course, sailing (wind and leaning – like me after the ale), gymnastics (skinny circus acts), synchronised swimming (skinny smirkers), show jumping (trot on Squiffy!), basketball (bounce, bounce, score, bounce, bounce, score), football (disappointing oafs) and water polo (wet mints).<br />
<br />
So here are my highlights - five or six events a day with GB medal prospects. I’ve struggled to find one place which has all the key events - the Radio Times probably has the best guide. <br />
<br />
Dates, sports (and GB medal prospects – most events on BBC1, BBC3 or 301)<br />
<b>Saturday July 28</b><br />
10am start – 4pm finish Cycling – men’s road race (Mark Cavendish backed by up the mighty Wiggins) <br />
11am-8pm Tennis, first round<br />
7.20pm Handball (women) GB v Montenegro (curious to see first match)<br />
8.10pm Swimming – 400m individual final (Hannah Miley)<br />
<b><br />
Sunday July 29</b><br />
Noon-4pm Cycling – women’s road race (Nicole Cooke and Lizzie Armistead)<br />
7pm Hockey (women) – GB v Japan<br />
7.30pm Swimming – 100m butterfly (Ellen Gandy)<br />
8.15pm Swimming - 400m freestyle (Rebecca Adlington)<br />
<br />
<b>Monday, July 30</b><br />
12.30pm Weightlifting (Zoe Smith) <br />
3pm Diving Synchronised (Tom Daley and Peter Waterfield)<br />
7pm Hockey (men) GB v Argentina<br />
7.50pm Swimming – 100m backstroke (Liam Tancock and Gemma Spoforth)<br />
<b><br />
Tuesday July 31</b><br />
9.30am Judo 81 kg (Euan Barton)<br />
3.05pm Canoeing – Slalom men’s single (David Florence)<br />
4pm Hockey (women) – GB v South Korea<br />
840pm Swimming – Women’s 200m ind medley (Hannah Miley<br />
<b><br />
Wednesday August 1</b><br />
10.10am Rowing – Women’s Pair Final (Glover and Stanning)<br />
12.20pm Cycling – Time Trial (Emma Pooley)<br />
2.15pm Cycling – Time Trial (Wiggins! Wiggins! Wiggins! - and Froome)<br />
3.15pm Canoeing – Kayak (Richard Hounslow)<br />
4pm Hockey – men GB v South Africa<br />
8.10pm Swimming – women’s 200m butterfly (Ellen Gandy)<br />
<br />
<b>Thursday, August 2</b><br />
11am- 8pm Tennis, men’s quarter-finals (Andy Murray)<br />
12.25pm Badminton, mixed doubles semi-finals (Adcock and Bankier)<br />
3.15pm Canoeing _ Doubles final (Florence and Hounslow)<br />
6pm Cycling – Women’s Team Sprint (Pendleton and Varnish)<br />
6.15pm Cycling – Men’s Team Sprint (Hoy, Kenny, Hindes)<br />
7pm Hockey – women GB v Belgium<br />
8.35pm Swimming – Women’s 100m freestyle (Fran Halsall)<br />
<b><br />
Friday, August 3</b><br />
8.55am-5.10pm Badminton: mixed doubles bronze medal match and final <br />
10.05am Athletics – Heptathlon (Jessica Ennis)<br />
12.10pm Rowing – women’s double sculls (Watkins and Grainger)<br />
1.45pm Tennis – men’s semis (Andy Murray)<br />
4pm Hockey – men, GB v Pakistan<br />
6pm Cycling – men’s team pursuit<br />
6.40pm Cycling – women’s keirin (Victoria Pendleton)<br />
7.45pm Swimming – women’s 800m freestyle (Rebecca Adlington)<br />
<b><br />
Saturday August 4</b><br />
9am Triathlon (Helen Jenkins)<br />
10.30am Rowing – Men’s Four<br />
12.10 Rowing – double sculls<br />
12.30pm Athletics – 100m heats<br />
4pm Hockey – women GB v China<br />
5.40pm Cycling – Women’s team pursuit<br />
7.30pm Swimming - 50m freestyle (Fran Halsall)<br />
7.55pm Athletics – long jump (Greg Rutherford)<br />
8.35pm Heptathlon final event (Jessica Ennis)<br />
9.15pm Athletics - men’s 10,000m (Mo Farah)<br />
<br />
<b>Sunday August 5</b><br />
11am Women’s marathon (Paula Radcliffe?)<br />
2pm Tennis – men’s singles final (Andy Murray?)<br />
6.10pm Cycling – omnium ends (Ed Clancy)<br />
7pm Hockey – men GB v Aus<br />
8.30pm Boxing quarter-finals<br />
9.10pm Athletics – women’s 400m (Christine Ohuruogu)<br />
9.50pm Athletics Men’s 100m final<br />
<br />
<b>Monday August 6</b><br />
2.50pm Gymnastics – women’s uneven bars (Beth Tweddle)<br />
5.40pm Cycling – men’s track sprint (Jason Kenny)<br />
7pm Athletics – women’s pole vault (Holly Bleasdale)<br />
7pm Hockey – women GB v Netherlands<br />
8.45pm Athletics – men’s 400m hurdles (Dai Greene)<br />
<br />
<b>Tuesday August 7</b><br />
11.30am Triathlon (the Brownlee brothers)<br />
5pm Cycling – end of the omnium (Laura Trott)<br />
5.25pm Cycling - women’s sprint (Victoria Pendleton)<br />
5.50m Cycling – keirin (Chris Hoy)<br />
7pm Athletics – high jump (Robbie Grabarz)<br />
7pm Hockey – men GB v Spain<br />
<b><br />
Wednesday August 8</b><br />
9.40am Canoeing – K1 1000m (Tim Brabants)<br />
2pm Boxing – women’s semis<br />
3.30pm Hockey – women’s semi<br />
8pm Hockey – women’s semi<br />
8.25pm Boxing – men’s quarter-finals<br />
8.45pm Athletics – women’s 400m hurdles (Perri Shakes-Drayton)<br />
<br />
<b>Thursday August 9</b><br />
Noon Swimming – women’s 10km (Keri-anne Payne)<br />
3-10.15pm Taekwondo – women’s 57k (Jade Jones)<br />
3.30pm Hockey – men’s semi<br />
4pm Boxing – women’s finals<br />
7.20pm Athletics – men’s triple jump (Philips Idowu)<br />
8.55pm Athletics - men’s 200m <br />
<b><br />
Friday, August 10</b><br />
Noon Swimming – 10km (Daniel Fogg)<br />
2pm Boxing – men’s semis<br />
3.30pm Hockey – women’s bronze medal match<br />
4.30pm Cycling –BMX (Shanaze Reade and Liam Phillips)<br />
8pm Hockey – women’s final<br />
8.25pm Boxing – men’s semi finals<br />
8.55pm Athletics – women’s 1500m (Hannah England)<br />
10.15pm Taekwondo – women’s 67k (Sarah Stevenson, semis are at 5pm)<br />
<b><br />
Saturday, August 11</b><br />
9.35am Canoeing – men’s kayak 200m (Ed McKeever)<br />
10.45am Canoeing – men’s kayak doubles<br />
3.20pm Hockey – men’s bronze medal match<br />
7.30pm Athletics – 5,000m (Mo Farah)<br />
8pm Hockey – men’s final<br />
8.30pm Diving – men’s platform (Tom Daley)<br />
8.30pm Boxing finals<br />
<br />
<b>Sunday August 12</b><br />
8am-6pm Modern pentathlon (Mhairi Spence)<br />
1.30pm Boxing finals<br />
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The fantastic <b>Holmfirth Film Festival</b> returns on May 19-26 with an imaginative mix of old and new films in unusual venues and some intriguing talks.<br />
<br />
Highlights:<br />
<b>May 20: </b>Shirley Anne Fields at the Picturedrome (4pm talk, plus rare film Lunch Hour at 1pm and Peeping Tom)<br />
Simon Armitage introduces his favourite film White Silence, made in 1924 about Scott's trip to Antarctica (Picturedrome, 7.30pm)<br />
Red Dog/The Guard (Upperthong Village Hall, from 7pm)<br />
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<b>May 21:</b>Local Film Night including We Of The West Riding, directed by Ken Annakin in 1945 (Picturedrome, 7.30pm)<br />
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<b>May 22:</b>David Hockney documentaries (Picturedrome, 7pm)<br />
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<b>May 23:</b> Little Malcolm And His Struggle Against the Eunuchs - rare showing of 1974 film starring John Hurt, written by Huddersfield's David Halliwell and filmed in the town (Brambles, 3pm)<br />
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<b>May 24:</b> A Kind of Loving (1pm), followed by talk on British New Wave (Brambles)<br />
Joan Bakewell's favourite films (Pictuerdrome, 7.30pm)<br />
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<b>May 25:</b> The London Nobody Knows with James Mason (Brambles, 1pm)<br />
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<b>May 26:</b>Mod night: Joe Allison band and sixties tunes from a DJ (Brambles, 9pm)<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">TV CHRISTMAS HIGHLIGHTS</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 11: Some youths may be playing with their new Call of Nature computer games this Christmas, but television still holds a central part of the festive period for me, if only to drown out the post-sprout trumping and crackle of purple Quality Street wrappers. So here are my highlights, all from Freeview, including some you might have missed from the small print.</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Andy Williams Christmas Show (Dec 22, BBC4)</span> Looks like a skinny Kirk Douglas now, sings like a dream. Can't Take My Eyes Off You was a big hit at our wedding.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bad Santa (Dec 21, C5)</span> Would you like some sandwiches? Billy Bob Thornton is a revolting shop Santa whose life is gradually transformed by a bullied child.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Ben Elton: Laughing at the 80s (Dec 28, C4) </span>Ben Elton’s quiet these days – does he feel too compromised about attacking Cameron? Anyway let’s hope this ‘best of’ features The Dangerous Brothers and Kevin McAleer’s fabulous owls routine.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Big Heat (Dec 19, BBC2) </span>Classic Fritz Lang film noir.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Big Lebowski (Dec 19, Dave)</span> Some of the greatest movie characters of all time flounder around in a daft Chandleresque plot.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bill Bailey: Dandelion Mind (Christmas Eve, C4)</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Bleak Old Shop of Stuff (Dec 20, BBC2)</span> Peep Show blokes, Katherine Parkinson, Stephen Fry, Pauline McLynn, Johnny Vegas, Celia Imrie in Dickensian spoof.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Borrowers (Boxing Day, BBC1)</span> Victoria Wood, Stephen Fry and Christopher Ecclestone. If it wasn’t for the cast, I wouldn’t bother.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Catherine Tate: Laughing at the Noughties (Dec 19, C4)</span> Best comedians of 21st century<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Come Dine With Me Comedians Special</span> with Sean Hughes and Duncan Norvelle(!) (Dec 23, C4)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Comic Strip Presents…The Hunt for Tony Blair (Dec 29, C4)</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Cor Blimey (Dec 27, C5)</span> Based on the stage play about Sid James and Barbara Windsor’s affair.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dr Who (Christmas Day, BBC1)</span> Has there ever been a decent Xmas special? This one doesn’t sound promising – a Lion Witch and Wardrobe malarkey.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Father Ted: Unintelligent Design plus Small and Far Away – World of Father Ted.</span> Two Ted docs. Plus Milkman and Brennan Up The Arse episodes (Christmas Eve, More 4, Boxing Day, C4).<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Greatest Ever Carry On Films (Dec 27, C5)</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Gruffalo’s Child (Christmas Day, BBC1)</span> Hope it’s as good as the first one.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Imagine: The Art of Stand-Up (Dec 20/21, BBC1)</span> UK and US comedians on their backgrounds and formative influences.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Inbetweeners: Top 10 moments and Series 3 (Dec 23, C4).</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Killing 2: Double finale (Dec 19, BBC4)</span> Where is TROELS?<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Lapland (Christmas Eve, BBC1)</span> Sue Johnson in ‘heart warming comedy’ about Birkenhead family who search for Santa.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Le Donk and Scor-Zay-Zee (Dec 23, C4)</span> This could be the last time Paddy Considine appears in a Shane Meadows film for a bit as the former’s directing career takes off. Considine plays a rapper’s roadie Filmed in five days with no script.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Man Who Would Be King (Dec 28, BBC2) </span>Caine and Connery become gods in an ancient kingdom. Then it all goes tits up.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Many Faces of Les Dawson, followed by Best of Les Dawson (Christmas Eve, BBC1)</span>. Great comic wordsmith, wonderful delivery. Could be the Christmas programme of the year.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Miranda (Dec 23, BBC1)</span> Last year’s Xmas special.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Morecambe and Wise:</span> 1980 show (Dec 23, C5), Christmas compilation (Christmas Eve, BBC1) 1971 show (Christmas Day, BBC1) 1976 show (Boxing Day, BBC1).<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Muppet Christmas Carol (Christmas Eve, BBC1) </span>Best version of Scrooge, best Muppet film. Muppets Take Manhattan (Dec 19, C4)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pat and Margaret (Christmas Eve, Yesterday)</span> Probably the best Wood and Walters play. Lancs lass and her famous sister.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Railway Children (Dec 29, ITV)</span> Oakworth! Oakworth!<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Ratatouille (Christmas Day, BBC1) </span>Acclaimed Pixar animation<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Rising Damp Christmas Special (Dec 22, ITV3)</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Rita, Sue and Bob Too (Dec 19, More 4) </span>Bawdy and bleak.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Royle Family (Dec 21, BBC1).</span> Last year’s Xmas special.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sarah Palin – You Betcha (Dec 27, More 4)</span> Nick Broomfield tries to track down the potential leader of free world.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Simon Amstell: Do Nothing Live (Dec 22, ITV3)</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Star Trek 1,2,3 (Dec 19, Film 4) New Star Trek (Dec 20, Film 4) Star Trek First Contact (Dec 28, C4)</span>. Serenity, which is like a classic Star Trek episode, is on Dec 22, ITV1<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Tommy Cooper’s Christmas (Dec 23, C5) Untold Tommy Cooper (Dec 28, C4)</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Tropic Thunder (Dec 27, BBC1) </span>Robert Downey Jr steals the show in this spoof of war movies and method actors.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Victoria Wood: Seen on TV. (Boxing Day, BBC2)</span> Greatest hits<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">While The City Sleeps (Dec 22. BBC2)</span> Fritz Lang film. Journos try to crack murder case.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (Dec 19, BBC1)</span> Just fabulous – only disappointment is that Daffy Duck doesn’t twat Donald.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">You Have Been Watching David Croft (Dec 27, BBC2)</span> Tribute to writer of classic sitcoms.<br />
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<a href="http://holmfirthfilmfestival.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/unknown.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://holmfirthfilmfestival.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/unknown.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 205px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 402px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">HOLMFIRTH FILM FESTIVAL</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">May 11: The second festival looks to have come on leaps and bounds from the first, with imaginative choices, exclusive appearances and the best of local and international films Highlights include:</span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Celebrating the films and music of Nico</span><br />
I still can’t quite believe Nico visited Holmfirth for walking tours and that a memorial service was held at nearby St Johns, Upperthong (tonight’s venue), attended by Compo! Set against the backdrop of her films for Andy Warhol and Frederico Fellini, local artists and musicians – Catrin Morris, Michael Massey, L’Etranger and Napoleon 111rd – play Nico songs from the Velvets period and her solo career.<br />
May 22, 8pm<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">A Taste of Honey with Rita Tushingham</span><br />
The screening will be followed by a Q&A session with Rita. Picturedrome<br />
May 26, 7pm (A talk about Women in 1960s British Film, is on the same day at the Old Bridge, 1pm)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Brassed Off – Film, Q&A and brass band</span><br />
The Yorkshire Traction Honley Band will play favourites from the film in the Old Bridge Hotel Car Park from 1pm on May 22. Following the screening at the Picturedrome at 2pm, the film’s writer/director, Mark Herman, will take part in a Q&A (4pm)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Hell is a City</span><br />
Absolutely superb Manc noir (and a bit of Marsden) with Stanley Baker as copper so hard-boiled he’s been left in the pan. Old Bridge Hotel<br />
May 26, 2.30pm<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Stories From The Nook</span><br />
Premiere of Matthew Wetherill/David Birtwhistle/Ross Birk’s Stories from the Nook in which employees talk about this renowned drinking establishment’s history and what this longstanding Holmfirth institution means to them.<br />
May 21, 9pm, The Nook<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Recent releases: </span><br />
Submarine (May 21, Picturedrome, 7.30pm)<br />
Winter’s Bone (May 22, Upperthong Village Hall, 7.30pm)<br />
Skeletons (May 24, Old Bridge Hotel, 2.30pm)<br />
Of Gods and Men (May 25, Holmfirth Parish Church, 8pm)<br />
Another Year, Picturedrome, May 27, 2.30pm<br />
Animal Kingdom, Hepworth Village Hall, May 27, 7pm<br />
True Grit, Picturedrome, May 28, 6.30pm<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Local Film Night:</span><br />
A collection of short films about the Holme Valley, including a tribute to the late Derek Bamforth, grandson of the founder of Bamforth films, head of the postcard firm and the post-war manager of the Holme Valley Cinema. Plus the premiere of a documentary on the prolific film-maker and recorder of local events from the 1930s to the 1980s, Miss Lockwood. The Festival’s Local Short Film Competition winner<br />
(May 23, Picturedrome, 7pm)<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Films from The Colne Valley</span><br />
A selection of the films from the 1930s to the 1960s of Linthwaite teacher and cine-camera pioneer, Lucy Fairbanks. Plus the charming community produced film of last year’s harsh winter, Frozen Valley, by Colne Valley film-maker, Beverley Addy.<br />
(May 24, Old Bridge Hotel, 1pm)<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">MIK ARTISTIK - THE MOVIE!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">March 11: There's a chance to see the half-hour movie about the great comic singer and artist Mik Artistik at the Hyde Park Cinema, in Leeds, on Sunday March 13, from 8.30pm.</span><br />
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Films of his gigs, exhibitions and a bit about his life. Plus a gig by Mik and his band afterwards.<br />
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He's also on at the Zephyr, in Huddersfield, on March 24 and Puzzle Hall, in Sowerby Bridge, on April 2.<br />
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Here are some songs by the great man<br />
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Secret Cloak of Invisibility<br />
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Sculpture Workshop<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QbDtR8HVouM" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
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Turning into Dad<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/F83WCCf8RBQ" title="YouTube video player" width="480"></iframe><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">PETE POSTLETHWAITE RIP</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 11: Shocked to hear about Pete Postlethwaite's death at only 64. His presence always lifted mediocre films (Among Giants - love among the pylon painters), while he stood out in great films with strong casts (The Usual Suspects - genuinely scary).</span><br />
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His greatest role was probably in Brassed Off, where he played the doughty brass band conductor. It contains one of the saddest scenes in film, below. I really liked him in When Saturday Comes, in which he plays a similar mentor role, an underrated film and Sean Bean's best, let down by the ridiculous final football match scene.<br />
Postlethwaite had great presence, with his unwavering stare and lived-in face, but he was also very believable - whether scrapping dinosaurs in the Jurassic Park sequel or falling in love with a younger woman in Among Giants.<br />
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RIP Mr Postlethwaite.<br />
<br />
<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6F5vBsY9VZ8?fs=1&hl=en_GB"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6F5vBsY9VZ8?fs=1&hl=en_GB" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object> <a href="http://www.radiotimes.com/content/features/galleries/christmas-covers/25/mainImage.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.radiotimes.com/content/features/galleries/christmas-covers/25/mainImage.jpg" style="display: block; height: 400px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 250px;" /></a> <span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>BEST OF CHRISTMAS TV 2010</b> </span><b>No outstanding new shows to look forward to this year, but plenty of old favorites - The Goodies, a Peep Show night and Apprentice final. BBC4 is slightly disappointing -no special music nights or film seasons.</b> ACCUSED Last in the series of Jimmy McGovern’s emotional dramas, Dec 20, BBC1 9pm AN AUDIENCE WITH VICTORIA WOOD Dec 29, ITV3, 11.20pm ANDY WILLIAMS CHRISTMAS SHOWS Underrated crooner. Shows from 1962-1974. Dec 23, BBC4, 8pm APPRENTICE The Final ‘I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m a whole field of ponies’. It can’t be Baggs The Brand to win, surely? Dec 19, BBC1, 9pm BLACKADDER ‘I’m strangely attracted to you….Bob’. Rowan Atkinson makes one word sound hilarious. Dec 18, BBC2, 8.40pm. Blackadder Christmas Carol, Christmas Day, BBC2, 8.35pm THE CONVERSATION Professional wiretapper gets worried by a conversation he hears and the people he’s eavesdropping on. Complex, edgy film, starring Gene Hackman. Dec 23, Film 4, 10.50pm DIE HARD Aged well. Dec 19, Film 4, 9pm. Die Hard 2, Boxing Day, Film 4, 11.20pm. Die Hard 4.0, Dec 27, Film 4, 9pm DR WHO Michael Gambon is Scrooge-esque and the Doctor one of the ‘ghosts’. Christmas Day, BBC1, 6pm EDDIE WARING: MR RUGBY LEAGUE Another showing of a great documentary. Dec 28, BBC4, 2.05am FAREWELL MY LOVELY Dick Powell as Philip Marlowe, hired by a huge ex-con, Moose, to find his girl. Superb adaptation of Raymond Chandler classic, Boxing Day, BBC4, 10.40pm FATHER TED Series one, More 4, Dec 18, from 10.05pm. Christmassy Ted, Channel 4, Dec 19, 11pm. ‘The Chinese – a great bunch of lads’ and three other episodes, New Year’s Eve, Channel 4, 11.40pm GOMORRAH Drama set in Naples showing how the mafia corrupts everyone. Dec 29, BBC4, 10pm THE GOODIES Episodes shown from Dec 22-30 late on BBC2. A lot of it hasn’t aged well, but two episodes have – Kung Fu Capers (t’ noble art of t’ Ecky Thump), Dec 23, 11.30pm and Beanstalk, Dec 24, 12.25am HAIRY BIKERS Mums Know Best at Christmas, BBC2, 8pm. 12 Days of Christmas, Dec 20, BBC2, 1.15pm A HISTORY OF HORROR Mark Gattiss’s superb review - from Lon Chaney’s make-up to Chainsaw Massacre. Dec 29, 30 and 31, BBC4, 1.10am, 1.30am and 1.10am I AM LEGEND Will Smith is the last man on Earth after a virus turns everyone else into vampires. Dec 28, ITV1, 9pm IMAGINE: RAY DAVIES Dec 21, BBC1 10.35pm THE INBETWEENERS Series One. Boxing Day, E4, from 10pm. Series two, Dec 27, E4, from 10pm. Series three. Dec 28, E4, from 10pm JUNO Deadpan, wisecracking 16-year-old girl gets pregnant. Funny and moving. Great performance by Ellen Page, Dec 23, Film 4, 10.50pm LANTANA Clever Aussie murder-mystery in which you are never quite know who’s been killed and who the killer is. Dec 23, Channel 4, 1.25am LOOKING FOR ERIC One of Ken Loach’s best – Eric Cantona helps a Manc postman with his miserable life, Dec 21, Film 4, 9pm THE MAN WHO WOULD BE KING Caine and Connery up to no good. Christmas Day, BBC2, 12.55pm THE MANY FACES OF ALISON STEADMAN Dec 24, BBC2, 9.55pm MIRANDA She’s the female Tommy Cooper, the 21st century Norman Wisdom. Christmas special, Dec 20, BBC2, 8.30pm MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL Hilarious (eg: dancing mice in Hawaiian shirts) - and manages to convey the spirit of the story. Michael Caine gives one of his best performances. Christmas Day, Channel 4, 8.50am NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN Javier Bardem is a terrifying killer and Josh Brolin a chancer who should never have gone back to the crime scene in Coen Brothers’ classic, Boxing Day, Film 4, 9pm PEEP SHOW Documentary, new episode, and viewers’ favourite episodes (Jeremy’s magic mushroom party and Mark’s wedding). Christmas Eve, Channel 4, from 9pm. The final episode of the latest series is on New Year’s Eve, Channel 4, 10pm THE RAILWAY CHILDREN Starring the Keighley Worth Valley railway in a genuine tear-jerker. Boxing Day, ITV1, 12.15pm RED RIDING Ho-ho-ho! Christmas cheer in which noble coppers are overwhelmed by brutal murders, corruption and bleak West Yorkshire housing estates. Top acting, compelling, but tough to watch. Part 1 – Dec 21, More4, 10pm, Part 2 – Dec 22, More 4, 10pm. Part 3 – Dec 23, More 4, 10pm THE REMAINS OF THE DAY Anthony Hopkins as Stevens the butler who looks back at his life of service and his lost love. Hopkins is superb as the uptight servant who hints in a suppressed sob that he may just have wasted his whole life. Christmas Day, Channel 5, 4.25pm THE ROYLE FAMILY A rare duff episode last Christmas. Let’s hope this year’s matches the Tom Courtenay ‘Bar-bear-a’ one of two years ago. Christmas Day, BBC1, 9pm SHOOTING STARS Christmas special with Ronnie Wood, Dec 30, BBC2, 10pm SPIRITED AWAY Fantastic dream-like Japanese animation about a little girl who has to deal with a house of spirits after her parents are turned into pigs. Talking heads, underwater trains and giant sludge monsters. Dec 21, BBC2, 10.40am STEVE COOGAN AS ALAN PARTRIDGE AND OTHER LESS SUCCESSFUL CHARACTERS From his last live tour, in 2008, when he got a bit of a hammering from the critics. TOAST Based on Nigel Slater’s autobiography. Dec 30, BBC2, 9pm TOM JONES AT THE BBC Sir Leather Lungs rips it up, especially in the late 60s, in this compilation of his BBC performances. Includes bizarre Jim’ll Fix It episode. Dec 18, BBC4, 11.45pm WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE LIKELY LADS? 1974 Christmas special. Boxing Day, Channel Five, 9pm WHEN HARVEY MET BOB D Drama about how Bob Geldof and Harvey Goldsmith pulled off Live Aid. Boxing Day, BBC2, 9.15pm WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? Bob Hoskins holds his own with a host of toon greats, from Betty Boop to Bugs. Boxing Day, BBC1, 9.45am YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN ‘It’s FrankenSTEEN!’ Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman are hilarious in this spoof of 30s horror films. Christmas Day, Film 4, 11.35pm <a href="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Columnists/Columnists/2009/12/3/1259865875262/Radio-Times-Christmas-cov-006.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Media/Columnists/Columnists/2009/12/3/1259865875262/Radio-Times-Christmas-cov-006.jpg" style="display: block; height: 250px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 363px;" /></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">BEST OF CHRISTMAS TV 2009</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 09: For the second year running there are no Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films, especially galling as virtually every other adaptation of Holmes is on over Christmas. Highlights on Freeview - Steve Coogan and Victoria Wood nights, Oliver Postgate documentary, a new Day of the Triffids and, of course, Tennant's last hurrah in Dr Who.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">BLACK BOOKS:</span> First two episodes of comedy series starring miserable bookshop owner played by Dylan Moran and his gormless assistants Bill Bailey and Tamsin Greig. New Year's Eve, 9.35pm and 11.05pm. A bit of a Graham Linehan night, he co-wrote this and Father Ted and IT Crowd which are also on E4 on New Year's Eve. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A CHILD'S CHRISTMASES IN WALES:</span> Inspired by a Dylan Thomas story, set in the 1980s, and starring Ruth Jones. December 24, BBC4, 7.15pm and December 30, BBC2, 5.30pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">AN ENGLISHMAN IN NEW YORK:</span> John Hurt returns as Quentin Crisp, 34 years after he appeared as Crisp in The Naked Civil Servant. A very un-ITV programme these days. December 28, ITV1, 9pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">BACKBEAT:</span> Terrific recreation of The Beatles' early years in Germany with Stuart Sutcliffe. Ian Hart steals the show as John Lennon. December 27, Film 4, 10.55pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">BLADE RUNNER:</span> The version director Ridley Scott wanted which I think means no happy ending. December 19, BBC1, 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">BUZZCOCKS DR WHO SPECIAL:</span> It's a very Tennanty Christmas this year. Besides this and you know what, his Hamlet is showing and he's on Alan Carr's chat show. Catherine Tate and Bernard Cribbins are also on Buzzcocks - cue Right said Fred question for Mr Cribbins. December 22, BBC2, 9.30pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">CHARLIE BROOKER'S SCREENWIPE:</span> Review of the year from Mr Angry (but is he mellowing now he's getting more famous?) December 22, BBC4, 10.30pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS:</span> This looks promising - new version of John Wyndham's tale about killer plants who thrive when most of humanity goes blind. Good cast - Dougray Scott, Joely Richardson, Eddie Izzard, Brian Cox, Vanessa Redgrave, Ewen Bremner. December 28, BBC1, 9pm. Part 2 on December 29, BBC1, 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">DR WHO:</span> So no more wide-eyed cheekiness and nonchalance from Mr Tennant. It's a showdown with the Master (John Simm), starting on Christmas Day and ending on New Year's Day, and then it's the young fella's turn. Even though it's Christmas, let's hope Tennant and Simm rein in the ham when they perform. No Daleks and Cybermen in the cast list (I couldn't spot Derek Dalek and Sir Terry Cyberman), although a Dalek is on the front cover of the Radio Times and if it's a big ending for Tennant, one or both surely has to be on. Christmas Day, BBC1, 6pm. New Year's Day, BBC1, 6.40pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE EAGLE HAS LANDED:</span> The Nazis infiltrate a Norfolk village to kidnap Winston Churchill. Terrific. December 20, BBC2, 4.50pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">ELF:</span> Voted favourite Christmas film by Twitter followers of Binky the Doormat (see link, right), I've never seen this as star Will Ferrell has that 'I'm hilarious' Chevy Chase air. Christmas Day, Film 4, 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">ENCOUNTERS AT THE END OF THE WORLD:</span> The great Werner Herzog on scientists in the Antarctic. December 22, More4, 10pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">FATHER TED: </span>A Christmassy Ted - underwear and Unctious. It's become a Christmas staple and deservedly so. Plenty of Ted on E4 over Christmas. December 20, Channel 4, 10.20pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE FATTEST MAN IN BRITAIN:</span> Co-written by Caroline Aherne and starring Timothy Spall and Bobby Ball, yes Bobby Ball, one of the funniest men alive. I saw him hit Sooty at a Bradford panto after the puppet had been taking the piss. "He was aggravating me Tommy," he told his comic parner Cannon. Anyway Bobby is Morris Morrissey (!) who becomes fatman Timothy Spall's agent when the big fella becomes famous. December 20, ITV1, 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE GOOD LIFE:</span> Oh Margot! Christmas special. December 24, BBC2, 7.30pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">GREAT RAILWAY JOURNEYS:</span> With Alexei Sayle. New Year's Eve, BBC2, 9am <span style="font-weight: bold;">HAIRY BIKERS' 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS:</span> Hurrah for the cheery duo, who also make perfect Reeves and Mortimer characters. They're my favourite TV chefs, just ahead of Jamie and Nigella. December 21, BBC2, 6pm. Nigella's on BBC1 half an hour after the Bikers. Jamie's on Christmas Eve, on C4 from 4.10pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE INCREDIBLES:</span> Pixar's tale about superhero family. Christmas Day, BBC1, 3.10pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE ITALIAN JOB:</span> Bloody doors and Benny Hill (and Michael Caine). New Year's Day, Channel 4, 7.05pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">MORECAMBE AND WIDE CHRISTMAS SHOW:</span> 1973, with Rudolf Nearenough. Boxing Day, BBC2, 9.10pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL:</span> The best Muppet film and arguably the best Christmas Carol film. December 21, Channel 5, 4.25pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">MURDER BY DECREE: </span>The best of the Holmes films/TV series over the festive period. Christopher Plummer is a suitably equine Holmes, James Mason an amiable Watson and there's heaps of atmosphere as the duo take on Jack the Ripper. Part of ITV3's Holmes Weekend which includes loads of Jeremy Brett, supposedly the best Holmes, but I always think he looks like he's sitting on a pencil. December 19, ITV3, 9pm and December 20, ITV3, 11pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">NOT THE NINE O'CLOCK NEWS NIGHT:</span> Sketch show that links Monty Python and Spitting Image and showcased the talents of Rowan Atkinson and its team of writers. Documentary followed by an edition of the show. May have dated though. December 28, BBC2, 9pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">OLIVER POSTGATE - A LIFE IN SMALL FILMS:</span> Deserved tribute to a unique talent. Ivor the Engine always takes me back to childhood winter tea-times in front of a coal fire. December 22, BBC4, 8pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES:</span> Christmas specials from 2001, 2002 and 2003 on consecutive afternoons from December 21 on BBC1, starting with the one where they've made their money. December 21, BBC1, 1.45pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">PEEP SHOW:</span> Series 5 on E4 on December 26 from 9pm. Series 6 is on December 27 on the same channel from 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE REMAINS OF THE DAY:</span> Stiff upper-lippery is nice, but stiff upper-lippery can stop you from doing all the things you want to do. Anthony Hopkins gives his best performance as devoted butler in 1930s and 40s England. Emma Thompson is great too (what's happened to her?) December 27, Channel 5, 3.15pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">ROMANCING THE STONE:</span> Uptight author meets rude adventurer on dangerous trip. Kathleen Turner is superb in this comedy drama. New Year's Eve, Channel 4, 1.05pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE ROYLE FAMILY:</span> Last year's Christmas special was superb ('Bar-bear-a') and not given enough praise, probably because it was overshadowed by its predecessor about the death of Nan. Christmas Day, BBC1, 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE RULES OF FILM NOIR:</span> Documentary followed by several noir classics over Christmas. December 24, BBC2, 12.55am. Build My Gallows High is on December 27, BBC2, 1.50am. Farewell My Lovely is on December 28, BBC2, 1.45am. Dead Reckoning is on December 29, BBC2, 1.40am. Crossfire, January 2, BBC2, 1.40am <span style="font-weight: bold;">SOME LIKE IT HOT:</span> New Year's Day, ITV1, 12.30pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">STELLA STREET:</span> Film based on Cornwell and Sessions' impressions, worth it for the Rolling Stone cornershop. Boxing Day, BBC2, 2.30am. <span style="font-weight: bold;">STEVE COOGAN NIGHT:</span> Documentary, followed by Alan Partridge Christmas special, and two Partridge-in-a-hotel episodes. Rest of this series is being shown before New Year. December 27, BBC2, from 9pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE STORY OF SLAPSTICK:</span> Documentary, from Chaplin to Bottom. Crying out for a season of Laurel and Hardy films to follow - another childhood Christmas staple that's disappeared. Boxing Day, BBC2, 11.15pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THIS IS SPINAL TAP: </span>Ice, fire, lukewarm water. New Year's Day, Dave, midnight and 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">VICTORIA WOOD NIGHT:</span> Starting with a 90-minute sketch show compilation, followed by her 2000 Christmas special and an episode of Dinnerladies. The sketches are still great but Dinnerladies has dated badly. December 21, BBC2, from 8.30pm. A new Christmas show is on Christmas Eve, BBC1, 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">WALLACE AND GROMIT: </span>All their films are on over Christmas, starting with Curse of the Were Rabbit. Boxing Day, BBC1, 4.40pm. A Matter of Loaf and Death is on December 28, BBC1, 7pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE WICKER MAN:</span> The most shocking ending to a film ever and one of the late Edward Woodward's greatest performances. December 30, ITV4, 10pm. <a href="http://www.allcreditmedia.com/thereelmonty/main-graphic-no-monty.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.allcreditmedia.com/thereelmonty/main-graphic-no-monty.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 486px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 415px;" /></a> <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SHEFFIELD 1972: THE MOVIE</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">May 09: Remember the jolly publicity film for Sheffield at the start of The Full Monty? Well it's part of 'City On The Move', made by Sheffield Council in 1972, which extols the virtues of one of my favourite cities.</span> Those were the days when all the new housing, now tired and forlorn, looked smart and cheerful, when a huge polo mint roundabout, with its own fishtank, was an attraction, when the Fiesta nightclub was the largest in Europe and attracted Swedish 'tourists', and when the steel, cutlery and snuff industries were still going strong. The film looks to be part of a Sheffield tradition of doing something different, from the Olympic-sized swimming pool to the train station fountain, and it also reminds you what a green and pleasant city it was, and is. It has come creaky Mr Chumley-Warner moments and is a bit all over the place thematically but it's a wonderful film.
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<li><a href="http://sheffieldblog.com/2009/03/03/sheffield-city-on-the-move-film/">The film (Thanks to Rich who found this on Sheffield Blog)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.thereelmonty.com/">The film's available to buy here.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">OLIVER POSTGATE RIP</span><br />
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<li><a href="http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fDWk0BCeblQ">The first episode of Ivor the Engine</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdVzO88OUhY">The last episode</a></li>
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 08: Under Milk Wood with talking trains and singing dragons, lovely. Sounds like Mr Postgate was a smashing fella, too. His programmes were gentle, funny and surreal.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">No homogenised dancing puppets</span>. <span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CHRISTMAS FILMS AND TV 2008</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 08: The Christmas Radio Times is finally out, half a week after its competitors, but it's still the best - the layout's so much better. So here are my highlights to remind me what's on - a new Doctor and a new type of Cyberman, Billy Liar film couple reunited in the Royle Family, a new Wallace and Gromit, a good selection of Carry Ons and a documentary about the reopening of the York-Beverley train line (wa-hey), but no Basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes films.</span> <span style="font-weight: bold;">AFFINITY</span> Adapation of creepy Sarah Waters novel, ITV1, December 28, 9pm. TV remake of 39 Steps is on BBC1 at roughly the same time. <span style="font-weight: bold;">A STUDY IN SHERLOCK</span> An examination of the various portrayals of Sherlock Holmes (but no Basil Rathbone films) BBC2, December 30, 10.40pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">BEECHING'S TRACKS</span> A campaign to reopen the Beverley to York rail line. BBC4, December 23, 8.30pm. A new programme followed by a repeat, Ian Hislop Goes Off the Rails, where the mole-y satirist looks at the Beeching Report. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> CARRY ON FILMS</span> Mainly early ones on three different channels <span style="font-style: italic;">Carry on Behind:</span> This is a vastly underrated Carry On. Elke Sommer gets into the spirit of things as a Russian archaeologist with plenty of mistranslated double entrendres ('How are you doings?') allowing her colleague Kenneth Williams to pull plenty of double takes. Windsor Davies and Jack Douglas ('Hernest') are good too, C4, December 29, 12.20pm <span style="font-style: italic;">Carry On Cleo:</span> I can't remember this one apart from 'Infamy, infamy...' and a stunning Amanda Barrie, ITV1, New Year's Eve, 11.25am<span style="font-style: italic;"> Carry On Cowboy:</span> The Rumpo Kid is terrorising Stodge City. A good 'un, Hawtrey's on top form as drunken Big Heap. Blazing Saddles used some of the same plot, ITV1, December 30, 12.55pm <span style="font-style: italic;">Carry On Follow That Camel:</span> Phil Silvers reprises his Bilko role in uneasy mix with the Carry On crew, BBC1, Boxing Day, 1.40am <span style="font-style: italic;">Carry On Girls</span> Sid James organises a beauty contest, June Whitfield is a feminist objector, Kenneth Connor is hilarious as her nasal-voiced hubbie and Jack Douglas walks into a hotel and out again wa-heying and twitching all the way. January 2, BBC1, 12.10am <span style="font-style: italic;">Carry On Jack:</span> I can't remember this one at all. Bernard Cribbins in the lead and only Williams, Hawtrey and Dale among the regulars, ITV1, December 29, 11am. <span style="font-style: italic;">Carry On Screaming:</span> Frying tonight with Fenella Fielding, ITV1, January 2, 12.55pm <span style="font-weight: bold;"> CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG</span> Our fine old faithful friend, ITV1, New Year's Eve, 3.45pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">CON AIR/HONEYMOON IN VEGAS</span> Nicholas Cage double bill. In the first, he's a 'good' prisoner facing a horde of hammy villains on a plane led by Sirus the Virus John Malkovich. BBC1, December 23, 10.35pm In the second film, he ups the goofiness to almost intolerable levels when James Caan wins his wife in a card game, 12.25am Cage is also in Snake Eyes on BBC1, December 20, 11.40pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">DA KATH AND KIM CODE</span> I've only two words to say to you: Feature-length Xmas version of chirpy Aussie mum and her lemon-faced daughter, BBC2, New Year's Day, 2.15am (yes am and it's more than two words) <span style="font-weight: bold;"> DOCTOR WHO</span> David Morrissey is another doctor with another Tardis who joins forces with Tennant to fight Cybermen and Dervla Kirwan (dribble) in Victorian London. The Cybermen had their arses kicked by a Dalek last time out so this time we're promised faster, deadlier Cybershades. Meanwhile Morrissey is fave to become the new Doc after Tennant's next four specials, BBC1, Christmas Day, 6pm <span style="font-weight: bold;"> THE EAGLE HAS LANDED</span> Undercover Germans plot to kill Winston Churchill in an English village. Surprisingly convincing. One of the Germans is Michael Caine, BBC2, December 28, 1.50pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">FATHER TED</span> Lingerie departments, Golden Cleric, Father Todd Unctious. C4, December 22, 10pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">HARRY HILL'S TV BURP REVIEW OF THE YEAR </span>Fight! ITV1, Boxing Day, 7pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">HIDDEN</span> French thriller about a couple who discover someone is filming them, C4, December 20, 11.35pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">HITCHCOCK</span> Concentrating on his 1940s films: <span style="font-style: italic;">Notorious:</span> Ingrid Bergman has to spy on the Nazis, BBC2, December 29, 11.40am <span style="font-style: italic;">Spellbound:</span> Amnesiac Gregory Peck's troubled past, BBC2, New Year's Eve, 10.20am <span style="font-style: italic;">Suspicion:</span> There's something fishy about Cary Grant, BBC2, December 29, 10.05am <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wrong Man:</span> Henry Fonda ain't done the crime, BBC2, January 2, 1.15pm <span style="font-weight: bold;"> IT CROWD</span> The whole of the second series. E4, New Year's Day, 9pm. Last in third series, C4, Boxing Day, 9.50pm. <b>HOWL'S MOVING CASTLE</b> Magical Japanese animation about a walking castle and a girl trying to break a magic spell, December 28, BBC2, 10.05am <span style="font-weight: bold;"> IT'S A MAD, MAD, MAD WORLD </span>Probably the best of the all-star wacky race/caper movies, allowing all its various comedians to shine. This also has a decent plot about a plan to find gold. It features the magnificent Terry Thomas, plus Spencer Tracy, Phil Silvers, Sid Caesar, Buster Keaton and the Three Stooges among others, Five, Boxing Day, 1.25pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;">JONATHAN CREEK </span>A one-off return for the mop-haired investigator. Slightly contrived plots, but watchable. BBC1, New Year's Day, 9pm. <span style="font-weight: bold;"> MORECAMBE AND WISE 1975 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL</span> With Diana Rigg and Des O'Connor, BBC2, Boxing Day, 9.30pm <span style="font-weight: bold;"> PEEP SHOW</span> The whole of the post-wedding series five, E4, December 27, 10pm. People who got this for Christmas will be pissed off. <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE ROYLE FAMILY </span>They reckon they can top the Nana episode of two years ago. This year they leave the front room to have Christmas dinner at Denise's. Tom Courtenay and Helen Fraser playing Dave's parents. They were Billy Liar and his soppy fiancee in the film (discussing their cottage in Undercliffe Cemetery) <span style="font-weight: bold;"> SCHOOL OF ROCK</span> Jack Black's a music teacher in a posh school, Film 4, December 27, 6.50pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">SEABISCUIT</span> Old nag, crap jockey, amazing wins, true story. BBC2, December 23, 4.50pm <span style="font-weight: bold;"> SEXY BEAST</span> Ben 'Gandhi' Kingsley's the hardest man ever and Ian 'Lovejoy' McShane's not far behind, leaving Ray 'Nil by Mouth' Winston looking like a quivering prune. Film 4, New Year's Day, 11pm <span style="font-weight: bold;"> SHOOTING STARS</span> A documentary and a new show - no Vegas, Self or Lamarr, though. Bob wants to do another Big Night Out, yes! BBC2, December 30, 9pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">SUPERMAN RETURNS</span> A new Superman that picks up after the Superman 2 Reeve original (defeating Terence Stamp and other baddies). Kevin Spacey is Lex Luthor. BBC1, December 29, 8.30pm <span style="font-weight: bold;"> SURVIVORS</span> Last in the series where a a flu virus kills most folk. As Thatcher dreamed, there is no such thing as society and it's every person for themselves. This has been an absorbing series where the tension never drops. But what happens the tinned food and petrol run out? <span style="font-weight: bold;"> TIGER BAY </span>Girl hides murderer in this 1959 thriller set in Cardiff. December 30, BBC2, 11.55am <span style="font-weight: bold;"> WALLACE AND GROMIT: A MATTER OF LOAF AND DEATH </span>New plasticine action. My memories of W&G have been forever sullied by a Viz cartoon where Wallace accidentally invents a wanking machine and in the last frame of a cartoon, he shouts to Gromit: 'Cracking toss eh Gromit?' BBC1, Christmas Day, 8.30pm. All the other Wallace and Gromits are on over Christmas, including Curse of the Were Rabbit, BBC1, Christmas Day, 4.30pm <span style="font-weight: bold;">YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN</span> It's Franken-steen! Mel Brooks/Gene Wilder/Marty Feldman, New Year's Day, BBC4, 12.25am <span style="font-weight: bold;">THE YOUNG ONES</span> 'Gives us some easy questions Bambi you bottom burp', BBC2, December 27, 11pm. Part of a University Challenge night, including James McAvoy in the aimiable film Starter for 10. <b>WETHERSPOON'S HOLMFIRTH UPDATE</b> <b>Oct 07: Company won't submit new plan after opposition from a council and residents</b> <b><span style="font-size: 130%;">WETHERSPOON'S WANTS HOLMFIRTH CINEMA</span></b> <b>Feb 2007: Wetherspoon's application to convert Holmfirth Picturedrome into a pub has been turned down.</b> But cinema owner Peter Carr is to stop showing films in March and only have gigs. He cites poor attendances. The Picturedrome (formerly the Holme Valley Cinema) was opened in 1913 by the Balmforth family of Holmfirth, the famous picture postcard/film-making pioneers. The cinema became a bingo hall in 1967 and was reopened as a cinema in 1998. Current owner Peter Carr stopped the nightly film shows last year, blaming poor audiences and increased costs and launched a fundraising drive to keep the cinema open. He won a lottery grant to keep showing films but told the Huddersfield Examiner he would have to match the £18,000 lottery grant on offer. The Picturedrome is a bit of flea pit to be honest and doesn't have the charm of the Hyde Park or Cottage in Leeds and seems to be concentrating on gigs more than films now, but it's a shame to see these small cinemas close, especially as it would be about 10 miles to Huddersfield's identikit multiplex. As for Wetherspoon's, after starting as a bit of an underdog with its championing of real ale, late food, no music/TV and some beautiful building conversions, it is fast becoming the Darth Vader/Tesco of pub chains as befits a company at the beck and call of quickbuck-loving shareholders. Incidentally, the first films to be shown in 1913 were That Awful Pipe, A Court Intrigue, and Betrayed by a Kiss. That Awful Pipe sounds intriguing - perhaps it featured a heavily moustachioed man with a vast briar pipe clamped between his lips. He falls asleep and the pipe belches out smoke which drifts out of a window. A moustachioed passer-by (probably wearing a hat) points and a caption appears on screen: "Fire!" The fire brigade of moustachioed buffoons are called (cue tinkly piano music and much falling over hosepipes) until the pipe smoker wakes up and asks his wife (caption: "What's up?"). His wife (no moustache) says (caption): "That awful pipe." and beats him over the head with a rolling pin (with comedy sound-effects). According to Internet Movie Database, the film was directed by Bert Haldane who directed dozens of other silent films between 1910 and 1920 including the intringuely titled Peter Tries Suicide (he obviously didn't try very hard because there appears to be a sequel called Peter Pens Poetry). And how about Polly the Girl Scout and Grandpa's Medals, then there's Allan Field's Warning, the thrilling Luggage in Advance, the equally diverting When Paths Diverge and the unfortunately titled The Child and The Fiddler? George Formby made his film debut at the age of 10 in a Haldane-helmed 1915 film By the Shortest of Heads (according to the George Formby website) Info: Huddersfield Examiner/Holmfirth Picturedrome/Internet Movie Database. Pic: BBC <a href="http://http//images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004CXT1.02._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1072777720_.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00004CXT1.02._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1072777720_.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">GREAT SCREEN SNIVELLERS</span> Word magazine has produced a list of tearjerkers in films - Cyrano De Bergerac, One Good Turn, Butch Cassidy, Brief Encounter - but I reckoned they've missed some classics:</b> <b>1 BRASSED OFF</b> A coal mining town's brass band is in the UK brass band final but the pits are about to close and conductor Danny (Pete Postlethwaite) appears to have twirled his last baton - he's in hospital coughing up phlegm the consistency of tar. It's late at night and as Danny lies in his hospital bed he hears a brass band playing Danny Boy. The nurse opens the curtains and there's the band outside the hospital. (I'm not crying, I've got some dust in my eye!) <b>2 THE ELEPHANT MAN</b> After years of beatings and ridicule, our hero has been rescued by a kindly couple, been given a suit to wear and is sitting in a posh drawing room when Susannah York hands him a cup of tea and he says: "You've...all..been..schoh..kind." (I'm not crying, it's my sinuses!) <b>3 SIDEWAYS</b> Paul Giamatti's character is describing his favourite wine, which is just like him - fragile, needs a lot of care etc when Virginia Madsen's character puts his hand on his and he takes it away (NO!!!!) Later he meets his ex-wife at his pal's wedding and she tells him he's pregnant. He puts on a brave face then drinks his best wine in a shitty take-away. (I'm not crying, a fly flew into my eye!) <b>4 RAILWAY CHILDREN</b> One of Word's readers (Jon Peake, not THE Jon Peake from Newton-le-Willows, surely?) mentions the "Daddy, my daddy" scene at the end of the film when Iain Cuthertson emerges from the train smoke. But there are also the scenes where Jenny Agutter gets her birthday presents and where Jenny and the rest of the kids buy station master Bernard Cribbins his presents. There is extra guilt about..er.. eye watering during this film, as the kids are such poshos, protected from the fact that their Dad's being banged up and living in "reduced circumstances" - a whacking great country house overlooking fields and a railway line. <b>5 THE FULL MONTY</b> (The great) Lesley Sharp thinks screen hubby Mark Addy's been playing away when she finds a racy thong. He tells her he was going to be a stripper but decided against it 'cos he's too fat. "Who wants to see this?" he points to his body. "I do," she says, looking at him with her big soulful eyes. (Onions, is someone peeling onions?)
<li><a href="http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/">Word survey</a></li>
Picture: Amazon <a href="http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00005U0HY.02.LZZZZZZZ"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://images-eu.amazon.com/images/P/B00005U0HY.02.LZZZZZZZ" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a> <span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>NORTHERN </b><b>FILM LOCATIONS</b></span> <b>Billy Liar (1963):</b> Tom Courtenay is a daydream believer in fibs and fantasies as he drifts around Baildon, Bradford, Ilkley Moor and Manchester and can't leave even when Julie Christie swings her duffel bag at him ("Mr Shaddy-addy-rack"). <b>Hell is a City (1960):</b> Grim Up North Noir with Stanley Baker as a copper so hard-boiled he's been left in the pan for a week. Everyone smokes. Trains stop at GMEX. Levenshulme, East Didsbury, Huddersfield, Medlock, Burnage, Withington and Oldham are the other locations. <b>Kes (1969):</b> "And it's the slightly balding Bobby Charlton for Manchester Eweunited". Hawking in Barnsley. <b>A Kind of Loving (1962):</b> Alan Bates throws up on Thora Hird's carpet. Thora, in Dame Edna glasses, calls him a pig. Steep park where he gets Thora's daughter pregnant is in north Manchester, also Preston, Stockport, Salford. <b>Taste of Honey (1961):</b> More unwanted pregnancy in Salford, Manchester, Blackpool and London. Morrissey-esque. Lovely shot of old Barton Bridge. <b>This Sporting Life (1963):</b> Set in the snot, gristle and mud of Wakefield rugby league. Big time Charlie undone by love of a widow. NEW <b>My Summer of Love (2004):</b> Lass from the town meets young lady from the big house for romps in a place where the sun always shines - Todmorden. They also cause a bit of a stir at the Ritz Ballroom, in Brighouse. Paddy Considine plays the scariest Christian ever. Location info:
<li><a href="http://www.reelstreets.com/">from Reel Streets</a></li>
Picture: Amazon <a href="http://www3.telus.net/public/nixonkg/hell%20is%20a%20city%20poster.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www3.telus.net/public/nixonkg/hell%20is%20a%20city%20poster.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>VAL GUEST 1911-2006</b></span> <b>The London-born director and writer, who died at the age of 94 on May 10, started his career co-writing films for bumbling maestro Will Hay in the 1930s and ended it directing Hammer House of Mystery and Suspense shows for TV nearly 50 years later. In between, he directed and co-wrote two classics: Hell is a City (Manc film noir) and The Day the Earth Caught Fire (sweaty journos discover Earth is heading into the sun), as well as taking charge of the first two Quatermass films.</b> Guest also directed Confessions of a Window Cleaner (Robin Askwith drives women wild even though he looks like Jilly Cooper in drag), 14 films for Hammer (including The Abominable Snowman and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth) and episodes of The Persuaders and Space 1999. His father and mother divorced when he was a child but his father told young Val she had died. Even when he found out she was alive, he didn't tell his father and saw his mother in secret. After bit parts in a few films in 1932/3, Guest became UK correspondent for the Hollywood Reporter. He slagged off a 1932 Bela Lugosi film, saying he could write a better script. The film's director, Marcel Varnel, took him up on his boast and that's how Guest started co-writing seven films for Will Hay, including Oh Mr Porter. He co-wrote Ghost Train (1941), from the play by Arnold (Private Godfrey) Ridley, a creepy film about closed train lines and strange train noises, ruined by annoying Arthur Askey who wears a ludicrous hat and never stops jabbering. Guest also hated him, calling him Big Headed Arthur Askey, but after taking charge of a Ministry of Information film about the dangers of sneezing (colds spreading among ammunition factory workers), he made his directing debut with Askey in 1943 in Miss London Ltd, about an escort agency. It probably wasn't that kind of agency, although, you never know - "A handjob Arthur?" "Well stone me!" Guest married in 1955 and in the same year wrote the screenplay and directed the Quatermass Experiment about an astronaut who turns into an alien on returning to Earth, and Quatermass 2 (1957) about gas-type aliens taking over humans in a sinister food factory. Expresso Bongo (1959) features Cliff (Hi guys) Richard as pop star Bert Rudge. Guest supposedly came up with the name The Shadows for Cliff's group in the film. It's one of Guest's favourites along with Hell in a City (1960), The Day the Earth Caught Fire (1961), Jigsaw (1962 - Jack 'Dixon of Dock Green' Warner investigates murder in seedy Brighton) and Mr Drake's Duck (1950 - duck lays radioactive egg). In 1967, Guest was one of five directors on psychedelic, all-star James Bond shambles Casino Royale. He had tipped off the producers of the 'proper' Bond series about Sean Connery earlier in the decade. Confessions...was his biggest hit of the seventies and he ended his film career in 1982 with The Boys in Blue, a reworking of a Will Hay film starring Cannon and Ball. Biographical details from: Guardian, Indepdendent, BFI and Internet Movie Database. <a href="http://www.lebowskifest.com/images/austin06banner.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.lebowskifest.com/images/austin06banner.jpg" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">THE BIG LEBOWSKI</span></b> <i>The Dude abides</i> One of the best films ever - or great two films in one, as hilarious hippy leftover and his dopey mates get involved in a twisty kidnapping plot. It's hard to find a duff scene or character in this - the Dude listening to bowling sounds on a tape, the nihilists and the marmoset in the bath (Give us the money Lebowski), John Turturro in his cameo as Jesus (Don't fxxx with the Jesus), John Goodman getting increasingly angry and relating everything to Vietnam (A world of pain, Shut the fxxx up Donny), David Thewlis as a whinnying friend of the Lebowski heiress, and Philip Seymour Hoffman as a Smithers-like aide (We're all very fond of her) They even have Lebowski Festivals in America (see banner)with people dressing up as bowling balls and competitions to chuck bags of underwear. Great site, including copy of the script: <a href="http://www.lebowskifest.com/"><img alt="Lebowski Fest - an event honoring The Big Lebowski." border="0" src="http://www.lebowskifest.com/images/lebowskifestlink.gif" height="135" width="97" /></a>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-86832500817308742232014-07-04T09:32:00.000+01:002014-07-04T12:42:05.965+01:00TOUR DE FRANCE PUB GUIDEFancy a pub crawl along the Yorkshire Tour de France route? Here's a guide in my magazine, Barmcake.<br />
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Barmcake provides northern entertainment for the middle-aged. I feel there is nothing out there to cater for a man or woman of a certain age who likes particular music, comedy, pubs, plays, exhibitions and books. <br />
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I was fed up of reading free mags with editorial dumped in with no attempt to attract the reader. I wanted to bring together all the interesting stuff on performers and venues’ websites, some of it well-known, some of it not, add interviews and striking photographs, and write features that can’t be read anywhere else.<br />
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I also wanted to attract readers who live, say, in Leeds, and travel to shows in Manchester and Sheffield. It’s not as if the cities are 200 miles away from each other, yet websites and magazines tend to stick to their patches.<br />
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I didn’t want all this to be lost on yet another website, cluttered with links and dowdy Google keyword headlines. I didn’t want the articles to appear in an over-designed, sub-NME magazine, with acres of six-point text you have to squint at, or in the sort of lifestyle mag I saw recently, where the main feature was a youth reviewing his breakfast.<br />
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To find out more go to <a href="http://barmcakemag.tumblr.com/">Barmcake magazine</a><br />
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Click on pages to read. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d8ivxEM4dAU/U7aQiwdO0aI/AAAAAAAAAFY/PD84cM4FEjI/s1600/Barmcake+page011.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d8ivxEM4dAU/U7aQiwdO0aI/AAAAAAAAAFY/PD84cM4FEjI/s400/Barmcake+page011.jpeg" /></a></div>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1142198721458559732014-02-17T01:00:00.000+00:002014-10-20T09:11:06.231+01:00RUGBY LEAGUE<span style="font-size: large;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>RUGBY LEAGUE'S EXTRAORDINARY SEASON</b></span><br />
After months of ominous silence by rugby league's rulers that threatened to deflate the ballooning optimism that built up during the world cup, suddenly the sport is back with a spring in its step. <br />
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First of all a quality sponsor for Super League, First Utility, an underdog energy firm taking on the big boys in the same way that rugby league fights for attention in the sporting world (thanks goodness the sponsor's not a cash loan site). <br />
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Secondly, a large slice of Sky pie, giving Super League clubs a 63 per cent increase in funds. Shame the BBC don't get the odd Saturday afternoon game, but hey-ho.<br />
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Thirdly and most importantly of all, relegation is back, with two clubs going down at the end of this season, and promotion returns next season with the top two leagues of 12 splitting into threes league of eight during 2015. Great ideas - making the Super League stronger and making the Championship teams fight in more than one game for a place in the top league.<br />
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Five of the 14 championship sides will be relegated at the end of this season to prepare for next season which will no doubt make most games absolutely do or die.<br />
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Add the all-new Salford Red Devils, it promises to be a corker of a season. Wigan v Saints grand final, London and Bradford to go down. Leeds to win the cup. Fev to win the Champ big one.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Playing The Joker, West Yorkshire Playhouse</span></b><br />
Eddie Waring may have been loved by millions, but he spent a lot of his time in the late 70s holed up in the Queens Hotel, Leeds, because of the abuse he received from some rugby league fans who felt he was a bit of a northern Uncle Tom.<br />
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Playwright Anthony Clavane imagines an encounter with Waring and a younger man at the hotel who feels the commentator has sold out and forgotten his roots.<br />
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It's a fascinating play about the price of success and how you have to lose yourself to please the bosses. Dickon Ashworth is an uncanny Eddie lookalike (once he puts the Waring wig on) while William Fox almost steals the show as the twitchy young man grieving for his dad. Dominic Gately as Eddie's minder is also good. The violence of parts of the play is a little at odds with the humour but it doesn't spoil the whole show.<br />
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<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQQZ4aya3n2t4O1rqW0SVR1LOTiwpM8G8ZfpGblEAO3VdtoVA-csw" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQQZ4aya3n2t4O1rqW0SVR1LOTiwpM8G8ZfpGblEAO3VdtoVA-csw" /></a><br />
It's the eve of the eve of the <b>Rugby League World Cup</b> <b>semi-finals</b> and I'm getting nervous.<br />
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Here at last are an England team who have the skill and creativity to challenge the two best sides in the world. They've reached the semi-final, the bare minimum for this tournament, but now face the wrecking ball New Zealanders who've looked the best side in the tournament so far.<br />
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Fair play to Steve McNamara, he's endured huge pressure yet his tactics and choice of players have largely worked. The much maligned Chase can feel a little unlucky to be omitted from the squad for the semi. and Widdop has yet to prove himself for England in this tournament, but McNamara has at least selected Burrow and Roby in his 19.<br />
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I've seen five games live, all superb - from the nervous tension surrounding England v Australia, the thudding tackles at a raucous Rochdale, and Tonga/Scotland joy at a packed Fax. Scotland were fantastic and Wales were unfortunate to face the surprise hits of the tournament, Italy and the US.<br />
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The only downside is the disappointing number of live games on the BBC and the lack of pubs showing the games on Premier Sports. No pubs in Huddersfield, the birthplace of rugby league, will be showing the Aus semi on TV this Saturday.<br />
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<b>Interesting play at West Yorkshire Playhouse this week - Playing the Joker, a celebration of Eddie Waring, rugby league and what is means to be from Yorkshire (until November 23, from 6pm) by Anthony Clavane<br />
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<b>WORLD CUP PREVIEW </b><br />
It's here - what promises to be one of the greatest <b>rugby league world cups</b> and a home nation's best chance to win it.<br />
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Why a great tournament? Aus, Nz and England all look tasty. Fiji, PNG and Tonga look to offer the strongest Pacific Nations challenge in a cup for a while and Wales and Scotland are looking good. Even the so-called underdogs, like US and Italy, look to offer a challenge in what promises one of the most competitive world cups.<br />
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And stadiums in Cardiff, Wembley, Old Trafford, Huddersfield, Halifax, Rochdale, Warrington and Workington all expect decent and possibly record crowds.<br />
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Why England? A formidable pack, many of them honed in Aus, world-class centres, wings and full-back.<br />
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Why not England? Half-backs and kicking game are potential weak spots and Steve McNamara may lack flair to give the team the edge. Semi-final is a minimum because of the draw but I think England can win the whole shebang<br />
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The quarter-finals are likely to be NZ v Tonga/Scotland, Australia, who I expect will narrowly beat England in the first game, to face Wales, England v France and PNG v Fiji.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">CHAMPIONSHIP AND CHALLENGE CUP</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 12: I don't feel the rugby league season has really got under way until the Championship starts and this season looks like being the most competitive for years.</span><br />
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In the Championship, Fax and Fev will tussle it out for top spot, I reckon, with Batley and Sheffield not far behind.<br />
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In Champ 1, I reckon it'll be Rochdale's year with Oldham and the Cumbrians snapping at their heels. I think London Skolars and the Crusaders could be the surprise packages and win plenty of games.<br />
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I also think the Challenge Cup Third Round is a great season landmark as the Champ teams enter the fray and with so many evocative ties - Wath Brow v South Wales (the alliteration sounds like something from Dylan Thomas), Egremont v Oldham, and Hunslet v The Royal Navy (one of three Hunslet teams in the third round and like the first tie, the tiny areas versus huge powers)<br />
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UPDATE: Rugby league, Challenge Cup Fourth Road: A special moment of the season as the big teams join the draw. I like the look of Leeds v Wakey, Fev v Cas, Hull v Hudds, Hull KR v Catalans. Fev probably have the only chance of pulling off a shock.<br />
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<a href="http://www.superleague.co.uk/_img/playerpool/big/2501.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.superleague.co.uk/_img/playerpool/big/2501.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 385px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 279px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">SAM TOMKINS - THE GREATEST BRITISH RUGBY PLAYER PLAYING TODAY</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 11: He’s faster than most. He can spot a gap no-one else can see. He can place a kick to perfection, catch a high ball under pressure, produce a try-saving tackle. He can dummy, he can shimmy, he can score. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Wigan Warrior, the finest rugby player playing today – Mr Sam Tomkins.<br />
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I was brought up on the Wales rugby union team of the 70s and marvelled at players like Barry John, Phil Bennett and Gareth Edwards and their way of making the impossible come true - when they were surrounded by opposition players, with apparently nowhere to go, they'd suddenly find space and were away to the tryline.<br />
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Apart from Jonathan Davies, the Wales rugby union and British rugby league great, and Wales’ Shane Williams, I haven’t been excited about a rugby player since then – until I saw Sam.<br />
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He has a chance to show what he can do on a national stage when Wigan play Leeds in rugby league’s Challenge Cup Final on Saturday at what should be a packed Wembley Stadium.<br />
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I love Sam's all-round ability. He’s only 5ft 10in and 12 stone but he can power his way through a heavily-defended line or bring down a huge forward. Not many 'Fancy Dan' half-backs can do that.<br />
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But it’s his outrageous attacking play which truly amazes. When a pass looks like the only option, he’ll suddenly go off on a mazy run, throw an outrageous dummy or charge his way through the tiniest of gaps. You can’t believe he’s going to score but he usually does. He’s only 22 but has the confidence to try anything.<br />
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Sam seems to have gone top another level this season – he’s top try scorer in Super League, he’s made the most clean breaks and is the biggest ‘tackle buster’.<br />
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What a contrast with the England rugby union team. Judging by the game in Wales recently, their strategy is less blood and thunder and more thud and blunder, with no-one seemingly having an original idea to open a defence – it’s back to the Charlie ‘Crash Ball’ Kent 'glory' days of England rugby union of the 70s.<br />
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With many national papers barely covering rugby league these days, players like Tomkins are undervalued while more prosaic rugby union players are hailed for skill that is commonplace in league – the pass out of the tackle or the run from deep, for example.<br />
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Ah well – come on Sam , come on Wigan!<br />
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MY WISHES FOR 2011 SEASON</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">1 More coverage in the national media</span><br />
A familiar refrain and rugby league fans risk 'nutter' status for sending so many letters complaining about coverage. But have you seen the Daily Telegraph, for example? Great sports paper but rugby league coverage is on a par with hockey and lacrosse, while acres is given over to rugby union's Premiership. But the Telegraph isn't unusual - the BBC previewed February's sporting attractions on the radio, with no mention of the start of Super League.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">2 Attendances go up</span><br />
Rugby union's Premiership attendances are falling - no wonder. Matches I've seen are marred by scrums, rucks and penalties. Let's hope rugby league's can surpass them - tricky in this economic climate, but what a coup it would be. And it will help with the Sky contract (up for renewal this year) and - (see 1) more media coverage.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">3 Widnes and Halifax go up</span><br />
Widnes are a shoo-in but wouldn't it be great if Fax could go up with them? A competitive team in a rugby league hotbed with a ground that's finished at last.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">4 Wigan to retain the title</span><br />
Fantastic first season for Michael Maguire - thought last season would be a bedding-in one. New signings make them even stronger. 2 Warrington, 3 Huddersfield, 4 Saints, 5 Bradford, 6 Leeds.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">5 Crusaders hold their heads up</span><br />
Wakey have taken the heat off the Welsh club but it's going to be tough with no cash and a new coach. Hope they win a few and get another play-off place.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">6 Batley for the play-offs</span><br />
Great club, great rugby, great ground. Time for a play-off place, maybe a semi. Fancy Fev to win the league with Fax and Widnes running them close. Keighley to win their league, with Oldham finally winning a final to go up as runners-up.<br />
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<a href="http://www.rlif.co.uk/%7Emedia/images/imagesource.php?image=7268.jpg&maxwidth=657"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.rlif.co.uk/%7Emedia/images/imagesource.php?image=7268.jpg&maxwidth=357" style="display: block; height: 228px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 357px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>FOUR NATIONS - IT WASN'T THAT BAD</b><br />
</span><b>Nov 10: Yet more defeats by Australian and New Zealand and more pessimism about the game in Britain - 'We've gone backwards', 'Players out of their depth' etc.</b><br />
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But unlike previous England/GB games, I didn't feel England were outclassed - their defence held up pretty well against sustained pressure from Australia and New Zealand and the English looked like they had more ideas about how to break the opposition line than in previous games.<br />
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But yet again the English were let down by basic errors and a poor kicking game. I think the Australians and New Zealanders deserved to win both games, but taking into account disallowed/wrongly-given tries, England should have only lost both games by 6-10 points.<br />
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Coach Steve McNamara's changes for the Aussie game were, perhaps, a little drastic, although justified in most cases. I'd have kept Widdop at full-back, with Tomkins at stand-off, Brown on the bench and Fielden dropped.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">PLAY-OFFS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 10: Just when I thought rugby league was getting an unfair hand in the media, you can't keep it out of the news. There was the excellent, even-handed Eddie Waring doc, part of BBC4's night of rugby league which also featured The Game That Got Away, a superbly filmed and observed documentary from 1969 with Salford's casino and roast dinners, Fev's small but perfectly formed team, and Wigan's bosses offering cash in brown paper bags.</span><br />
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Back to the present and Wigan are in the spotlight again after what sounded like the game of the season against Leeds with comebacks, end-to-end action and last-second penalty drama. Radio 5's passionate commentary team of Dave Woods, Stuart Pyke and John Kear were superb in describing Leeds' one-point win.<br />
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The play-off picture's a bit clearer now - Wigan face Hull KR on Friday 17 and Warrington play Huddersfield on Saturday 18. The winners face Saints or Leeds for a place in the final. Saints choose who they play.<br />
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In the Co-op leagues, Sheffield are blazing a trail with wins at Leigh and Barrow. They play Halifax for a place in the final against Featherstone on Thursday 16. But Halifax beat Sheff and face their west Yorks rivals in the final.<br />
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In Championship 1, Oldham are in the final afer beating York. The latter face Blackpool in the final semi on Sunday 19.<br />
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York got their revenge in the final, beating Oldham 25-4. A bit of a suprise I think but coach Dave Woods is an expert at winning these games.<br />
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/images/episode/b00tnwkv_303_170.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/images/episode/b00tnwkv_303_170.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 170px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 303px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">EDDIE WARING DOCUMENTARY</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 10: I'm looking forward to BBC4's documentary about Eddie Waring on September 7. It promises to be a fitting tribute to a great commentator and entertainer who is largely forgotten about now.</span><br />
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The show looks like it's going to follow Tony Hannan's excellent biography by showing how he was loved and loathed.<br />
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I've written about him before but I think he had a fabulous voice - rolling his Rs in 'brain and brawn' for example. While he was occasionally lax about identifying the players, he had a wonderful way of describing the game - take Clive Sullivan's GB try or Don Fox's missed kick in front of the posts.<br />
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He was loathed by chippy, humourless Yorkshiremen who thought he was patronising the north.<br />
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The documentary is part of the Planet North season - programmes about Corrie, food and architecture and on September 7, there is also a 1969 documentary about Featherstone Rovers and a showing of the 1978 Cup Final between Leeds and St Helens. Plus This Sporting Life. Fabulous!<br />
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00tnwkv">Eddie Waring doc trailer</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">MY LEAGUE WEEKLY LETTER ABOUT MEDIA'S COVERAGE OF THE SPORT</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Aug 10: This is in response to a League Weekly column by Christopher Irvine who is no longer wanted as rugby league correspondent of The Times. He compared the coverage of rugby league in the national media now with the start of Super League when there was a promotional push by The Times, cricket was the main sport in the paper and there were only two football reporters. Incidentally Christopher works at Huddersfield Uni.</span><br />
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Here's the letter which appeared in the August 23 edition:<br />
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Great article by Christopher Irvine about the decline of rugby league coverage in the national media. I know exactly what he means – I worked for PA’s Ananova website, later owned by Orange, about 10 years ago and it was a real fight to get beyond the established order of football first and rugby union ahead of rugby league.<br />
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Never mind that attendances a lot of Super League matches would rival some Championship and League One games, every cough and spit of every English and Scottish match had to be covered. I also saw the growing dominance of coverage of English rugby union clubs (never mind Welsh clubs, even though it’s their national sport).<br />
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But as Christopher noted, this is the established order across all sports desks in all media and it will be very difficult for the RFL to change that. Start demanding coverage and that’s bound to get backs up; grovelling for coverage and they are likely to be ignored.<br />
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Even regular letters by readers to papers about poor rugby league coverage make little difference. They are printed but ignored.<br />
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What’s more galling is the increasing coverage of American football – a stop-start pantomime when there’s a slick, skilful contact sport on the papers’ doorstep.<br />
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I’m sure the RFL are constantly reminding sports desks about encouraging attendances and viewing figures in the game and about the exciting young players coming through, but I think the only way to change the mindset is more coverage on terrestrial TV, a successful London club and, most importantly of all, regular international success.<br />
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I believe rugby union takes precedence over league is the 70-80,000 attendances at Six Nations games and 20-30,000, if we’re lucky, for games here. Most sports desks won’t look beyond those figures for a reason of how they cover things.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">BATLEY'S BIG DAY</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Jun 10: I almost overdosed on northerness on the day Batley Bulldogs rugby league team played their Challenge Cup quarter final against Les Catalans (not a builder from Morley, the French team Les Catalans Dragons).</span><br />
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The rugby league, the evocative sloping ground of Mount Pleasant, Batley (and it is a lovely ground), the journey there on an Arriva Northern train, and pre-match refreshments at the West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury, where I watched another quarter-final on TV - Leeds v Wigan.<br />
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There was also a Lady GaGa impersonator at Batley - Barmy Lass (not really, she was called Lady Is Gaga)<br />
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The Refreshment Rooms were heaving - couples and groups of all ages having a great time. Apart from the rugby I couldn't quite work out why, but it seems many were doing a railale trail along the line. That James May programme seems to have done The Rooms a power of good.<br />
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My visit was slightly spoiled by an ignorant group of 10 people who stood right in front of me while I was watching the rugby, even though I moved out of their way to allow them room. I'm big enough to block a door but with some ignoramusses I might as well be invisible!<br />
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To make matters worse, Wigan lost in an error-strewn game in the last couple of minutes despite being the better side.<br />
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So onto Batley. If I didn't have to work on Sundays I'd be there regularly. The rugby is good, the atmosphere is great and it's one of the tidiest grounds in the country.<br />
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Poor old Lady Is Gaga was on her own on the back of a huge lorry in a maid's costume, belting out the hits to a disinterested chip queue.<br />
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The refreshment areas must have done a roaring trade - they'd run out of pies by the second half (they also had no programmes - a setback on a day like this when the 2,000-plus crowd was about three times bigger than normal. The printers were blamed).<br />
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Batley were 'dogged' by a first minute sin-binning but Les Catalans only managed a try in the first 20 minutes and the home side were only trailing 14 points with half-an-hour remaining.<br />
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But the French team (bolstered by Aussies) were a huge hulking lot. They looked baddies in a Clint Eastwood spaghetti western. By comparison Batley were living up to their former name of the Gallant Youths and looked small and boyish on their own line with the huge French bruisers charging at them. Final score of 74-12 to Les Catalans was very harsh.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">RUGBY LEAGUE PUBS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 09: Was I grateful for the Dusty Miller pub, in Longwood, Hudds, last Saturday. The England v Australia showdown and yet again I actually thought England could do it, but where to watch it?</span><br />
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There was no way I was going into town. I've had a rant about the lack of rugby league pubs before (see pub news, letter to Examiner) so I was hoping my local, the Fieldhead, in Quarmby, would show it.<br />
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But of course there was the Ireland World Cup game on at the same time and when I asked the barman if they were showing the rugby, two miserable football oafs who looked like two of the Three Stooges (baldy and curly) said: 'Not a chance' and gawped at me as if I'd switched over the TV myself in the middle of an England penalty shoot-out.<br />
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It's going to be great next summer when all the dribbling halfwit rednecks will be allowed to bawl their Eng-er-land shite just because they've got an Eng-er-land shirt on.<br />
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Anyway if was off across a darkened track and down into Longwood and the Dusty Miller, a cottagey pub which serves Black Sheep and Tetley's Mild in good order and a guest beer, last Saturday a hoppy St Austell one.<br />
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And it was packed, with about 50-60 rugby league fans, cheering the mighty Burgess and co and letting out sighs as the Aussies turned it on, again, at the end.<br />
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So here's to you Dusty Miller.<br />
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And here's to you Pump Room, in Halifax, another great rugby league pub that serves real ale. Why can't more West Yorkshire pubs do something different and bin the football - they're bound to get some punters in, we're living in a rugby league hotbed.<br />
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What to watch? Sky have released fixtures they're covering next year:<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">JANUARY</span><br />
29 Crusaders v Leeds (8.00pm) Hello Wrexham!<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">FEBRUARY</span><br />
5/6 Huddersfield v Bradford<br />
12 Wigan v Hull KR<br />
13 Castleford v Warrington<br />
19 Bradford v Castleford<br />
20 Warrington v Wigan<br />
26 Hull v Harlequins<br />
27 Castleford v Leeds<br />
28 Leeds v Melbourne TBC World Club Challenge<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">MARCH</span><br />
5 Bradford v Wigan<br />
6 Wakefield v Huddersfield<br />
12 Hull KR v Wakefield<br />
13 Warrington v Bradford<br />
19 Crusaders v Catalans<br />
20 Harlequins v Huddersfield<br />
27 Salford v Hull<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">APRIL</span><br />
1 Leeds v Bradford<br />
2 Hull KR v Hull<br />
St Helens v Wigan<br />
5 Catalans v Leeds<br />
9 Huddersfield v Castleford<br />
10 Harlequins v St Helens<br />
23 St Helens v Leeds<br />
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<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/8976830@N03/">Pic: Delarever from Flickr</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.whsmith.co.uk/Images/Products%5C845%5C963%5C9781845963002_m_f.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.whsmith.co.uk/Images/Products%5C845%5C963%5C9781845963002_m_f.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">KAISER CHIEF <span style="font-style: italic;">DIDN'T</span> SING AT EDDIE WARING'S FUNERAL</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 09: I've been getting into <a href="http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/content/come-george-and-other-saturday-afternoon-black-and-white-films-bbc2">The Word</a> comments board - Rod Hull, Tommy Cooper discussions - marvellous. I managed to squeeze in my 'Kaiser Chief singer sang at Eddie Waring's funeral' story from Tony Hannan's biography of Eddie - but it seems Tony wasn't quite right, as he admitted in a reply to my email on the site.</span><br />
<br />
Here's his reply:<br />
<br />
"Eeeaaarly bath for moi, alas.<br />
<br />
Since the first edition of Being Eddie Waring was published, it has come to light that the Ricky Wilson/Eddie Waring story is only a half-truth. It seems that - contrary to Waring family memory - it was actually Ricky's brother who was Eddie's godson and sang Pie Jesu at the funeral.<br />
<br />
Ricky was there at the service, though, and so, technically speaking, will have sung something, or maybe just picked his nose...since he was nowt but a nipper at the time. His parents were BBC producers who worked with Eddie on 'It's A Knockout', among other programmes.<br />
<br />
The connection has left me convinced that the 'Oh My God' lyrics are actually about Eddie and rugby league, though....then again, I could be wrong about that an' all!"<br />
<br />
I prrrredict-a a riot-a!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">WORLD CUP AFTERMATH</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 08: Bugger! Bugger, bugger, bugger! I never expected that - solid Super League talents like Wellens buggering up, basic defence on the line non-existent, up-in- the-air passes instead of whipped into the breadbasket, yet more crap kicking on the fifth tackle. I really thought we would get to the final and go down in a heroic fashion.</span><br />
<br />
England looked nervous, trying to be clever before they'd established a platform. Bugger.<br />
<br />
At least the rest of the world cup has been good - the matches involving the 'lesser teams' have been great.<br />
<br />
Aussies to win by 20-30 points in the final.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">RUGBY LEAGUE V AMERICAN FOOTBALL - MY OBSERVER LETTER</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 08: I was cheesed off with the measly coverage of the rugby league world cup compared with a two-page spread about an American football team in the October 19 edition of The Observer so I sent a letter which made top billing (out of three letters, ahem) in the October 26 edition's letters column.</span><br />
<br />
It really pisses me off that American football, such a ponderous, ludicrous sport, is starting to get more attention in this country, probably because it's the latest trend from US. Yet we have rugby league, such an exciting homegrown sport which never seems to get enough publicity here.<br />
<br />
Here's the letter:<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">It seems to be a tradition that most rugby league fans who write to national newspapers are moaning buggers, so I'm not going to disappoint you!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">But, come on - one spindly column on the rugby league world cup, a major competition for one of our country's most popular sports, and a double page spread on a team playing American football, the High School Musical of sport (the latest US trend which is all flash and no substance).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">Rugby league is a fast and furious sport with breathtaking skills attracting more fans every year at grounds and on TV.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">American football has a languid poser looking for someone to pass to while a bunch of goons slap each other like rival packs of meerkats. Then they all have a rest and polish their helmets.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">England rugby league team have a real chance of actually winning something at the world cup so let's have some more coverage please.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">THE WORLD CUP - FIXTURES AND TEAMS</span></b><br />
<b>The rugby league world cup arrives with its usual lack of fanfare in the media - plenty of coverage about tedious southern rugby union premiership but next to nothing on such a major international event. Observer Sport, for example, ran a one-page preview piece and a massive feature on a leisure pursuit - climbing.<br />
</b><br />
GROUP A: Australia, England, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea<br />
GROUP B: France, Fiji, Scotland<br />
GROUP C: Tonga, Ireland, Samoa<br />
<br />
The format looks like favouring first three in Group A with one other team from other groups in semis. The top teams in groups B and C play off each other for a chance to play the winners of Group A in the semis. The second and third placed Group A teams play in the other semis.<br />
<br />
I'm guessing it'll be Australia v France, New Zealand v England in the semis, with an Aussie/England final and the Aussies to win overall.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Fixtures:</b><br />
Saturday, 25 October 2008<br />
England 33 Papua New Guinea 22<br />
<br />
Sunday, 26 October 2008<br />
Australia 30 New Zealand 6<br />
Scotland 18 France 36<br />
<br />
Monday, 27 October 2008<br />
Tonga 22 Ireland 20<br />
<br />
Friday, 31 October 2008<br />
Samoa 20 Tonga 12<br />
<br />
Saturday, 01 November 2008<br />
Fiji 42 France 6<br />
New Zealand 48 Papua New Guinea 6<br />
<br />
Sunday, 02 November 2008<br />
Australia 52 England 4<br />
<br />
Wednesday, 05 November 2008<br />
Ireland 34 Samoa 16<br />
Scotland 18 Fiji 16<br />
<br />
Fiji and Ireland meet in semi-final eliminator. Other teams play in ranking games.<br />
<br />
Saturday, 08 November 2008<br />
England 24 New Zealand 36<br />
Runner-Up Group B (Scotland) 0 Runner-Up Group C (Tonga) 48<br />
<br />
Sunday, 09 November 2008<br />
3rd place Group B (France) 10 3rd place Group C (Samoa) 42<br />
Papua New Guinea 6 Australia 46<br />
<br />
Monday, 10 November 2008<br />
Winner Group B (Fiji) 30 Winner Group C (Ireland) 14<br />
<br />
Saturday, 15 November 2008<br />
Semi-final: Runner-Up Group A (New Zealand) 32 3rd Place Group A (England) 22<br />
<br />
Sunday, 16 November 2008<br />
Semi-final Winner Group A (Australia) 52 v Winner sf qualifier (Fiji) 0<br />
<br />
Saturday, 22 November 2008<br />
Winner SF1 v Winner SF2, 8:55<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Matches will be shown live on Sky and highlights on the BBC as follows:</span><br />
Sunday 26 October<br />
1130-1230, BBC TWO<br />
<br />
Sunday 2 November<br />
1300-1400, BBC TWO<br />
<br />
Saturday 8 November<br />
1300-1400, BBC TWO<br />
<br />
Sunday 9 November<br />
1300-1400, BBC TWO<br />
<br />
Saturday 15 November<br />
1300-1400, BBC TWO<br />
<br />
Sunday 16 November<br />
1400-1500, BBC TWO<br />
<br />
Saturday 22 November<br />
1330-1430 , BBC TWO<br />
<br />
<b>BRITISH TEAMS</b><br />
<br />
<b>England:</b><br />
Keith Senior, Danny McGuire, Rob Burrow, Jamie Peacock (captain), Gareth Ellis, Kevin Sinfield, Jamie Jones-Buchanan, Lee Smith (all Leeds), Paul Wellens, Ade Gardner, Leon Pryce, James Graham, James Roby, Maurie Fa'asavalu, Jon Wilkin (all St Helens), Rob Purdham (Harlequins), Mark Calderwood, Mickey Higham, Gareth Hock (all Wigan), Martin Gleeson, Adrian Morley, Ben Westwood (all Warrington), Jamie Langley, Paul Sykes (both Bradford).<br />
<br />
<b>Ireland:</b><br />
Ross Barbour (Carlow Crusaders), Bob Beswick (Widnes), Damien Blanch (Wakefield), Mick Cassidy (Barrow), Ged Corcoran (Sheffield), Lee Doran (Leigh), Liam Finn (Dewsbury), Simon Finnigan (Bradford), Karl Fitzpatrick (Salford), Steve Gibbons (London Skolars), Sean Gleeson (Wakefield), Scott Grix (Wakefield), Gareth Haggerty (Harlequins), Ben Harrison (Warrington), Graham Holroyd (Halifax), Wayne Kerr (London Skolars), Stuart Littler (Salford), Shannon McDonnell (Wests Tigers), Michael McIlorum (Wigan), Eamon O'Carroll (Wigan), Michael Platt (Bradford), Pat Richards (Wigan), Ryan Tandy (Wests Tigers), Brett White (Melbourne Storm).<br />
<br />
<b>Scotland:</b><br />
Chris Armit (Canterbury Bulldogs), Danny Brough (Wakefield Wildcats, captain), Dean Colton (Doncaster), Paddy Coupar (Edinburgh Eagles), Gavin Cowan (Wests Tigers), John Duffy (Widnes Vikings), Ben Fisher (Hull KR), Andrew Henderson (Castleford Tigers), Ian Henderson (Auckland Warriors), Kevin Henderson (Wakefield Wildcats), Jack Howieson (Sheffield Eagles), Paul Jackson (Huddersfield Giants), Wade Liddell (Brisbane Easts), Scott Logan (Canberra Raiders), Neil Lowe (Keighley Cougars), David McConnell (Leigh Centurions), Duncan McGilvery (Wakefield Wildcats), Iain Morrison (Widnes Vikings), Gareth Morton (Widnes Vikings), Mick Nanyn (Oldham), Lee Paterson (Widnes Vikings), Michael Robertson (Manley Sea Eagles), Jon Steel (Hull KR), Oliver Wilkes (Wakefield Wildcats).<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.whsmith.co.uk/Images/Products%5C845%5C963%5C9781845963002_m_f.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.whsmith.co.uk/Images/Products%5C845%5C963%5C9781845963002_m_f.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">A MARVELLOUS BIOGRAPHY OF EDDIE WARING</span></b><br />
<b>Aug 08: Just finished this fabulous book by Tony Hannan - a book I wanted to write and one that raises most of the points I wanted to raise. How could a 1970s superstar who appeared on Morecambe and Wise and other big shows be largely forgotten? Is Sky's Stevo receiving the same treatment as Eddie from the same craggy-faced old moaners who haven't laughed since 1973 when they broke wind?<br />
</b><br />
There's some wonderful detail here - the lead singer of the Kaiser Chiefs, then a choirboy, singing at Eddie's funeral (Eddie was his godfather); Eddie's commentary of baseball in 1930s Dewsbury; and Eddie hobnobbing with Bob Hope in Hollywood.<br />
<br />
But it's Eddie's brilliant ideas and his generous spirit that come across most of all in this book. He was coming up with Super League-type names and advocating expansion from the heartlands in the 1930s.<br />
<br />
He was rumoured to be a big head and aloof but gave up his time and money at charity functions and helped out fellow journos. He was also humble enough to take on criticism from the BBC and alter his commentary style.<br />
<br />
We're already halfway through the book by the time we get to his most famous period - his TV commentaries. He was doing radio commentary in the 1930s and ran Dewsbury rugby league in the 30s and 40s, transforming its fortunes.<br />
<br />
Hannan gives both sides of the argument about Eddie being an 'Uncle Tom' figure, playing up to the cloth-cap Northern thicko image for the posh BBC, but he rightly rejects the critics, pointing out his brilliant commentary in the 'Watersplash' final where Don Fox missed a kick in front of the posts in the last minute and his team lost. Eddie never assumed that the kick would go over, as most commentators would do, and in his wonderful rich voice gave him a warm tribute 'Poor lad' etc.<br />
<br />
No-one mocked rugby union's Bill McLaren for all his phrases or Scottish 'R's, but there were plenty of whingeing, chippy Northerners who moaned about Eddie, ignoring his fabulous voice, his turn of phrase and his timing. Colin Welland is quoted as slagging off Eddie. Welland wrote a terrible play about rugby league with all the northern cliches in place so he's got no room to talk.<br />
<br />
Hannan suggests Eddie was struggling with a form of Alzheimer's by the mid-70s when he was in his mid-sixties and was in a home two years after he retired in 1981. He died in 1986.<br />
<br />
A great book about a lovely man.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>CROESO CRUSADERS!</b><br />
</span><b>July 08: For all the understandable wailing and gnashing from Widnes, the RFL has made the right decision letting Celtic Crusaders into Super League next year. It would have been an anti-climax to let two middling sides into Super League who've been there before.</b><br />
<br />
Now we've got a relatively new side with huge potential who've already made huge strides in moving up the leagues, attracting more supporters and spreading the league word around Wales.<br />
Their entry to Super League was the main story on ic wales (Western Mail) website on the day of the announcement and there's reports of Welsh government support.<br />
<br />
The ground is not the best but it's no worse than Wakefield's.<br />
<br />
In an ideal world, maybe two other clubs should have got in - Widnes and Halifax - but the former had financial difficulties last year and the latter still haven't built their stand.<br />
<br />
Elsewhere the RFL is to even up the National Leagues by allowing one team to go down from NL1 and three to go up from Div 2, two automatically. Plus they've invited a French team to join, probably Toulouse, in 2009 and 2010.<br />
<br />
The RFL assessed the teams on stadium facilities, finance, marketing, and players, including junior development. Leeds, Warrington and Hull came top<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">RUSSELL CROWE IS EDDIE WARING!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">June 08: Is Russell Crowe really going to make a film about Eddie Waring?</span><br />
<br />
According to the legendary League Weekly writer Dave 'Nosey' Parker, Tony Hannan's recent biography of Eddie was handed to Crowe by Leeds boss Gary Hetherington.<br />
<br />
Dave worked with Eddie at the BBC and his column is a mixture of (usually) spot-on transfer rumours and entertaining trivia (tasty sausages in the Warrington press room).<br />
<br />
So will it be 'I am Marcus Aurelius....a big lad from Featherstone', co-starring Tom Selleck as Alex Murphy, Morgan Freeman as Billy Boston and Danny De Vito as Andy Gregory?<br />
<br />
I'm looking forward to reading Eddie's biography. He was a huge star in the seventies but is never thought of as a great broadcaster now - partly because of anti-Northern bias and partly due to the miserable buggers up here who, in the same way as they hate Stevo, think a commentator should read a dry list of facts rather than put a bit of feeling into their voice to match the passionate game.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40034000/jpg/_40034472_gregory203.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40034000/jpg/_40034472_gregory203.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">MIKE GREGORY, RIP</span></span><br />
<br />
<b>Nov O7: There are few sadder sights than sportsmen and women who pride themselves on keeping their bodies in prime conditon being incapacitated by injury and illness, and none was crueller than the fate of former Great Britain captain Mike Gregory who has died at 43 after a four-year battle with a neurological disease.<br />
</b><br />
His wife, Erica, a bio-chemist, traced his illness to a tick bite in Australia while and the infection known as borrelia caused progressive muscular atrophy which has the same symptoms as motor neurone disease.<br />
<br />
He collapsed after Wigan's Challenge Cup final appearance in 2004 - the last game he was to coach with his hometown team. He insisted he could carry on with the job and the club made an ex gratia payment to him of £17,500 after he took them to a tribunal.<br />
<br />
Gregory played virtually his entire career with Warrington and also captained GB to two Test series victories over New Zealand.<br />
<br />
The highlights of his international career included a long-range try in Sydney in 1988 to clinch the first British victory over Australia in a decade. This was one of rugby league's most famous tries, when Andy Gregory broke through the Aussie defence deep in his own half passed it to Mike (no relation) and he beat the chasing defence to touch down, even though speedster Martin Offiah was outside him begging for a pass.<br />
<br />
Gregory recalled in his autobiography Biting Back in 2006. I was thinking 'If I'm going to run all this way, I may as well score.'<br />
<br />
He began his post-playing career as assistant to coach Shaun McRae at St Helens, who lifted the inaugural title and twice won the Challenge Cup during his time on the staff. Gregory then coached Swinton before joining the backroom staff at Wigan, initially as academy coach and then as assistant to Stuart Raper.<br />
<br />
He succeeded Raper at his hometown club in July 2004 and, after guiding the Warriors to an 11-match unbeaten run culminating in a Grand Final appearance and was given the job full time on a two-year contract.<br />
<br />
More than 1,000 people attended his funeral and the streets outside the Sacred Heart Church in Springfield, Wigan, were lined with fans in the hours before the service<br />
<br />
Wigan RL Chief Executive and his friend Joe Lydon said: “Gone is the powerful physique that Mike worked so hard to create, the swagger, the confidence, the banter.<br />
<br />
"But before anger sets in at the cruel injustice, I quickly realised that what remains, what is constant, are the core values, the heart encased in a stubborn shell.<br />
<br />
“Courage, determination, a sharp mind and a love and appreciation of family, friends and laughter. These are the qualities that deserve to be applauded and afforded the superlatives that are too often used without real merit.<br />
<br />
“These are the qualities that define the man I have had the pleasure to play alongside and to call my friend. These are the same qualities that should stand as a reminder to us all of what must be valued in sport, at home and in life."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>AUSTRALIA 12 GREAT BRITAIN 23!</b><br />
</span><b>Nov 2006: Was it only a few weeks ago that I was so optimistic...<br />
<br />
Rolf Harris, Kylie Minogue, that helicopter bloke who dropped snakes on Mad Max, can you hear me now? You won the boxing match but lost the game!</b><br />
<br />
Are you there Nathan Hindmarsh? When Leon Pryce said he preferred Blackpool to Bondi (wherever that is) the Aussie said about Lancashire's premier resort: "It's an exciting place to go, really. The rain, the drizzle, the cold, the depressing people, the smokes in the bath … I don't know of anyone who has been to Blackpool and enjoyed it."<br />
<br />
Smoking in the bath, ooh how terrible.<br />
<br />
Nathan - <b>23-12<br />
</b><br />
And Wigan's Bryan Fletcher described Blackpool as "a shithouse". He told the Sydney Morning Herald: "I went to Blackpool - me and the missus. We got there and the wife said, 'Pick the baby up, I don't want her walking on the footpath'.<br />
<br />
"It's so dirty. And the beach - you've got your sand, but the water's edge is about a kilometre out to sea. It's just shithouse."<br />
<br />
Brian - <b>23-12</b>.<br />
<br />
Tom Raudonikis, a tourist to England with Australia in 1972, 1973, 1975 and 1978, told The (Aussie) Telegraph: "The north of England is too cold, full of miserable people and the beer is warm. Oh, and Leon Pryce lives there."<br />
<br />
Ooo, ner-ner-n-ner-ner. Tom - <b>23-12</b><br />
<br />
The Telegraph also says that in the "grimy north of England" the sun sets at 3pm, and Blackpool is bleak.<br />
<br />
And ex-Aussie captain Laurie Daley told The Australian: "Super League is a second-rate competition. There's a couple of good sides, but the rest would be finishing in the bottom of our competition every year."<br />
<br />
Laurie - <b>23-12!<br />
</b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1845960483.02._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1123682389_.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://images.amazon.com/images/P/1845960483.02._SS500_SCLZZZZZZZ_V1123682389_.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>UP AND OVER, A Trek through Rugby League Land, by Dave Hadfield</b><br />
</span><br />
<b>A book about a 220-mile sponsored walk, roughly following the route of the M62, sounds tedious but this is a wonderful book which says so much about rugby league and Northern towns and cities and also has some cracking anecdotes and laugh-out-loud lines.</b><br />
<br />
Hadfield is the rugby league writer of The Independent and is joined on the 2003 walk by Sky summarisers Phil Clarke and Stevo. They are accompanied by fans from different clubs as they travel from Hull to Widnes, via Castleford, Wakefield, Leeds, Bradford, Halifax, Huddersfield, Oldham, Salford, Swinton, Leigh, Wigan, St Helens and Warrington.<br />
<br />
He points out how much these sporting rivals have in common - the loss of coal and other industries and the closure of evocative old grounds such as Watersheddings and Thrum Hall.<br />
<br />
As Hadfield describes the tough areas and some of the brutal players in the sport, he comes across examples of the game's generous spirit - Embassy, the amateur club from Hull, who gave all their Russian Challenge Cup opponents a tenner each so they buy a drink. And then there's Barrie McDermott, the fearsome one-eyed Leeds legend who was the first person to have CS gas used on him in Britain. He turns out to be a lovely bloke (off the field anyway).<br />
<br />
The quirky observations are often the best - how bread rolls become breadcakes, flourcakes, teacakes, baps or buns from town to town, how Halifax still displays its gibbet (inspiration for the guillotine) which was last used in 1654 to decapitate two unfortunate cloth thieves.<br />
<br />
Hadfield also clears up a couple of myths - the first about Eddie Waring living in the Queen's Hotel, in Leeds. He actually lived somewhere in Sowerby Bridge but his commentary style was so unpopular with some league fans, all his mail was redirected to the hotel and he always met visitors there.<br />
<br />
He also had an everlasting contract with the BBC, but by the end he had to get someone to point at players' names on a board and spent the whole match watching the board!<br />
<br />
The other myth is the family who live on the farm in the middle of the M62 (subject of a lovely John Shuttleworth song). The road builders didn't have to divert the road especially for a stubborn farmer who refused to move - they were going to split the road anyway there and the farmer and his family opted to stay.<br />
<br />
Hadfield has some great one-liners too - hardcore Hull FC fans won't eat bacon because it's in the red and white colours of Hull KR! There are plenty of good-natured cracks about Stevo and some about Ray French, who loses a bet with Stevo over the existence of the momentum rule and has to shout out his greatest commentary lines in Warrington town centre.<br />
<br />
Cracking book!<br />
<br />
Picture: AmazonOlthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-39344071149935357372013-11-18T06:01:00.000+00:002013-11-19T09:43:23.196+00:00GOOD BEER GUIDE 2014 - WHO'S IN, WHO'S OUT<br />
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Never mind your apps, here's my guide to this year's <span style="font-size: large;"><b>Good Beer Guide</b></span> to send you on the path to pub righteousness. There are no changes in Huddersfield and Bradford but quite a few in Leeds and Manchester. The book also features a West Yorkshire village I've never heard of before - Goose Eye.<br />
<br />
<b>Hudds</b> has Grove, King's, Rat, Slubbers, Sporters, Star, Vulcan and White Cross in the good book.<br />
<br />
Elsewhere in Kirklees, the gaudy and loud Brambles is a newy in<b> Holmfirth</b> (the Nook's still in from last year). The Flowerpot in <b>Mirfield </b>is another newy, joining the town's Navigation and Old Colonial. The Pear Tree drops out. <b>Dewsbury</b> loses the Huntsman and Shepherd's (West Riding and Leggers are still in ). No changes in <b>Linthwaite</b> (The Sair, arguably the best pub in the world), <b>Marsden</b> (Riverhead), <b>Meltham </b>(Will O'Nats)<b> Slaithwaite</b> (Commercial).<br />
<br />
In <b>Bradford</b>, entries are the Castle, City Vaults, Corn Dolly, Fighting Cock, Ginger Goose, Haigy's, New Beehive, Sir Titus Salt and Sparrow.<br />
<br />
In <b>Leeds</b>, in come the Friends of Ham (hip but nice), Ship (forgettable), Stick or Twist (Wetherbarn), Templar (a classic old boozer full of classic old boozers). Still in are Hop, Foleys, North, Palace, Scarborough, Veritas, Victoria, Whitelocks.<br />
<br />
Away from Leeds centre, Fox and Newt in <b>Burley</b>, Arcadia, in <b>Headingley</b>, and the Grove and Midnight Bell, in <b>Holbeck</b> are still in.<br />
<br />
In <b>Halifax</b>, the smashing and revamped Shears is in, but Dirty Dicks (shame) and New Prospect depart. Still in are Big Six, Sportsman, and Three Pigeons.<br />
<br />
Elsewhere in Calderdale, the Barge and Barrel, in <b>Elland</b>, returns to the book (Drop Inn still in from last year). <b>Todmorden's</b> newie is Calderdale pub of the year and piemaster the Masons, joining the Polished Knob and Staff of Life. No changes in <b>Brighouse</b> (Red Rooster, Richard Oastler)<br />
<br />
Splendid <b>Sowerby Bridge</b> still has the Jubilee, Puzzle, Shepherd's and Works, but loses the White Horse.<br />
<br />
The lovely Crescent, in <b>Ilkley,</b> is a newie (along with regular Bar T'at). The Fleece falls out in <b>Otley</b> but town's Bowling Green, Horse and Farrier, Junction and Old Cock are still in.<br />
<br />
<b>Manchester</b> newbies are the Crown and Kettle (which has improved since last year), Font (studenty), Joshua Brooks (ditto), Molly House (first 'village' pub to feature in guide?), Rising Sun (a bit characterless), and Wharf (ditto). Out go: Wheatsheaf, Smithfield, Piccadilly, Peveril, Old Wellington, Jolly Anglers. Still in are: Angel, Bar Fringe, Cask, Castle, City Arms, Knott, Marble Arch, Micro Bar, Paramount, Port Street, Sandbar, Waterhouse. <br />
<br />
A few changes in real ale/craft beer hotspot<b> Chorlton</b> - Beech Inn, Marble Beer House, Parlour and Sedge Lynn are new entries, joining Bar, Electrik and Pi. Out go Horse& Jockey and Oddest.<br />
<br />
<b>Salford's</b> Crescent drops out of this year's Guide but another old favourite, the King's Arms, is back in. The Eagle is another new entry. The Mark Addy and New Oxford stay in from last year. The Racecourse and Star drop out.<br />
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Tameside is good for an ale crawl with <b>Hyde, Mossley and Stalybridge</b> each having four entries. In Hyde - Cheshire Ring, Godley hall (new), Queen's Inn and Sportsman. Mossley has Britannia, Commercial (new), Dysarts and the Rising Sun, while Stalyvegas has the Society Rooms (new), Labour Club (new), Refreshment Rooms and the White House. <br />
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They've reorganised the <b>Sheffield </b>entries, creating a new Kelham Island section featuring Fat Cat, Harlequin, Kelham Island Tavern, Riverside, Shakespeares, Ship Inn, and Wellington. Most of these pubs used to be in the central section which now features the Bath, Dev Cat, Henry's, Hop (a newie), Old House, Red Deer, Rutland, Sheff Tap. A newie in Shef South is the splendid Broadfield, an ex-student grothole now very good for food and ales. The best pub in Sheffield, the Sheaf, is still in the south section.<br />
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Loads of changes in <b>York </b>with some great pubs dropping out, such as the Golden Ball, Three Legged Mare and Blue Bell. Guy Fawkes and Rook&Gaskell also leave. In come Old White Swan, Pivni, Snickleway, Volunteer and York Tap, joining regulars Brigantes, Maltings, Minster, Phoenix, Slip, Swan and Waggon&Horses.<br />
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In Wakefield, new entries are an old favourite, Henry Boons, plus the Inns of Court. Regulars are Alverthorpe, Black Rock, Bull and Fairhouse, Fernandes, Harry's, Hop and Red Shed.<br />
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PS Goose Eye is near Oakworth. The Turkey Inn is the entry - looks a corker.<br />
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<b>The final 16 for Camra pub of the year have been chosen - Wales' champ is the Albion, see below. Yorkshire's is the Old No7, in Barnsley, decent but not spectacular. The Baum in Rochdale, reigning national champ, is Greater Manc pub of the year again.</b> <b>Winners announced in Feb</b>.Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1146597156480908332012-08-10T07:00:00.000+01:002013-02-12T09:19:37.140+00:00PIES AND OTHER FOOD<a href="http://www.bolstermoorfarmshop.co.uk/admin/classes/components/formattedTextArea/fckeditor/editor/filemanager/connectors/php/upload./data/page/fck/IMAG0113(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://www.bolstermoorfarmshop.co.uk/admin/classes/components/formattedTextArea/fckeditor/editor/filemanager/connectors/php/upload./data/page/fck/IMAG0113(1).jpg" width="400" /></a><b> </b><br />
<b>THE MERYL STREEP OF PIEMEN</b><br />
Pieman Simon Haigh of Bolster Moor Farm Shop, Huddersfield, has been dubbed the 'Meryl Streep of the pie world' after the farm won all four categories of Meat Trade Journal’s National Pie competition in Harrogate. The farm won the best pork pie, savoury pie, steak and kidney pie and pasty. Handing out the awards, ex-Eastenders and Extras star Shaun Williamson described Simon as the 'Meryl Streep of the pie world'. Judges were particularly impressed with the winning savoury pie, a Jubilee Pie created by Luke Haigh, which has a pork and chicken filling, with a ‘Union Jack’ flag topping of blueberries.<br />
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<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.htcpl.org.uk/foodanddrinkfestival/images/logo_2010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="120" src="http://www.htcpl.org.uk/foodanddrinkfestival/images/logo_2010.jpg" width="358" /></a></div><b>Huddersfield Food and Drink Festival:</b> August 9-12. St George's Square, featuring dozens of stalls including Jones' pies (and a pie-making demo), Bolster Moor Farm Shop, Hinchliffe's, Vox, Star, Sportsman, Nook, King's Head<br />
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Plus: Real Ale Trail, which starts on July 21 and ends on August 12. Taking part are: Herberts Bar, Rhubarb, Rat and Ratchet, Shoulder of Mutton (Lockwood), Stevo's Bar, The County, The Grove, The Head of Steam, The Kings Head, The Sportsman, The Star, The Vulcan and Zephyr.<br />
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Another enjoyable weekend at the festival and Taste Trail - a little more room at the festival this year helped browsing. Bradley's burgers and Yummy Yorkshire's parkin ice cream were the highlights for me, while Argento shone in the Taste Trail.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Pork Pie Appreciation Society Pie Competition results</span><br />
1 Hinchliffe's, Netherton, Hudds<br />
2 Bolster Farm, Golcar, Hudds<br />
3 Lund, Keighley<br />
A titanic tussle between Huddersfield's two premier farm shops and pie and sausagemeisters at the Old Bridge Inn, Ripponden, was shaded by Hinchliffe's.<br />
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<a href="http://www.greatyorkscomp.co.uk/images/2007BannerandLogo.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.greatyorkscomp.co.uk/images/2007BannerandLogo.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 187px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 349px;" /></a><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Leeds butchers triumphed at the 2011 Great Yorkshire Pork Pie, Sausage & Products Competition, the the UK’s biggest and best-known regional meat trades contest. </span><br />
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Steve Martin, of Bentleys Butchers, Robin Lane, Pudsey, retained the pork pie supreme championship, while Paul Flintoft Butchers, of High Street, Kippax, was supreme sausage champion.<br />
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Steve Martin, who has been running the business for 20 years, said: “The pie is made using a secret recipe, which has been passed down over the years and tweaked by myself.” <br />
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Both the reserve supreme pork pie and sausage titles fell to a first-time competition entrant, Bolster Moor Farm Shop at Golcar in Huddersfield, launched in 2009 and owned by second cousins Simon Haigh and Andrew Whitwam.<br />
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The business clinched these honours with its first prize large pork (stand) pies and thin pork sausages, also winning first and second prizes in the speciality sausage class. <br />
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Bolster Moor Farm Shop butcher and owner's son Luke Haigh commented: “We're delighted to have brought home so many trophies for our sausages and large pork pies. A lot goes into perfecting our products to ensure they're champion quality. On a personal note, as the up & coming next generation of our farm shop business, it's great to be recognised in this way.”<br />
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Netherton Butchers at Hinchliffe Farm Shop, Huddersfield, won the black pudding championship and WR Wright & Sons Trophy, also finishing runner-up in both the large pork pie and thick pork sausage classes.<br />
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Gledhills Butchers, of Stanley, Wakefield, won the beef burger championship and WR Wright & Sons Shield, also becoming runner-up in the black pudding class.<br />
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Kendall’s Farm Butchers, of Pateley Bridge and Harrogate, won the speciality cold eating pie class with its pork, black pudding and apple pie, receiving the John Spencer Memorial Trophy. <br />
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The 23rd annual competition was organised by the Confederation of Yorkshire Butchers Councils and held at Cedar Court Hotel, Bradford. It attracted 300 entries from butchers across the county.<br />
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Among those highly commended as finalists at the 2011 competition were:<br />
Small pork pie – Keith Dyson, Almondbury<br />
Thin pork sausage – Villa Farm Shop, Huddersfield<br />
Thick pork sausage – Bolster Moor Farm Shop, Golcar<br />
Speciality sausage – Netherton Butchers at Hinchliffe Farm Shop, Huddersfield<br />
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<br />
<br />
<a href="https://p.twimg.com/AdMg3ctCQAA2KBQ.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="https://p.twimg.com/AdMg3ctCQAA2KBQ.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 250px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 300px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">IT'S SAUSAGES!</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 11: Bolster Moor Farm shop, near Slades Road, Golcar, Huddersfield, has received a sausage award from Noddy Holder.</span><br />
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Their traditional pork sausages were judged the best in Yorkshire in a competition to mark British Sausage Week and 'sausage ambassador' Noddy Holder presented the farm with a gold disc. (Pic from farm's Twitter site).<br />
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<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">The results of the Pork Pie Appreciation Society's 2011 Competition</span></span><br />
1st Netherton Butchers, Huddersfield.<br />
2nd Bolster Moor Farm Shop,Golcar<br />
3rd Benson Mellor, Newark<br />
4th Gledhills Butchers Wakefield<br />
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<a href="http://www.coffeevolution.co.uk/media/4330/ignatius%20photography%202009%20%2847%29%20resized.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.coffeevolution.co.uk/media/4330/ignatius%20photography%202009%20%2847%29%20resized.jpg" style="display: block; height: 214px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 320px;" /></a><br />
<div><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>HAPPY BIRTHDAY COFFEE EVOLUTION</b><br />
</span><b>Nov 10: I've been meaning to highlight one of the best coffee shops in the country - Coffee Evolution in Huddersfield - and now I've got the perfect excuse. It's celebrating its 10th anniversary this month.</b><br />
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With so many chain coffee shops around, and many of them trying to pass themselves off as homely places, celebrating 10 years is a real achievement for an independent.<br />
<br />
Coffee Evolution has a great feel about it. Its main shop in Church Street is light, thanks to its huge windows, and neatly laid out so all the seating is around the walls and windows - giving a quite different feel to chain shops. It doesn't have the rushed atmosphere of a chain either - it's a place to kick back and read the papers which are supplied in store.<br />
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The coffee is spot on - not too bitter or stewed (Hello Starbucks) and not served in buckets if you want a large one (Hello Starbucks again). There's a great selection of delicious bagels and homemade biscuits. The service is friendly and assured.<br />
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Coffee Evolution also has another branch in Greenhead Road.</div><br />
<div></div><div>To find out about the 10th anniversary celebrations, see <a href="http://www.coffeevolution.co.uk/home.aspx">here</a></div><br />
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<div><br />
<br />
</div><a href="http://www.weaversshed.co.uk/rollover_pics/weavers_01.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.weaversshed.co.uk/rollover_pics/weavers_01.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 206px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 205px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">END OF THE YARN FOR WEAVERS SHED</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 10: Huddersfield's best restaurant (probably) is closing.</span><br />
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Weavers Shed owner Stephen Jackson is selling the Golcar eaterie. Last orders on May 1.<br />
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The 40-year-old told the Examiner: "After 17 years the lack of free evenings has finally taken its toll. You won’t find many chefs of my age working all the shifts. Gordon Ramsey certainly doesn’t – he just dabbles.<br />
<br />
“I start work at 10am and finish around 11pm with a few hours off in between."<br />
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He's planning to open 'an upmarket cafe' in Marsden, Slaithwaite or Huddersfield town centre.<br />
<br />
I'll never forget the meal I had there. The restaurant is a converted 18th century woollen mill which looks like an old vicarage. It's immaculate inside and the food is fabulous. I can still remember a butternut squash soup, which was the colour of old gold, thick enough to stand your spoon in, and so sweet and delicious.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">PORK PIE APPRECIATION SOCIETY COMPETITION 2010</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 10: Hinchliffe’s Farm Shop, in Netherton, Huddersfield has triumphed again at the annual Pork Pie Appreciation Society awards in Ripponden. It's the sixth win for the shop.</span><br />
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Fifty hopefuls from around the UK took part and a team of 12 judges marked each pie for construction, appearance and taste.<br />
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Society secretary Peter Charnley said: "The pie's got to be fresh crusty and crisp pastry. The meat has got to be spicy, very tasty and the pie should be well-filled."<br />
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Runner-up was Wilson's of Crossgates, Leeds. Third was Bentley's of Pudsey and fourth was Peter Middlemiss of Otley.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://www.greatyorkscomp.co.uk/images/2007BannerandLogo.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.greatyorkscomp.co.uk/images/2007BannerandLogo.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 187px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 349px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">WORLD CUP OF PIES 2009</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 09: It's the Great Yorkshire Pork Pie, Sausage and Products Competition again, regarded by regular winner Hofmann of Wakefield as the world cup of pies.</span><br />
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The supreme champion sausage title this year went to Hofmann's, which won the thick sausage class and was also runner-up in three other classes – thin pork sausage and speciality sausage (pork and leek), and large pork (stand) pie.<br />
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Voakes, of Whixley Grange, Whixley - between York and Harrogate - was crowned supreme pie champion for the second year running. It also won the large pie and small pie classes.<br />
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The reserve supreme champion sausage and winner of the thin pork sausage was Paul Flintoft Butchers, of High Street, Kippax, Leeds.<br />
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Champion black pudding maker was H Weatherhead & Sons Butchers, of Pateley Bridge.<br />
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The beefburger title was awarded to J B Wilkinson & Sons, for its hoisin burger. Wilkinson’s has shops in Otley, Rawdon, Yeadon, Bramhope, Ilkley, Wetherby and Knaresborough.<br />
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Parkin Butchers, which has shops in Epworth, Doncaster, and Crowle, won the speciality sausage class with its tomato and basil sausage.<br />
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Woods Butchers, of Carcroft, Doncaster, won the speciality pie class for the second year running with its pork and leek cold eating pie.<br />
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Some 300 entries from butchers right across the county were received for the 21st annual contest, organised by The Confederation of Yorkshire Butchers Councils and held in Bradford.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">FULL RESULTS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">PIES</span><br />
SUPREME PORK PIE CHAMPION (Ted Jones Supreme Pie Trophy and 1,000 carrier bags): Voakes Pies, Whixley.<br />
RESERVE SUPREME CHAMPION (Willis Hall Cup): Voakes Pies.<br />
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Large pork pie:<br />
1 and the Norman Binks Cup – Voakes Pies<br />
2 H Hofmann & Sons<br />
3 Allums Butchers, Altoft, Normanton.<br />
Highly Commended: Johnsons of Thirsk, Wilsons, Allums of Altoft, Gledhills of Wakefield, Woods.<br />
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Small pork pie:<br />
1 and the Interbake Shield – Voakes Pies<br />
2 Shaun Fairweather Butchers, Mirfield, Dewsbury<br />
3 Ingfield Farm Shop, Southowram, Halifax.<br />
Highly Commended: Hofmann's, Bentley's of Pudsey, Wortley Farm Shop, Woods, JA Mountfield & Son of Bubwith, Wilsons of Crossgates.<br />
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Speciality cold eating pie:<br />
1 and the John Spencer Memorial Trophy – Woods Butchers of Carcroft<br />
2 Voakes Pies<br />
3 Johnsons Butchers, Thirsk.<br />
Highly Commended: Weegmanns of Otley, Middlemiss of Otley, Kendalls of Pateley Bridge, Weatherheads of Pateley Bridge.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SAUSAGES</span><br />
SUPREME SAUSAGE CHAMPION (ACP Shield and Lucas Ingredients products):<br />
H Hofmann & Sons Butchers, Wakefield.<br />
RESERVE SUPREME CHAMPION SAUSAGE (The Devro Quaich - a cup I think):<br />
Paul Flintoft Butchers, Kippax Leeds.<br />
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Thin pork sausage:<br />
1 and the Oris Shield, plus products from WR Wright & Son – Paul Flintoft<br />
2 H Hofmann & Sons<br />
3 Ellisons Butchers, Cullingworth.<br />
Highly Commended: Keelham Hall Farm Shop, Roberts of Oakwood, Weegmanns, Colin Robinson of Grassington.<br />
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Thick pork sausage<br />
1 and the Ripon Select Foods Shield – H Hofmann & Sons<br />
2 Keelham Hall Farm Shop, Thornton, Bradford<br />
3 JB Wilkinson & Sons, Rawdon.<br />
Highly Commended: Beavers of Masham, Ellisons, Ken Balsdon of Summerbridge, Middlemiss.<br />
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Speciality sausage:<br />
1 and the Gordon Rhodes Shield – Parkin Butchers, Epworth, Doncaster<br />
2 H Hofmann & Sons<br />
3 Sutcliffes Butchers, Skipton.<br />
Highly Commended: Kendalls, Roy Dykes of Keighley, Paul Flintoft, Andrews of Wetherby, Keelham Hall Farm Shop.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">BLACK PUDDING</span><br />
1 and the Towers Thompson Trophy, plus donation of Kingdom Striploins from Towers Thompson - H Weatherhead & Sons Butchers, Pateley Bridge<br />
2 Arthur Haigh, Dalton, Thirsk<br />
3 Woods Butchers.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
BEEFBURGER</span><br />
1 and WR Wright & Sons Shield - JB Wilkinson & Sons, Rawdon<br />
2 Wortley Farm Shop, Wortley, Sheffield<br />
3 Weegmanns Butchers, Otley.<br />
Highly Commended: Parkin of Epworth, Roy Dykes, Kendalls, JB Wilkinson & Sons, Oxleys of Leeds.<br />
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<a href="http://www.jlordandson.co.uk/pieMan.gif" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.jlordandson.co.uk/pieMan.gif" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 260px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 231px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">PIES AT THE GROVE - I'LL NEVER LEAVE</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">May 09: The trouble with most pub snacks is that they're not substantial enough. You need a little more on a session - a ham roll, a chip barm or a pie. The Grove, in Huddersfield, has started selling pies, J Lord Pies (sadly not made by the Deep Purple keyboardist Jon Lord: "Would you like a 10-minute baroque organ solo with that pie sir?")<br />
</span><br />
The Grove is famed for its snacks, as well its beers - high-end crisps (sea salt don't you know), crickets and Welsh jerky (not an annoying bloke from Abergavenny).<br />
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But now they've got pies and very good pies too. First of all the meat's not salty, there's no jelly but the meat's moist and has a nice peppery taste and the pastry's light and crunchy.<br />
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J Lord and Son, to give them their full name, are a father and son team from Bradford who started the firm six years ago and are perhaps best known in Huddersfield for their Pie Shed in the market. Dad John is in his sixties and joined the trade when he was 15, although he has done other things since, and the firm prides itself on quality local ingredients.<br />
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<a href="http://www.jlordandson.co.uk/default.htm">J Lord and Son website</a><br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">PORK PIE APPRECIATION SOCIETY PIE OF THE YEAR 2009</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">April 09: Runner-up last year, Hinchliffe's of Netherton, Huddersfield, finished top this year thanks to celebrity judge Pete Waterman (X Factor a few years ago, pork pie judge now - the only way is up).</span><br />
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Hinchliffe's is a fine place - top-quality meat and veg and bottles of real ale are on sale, while outside there are rabbits and llamas to look at (not to eat I should stress). Personally, I prefer Jones of Huddersfield's pies. He was only a finalist this year.<br />
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This is the society's 17th annual contest at the Old Bridge Inn in Ripponden. It's open to all pie-makers, although Yorkshire butchers always dominate.<br />
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Results:<br />
1 Hinchliffe's Farm Shop, Netherton, Huddersfield.<br />
2 Brosters Farm Shop, Lindley, Huddersfield.<br />
3 Bentleys of Pudsey.<br />
4 Wilsons of Leeds.<br />
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Other finalists in no particular order:<br />
Peter Middlemiss, Otley (great butcher); Andrew Jones, Huddersfield; E&R Grange, Slaithwaite, Huddersfield; Ingfield Farm Shop, Southowram, Halifax; Mellors Farm Butchers, Newark.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GREAT YORKSHIRE PORK PIE, SAUSAGE AND PRODUCTS COMPETITION 2008</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 08: Voakes Pies of Whixley near York were the big winners this year taking the small pie and overall pie awards. They make 'em from pigs on their farm. The firm also finished second in the speciality pie class with a pork, chicken and sage & onion combination, and third in the large pork pie class. </span><br />
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The best sausage in Yorkshire is from Ellisons Butchers, of Cullingworth, near Bradford, their thin pork sausage won that class and the supreme championship.<br />
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The best black pudding comes from Kendalls Butchers, in Pateley Bridge.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">FULL RESULTS (300 entries, competition held in Cedar Court Hotel, Bradford):</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">SUPREME PORK PIE CHAMPION</span>, awarded the new Ted Jones Supreme Pie Trophy and 1,000 carrier bags from William Jones Packaging: Voakes Pies, Whixley.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">RESERVE SUPREME CHAMPION</span>, awarded the Willis Hall Cup: Bentleys Butchers, Pudsey.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SUPREME SAUSAGE CHAMPION</span>, awarded the ACP Shield and Lucas Ingredients products: Ellisons Butchers, Cullingworth.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">RESERVE SUPREME CHAMPION</span>, awarded the Devro Quaich (a cup I think): Farmer Copley Farm Shop, Purston, Pontefract.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">PORK PIE CLASSES</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Large pork pie:</span> and the Norman Binks Cup: Bentleys Butchers, Pudsey<br />
2 Woods Butchers, Carcroft, Doncaster<br />
3 Voakes Pies, Whixley.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Small pork pie:</span> and the Interbake Shield plus £100 in gift vouchers: Voakes Pies, Whixley<br />
2 P&I Hopkins Butchers, Birkenshaw, Bradford<br />
3 Gledhills Butchers, Stanley, Wakefield.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Speciality cold eating pie:</span> and the John Spencer Memorial Trophy: Woods Butchers, Carcroft, Doncaster<br />
2 Voakes Pies, Whixley<br />
3 Weegmanns Butchers, Otley.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">SAUSAGE CLASSES</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Thin pork sausage: </span>and the Oris Shield, plus products from W.R. Wright & Son: Ellisons Butchers, Cullingworth<br />
2 Keelham Farm Shop, Thornton, Bradford<br />
3 Paul Flintoft Butchers, Kippax, Leeds.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Thick pork sausage:</span> and the Ripon Select Foods Shield: Paul Flintoft Butchers, Kippax, Leeds<br />
2 Newby Hall Farm Shop, Boroughbridge<br />
3 Bentleys Butchers, Pudsey.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Speciality sausage:</span> and the Gordon Rhodes Shield: Farmer Copley Farm Shop, Purston, Pontefract (free range pork with ginger, chilli and lime, yum!)<br />
2 Keelham Hall Farm Shop, Thornton, Bradford<br />
3 Sutcliffes Butchers, Skipton.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
BLACK PUDDING</span><br />
1 Kendalls Butchers, Pateley Bridge<br />
2 Woods Butchers, Carcroft, Doncaster<br />
3 Weegmanns Butchers, Otley<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
BEEFBURGER</span><br />
1 Sutcliffes Butchers, Skipton<br />
2 Sharlands Butchers, Paddock, Huddersfield<br />
3 Weegmanns Butchers, Otley.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">UK PORK PIE CHAMPIONSHIP 2008 RESULTS</span><br />
(alias Master Pork Pie Maker Competition)<br />
1 ALLUMS BUTCHERS, WAKEFIELD<br />
2 HINCHLIFFES' FARM SHOP, NETHERTON, HUDDS.<br />
3 BROSTER'S FARM SHOP, LINDLEY, HUDDS.<br />
4 MICHAEL THEWILISS, GOLCAR, HUDDS.<br />
47 entrants. Held at Old Bridge Hotel, Ripponden<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">GREAT YORKSHIRE PORK PIE, SAUSAGE AND PRODUCTS COMPETITION 2007</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Nov 07: This is regarded as the World Cup of pies, probably because it's in Yorkshire but also because it's the biggest regional event of its kind with 300 butchers submitting their bangers and growlers for the judges in Bradford.</span><br />
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The supreme pie and supreme sausage awards are the top awards.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Supreme pie award</span> went to Hinchliffes Farm Shop, of Sunny Side Farm, Netherton, near Huddersfield. A family butchers who've been in existence since the 1920s who attract national interest with the quality of their food (mentioned in The Times) and who are former supreme sausage award winners in this competition.<br />
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The <span style="font-weight: bold;">supreme sausage</span> championship winners are Kevin Jubb Butchers, of Little Lane, Ilkley.<br />
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The best <span style="font-weight: bold;">black pudding</span> in Yorkshire came from Arthur Haigh Butchers of Dalton Airfield Industrial Estate, in Thirsk.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Best beefburger</span> from Sutcliffes Butchers, of Skipton.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">FULL RESULTS:</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">SUPREME PORK PIE CHAMPION</span>, awarded the Bob Thirsk Rose Bowl and 1,000 carrier bags (!) from William Jones Packaging – Hinchliffes Farm Shop, Netherton.<br />
RESERVE SUPREME CHAMPION, awarded the Willis Hall Cup (of Billy Liar fame) – Woods Butchers, of Carcroft, Doncaster.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">SUPREME SAUSAGE CHAMPION</span>, awarded the ACP Packaging Shield and Lucas Ingredients products – Kevin Jubb Butchers, Ilkley.<br />
RESERVE SUPREME CHAMPION, awarded the Devro Quaich – Elite Meats, Harrogate.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">PORK PIE CLASSES</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Large pork pie:</span> 1 and the Norman Binks Cup – Hinchliffes Farm Shop, 2 Woods Butchers, 3 P&I Hopkins, Birkenshaw, Bradford.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Small pork pie:</span> 1 and the Interbake Shield – Woods Butchers, 2 H Weatherhead & Sons, Pateley Bridge, 3 George Middlemiss & Son, Otley.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Speciality cold eating pie:</span> 1 and the John Spencer Memorial Trophy – Woods Butchers, 2 Brosters Farm Shop, Lindley Moor, Huddersfield, 3 H Weatherhead & Sons.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
SAUSAGE CLASSES</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Thin pork sausage:</span> 1 and the Oris Shield, plus products from WR Wright & Son – Kevin Jubb Butchers, Ilkley, 2 Keelham Farm Shop, Thonton, Bradford, 3 John Oxley Butchers, Leeds<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Thick pork sausage:</span> 1 and the Ripon Select Foods Shield – Elite Meats, 2 Hinchliffes Farm Shop, 3 Paul Flintoft, Kippax, Leeds.<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Speciality sausage:</span> 1 and the Gordon Rhodes Shield – Farmer Copley, Purston, Pontefract, 2 Elite Meats, 3 Keelham Hall Farm Shop.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">BLACK PUDDING</span><br />
1 and the Confederation Shield - Arthur Haigh, Dalton, Thirsk, 2 Woods Butchers, Doncaster 3 Drake & Macefield Butchers, Skipton.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">BEEFBURGER</span><br />
1 and WR Wright & Sons Shield, plus product donation by Towers Thompson – Sutcliffes Butchers, Skipton, 2 R Illingworth Butchers, East Keswick, 3 Elite Meats, Harrogate.<br />
<br />
Results from the competition website. The event's organised by Confederation of Yorkshire Butchers Councils<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>ALLERGIC TO TRIPE - AFTER A LIFETIME OF EATING IT</b><br />
</span><b>Sept 07: A man who attained TV fame for eating vast quantities of tripe has become allergic to the offal.</b><br />
<br />
Mike Madden, 51, from Honley, Huddersfield, used to eat tripe - animals' stomachs - almost every night. But last week, as he tucked into his favourite dish, he felt a tingling and soreness in his mouth. It passed after a few days, but when he tried to eat tripe again, the problem returned.<br />
<br />
A visit to his doctor confirmed that Mike had developed an allergy to the foodstuff.<br />
<br />
He said: “I’m devastated. I must have eaten about 1,000lbs of the stuff since I started my exploits and my body’s just rejecting it now.”<br />
<br />
Mike used to eat so much tripe that Queensgate Market shop Quality Butchers sponsored him for his various stunts. At every TV show or magazine shoot, he had to eat at least 2lb of tripe – and at £1.50 a pound, it was costing him a packet.<br />
<br />
Mike’s passion for tripe has seen him eat the delicacy on The Big Breakfast, appear at the 1996 Comic Relief show with Dame Edna Everage and The Spice Girls and he’s even been on German and American TV screens.<br />
<br />
He claims the offal, which he eats raw with vinegar, is low fat and is even great for hangovers.<br />
<br />
<i>Mr Madden is also an inventor who's developed a weather hat, a TV aerial hat, a portable bird-feeder and a fish walker</i><br />
<br />
From Huddersfield Examiner<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>UK PORK PIE CHAMPIONSHIP 2007 RESULTS</b><br />
</span>1 Wilson's of Crossgates, Leeds<br />
2 Broster's Farm Shop, Outlane, Huddersfield<br />
3 Michael Thewliss, Golcar, Huddersfield<br />
4 Eddie Grange and Son, Slaithwaite, Huddersfield<br />
(53 entrants)<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.huddcoll.ac.uk/news/displayblob.asp?select=238"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.huddcoll.ac.uk/news/displayblob.asp?select=238" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">LARD VADER</span></b><br />
<b>Feb 2007: A Huddersfield lecturer has won a medal for making a sculpture of Darth Vader out of fat.</b><br />
<br />
Gary Schofield, 33 from Holmfirth, was awarded the silver medal in the 'Works in Fat' category at the National Hospitality Show in Birmingham.<br />
<br />
Chefs from all over the country competed to create a decorative work in fat with the entries being judged on creativity, workmanship, degree of difficulty and presentation.<br />
<br />
It took Gary 24 hours over four days to carve Darth Vader out of a special type of fat which can stay solid for up two years. Lard Vader will now form a buffet centrepiece at Huddersfield Technical College where Gary teaches the Advanced Culinary Diploma.<br />
<br />
He has previously won medals for his fat carvings of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.<br />
<br />
Info/pic: Huddersfield Technical College<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.greenhalghs.com/images/potato&meatpie%20small.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.greenhalghs.com/images/potato&meatpie%20small.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">VEGETARIANS ALLOWED IN PIE EATING CHAMPIONSHIP</span></b><br />
<b>The World Pie Eating Championship has dramatically changed its rules this year. </b><br />
<br />
Instead of scoffing as many meat and potato growlers as possible within three minutes, contestants will have to eat one single pie quickly. There will also be a separate competition for vegetarians.<br />
<br />
Organisers of the championships, which will be held at Harry's Bar, in Wigan, on December 13, say they have taken a leaf out of the government's healthy eating plan.<br />
<br />
Bar owner Tony Callaghan said: "I realise it may be controversial, but this is the way forward for pie-eating at this level.<br />
<br />
"We have also bowed to relentless pressure from the Vegetarian Society and agreed to introduce a vegetarian option to the competition, although vegetarian pie-eaters in the competition will be allowed to eat a slightly smaller version because of its rather more glutinous content.<br />
<br />
"However, we will not preclude competitors from entering both championships - so there is every possibility we will have a double world champion for the first time ever."<br />
<br />
But previous winner Dave Smyth, from Hindley, who won the first contest in 1992 when he ate four pies in three minutes was unhappy, saying: "Pies are supposed to be meat and potato and anything else just isn't normal."<br />
<br />
Mr Callaghan said that entries for the contest on December 13 are invited from all over the world but early indications suggest that the competitor travelling the furthest comes from Ashton-in-Makerfield, about five miles away.<br />
<br />
The cooked dimensions of the traditional meat and potato pie need to ensure a<br />
diameter of 12cm and a depth of 3.5cm, and a pie wall angle from base to top of<br />
between zero and 15 degrees. The vegetarian option will be 10cm by 3cm.<br />
<br />
Info: Wigan Observer/Manchester Evening News. Pie pic: Greenhalgh's from (sorry) Bolton but they do make lovely savouries<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>THE 2006 GREAT YORKSHIRE PORK PIE, SAUSAGE AND PRODUCTS COMPETITION </b><br />
</span><i>'The World Cup of pies'</i><br />
<br />
<b>Best pork pie:</b> H Hofmann & Sons, Wakefield<br />
<b>Runner-up for best pork pie (Willis Hall Cup for pork pie excellence):</b> Wilson’s Butchers, Crossgates, Leeds<br />
<b>Small pork pie:</b> Wilson’s Butchers, Crossgates, Leeds<br />
<b>Supreme champion sausage: </b>George Middlemiss & Son, Otley<br />
<b>Best thin pork sausage:</b> George Middlemiss & Son, Otley<br />
<b>Runner-up for supreme champion sausage:</b> Hinchliffes Farm Shop, Netherton, Huddersfield<br />
<b>Black pudding: </b>Woods, Carcroft, Doncaster<br />
<b>Burger: </b>Kendall’s Butchers, Pateley Bridge<br />
<br />
Hofmann's beat 300 butchers to win the title. Butcher Nigel Hofmann told the Wakefield Express: "It's like winning the World Cup. It's a big trophy." The Express says there's been a run on his "growlers" since the result was announced.<br />
<br />
Willis Hall, co-author of Billy Liar, was a judge at the first competition in 1988 and as the Yorkshire Evening Post says: "He went onto pass judgment over many more pies before his death 18 months ago." A cup was named in his honour at this year's show in Bradford.<br />
<br />
Results from Meatnews.com<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://static.flickr.com/54/144712820_ff9c9a23fc_m.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://static.flickr.com/54/144712820_ff9c9a23fc_m.jpg" style="float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">DOCK PUDDING</span></b><br />
<b>More than 100 people came from miles around for a taste of Doris Hirst's world championship-winning dock pudding at Cragg Vale, near Hebden Bridge, last month (May 2006).</b><br />
<br />
Dock pudding is a distinctive West Yorkshire dish apparently only found in the Calder Valley and is made from dock leaves, nettles, oatmeal, onions, butter and seasoning. The dock leaves used are a sweet variety and not the ones for dealing with nettles and the pudding is served with bacon and eggs.Locals say the tradition goes back to the poverty-stricken 19th century.<br />
<br />
Mytholmroyd Community & Leisure Centre has hosted the World Dock Pudding Championship every year since 1971.<br />
<br />
In 2004 it was won by vegetarian chef Jetta from Hebden Bridge. There was a flurry of letters to the Hebden Bridge Times outraged because the dish is not vegetarian - “bacon is an essential ingredient” it was claimed. Jetta wrote back saying that "40% of the population of Hebden Bridge is vegetarian. We must move with the times or the tradition will die".<br />
<br />
Traditional Recipe (although world champions always have a secret ingredient):<br />
2 lb fresh, sweet variety dock leaves (polygonum distorta)<br />
2 large onions, or 2 large bunches of spring onions<br />
½ lb nettles<br />
A handful of oatmeal<br />
A knob of butter<br />
Salt and pepper to taste<br />
<br />
Wash and clean the dock leaves and remove the stalks<br />
Wash and clean the nettles<br />
Chop the onions<br />
Fry the vegetables in the butter until tender<br />
Add the oatmeal and cook for about 20 minutes, stirring to prevent the mixture from sticking.<br />
<br />
Sources: Calderdale Online, BBC, Hebden Bridge Times, Hebweb<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<li><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/gruts/">Thanks to Richard Carter on Flickr for the pic</a></li><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40947000/jpg/_40947265_porkpie_cake203.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40947000/jpg/_40947265_porkpie_cake203.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>UK PORK PIE CHAMPIONSHIP RESULTS 2006:</b><br />
</span><b>1 Hinchliffe's Farm Shop, Netherton, Huddersfield<br />
2 George Middlemiss, Otley<br />
3 JP Cryer, Halifax<br />
4 Wilson's of Crossgates, Leeds.</b><br />
<br />
The 14th annual championship was organised by the Pork Pie Appreciation Society and held at the Old Bridge Inn, Ripponden, in March. Sixty pie makers took part.<br />
<br />
Other finalists from the Huddersfield area were Andrew Jones, of Brighouse and Marsh, and Michael Thewlis from Golcar.<br />
<br />
Hinchliffe's baked this special wedding pie (pictured) for a founder member of the Pork Pie Appreciation Society in Huddersfield last year.<br />
<br />
Sources: Huddersfield Examiner/BBCOlthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1146756673170256882012-03-06T11:50:00.000+00:002014-10-03T15:23:10.824+01:00MITHERING: Moans, rants, whinges<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >F1 - GLORIFIED KWIK FIT</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">One of the poster adverts for Sky's new F1 channel sums up the 'sport' - a man about to change a tyre.</span><br />
<br />
F1 is glorified Kwik Fit where tyre changes, types of tyres, engines and other technical jiggery-pokery determine who wins rather than the skills of the sportsman.<br />
<br />
Why is F1 so popular and why does it get so much attention?<br />
<br />
I've been to Oulton Park motor racing track and understand the excitement of watching and hearing two vehicles tearing around and trying to overtake each other. I've watched motorcycling races where the bikes are almost horizontal and the competitors are almost brushing their knees and elbows on the track.<br />
<br />
But F1? The thrill of motorsport is one competitor racing past the other. In F1, this rarely happens. If one team has a technical edge, there is nothing the drivers of the rival teams can do.<br />
<br />
It's like one football team having the equivalent of Billy's Boots from the Eagle comic without the charm.<br />
<br />
Add to this the largely personality-free, overpaid drivers and the horrible 'pit babes' atmosphere. It all makes F1 possibly the worst sport on TV and radio.<br />
<br />
Thank goodness the BBC has given some of it up so it can carry on spending money on its local radio commentaries on rugby league and football - now they are genuinely exciting sports.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51UH-3Gs9DL._SL500_AA300_.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 300px; height: 300px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51UH-3Gs9DL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>ALAN TITCHMARSH</strong><br />
</span><strong>I came across the most unappealing book title in WH Smith - When I Was A Nipper by Alan Titchmarsh. A quick flick through revealed it to be the biggest load of sepia-tinted hardship drivel I've seen in a long time.<br />
</strong><br />
The blurb reads 'Born in Yorkshire in 1949, Alan remembers a time of relative calm, when it was enough to return home at night knowing that the house would still be standing'.<br />
<br />
Yes it's terrible nowadays. You can't go out for 10 minutes without these gangs of hoodies demolishing your house and taking it away for scrap.<br />
<br />
And notice the irrelevant Yorkshire reference. Is Alan trying to take Parky's title of Top Professional Yorkshireman?<br />
<br />
All the cliches are in there - outside toilets (it was cold in February), Sunday best, kids playing safely on the street, love of queuing. In fact the book seems to be a big list, although Alan does reveal some personal details such as when he was a teenager and girls were 'even more important than gardening'. I bet he was the Eric Olthwaite of horticulture.<br />
<br />
Then he later reveals that 'Kath and I were regular clients of Dolly and Simpson on Blackpool beach'. Dolly and Sampson were donkeys and Alan charmingly remembers how the donkeys would go at the same pace now matter how hard you kicked them.<br />
<br />
The subtitle of the book is 'The Way We Were in Disappearing Britain'. If Britain was disappearing then, has it completely disappeared now?<br />
<br />
Ice cream vans, conkers, harvest festivals are all featured in the book. But aren't they still around now?<br />
<br />
Perhaps worst of all Titchmarsh tries to make a virtue of this 'poor but happy' world. The blurb says it's a 'timely call to all recession-hit Brits to heed the lessons of austerity Britain: make do and mend, look on the bright side and take the knocks on the chin'. </div><br />
Hurrah! I've still got a smile on my face even though I've lost my job and I'll tell you why. See these trousers? I knitted them myself.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >IN PRAISE OF JONATHAN ROSS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
<br />
I CAN’T believe people are whingeing about Jonathan Ross, a truly original and witty broadcaster and a sad loss for the BBC.<br />
<br />
You only have to remember the excruciating Parkinson, with his long-winded questions that even he looked bored by, and Wogan, with his unfunny smarminess, to realise that Ross was a breath of fresh air – a quick-witted performer who established a real rapport with most of his guests and members of the public.<br />
<br />
Only a humourless prude or the Daily Mail could describe Ross as crude – he had a Carry On-style humour leavened with self-deprecation and a real affection for women, unlike some of the laddish boors.<br />
<br />
As for his salary, which included costs for his production team, no-one seems to complain about Wogan, the most overrated broadcaster ever, and charmless Jeremy Clarkson.<br />
<br />
Do you think the licence fee will go down now Ross has gone? No, it’ll stay the same and we’ll get a load of bland presenters who don’t offend the professional whingers.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">GYMS - FIX IT</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">I've been to several gyms over the years, in an attempt to keep my vast arse in check and make more room for cakes and ale, and all of them have one thing in common - dreadful, bovine dance music.</span><br />
<br />
Most of the songs seem to be one or two of the same notes on a synth, a woman saying 'rhythm', 'Hey DJ, 'Take me higher', 'Everybody' in various combinations, and underneath most of the songs the 'Huh/Yehs' from It Takes Two To Make a Thing Go Right.<br />
<br />
One song has the lyric 'What more can I say, you take my breath away' and even though the singer admits she has nothing to say, she goes on and on and on.<br />
<br />
I don't have an iPod (I like to have my wits about me in public) and I'm not sure it would drown out the gymnausea.<br />
<br />
I have thought about asking the staff to change the music, but I fear the tanned and toned gods and goddesses will look at me like a mad dad complaining about The Sweet's hair on Top of the Pops.<br />
<br />
There are plenty of uptempo numbers suitable for gyms - Weddoes' Kennedy for running, Maceo and the Macks' Cross the Tracks for cycling, Elmore James for sit-ups. Come on gyms - fix it!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >MIKA - WHY?</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Can anyone explain the appeal of Mika? He may be a kiddy's entertainer, with his cartoon expressions and loud clothes, but why is he so successful?</span><br />
<br />
I saw him on Jonathan Ross looking like Zoolander's brother, performing something which sounded like Fame crossed with Springtime for Hitler, in a voice that occasionally lurched into a car alarm squeal, with lyrics that either had been randomly generated by monkeys: 'Teenage dream is a teenage circus' or by the Ood: 'We are not who you think we are'.<br />
<br />
And he can't say golden ('gowl-din')<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >PROFESSIONAL NORTHERNERS</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">1 Parkinson </span>"I'm not the type to get a knighthood as I come from Barnsley".<br />
Eeeeeh!<br />
"Why would I not accept the knighthood? Are you joking, someone from Barnsley? I love being Sir Michael."<br />
Ooooh!<br />
He lives in Bray, Berkshire.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >2 Geoffrey Boycott</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Big hat. Shouty voice. I never hit that woman, the French courts were to blame.<br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >3 Yorkshire Cricket Club</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> It's Trueman v Close v Boycott v Illingworth. Notorious big(heads) in epic bickering fest.<br />
<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" >4 Alan Bennett</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> We went to a cafe in Keighley to avoid the drizzle but they'd done it up and it was all herbal teas. Mam asked for something soft as her teeth were playing up.<br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:100%;" ><br />
5 Cilla Black</span><span style="font-size:100%;"> Hat check girl in the Cavern. Brian Epstein. The Beatles. Look at me HURRRR, I've had it cut.<br />
Lives in London.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">6 Ian McMillan</span> Lion-faced rhymester, beloved by the Lavinias who control Radio 4 when they realise they need a token Northerner on their pompous quiz shows.<br />
Straight outta Baaaaaarnsley!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">7 Barrie Rutter and Northern Broadsides Theatre Company </span>Eeeh, it's t' Shakespeare in t'Northern accents.<br />
T' be or not t'be, tha knows<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">8 Me</span><br />
Moaning, cynical and surly, just like proper Northerners are supposed to be.<br />
Tutting at "fancy London ways" even though I've lived there, thought it was a good place and most of the people were friendly<br />
Putting on a strong Northern accent when workmen are in the house.<br />
</span><br />
<br />
</a><br />
</span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >PARKINSON</span><br />
"Can I just ask you...er..what do you think when you're going up for an award, any award, whether it's big..or...or..small and you suddenly look down...and..er..you've just noticed your shoes aren't cleaned or...or.. your trousers aren't pressed...I mean what is that like? What does that..er..feel like exactly?"<br />
<br />
Parky, Parky, Parky - he may have been big in the seventies when he had massive stars letting rip, but he's ended up as some mumbling, long-winded professional Yorkshireman who's barely interested in his own questions let alone the answers from his guests, sitting knee to knee to them while he looks down at his shoes, acting as a straight man with feed lines for the comedians and revealing nothing of interest about his other guests.<br />
<br />
And he has the cheek to criticise Jonathan Ross, who apart from the occasional sycophancy towards big American stars, has a genuinely exciting and funny show.<br />
<br />
Bye-bye Parky.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Camra fundamentalists</span></strong><br />
<em>Whingeing bores give real ale a bad name</em><br />
Two years ago I was serving behind the bar at the Huddersfield Beer Festival when the club we were in decided to show an important England football match. There was no sound, it was unobtrusive and several drinkers started watching. Just then, a man who looked like an extra from a pirate movie who had forgotten to take his blood pressure tablets, shouted: 'The whole festival is ruined'. What?!<br />
<br />
Sadly this is typical of the Camra fundamentalist, who thinks a TV and a jukebox shouldn't belong in a pub so everyone can hear them bellow their opinions about the legality of ordering a third of a pint of beer.<br />
<br />
They sit at the bar like limpets, trying to catch the landlord out with their knowledge of Maris hops while blocking the bar so others can't see what beers are on.<br />
<br />
And they drone on about the importance of a full pint - which pub has ever refused to top a pint up and who says filling a pint to the very top is so good? They give all Camra members a reputation for nitpicking jobworthiness.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>STYLE MAGS (AND ROBERT ELMS)</strong><br />
</span><strong>I Taught Men To Turn Over A New Page - that was the headline on a recent Observer piece "celebrating" the 20th anniversary of Arena magazine, in which founder Nick Logan "changed the face of magazine publishing".</strong><br />
<br />
What a load of old cobblers! I remember buying one of the first Arena mags - it was 40 pages of suits, 10 pages about caneoing up the Amazon, 5 pages of £800 corkscrews and an interview with a boring model.<br />
<br />
Nothing about interesting women (or indeed relationships), little about music, sport, television or film - a magazine for the vain boss classes, whacking off in front of their mirrors in their Hugo Boss suits.<br />
<br />
Logan reckons it was the first men's magazine which wasn't top shelf or specialist but I didn't know any men who liked it - even in London.<br />
<br />
Once the mainstream media decide something is trendy and brilliant, no dissenting voices are heard and so, 20 years on, it appears that history records that Arena and its ilk were a fantastic success, even though the articles were overlong and humourless and the photographs were mannered - usually pictures of a ludicrous clotheshorse looking miserable because his flat was so minimalist he had nothing to sit on.<br />
<br />
The clotheshorse was sometimes Robert Elms.<br />
<br />
Ah Elms - the man who once went on Channel 4's The Tube in the mid-80s to explain the importance of having red stitching inside your jeans, even though no-one can see the stitching. When challenged about the stupidity of his comment, he called everyone "northern scum".<br />
<br />
Showing that criticising fashionable clothes is the last great taboo in the media (as fashion ads bring in shedloads of cash and some rich folk have more money than sense) Elms has had a successful career, culminating this year in his book about his clothes.<br />
<br />
This includes a story of how his gang of QPR-supporting mates saw off a gang from Coventry because the Midlanders' clothes were one month out of date.<br />
<br />
Here's an extract (from The Guardian): "Some of Coventry's top boys were sporting Fila, which had gone out of fashion in London at least a month before.<br />
Instead of launching ourselves at them, we were lambasting them for such gauche sartorial tardiness. As it dawned on them they'd been outdone in the style stakes, you could see their will for the contest wane. They'd been beaten and they knew it."<br />
<br />
Three things here:<br />
1 The depressing importance of inanimate objects over people which persists today. The fact you couldn't give a flying fork about anyone - their morals, their beliefs - just their shirts.<br />
<br />
2 The use of the phrase "gauche sartorial tardiness". Elms has obviously been to his Thesaurus for the most inappropriate and outlandish alternative for "one month out of date".<br />
<br />
3 The implausibility of the whole situation. As if some football hooligans are going to pull out of a fight because of their clothes, especially when they see Elms' gurning face.<br />
"Er Gaz let's sort this QPR scum."<br />
"Hang on Baz, look at our shirts - with this gauche sartorial tardiness we haven't got a chance."<br />
<br />
Elms' excuse for being interested in clothes is that it's "a working class thing" - like being working class is free pass to tw*tdom.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Grunting gym weightlifters</strong><br />
</span><strong>NYAAAAAARGH! Hey Mr Steroid no-neck, who are trying to impress bellowing like a buffalo that's been bitten in the balls?</strong><br />
<br />
If it's too heavy, put it down. We don't care if you're lifting a supermarket, just shut up you chump!<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="font-size:130%;">People who say 'Political correctness gone mad'</span></strong><br />
<strong>Really mean they can't be as racist as they were before so they invent stories about black bin bags offending people.</strong><br />
<br />
Would you say cripple anymore? Well you can thank political correctness for that!<br />
<br />
And as it's no longer politically correct to say political correct, call it good manners or respect for others.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.bradford.ac.uk/admin/pr/pressreleases/2003/blessed.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; width: 200px;" alt="" src="http://www.bradford.ac.uk/admin/pr/pressreleases/2003/blessed.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>Lord of the Rings</strong><br />
</span><strong>Overlong battle scenes, in which the goodies always beat overwhelming odds, punctuated by earnest discussions about whether the elves will help, or the goblins, or the dwarves, or Mr Wobbly from Wibbly Land.</strong><br />
<br />
Or maybe the tall trees can defeat Christopher Lee. Ooooh, the tall trees are going to save us from Christopher Lee!<br />
<br />
And who are all these characters - Orlando Bland, what does he do again?<br />
<br />
It's all completely humourless and is desperately in need of Brian Blessed SHOUTING LIKE HE DID IN FLASH GORDON. "HAWKMEN, DIIIIIIVE!" (When he was in his patrol car in Z Cars did he shout: "POLICEMAN, DRIIIIIVE!"?)<br />
<br />
Lord of the Rings also needs editing but that would offend the prog-rock geeks who like it. Give me a Ray Harryhausen monster film any day.<br />
<br />
Incidentally Tolkien was a real ale drinker (probably) as he used to meet CS Lewis in the Eagle and Child in Oxford (a Good Beer Guide pub). Despite supping quaffable ale all they could produce was second rate Greek myths and second rate fairy stories.<br />
Blessed picture: Bradford University<br />
Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-11803359881672068592012-01-10T13:00:00.000+00:002012-03-09T08:11:58.927+00:00ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2542/5810144128_8d943fa17d_z.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 440px;" src="http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2542/5810144128_8d943fa17d_z.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5144/5810141560_4c18250041_z.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 440px;" src="http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5144/5810141560_4c18250041_z.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Jan 12: One of the greatest art exhibitions is about to end. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jaume Plensa's </span>amazing work is on display at the Yorkshire Sculpture Park until January 22. <br /><br />Huge heads are cast in stone, plastic and wire. The eyes usually closed. Are they asleep or dead? <br /><br />The stone figures look like they are made of marble and are beautifully lit - they look as though they are about to move so it's hard to move away.<br /><br />The plastic ones appear equally restful but have words like 'stress' on them. Perhaps they represent people putting on a front to hide the chaos of their lives. Plensa also uses sound - gongs and tinkling lines of poetry, the latter utterly complelling to look at and to listen to. <br /><br />The wire sculptures meanwhile are postioned so they look different from different angles. This is one of the most memorable exhibitions I've ever seen. Don't miss it.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQFWRs4NZ93t681Zabz8cF6-L6-9diZBB-dhthgHnp9HCl791C2"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 181px; height: 278px;" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQFWRs4NZ93t681Zabz8cF6-L6-9diZBB-dhthgHnp9HCl791C2" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9orP8k6remxKD7FxruyVLvW0RbRMWb7yZ2aZEafwftUQGdsuqHQ"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 182px; height: 277px;" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9orP8k6remxKD7FxruyVLvW0RbRMWb7yZ2aZEafwftUQGdsuqHQ" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://light-house.co.uk/files/2010/04/R-Haines-Book-cover_sm3.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 410px; height: 200px;" src="http://light-house.co.uk/files/2010/04/R-Haines-Book-cover_sm3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ROBERT HAINES</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 11: I recently bought Robert Haines' remarkable book, Once Upon a Time in Wales, featuring photos he took in 1971 of the people in the village of Heolgerrig and nearby Merthyr Tydfil.</span><br /><br />The book features superb black and white photos, mainly of men aged 40 plus, with mini-bios of each person. They look wistful and intense and, judging by their faces, their hard lives have taken their toll.<br /><br />Some of them ('Moses the Mouth Organ') remind me of characters in Under Milk Wood.<br /><br />Some of the houses look as though they haven't been changed in over 100 years and Haines captures the village as it was about to change. Houses and pubs were swept away in the years that followed.<br /><br />My dad knew the Merthyr area well as a kid and maybe I can some of him in some of the faces in the book.<br /><p><span style="font-weight: bold;">Once Upon a Time in Wales</span> was published by Dewi Lewis Publishing of the UK and is available to order from all bookshops ISBN: 978-1-904587-57-6</p><p>Thanks to Robert for allowing me to use the pics.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >MY FLICKR TOP 10 (JANUARY 2011)</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I'm about to become a Flickr 'amateur' again. I paid to be a 'pro' for a year but I think the only advantage of this is a ranking system for most popular pics. Also, I've slightly lost interest in Flickr.</span><br /><br />There are too many pics are praised for the way they've been done up afterwards. A good pic for me is what you see there and then, otherwise the scenes lack truth.<br /><br />And there are too many earnest blokes trying to outdo each other for camera kit and making up petty rules for their various photo categories.<br /><br />Also I just haven't got the time to flick through all the Grim Up North pics every day<br /><br />So I decided to list most popular photos now while I have the chance. Would it be one of my many sunset pics perhaps? No - it's Michael Foot's Donkey Jacket, with 351 views in 10 months. A quickly taken snap in a museum on my phone that appears to be popular on Google images.<br /><br />Here are my top 10 with blurb:<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">1 Michael Foot's Donkey Jacket (351 views. Taken March 2010)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/4459812122/" title="Michael Foot's 'donkey jacket' by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4034/4459812122_cce6d9fcf1.jpg" alt="Michael Foot's 'donkey jacket'" width="205" height="400" /></a><br />This is the 'donkey jacket' that Michael Foot wore at a Remembrance Day service in the early 80s. It was bought in Harrods.<br /><br />It's slightly galling that he was so villified then and has been almost universally praised since he died.<br /><br />His manifesto of 1983 - dubbed the longest suicide note by Gerald Kaufman (the man who claimed £8,865 for a TV on expenses) - included policies to set up a national investment bank, the scrapping nuclear weapons and the sale of council houses, restoring the link to pensions and earnings, reversing nationalisation of British Telecom, introduction of a minimum wage and stopping hunting. Mmm..sounds reasonable now.<br /><br />Michael Foot's coat is among the artefacts on show at the People's History Museum in Manchester. RIP Mr Foot.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">2 Best pub in Leeds 221 views, June 2008</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/2578639800/" title="Best pub in Leeds by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3279/2578639800_c966384e7a.jpg" alt="Best pub in Leeds" width="400" height="275" /></a><br /><br />One room reminds me of Great Aunty Mary's lounge, with its tasselled lamps and armchair, another room has wooden seats which give me pins and needles in my balls, yet another room has a wood-burning fire and a cashpoint machine, and the fourth is a concert room where old men sing older folk songs.<br /><br />The Highland Terrier with the Hannibal Lecter mask appears to have passed on, but John the landlord who occasionally looks hangdog is still there and so are the pints of Moorhouses, Elland and other good beers.<br /><br />Shake a fist at the monstrous offices which hem it in and prevent the pub festival from taking place. I saw the great Mik Artistik here, drawing portraits on paper bags and singing a blues song about his daughter selling shoes.<br /><br />The Grove is a great boozer and is a former Leeds Camra pub of the year.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">3 Ilkley Beer Festival (187 views, March 2008)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/2254999070/" title="Ilkley beer festival by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2207/2254999070_e708dbb348.jpg" alt="Ilkley beer festival" width="275" height="400" /></a><br />The First Ilkley Beer Festival, in the Kings Hall, with its lovely wedding-cake-icing balconies. Old Spot is a brewery from Cullingworth, Bradford<br /><br />Beer Festival review:<br /><a href="http://ericolthwaite.blogspot.com/2006/12/beer.html">Olthwaite</a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">4 Vomit at the Royal Festival Hall (180 views, October 2007)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/1570077462/" title="Vomit at the Royal Festival Hall by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2121/1570077462_82c45973d2.jpg" alt="Vomit at the Royal Festival Hall" width="400" height="275" /></a><br />Klaus Weber’s sculpture The Big Giving outside the Royal Festival Hall in London.<br /><br />The blurb: 'A group of male and female figures are cast rising out of, or simultaneously sinking into volcanic-looking mounds of rock. Their heads and hands protrude from the stone and streams of water gush from a different body part on each figure. The title of the work, The Big Giving refers to the native North American potlatch ceremony, in which the host’s status increases the more he or she gives.'<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">5 You Get a Better Class of Graffiti in Huddersfield (161 views, July 2008)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/2699923338/" title="You get a better class of graffiti in Huddersfield by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3133/2699923338_578c532c95_m.jpg" alt="You get a better class of graffiti in Huddersfield" width="205" height="122" /></a><br />Someone was scrawling this in the gents of the Star Inn, in Lockwood, Huddersfield, as I walked in during the splendid summer beer festival. I only know Leonard's Tower of Song LP. Was this from his real ale period? Cameraphone.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6 Former Courage Brewery (145 views, October 2007)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/2093781532/" title="Former Courage brewery by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2017/2093781532_5eb1699dc3.jpg" alt="Former Courage brewery" width="275" height="400" /></a><br />The former Anchor Brewhouse, once owned by Courage, near Tower Bridge. Brewing started on this site in 1787, the building was turned into flats in 1985. Scottish and Newcastle sold Courage earlier this year to focus on lager brands (Sigh!)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />7 Going Nowhere (135 views, May 2007)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/516244867/" title="Going nowhere by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm1.static.flickr.com/201/516244867_79b15e5b5b.jpg" alt="Going nowhere" width="320" height="240" /></a><br />Hawes station on the old Wensleydale line, between Northallerton and Garsdale, that closed to passengers in 1954 (although the Hawes to Garsdale section remained open until 1959). A 17-mile stretch of the line has been reopened east of Hawes between Leeming Bar and Redmire and there are hopes of restoring the whole 40-mile line. The station is now a museum and tourist information centre and the tracks only run the length of the platform. Cameraphone pic<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8 West Riding Refreshment Rooms (129 views, August 2008)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/2723332822/" title="West Riding Refreshment Rooms by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/2723332822_be42c35309.jpg" alt="West Riding Refreshment Rooms" width="400" height="269" /></a><br />This splendid pub opened in 1994 in the former waiting rooms of Dewsbury Station.<br /><br />The sign on the left is from Wilsons Brewery, from Manchester - chess board logo, nice beer. According to the quaffale website, the brewery closed in 1987 and the brand died out in 1998 (thought it was a lot sooner to be honest).<br /><br />The black and white sign refers to Kirklees Camra's second beer festival, or real ale exhibition, as it was known then (not sure of year)<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9 Spot the ball (118 views, January 2008)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/2222946405/" title="Spot the ball by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2203/2222946405_9a241e3c3a.jpg" alt="Spot the ball" width="275" height="400" /></a><br />Richard and his dad watch Otley (in the black and white) beat Halifax at Illingworth, Halifax.<br /><br />The winger (far touchline) wore trousers but he did kick some crucial touchline conversions and anyway, as Ripping Yarns fans know, it's not shorts that matter, it's what's INSIDE that matters!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />10 Three Pigeons (108 views, May 2008)</span><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/2483985912/" title="Three Pigeons by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3105/2483985912_065baca892.jpg" alt="Three Pigeons" width="275" height="400" /></a><br />The lovely Three Pigeons pub in Halifax, which won the national CAMRA/English Heritage Conservation award in 2007. Its art deco features and tiled fireplaces have been spruced up by Ossett Brewery who have kept the four-room structure.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/EXCITING_GLOBAL_CHANGES.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 212px;" src="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/EXCITING_GLOBAL_CHANGES.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >PETER BROOK RIP</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 09: One of the most talented and underrated landscape painters, Peter Brook, has died at the age of 81.</span><br /><br />He was superb at capturing winter scenes of West and North Yorkshire - just the snow, the stone walls, a farmhouse and the wonderful light at this time of year. There is also usually a man in a flat cap with a collie dog in his pictures, depictions of Mr Brook and his dog. They are like his signature and usually raise a smile - the dog eager, the man hunched over against the elements.<br /><br />His pictures are deceptively simple but beautifully observed.<br /><br />Mr Brook was born in Scholes, west Yorkshire, and became a teacher in Rastrick, settling in Brighouse. He held his first show in Wakefield in 1960 and became a member of the Royal Society of British Artists. His work was exhibited around the world.<br /><br />I first came across his work in the <a href="http://www.northerngalleries.co.uk/www.northerngalleries.co.uk/info.php?p=2">AC Gallery in Byram St Huddersfield</a> which sells his paintings, mugs, books and calendars (well worth getting this Christmas).<br /><br />His paintings are also available to buy at <a href="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/print_thumbs.html">his website</a><br /><br />There is an exhibition of his paintings at Harrison Lord Gallery, in Bradford Road, Brighouse this month.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/AT%20FIRST%20RAIN.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 318px;" src="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/AT%20FIRST%20RAIN.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/walking%20in%20the%20dales%20v2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 294px;" src="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/walking%20in%20the%20dales%20v2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/watching-snow-drop-softly.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 156px;" src="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/watching-snow-drop-softly.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/STOP%20HERE%20ON%20RED.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 396px;" src="http://www.peterbrookart.co.uk/cgi-bin/printspb/images/STOP%20HERE%20ON%20RED.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >MARSDEN MOODS</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 09: One of my pics is in a new collection of photographs by Flickr-ites in the Marsden area.</span><br /><br />I know I'm biased but the book, Marsden Moods, is a stunning collection of photographs that capture the reservoirs, hills, mills, festivals and, of course, sheep in all their glory.<br /><br />The project was developed by Flickr-ite <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/docmattk/">docmattk</a>, with the help of Blurb book producers.<br /><br />While I'm one of the point-and-hope brigade, with my little digicamera, there's some talented people out there with 'proper' cameras who know what they're doing. It certainly shows in the book, which will be launched at Marsden Jazz Festival on October 10 and is also available <a href="http://www.northernmoods.co.uk/">here</a><br /><br />Here are some of favourite photos in the book:<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3649/3608066554_64694e5fe1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 334px; height: 500px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3649/3608066554_64694e5fe1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/stuart_vidler/">by Stuart Vidler</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3409/3238866424_499904b6ee.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 332px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3409/3238866424_499904b6ee.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/t0msk/">by Mint Imperial<br /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3624/3438304559_df878d7bb8.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 359px; height: 500px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3624/3438304559_df878d7bb8.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/nualabugeye/">by Nuala</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3601/3617278373_9d6275e4a5.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 333px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3601/3617278373_9d6275e4a5.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/stephenwalder/">by Stephen Walder</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3030/3046713602_cc753d55bd.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 357px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3030/3046713602_cc753d55bd.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/andyholmfirth/">by AndyHolmfirth</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2027/2369054253_42161b4aac.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 450px; height: 299px;" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2027/2369054253_42161b4aac.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/docmattk/">by docmattk</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />And this is my photo, taken on my stag do, after supping at the Riverhead (these two weren't part of the stag do but they were very entertaining):<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3278/2932116569_da8b3505da.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 375px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3278/2932116569_da8b3505da.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1161740943084787832011-09-26T13:27:00.002+01:002011-10-01T15:22:33.931+01:00GOOD BEER GUIDE HIGHLIGHTS 2012<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.camra.org.uk/media/attachments/192602/GBG12coverSmall.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 100px; height: 164px;" src="http://www.camra.org.uk/media/attachments/192602/GBG12coverSmall.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">It's back - the new Camra Good Beer Guide, second only to the Bible in terms of following the righteous path to heavenly places.</span><br /><br />Manchester has perhaps the most interesting changes this year, with the north of the city centre looking a real ale hotspot.<br /><br />57 Thomas Street and Common are both new in this year. The former shouldn't work being so small (room for about 30-40 people), but it's delightful and from the Marble empire. The latter has gone from the deliberately shabby look, with a bar that appears to be made up of board from riot-ravaged windows and cheap garden chairs in the main bar space. It's a friendly enough place, with a concentration on Continental beers and bottles rather than handpulled - but there's a fine line between shabby chic and bag of shite.<br /><br />With The Castle, Bar Fringe, the Smithfield (now there is a pub that doesn't worry about Northern Quarter beanbaggery) and the slightly tired Crown and Kettle in the Guide (and Port St which should be in the Guide next year) - there's a decent selection of pubs in that part of town.<br /><br />Elsewhere in Manc, there are returns for old favourites Peveril of the Peak, the Grey Horse and the Rising Sun.<br /><br />There's a shake-up in Halifax with the Shears returning and the Westgate and Wetherspoon-owned Barum's Top also new entries.<br /><br />Veritas is the best of the new entries in Leeds (great grub too), with The Hop, Hunslet's Garden Gate and Fox and Newt (Burley) also new 'uns.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1108/1064505721_f35869120d_s.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 100px; cursor: pointer; height: 100px;" alt="" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1108/1064505721_f35869120d_s.jpg" border="0" /></a>In Huddersfield and surrounding areas, I'm glad to see the mighty Sair (pictured), in Linthwaite returning. So what if there were occasional hiccups with beer supply (I'm not sure Linfit Beers are on at the moment), it's a magical pub and it should never have been left out last year.<br /><br />Marsh Liberal Club is back in the Guide while The Swan in Slaithwaite drops out.<br /><br />The GBG remains the best guide for beer and pubs and as it says in the intro, where the beer's good everything else - decor, food, staff - is usually good as well.<br /><br />But is it time to include pubs and bars without cask/handpulled beer? Good boozers, with a wide array of interesting (usually non-British) kegs and bottles are missing out, while manky pubs which happen to have a handpull are in.<br /><br />A prime example of this is the Cherry Tree and Vox.<br /><br />The former is a dreadful Wetherspoons, in the Guide for its decent beer but not a place where you'd want to stay for more than a half because it's like sitting in a soulless school canteen being gawked at by ageing hardmen with saggy faces.<br /><br />Next door is Vox, a bar who relax in as soon as you walk in - it's got a lived-in feel, great music and great beer - but no cask, so no chance of an entry into The Good Beer Guide.<br /><br />Yes the Guide is mainly about beer but it's also about decor, mix of people and feel of the place and the Cherry Tree gets in while Vox misses out.<br /><br />Moving on. In Sheffield, the station Tap is, not surprisingly, a new entry (although it has a slightly artificial ye olde feel and is not a patch on West Yorkshire's rail ale pubs) and I'll have to look out for Henry's - a new entry in the city centre.<br /><br />The fabulous and characterful Old Cock is Otley's new entry, while the lovely Bull and Fairhouse is Wakefield's new kid on the block.<br /><br />In York, newbies are Last Drop Inn, Phoenix, Slip Inn and Three-Legged Mare, while there are plenty of changes in Wigan with new 'uns the fabulous Bowling Green, Millstone and Tudor House.<br /><br />My picks are all the pubs in Huddersfield, Leeds, Bradford, Wakefield, Halifax and a few other towns, villages, and suburbs in West Yorkshire. Plus all the pubs in Manchester, Salford, Sheffield, Wigan, Southport, Skipton, York most in West Lancashire, a few in North West Wales, and a small selection of the best Guide pubs I've visited in London recently.<br /><br />I've only chosen the cities, towns and villages I visit, or am likely to visit, over the next 12 months, so sorry Castleford, Cleckheaton, Bingley and a few others - you're not down here. But if I choose a place, all its pubs are included.<br /><br />I've lumped all the Huddersfield pubs together - keeping Holmfirth, Marsden, Meltham and Mirfield separate - and all the Leeds pubs (so that's including Burley, Chapel Allerton, Headingley, Holbeck, Kirkstall, Newlay, Rodley and Woodhouse).<br /><br /><br />Notes:<br />NEW - pubs new in this year's guide.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out</span> - in last year but not this year.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pubs in bold</span> - my own Olthwaite Golden Shovel winners (see best pubs - to be update soon)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >WEST YORKSHIRE</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">BATLEY</span>:<br />Cellar Bar<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />BRADFORD:</span><br />Castle Hotel, City Vaults, Corn Dolly, Fighting Cock, Haigy’s, New Beehive Inn, Sir Titus Salt.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Shoulder of Mutton</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">BRIGHOUSE:</span><br />Old Ship Inn, Red Rooster, Richard Oastler<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/2723332822_be42c35309_s.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 100px; cursor: pointer; height: 100px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3194/2723332822_be42c35309_s.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">DEWSBURY:</span><br />Huntsman, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Leggers Inn,</span> Shepherds Boy, West Riding Refreshment Rooms, pictured.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ELLAND:</span><br />Drop Inn NEW<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Barge and Barrel</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3105/2483985912_065baca892_s.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 100px; cursor: pointer; height: 100px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3105/2483985912_065baca892_s.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">HALIFAX:</span><br />Barum Top (Wetherspoon's)- NEW, Big Six, Shears - NEW, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Three Pigeons, pictured</span>, Westgate - NEW, William IV.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Sportsman (Swalesmoor)</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />HAWORTH:</span><br />Fleece, Haworth Old Hall Inn - NEW<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />HEBDEN BRIDGE:</span> Moyles - NEW, New Delight Inn, Stubbing Wharf - NEW<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">HOLMFIRTH:</span><br />Nook<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">HORSFORTH:</span><br />Town Street Tavern<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Old Kings Arms</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2539/4118847283_1b345f9994_s.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 100px; cursor: pointer; height: 100px; text-align: right;" alt="" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2539/4118847283_1b345f9994_s.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">HUDDERSFIELD and adjoining villages/areas:</span><br />Beaumont Arms (Netherton), Cherry Tree, Commercial (Slaithwaite), <span style="font-weight: bold;">Grove</span>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Kings Head</span>, Marsh Liberal Club - NEW <span style="font-weight: bold;">Rat and Ratchet</span>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sair (Linthwaite)- NEW</span>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sportsman </span>, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Star Inn (Lockwood. Folly the pub dog pictured)</span>, Swan (Slaithwaite), White Cross (Bradley).<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Swan (Slaithwaite)</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">ILKLEY:</span><br />Bar T’at, Riverside Hotel<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">KEIGHLEY:</span><br />Boltmakers Arms, Brown Cow, Cricketers Arms<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Livery Rooms</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">LEEDS:</span><br />Abbey (Newlay), Arcadia (Headingley), Chemic (Woodhouse), Fox and Newt (Burley)- NEW <span style="font-weight: bold;">Grove (Holbeck)</span>, Further North (Chapel Allerton), Garden Gate (Hunslet) - NEW, Hop - NEW, Midnight Bell (Holbeck), Mr Foleys Cask Ale House, North Bar, Owl (Rodley), Palace, Regent (Chapel Allerton), Rodley Barge (Rodley), Scarborough, Templar, Town Hall Tavern, Veritas - NEW, Victoria, Whitelocks.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Cross Keys (Holbeck), Reliance, Three Hulats (Chapel Allerton), West End House (Kirkstall) </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />MARSDEN:</span><br />Riverhead,<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MELTHAM:</span><br />Will O’Nats<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />MIRFIELD:</span><br />Navigation Tavern, Old Colonial<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />MYTHOLMROYD:</span><br />Shoulder of Mutton<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />OTLEY:</span><br />Junction, Manor House, Old Cock - NEW<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />SALTAIRE:</span><br />Fanny’s Ale House, Victoria<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SHIPLEY:</span><br />Shipley Pride, Sir Norman Rae<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4062/4336819311_186fca840a_s.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 100px; cursor: pointer; height: 100px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4062/4336819311_186fca840a_s.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">SOWERBY BRIDGE:</span><br />Firehouse, Jubilee Refreshment Rooms, White Horse, Works - NEW<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Puzzle Hall Inn (pictured), Shepherd’s Rest </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WAKEFIELD:</span><br />Black Rock, Bull and Fairhouse - NEW, Fernandes Brewery Tap, Harry’s Bar, The Hop, Labour Club<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Alverthorpe WMC, O'Donoghues.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Also Dropping out: Thurstonland - Rose and Crown</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />REST OF YORKSHIRE</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />SHEFFIELD:</span><br />Ball Inn (West, Crookes), Bath Hotel, Carlton (East), Champs Sports Bar (West), Cobden View (West - Crookes), Devonshire Cat, Fat Cat, Francis Newton (Wetherspoon) - NEW, Gardeners Rest (North), Harlequin, Henry's - NEW, Hillsborough Hotel (North), Kelham Island Tavern, New Barrack Tavern (North), Old House, Ranmoor Inn (West), Rawson Spring (North - Hillsborough) Red Deer, Rising Sun (West), Rutland Arms, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Sheaf View (South - Heeley)</span>, Sheffield Tap - NEW, University Arms (West), Wellington (North), York (West, Broomhill) - NEW<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Fox and Duck (West - Broomhill), Museum, Walkley Cottage (West), White Lion (South - Heeley) </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SKIPTON:</span><br />Narrow Boat, Red Lion<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Devonshire </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">YORK:</span><br />Blue Bell, Brigantes Bar, Golden Ball, Last Drop Inn - NEW, Maltings, Minster Inn, Phoenix - NEW, Rook and Gaskill, Slip Inn - NEW, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Swan Inn</span>, Three-Legged Mare - NEW, Waggon and Horses<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Tap and Spile, Yorkshire Terrier</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">GREATER MANCHESTER</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">MANCHESTER:</span><br />57 Thomas Street - NEW, Angel, Bar Fringe, Bulls Head, Cask - NEW, Castle Hotel, City Arms, Common - NEW, Crown and Kettle, Grey Horse - NEW, Knott, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Marble Arch</span>, Micro Bar, Old Wellington, Paramount, Peveril of the Peak - NEW, Rising Sun - NEW, Sand Bar, Smithfield Hotel, Waterhouse<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Dutton, Jolly Anglers, Odd, Piccadilly</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">SALFORD:</span><br />Crescent, King’s Arms, New Oxford, Racecourse Hotel (Lower Kersal), Star (Higher Broughton)<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Black Lion</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />STALYBRIDGE:</span><br />Old Hunter’s Tavern, Stalybridge Labour Club, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Stalybridge Station Buffet Bar<br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">WIGAN:</span><br />Anvil, Boulevard, Bowling Green - NEW, Brocket Arms, Millstone - NEW, Royal Oak, Tudor House - NEW<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Berkeley, Crooke Hall Inn, Moon Under Water </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >SOUTHPORT AND WEST LANCASHIRE</span><br />SOUTHPORT: Barons Bar, Bold Arms (Churchtown), Cheshire Lines, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Guest House</span>, Lakeside, Sir Henry Segrave, Volunteer - NEW, Willow Grove, Windmill.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Masons Arms </span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />WEST LANCASHIRE:</span><br />AUGHTON: Derby Arms, Stanley - NEW. <span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Dog and Gun</span><br />BISPHAM GREEN: Eagle and Child<br />BURSCOUGH: Farmers Arms - NEW, Hop Vine<br />CROSTON: Lord Nelson<br />MAWDESLEY: Black Bull, Robin Hood<br />ORMSKIRK: Disraelis, Greyhound, Queens Head.<br />PARBOLD: Stocks - NEW, Wayfarer. <span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Windmill</span><br />RUFFORD: Hesketh Arms<br />WESTHEAD: Prince Albert.<br />WRIGHTINGTON: White Lion<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: SCARISBRICK: Heaton’s Bridge<br /></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">NORTH WEST WALES</span><br />BANGOR: Boatyard - NEW, Fat Cat - NEW, Mostyn Arms, Tap and Spile. <span style="font-style: italic;">Dropping out: Abbeyfield </span><br />BEAUMARIS<span style="font-weight: bold;">:</span> Old Bulls Head<br />CAERNARFON: Black Boy Inn<br />CONWY: Old White House.<br />LLANDUDNO: Cottage Loaf - NEW, Kings Head<br />LLANGEFNI: Railway<br />MENAI BRIDGE: Bridge Inn, Victoria Hotel<br />RED WHARF BAY: Ship Inn<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />LONDON: 7 BEST</span><br />Calthorpe Arms, Bloomsbury<br />Dog and Duck, Soho<br />Holly Bush, Hampstead<br />Red Lion, Ealing<br />Royal Oak, Borough<br />Star Tavern, Belgravia<br />Traveller's Friend, Woodford Green<br /><br /><br />Pictures: Camra (book)Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1142718328016792142011-09-09T10:30:00.001+01:002011-09-09T16:45:35.934+01:00RUGBY UNION<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.lionsrugby.com/images/news/wal_logo.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 215px;" src="http://www.lionsrugby.com/images/news/wal_logo.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >RUGBY UNION WORLD CUP 2011:<br />CONFIDENT ABOUT WALES, CERTAIN ABOUT KIWIS</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 11: Well here we go again, six weeks (or rather six weekends) of rugby union that will be largely predictable results-wise until the quarter-finals at least and it's New Zealand's competition to lose.</span><br /><br />The home team are clearly the best all-round team - their forwards can win enough ball and their backs have the imagination to score regularly.<br /><br />As for their main rivals, France are inconsistent, England have one-dimensional back play, South Africa look over the hill and Australia? Well, they look the only side to challenge the Kiwis and the two great rivals should meet in the final.<br /><br />As for Wales, I'm feeling more upbeat than usual. After a rather disappointing Six Nations when their backs failed to make use of plenty of possession, they were impressive in the summer and look like they have the stamina to absorb pressure, like a boxer on the ropes, and fight back.<br /><br />South Africa are beatable but Wales can be beaten by Fiji and Samoa. This time they will be treating these two as equals.<br /><br />If Wales finish runners-up in the group they are almost certain to face the Aussies. If the Welsh win the group it's probably Ireland in the quarters, who are not as bad as their summer game record suggests.<br /><br />England should finish top of their group - Argentina and Scotland are the main rivals - and are likely to face France in the quarters although the French could spring another World Cup shock and beat pool favourites the Kiwis. I expect New Zealand to face Argentina in the quarters.<br /><br />Pool A<br />New Zealand, France, Tonga, Canada, Japan<br /><br />Pool B<br />Argentina, England, Scotland, Georgia, Romania<br /><br />Pool C<br />Australia, Ireland, Italy, Russia, United States<br /><br />Pool D<br />South Africa, Wales, Fiji, Manu Samoa, Namibia<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Wales games and key pool matches:</span><br />Sept 10: Argentina v England, Otago Stadium, Dunedin (0930 BST)<br />Sept 11: South Africa v Wales, Wellington Regional Stadium (0930 BST)<br />Sept 17: Australia v Ireland, Eden Park, Auckland (0930 BST)<br />Sept 18: Wales v Manu Samoa, Waikato Stadium, Hamilton (0430 BST)<br />Sept 24: New Zealand v France, Eden Park, Auckland (0930 BST)<br />Sept 25: Argentina v Scotland, Wellington Regional Stadium (0830 BST)<br />Sept 26: Wales v Namibia, Stadium Taranaki, New Plymouth (0730 BST)<br />Oct 1: England v Scotland, Eden Park, Auckland (0830 BST)<br />Oct 2: Wales v Fiji, Waikato Stadium, Hamilton (0600 BST)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Quarter-finals</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 8:</span><br />Winner Pool C v Runner-up Pool D<br />(Wellington Regional Stadium, 0600 BST)<br /><br />Winner Pool B v Runner-up Pool A<br />(Lancaster Park Stadium, 0830 BST)<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 9:</span><br />Winner Pool D v Runner-up Pool C<br />(Wellington Regional Stadium, 0600 BST)<br /><br />Winner Pool A v Runner-up Pool B<br />(Lancaster Park Stadium, 0830 BST)<br /><br /><p><b>Semi-final One: October</b> <span style="font-weight: bold;">15</span><br />Winner QF1 v Winner QF2<br /><i>(Eden Park, Auckland, 0900 BST)</i></p><p><b>Semi-final Two: October</b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> 16</span><br />Winner QF3 v Winner QF4<br /><i>(Eden Park, Auckland, 0900 BST)</i></p><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/36033000/jpg/_36033421_mclaren_300.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 180px;" src="http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/36033000/jpg/_36033421_mclaren_300.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >BILL MCLAREN RIP</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 10: 'Jink, jink, jink',<br />'Flitting like a little phantom'<br />'It would be a miracle if he could score'<br />'Gerald Davies, where did he come from?'<br /><br />Bill McLaren, perhaps the greatest sports commentator, has died. He mixed superb descriptions of the game with a unique turn of phrase, all spoken in a wonderful, mellifluous Borders accent.</span><br /><br />But unlike some of his contemporaries, eg Peter Allis, he was never in love with his voice. He never wasted any words or used his 'catchphrases', such as 'There'll be raising a glass to so-so in such-a-such club', unneccessarily.<br /><br />His favourite players were Ireland's Mike Gibson and Australia's David Campese, but I'll particularly remember his commentaries of the 70s when Wales were in the ascendant. Here's a few reminders of his (and Wales') brilliance - all against Scotland coincidentally but absolutely no bias from Bill, as you'd expect from the great man. RIP.<br /><br />(Doesn't he look like Alan Bennett?) Pic: BBC<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/81fi8tj2lrc&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/81fi8tj2lrc&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hbw6_MO8pHY&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hbw6_MO8pHY&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2qgytaTDGeg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2qgytaTDGeg&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42820000/jpg/_42820201_raygravell_203.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 200px;" alt="" src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/42820000/jpg/_42820201_raygravell_203.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >RAY GRAVELL 1951-2007</span><br /><strong>JPR Williams, Gerald Davies, Ray Gravell, Steve Fenwick, JJ Williams, Phil Bennett, Gareth Edwards - I knew the Welsh backline off by heart in the mid to late 70s and I loved to watch them. Ray Gravell was in exalted company and didn't attract as much praise or attention as the others - JPR had his bone-crunching tackles and barnstorming runs, Gerald and JJ were the speed merchants, Fenwick a good kicker, Bennett the unpredictable genius, and Gareth - God!<br /></strong><br />But Grav? Well I remember the beard and the occasional crashball run but in truth I can barely remember him play at all.<br /><br />He called himself "just a minor cog and, quite an ordinary player" so why were there 10,000 people at his funeral in Stradey Park, Llanelli?<br /><br />Grav played 485 times for Llanelli between 1970 and 1985, scoring 120 tries and captaining the side from 1980 to 1982. He was capped 23 times between 1975 and 1982 in the Welsh side which dominated the Five Nations, winning two Grand Slams, four titles and four Triple Crowns, and also toured South Africa with the British Lions in 1980, playing in all four Tests.<br /><br />Ordinary? That' s a pretty impressive career by any standards. But it was his character and his post-playing career that probably made him a much-loved character. That and his shockingly early death aged just 56.<br /><br />Grav was the bear-like post-match interviewer brimming with enthusiasm and passion for the game and with little regard for personal space with his interview subject, laughing and putting his arm round them.<br /><br />As Wales' national poet Gwyn Thomas said in his tribute peom to him:<br />There used to be<br />Detonations on the telly -<br />It was Grav discussing rugby.<br />There used to be<br />From the radio great warmth surging -<br />Grav conversing.<br /><br />Grav was also an actor, playing alongside Jeremy Irons in Damage and Peter O'Toole in Rebecca's Daughters (Grav usually played versions of himself).<br /><br />He had immense charm but as Frank Keating in The Guardian noted, he wore his insecurities on sleeve - for example he was worried about facing New Zealand in Llanelli's famous 9-3 win in 1972 (I still have the commemorative pen with the result on it) and later playing for Wales.<br /><br />Here are two similar tales about Grav from two of the greatest fly-halves.<br /><br />First, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Barry John (IC Wales)</span>:<br />“In 1972 I played for Cardiff against Llanelli at the Arms Park and Ray was up against me,” he says. “I was only a few weeks from retirement and he was starting a new career. Deep into the game I kicked a long touch-finder and he came through and cleaned me out. The tackle was only slightly late, not dangerous or anything, but it left me lying on the ground.<br />“Grav turned around and when he saw me he was in total distress. Looking down, he said, ‘my mam will kill me’.<br />“He was just standing there. In the end I had to get up and order him, ‘Grav, you’d better get back into position and do some covering’. And he was on the other team!”<br /><br />And <span style="font-weight: bold;">Jonathan Davies (Independent) </span>remembers him at the end of his playing career:<br />"I was a fervent Llanelli supporter, and his was the first autograph I ever collected. My mother and I used to bump into him when we went shopping down the Co-op on a Friday, and he used to take an interest in how my rugby was going.<br />When I was invited to train with the Llanelli seconds as a teenager, Grav would give me a lift to Stradey Park. Despite the fact he was one of my heroes, getting into the car with this mad, ginger-haired man who always had Irish rebel songs blasting out of the cassette was one of the most frightening experiences of my career.<br />After I failed to make the grade with Llanelli I eventually joined Neath, and one of my first games was against Llanelli, so I came face to face with my idols – and Grav was among them.<br />In one move I cut inside him but before I could get past he caught me high with a short-arm tackle. I went down like a sack of coal. Grav picked me up and dusted me down, saying : "Sorry, sorry." Then he ran to the touchline and shouted pleadingly to my mother in the stand: "I'm sorry, Diana, I'm sorry."<br />That was Grav all over: a fierce competitor but courteous and caring with it. Whatever he was doing, he never held back.<br /><br />Davies also said: "He did not have an easy ride through life. His father committed suicide when Grav was 14 and it was he who found the body. He lost a leg through diabetes six months ago but was dealing with that setback as cheerfully as he did every other."<br /><br />In Grav's whisky cabinet there is an unopened bottle of Penderyn whisky which he had intended to open on his eldest daughter’s wedding day. He leaves wife Mari and daughters Manon, 11, and Gwenan, eight.<br /><br />A good man, gone too soon.<br /><br />Pic: BBC<br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">THE LAST GAME</span></strong><br /><strong>April 07: It was all set for a Barnstoneworth finish. Just like in Ripping Yarns' Golden Gordon, Orrell had been thrashed all season, hadn't won trophies for years, were about to play their last game on their ground and had invited their greatest players to the ground (not to play, sadly) And they were winning with about 15 minutes to go.</strong><br /><br />But they lost. A last-minute try for Morley gave them a 24-17 win. So it's goodbye Edge Hall Road after 57 years and goodbye to professional rugby, and hello (next season) to St John Rigby school playing fields and the South Lancashire and Cheshire League 2 after the club merged with Orrell Anvils. It's a drop of about five divisions and Orrell will be playing the likes of Wigan, Crewe, Oswestry and Ormskirk next season.<br /><br />I was expecting the ground to be packed like when I were a lad (eeh!) for the last game but the stand was less than half-full with a smattering of supporters elsewhere - including some from Bristol who presented a cheque for £400 at half-time to help our club.<br /><br />Even though it was a sad occasion, there was a jovial atmosphere and it was a good game and a sterling effort by an Orrell team fleshed out by Manchester University players - Orrell had had to pull out of their game at Darlington the previous week because they couldn't raise a team (they were thrashed 78-0 after the game was re-arranged on April 28).<br /><br />Orrell were in Morley's faces in the first half, sharp in the tackle and first to the ball against a clumsy and lethargic Morley side - what a difference to the first game of the season against the same opposition (see below). There was also a memorable last day try by Fergus Owen who cut through most of the Morley side to give Orrell a 17-7 lead at half-time. Morley upped their game in the second half against a tiring Orrell side to pip them at the post.<br /><br />I stood in a spot at the 22 at the scoreboard end where I'd watched John Carleton and fellow winger Barry Fishwick score length-of-the-field tries as a kid. I moved to the other side of the ground at half-time, like I used to, passing the stand where my grand-dad had a heart attack and died while he was watching a game. Good to see the firm he founded was still sponsoring the stand.<br /><br />It's still a grand little ground - even the Wigan rugby league gym (formerly the clubhouse) looks similar to the clubhouse which burned down.<br /><br />The biggest change for me was the number of houses crammed onto the training pitches. This is still a bone of contention with Orrell and their former owner Dave Whelan and chairman Maurice Lindsay, who ran the club for three years before three successive relgations. They blamed the club for selling the pitches for £600,000 when Whelan offered more. Lindsay said Whelan paid £1,000 each to 500 members for control of the club and said less than a third of them turned up to watch matches.<br /><br />Club president Jim Lloyd said in the final programme that money was wasted in the Whelan era and claims the club is still owed money by him. He also asks about money made from the sale of the pitches and why a new clubhouse wasn't built immediately - a good point<br /><br />But I think Whelan has been harshly painted as the villain in this tale - Orrell had no team and no money when they went to Whelan. Their supporters were often outnumbered in Premiership home games and the team was out of its depth in many matches. Having said that, Lindsay's promises to clear debts and build a new clubhouse for the club never happened and Whelan did leave them in the lurch when they could have reached the Premiership again.<br /><br />The difficulty is how do you sustain a side which doesn't have enough support to reach the top but wants to remain competitive. Look at Otley, they have finally succumbed in the First Division this season - playing part-time, having a £100,000 cut in their playing budget and paying for travel and accommodation finally took their toll. They were relegated on April 28.<br /><br />Orrell, England and British Lions legend John Carleton doesn't blame Whelan - he feels the club would have closed a long time ago without him. I don't think he was at the ground on the last day but I saw Sammy Southern and Nigel Hislop.<br /><br />So I'm off to the playing fields next season - it will be nice to see Orrell win at last (hopefully)<br /><br /><li><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zDEDAcqB_A">YouTube video of Orrell's greatest hits</a></li><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">GOODBYE EDGE HALL ROAD: </span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Last game April 21</span></strong><br /><strong>Feb 2007: Twenty-nine points adrift at the foot of the league and facing a third consecutive relegation; a 102-0 thrashing at Tynedale on Saturday after several key players left for other clubs and now the unthinkable - Orrell are leaving their ground in Edge Hall Road at the end of this season after 57 years.</strong><br /><br />If that isn't bad enough a rival Orrell team has started which will play at the bottom of the rugby union league ladder next season (probably the Up Holland and District league!).<br /><br />The new team (Orrell Anvils) has the support of Orrell legends Des Seabrook and John Carleton and wants to start again with local amateurs. Both Orrell teams are scheduled to play at St John Rigby School next season but negotiations are underway about becoming one club. The choice of league is the sticking point - do Orrell drop one division to North One or start from the bottom?<br /><br />How did it come to this? The club which made its name as the cup giantkiller in the 70s and almost became English champions in 1991-2 was probably ruined by professionalism. It couldn't match the big bucks wages of other clubs and it didn't have the crowds to match Gloucester and Leicester.<br /><br />In desperation in 2001-2, the club turned to Dave Whelan owner of Wigan rugby league and football club. In his first season as owner, the club were promoted to National League 1, they finished fourth and then second in that league.<br /><br />After three years, Whelan announced he was pulling out of the club but promises were made to clear the club's debts and pay for a new clubhouse which had been burnt down by arsonists. It's not quite clear what has happened to this deal - the local media treads warily where Mr Whelan and his learned friends are concerned and the club sometimes gives out confusing messages about what's going on.<br /><br />The clubhouse is now a gym for Wigan Warriors rugby league club and Orrell RUFC cannot afford to pay the rent for use of the ground which is also used by Wigan Warriors.<br /><br />Would the club have been saved if it had won planning permission for housing on its training pitches before Whelan stepped in? Was he only interested in the (rugby union) Premiership TV money? And did he bar access to the clubhouse because the club owed him a few thousand in cash? Who knows?<br /><br />Since Whelan left the club seems to be scratching around for a team at the start of every season and relegation has been the result over the last two seasons.<br /><br />Watching Otley this season is a stark reminder of what Orrell should be doing - forgetting about the Premiership but holding their own in Nat League 1 or 2. The lack of a clubhouse is crucial in this respect as Orrell attract the same number of spectators as Otley but miss out on booze/food revenue.<br /><br />I don't care which league Orrell start playing in, I'd just like to see them win or at least be in a chance of a win.<br /><br />See also: Times article on demise of Orrell (Jan 2007)<br />www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/sport/rugby/article1265891.ece<br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">HEADINGLEY - A UNION GRAVEYARD</span></strong><br /><strong>December 2006: Leeds Tykes 30 Otley 8</strong><br /><strong>I've yet to see a decent rugby union game at Headingley and the local derby with Otley was no exception.</strong><br /><br />It was a bitty, stop-start game - no decent moves in the backs and penalties given away by either side every minute.<br /><br />God knows what watching rugby league legend Jimmy Lowes thought of it all. If the Salford No2 was scouting for players, he freezed his arse off for no reason.<br /><br />It just goes to show that a bad union game (constant penalties and rucks) is always worse than a bad league game (five British Bulldog charges with a kick at the end).<br /><br />It was also a nightmare trying to explain the rules of the game to the lovely P who was making her first visit to a rugby match.<br /><br />Otley gave a good account of themselves in the first half, taking a 3-0 lead, but never looked like a scoring a try when they had loads of possession early on.<br /><br />It was 8-3 to Leeds at half-time and the Tykes turned the screw when Otley were down to 14 men early in the second half. The home side at last began to string phases of possession and camped in Otley's half for most of the second half.<br /><br />The game was watched by 5,310.<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">ORRELL? HORRIBLE!</span></strong><br /><br /><strong>October 2006:</strong> It's getting even more like Barnstoneworth now - Orrell have been deducted six points for using illegal players against Morley and Macclesfield, so it means they are at the bottom of the table on MINUS FIVE points, having lost all their games so far and by the beginning of this month are 14 points adrift at the bottom of the table.<br /><br /><strong>September 2006:</strong> I know how Ripping Yarns' Gordon Ottershaw felt watching Barnstoneworth (8 bloody 1) after sitting through another painful thrashing for Orrell.<br /><br />A new season begins and you always hope Orrell will find their feet in a division after two successive relegations.<br /><br />But no - Morley crushed Orrell 47-7 at Scratcherd Lane and are bottom of the National League North 3 already after one game.<br /><br />The tackling was shocking. Morley's giraffe of a flanker had a field day as Orrell missed their first tackles time and time again. On one occasion he nearly ran the length of the field through the flimsy defence.<br /><br />Morley's No 14 also revelled in the space he was given - even when he was pinned against the touchline he still managed to beat his man a couple of times.<br /><br />Orrell's line-out was also amateurish - they lost five in a row on their own throw in the first half and all Morley had to do was spread it wide and they scored.<br /><br />Like Gordon Ottershaw I feel like tracking down the Orrell greats and getting them to play - Carleton J, Gullick D, Morris D, P Williams, Anderson F...<br /><br />According to coach Chris Chudleigh, he was playing a lot of colts and second teamers due to several departures in the summer.Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-26813300612879933072011-01-12T10:17:00.001+00:002011-01-13T15:02:16.067+00:00POLITICS<span style="font-weight: bold;">MY MOST POPULAR PHOTO ON FLICKR IS....</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">...Michael Foot's Donkey Jacket, with 351 views in 10 months! A quickly taken snap in a museum on my phone that appears to be popular on Google images.</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/15449086@N00/4459812122/" title="Michael Foot's 'donkey jacket' by Olthwaite, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4034/4459812122_cce6d9fcf1.jpg" alt="Michael Foot's 'donkey jacket'" width="205" height="400" /></a><br />This is the 'donkey jacket' that Michael Foot wore at a Remembrance Day service in the early 80s. It was bought in Harrods.<br /><br />It's slightly galling that he was so villified then and has been almost universally praised since he died.<br /><br />His manifesto of 1983 - dubbed the longest suicide note by Gerald Kaufman (the man who claimed £8,865 for a TV on expenses) - included policies to set up a national investment bank, the scrapping nuclear weapons and the sale of council houses, restoring the link to pensions and earnings, reversing nationalisation of British Telecom, introduction of a minimum wage and stopping hunting. Mmm..sounds reasonable now.<br /><br />Michael Foot's coat is among the artefacts on show at the People's History Museum in Manchester. RIP Mr Foot.<br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">LIB DEMS STITCHED UP IN BUDGET</span></strong><br /><br /><a href="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/47607000/jpg/_47607229_cleggerstavpa.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 466px; height: 300px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/47607000/jpg/_47607229_cleggerstavpa.jpg" border="0" /></a> At least someone warned us about the Tories' VAT rise.<br /><br />Oh!<br /><br />The Lib Dems have been stitched up like a kipper. Yes, a few sops around the fringes of the budget, but remember Saint Nick in the TV debates, with his Sermon on the Mount, palms-outspread, 'I'm different from the old parties' sincerity? How he emphasised how cutting now was wrong, how he wanted to spend more on schools, cut Trident and rule out a rise in VAT? (and the Tories had the cheek to hint that Labour would put up VAT)<br /><br />Oh dear Nick.<br /><br />Education is going to be cut by 25pc, VAT is going up (and yes it will affect the poor - if there had been a rise in fuel and booze duty by the same amount people would be whingeing a lot more), Trident is staying and cuts are happening now just as Labour's reforms are starting to put money back in the economy and cut the debt.<br /><br />The debt has been exaggerated by the Tories and Lib Dems anyway. We're not Greece, we've got longer to pay and more assets. Labour had to spend more on new hospitals and schools after the austerity of the 80s and was shafted like everyone else in the global recession.<br /><br />And we've always had debt - the NHS was set up in the late Forties when we were skint after the war.<br /><br />Up to a million public service jobs could be lost and how will that affect the precious debt when there are so many more people on the dole?<br /><br />By the time the referendum on voting reform comes around next year, the government will be so unpopular people won't vote for anything associated with it, especially not if it's anything to do the U-turn, power-hungry, no-marks in the Lib Dems.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4046/4481833381_84fbb62496_o.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 509px; cursor: pointer; height: 307px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4046/4481833381_84fbb62496_o.png" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >GOODBYE GORDON</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">I have to confess I filled up when Gordon Brown said goodbye outside No10. A decent, principled, serious man to the end - what a tragedy this failed to come across to enough people.</span><br /><br />He replaced shabby hospitals and schools in the boom years and saved us from depression in the bad.<br /><br />But you could see why New Labour, and especially Brown, needed operators like Mandelson and Campbell to deal with the rabid right-wing press and to hone his policy and speeches. Brown could have done with them in his first year as PM.<br />A Lab-Lib pact just didn' t SNP.<br /><br />By contrast the Lib Dems have made a huge blunder accepting cabinet posts in the new government. They may have won concessions on policy but will now be tainted by any nasty Tory policy lurking in the wings.<br /><br />England seems divided now - north of Stoke, the big cities with their own identities that are more broadminded and open to change, below Stoke and around the south coast, the small towns and twee country villages have conservative ways and Conservative ways.<br /><br />Cheers to <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/clookypics/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Clooky</span></a> for poster<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4058/4527958916_8a19605dfc_o.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 503px; cursor: pointer; height: 700px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4058/4527958916_8a19605dfc_o.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:180%;" >VOTE LABOUR - HERE'S WHY</span><br />Here's what I look for in a Prime Minister:<br />Does he smile a lot?<br />Does he remember my name when I ask him a question?<br />When he answers a question, is the first thing he says: 'I agree with you'.<br />Does he mention words such as 'change', 'hope', 'optimism', 'little fluffy-wuffy bunnies with waggly tails'?<br /><br />Cobblers.<br /><br />I want someone who can stand in the sleet in Lowestoft, as Gordon Brown did on Monday, and say he's fighting hard 'every second, every minute, every hour, in the wind in the rain, and in the sun, every day and in every way' to win the election.<br /><br />There's something heroic about a man who's faced so many knocks, yet who remains resolute and determined. You know he's one of those MPs who's doing the job to serve the public, not for perks.<br /><br />So what is if he's awkward and miserable? We're not electing a meet-and-greeter in a supermarket and these are serious times.<br /><br />But never mind the personality. Here is someone who made the right decisions on saving the banks and made the right decisions on staving off depression. Unlike the Tory recessions of the 80s and 90s, inflation, interest rates and, crucially, unemployment are lower.<br /><br />His policies on dealing with the global crisis have been followed or matched around the world - only the Tories disagree. If the Tories had been in power thousands would have lost their savings in Northern Rock and Bradford and Bingley.<br /><br />And Dave Cameron, who bats his puppy dog eyes and says he loves our country, can't resist talking it down - warning of Greek-style debt disasters and IMF interventions. His comments no doubt affect the markets and our country.<br /><br />And what of Dave's Broken Britain? When crime has gone down by a third since 1997? Look at the new schools and hospitals built under Labour.<br /><br />Dave undoubtedly has the intelligence and charm to pull a big speech out of the bag at crucial times - at the Tory conference that elected him as leader, at the first Tory conference after Mr Brown was elected leader of the Labour party and at the third TV election debate.<br /><br />But for all his 'I love the NHS' bluster he is using the excuse of the debt to carry out the Tories' long-cherished dream of dismantling public services.<br /><br />Do-it-yourself schools? They've failed in Sweden and they'll divert resources from professional schools.<br /><br />And let's not forget the NHS was set up at the end of World War 2 when the country's debts were bigger.<br /><br />Dave's tax cut supporters? Sir Stuart Rose and other executives on million-pound salaries whether they succeed or fail.<br /><br />As for Nick Clegg and the Liberals, it makes you wonder what impact his predecessor Charlie Kennedy would have had in the TV debates as he is someone with real personality. The Liberals' policies on tax and Trident are tempting, but Clegg's 'old parties' shtick and his hands apart gestures, like he's miming a big loaf, were looking very tired by the third TV debate.<br /><br />So I say vote Labour to see us out of recession and preserve public services. Go Fourth with Harold!<br /><br />Here's a barnstorming Brown speech showing what he, and the Labour Party, are all about.<br /><br /><object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6BA2Jz7xIXw&hl=en_GB&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6BA2Jz7xIXw&hl=en_GB&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/rmlondon1a.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 315px; cursor: pointer; height: 157px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/rmlondon1a.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >DON'T LET THE FAUNTLEROYS BACK IN!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 10: An <a href="http://mydavidcameron.com/posters2.html">amusing site</a> has been set up spoofing David Cameron's earnest and pompous billboard ads.</span><br /><br />SuperDave has had an easy ride so far - most of the media swallowing his line about public service cuts being the only way to reduce the 'huge debt', with scant mention of the City who got us into this mess in the first place. (Incidentally when did Britain have a small debt? We've only just paid off our WW2 loan to the Yanks!)<br /><br />You get the feeling the Tories are desperate to hack away at vital public services, decentralise and leave a lot of government to private companies, forgetting it was government that saved the economy by stabilising the banks.<br /><br />You also get the feeling some of the public, especially the 'not interested in politics' morons, think it's an X Factor contest and Gordon shouldn't win for being grouchy and awkward in public.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/brown1a.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 315px; cursor: pointer; height: 157px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/brown1a.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/sturgeon2a.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 315px; cursor: pointer; height: 157px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/sturgeon2a.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/c4.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; width: 315px; cursor: pointer; height: 157px; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://mydavidcameron.com/images/c4.jpg" border="0" /></a>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-32608736053021525182010-08-26T09:44:00.002+01:002013-05-11T10:55:31.402+01:00BEST BREWERIES<a href="http://www.moorhouses.co.uk/images/moorhouses-newlogo.gif"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.moorhouses.co.uk/images/moorhouses-newlogo.gif" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px;" /></a><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">BEST BREWERIES</span></b><br />
<b>I originally wrote this in 2007 as a reaction to the lack of northern winners at the Great British Beer Festival the year before. I updated it in 2008 and 2010 as I've realised there a few regular breweries who never let you down and thanks to Locale there is more chance to regularly sample Yorks and Lancs brews. On the other hand, Springhead and Phoenix have dropped down the top 10 as I rarely see their beers in Huddersfield these days. The Locale effect? New entries to the top 10 are Saltaire, Salamander and Acorn, Leeds and York drop out.</b><br />
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<b>1 MOORHOUSES:</b> Is this the best thing to come out of Burnley since the A6114? Started brewing real ale in 1978 although the company set up as a drinks manufacturer in 1865.<br />
<i>Best beers:</i> No duff ones here - Black Cat (mild), Premier Bitter, Pride of Pendle and Pendle Witches are all good.<br />
<i>Best places to drink:</i> Moorhouses-owned pubs - Rising Sun, Blacko, Lancs; The Stanley, Burnley; Gerneral Scarlett, Burnley; Craven Heifer, Rawtenstall, Lancs; Pendle Witch, Atherton; Dusty Miller, Bury.<br />
The Grove, Leeds, always has Black Cat on.<br />
<a href="http://www.moorhouses.co.uk/news.html">Moorhouses news</a><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">2 SALTAIRE </span>Does anyone do flavoured beers better? I don't think so. Triple Chocoholic is a SIBA winner and Hazelnut Coffee Porter is a delight. Real chocolate in the first, ground coffee in the second. They also do cherry, elderflower, raspberry and blackberry. The brewery is based in an old tram generating hall near Saltaire.<br />
<a href="http://www.saltairebrewery.co.uk/index.html">Saltaire website</a><br />
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<b>3 MARBLE:</b> Organic and vegan beers (although you can still get a steak sandwich in their pubs), the brewery was established in 1997.<br />
<i>Best beers:</i> Ginger Marble tingles on the lips and tongue and feels healthy. For those who think it tastes like medicine try Manchester Bitter. JP Best won best beer brewed in Greater Manchester at 2007 Food and Drink Festival.<br />
<i>Best places to drink:</i> Where it's brewed - the Marble Arch Inn, on the outskirts of Manchester. Plus The Knott, near Deansgate Station, and Marble Beer House, in Chorlton.<br />
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<b>4 OSSETT:</b> Since brewing started in the west Yorkshire town of Ossett in 1998, business is booming with a chain of pubs established in west Yorkshire. It's also taken over Riverhead and Fernandes breweries but is still brewing their beers.<br />
<i>Best beers:</i> Best known for Silver King and Pale Gold, the sweeter and stronger Excelsior is my favourite.<br />
<i>Best places to drink:</i> Ossett-owned pubs, including Dewsbury (Shepherds Boy), Elland (Drop Inn), Halifax (Three Pigeons), Hipperholme (Travellers Inn), Liversdege (Black Bull), Marsden (Riverhead), Sowerby Bridge (Shepherds Rest), Wakefield (Fernandes Tap) but the best is the Rat and Ratchet in Huddersfield.<br />
<a href="http://www.ossett-brewery.co.uk/news.html">Ossett news</a><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">5 ACORN</span> Barnsley Bitter and Old Moor Porter are the stars of this Barnsley brewery but their seasonal beers are always worth a punt.<br />
<a href="http://www.acorn-brewery.co.uk/index.asp">Acorn website</a><br />
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<b>6 LINFIT</b> There's one place you can get Linfit Beers - in the Sair Inn, in Linthwaite, near Huddersfield (Linfit is how locals pronounce Linthwaite, just like nearby Slaithwaite is pronounced Slawit). Started brewing in 1982 although ale was brewed in the beautiful cottage-like premises in 19th century.<br />
<i>Best beers:</i> Everything from light coloured bitters, through to stouts, milds and 8 per cent beer Enoch's Hammer. My favourites are Special and Old Eli.<br />
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<b>7 ALLGATES</b> Straight outta Wigan. Consistently excellent milds, porters and others from the folks behind the town's excellent Anvil pub.<br />
<i>Best beers:</i> Mild at heart<br />
<i>Best place to drink:</i> The Anvil, Wigan<br />
<a href="http://www.allgatesbrewery.com/index.htm">Allgates</a><br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">8 SALAMANDER</span> Golden Salamander is always a treat from this Bradford brewery but they've produced hundreds of specials<br />
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<b>9 SPRINGHEAD:</b> Civil War names for the various beers from this Newark brewery, established in 1990.<br />
<i>Best beers:</i> Manages to produce a light colured beer without a bitter aftertaste (Springhead Bitter) also Puritans Porter and Roundheads Gold.<br />
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<b>10 PHOENIX:</b> Another reliable range of bitters. Established in 1982. Moved to current base in Heywood, Greater Manchester, in 1991.<br />
<i>Best beers:</i> Best Bitter, Monkeytown Mild. Also do Arizona.<br />
<i>Best places to drink:</i> Sandbar, Manchester<br />
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<b>OTHER BREWERIES WORTH LOOKING OUT FOR:</b><br />
BANK TOP (Bolton - Dark Mild)<br />
BAZENS (Salford - Black Pig Mild) <a href="http://www.bazensbrewery.co.uk/news.html">Bazens</a><br />
BRAINS (Cardiff - Dark, Bitter, SA, Rev James) <a href="http://www.sabrain.com/index.cfm?alias=mediacentre">Brains</a><br />
COTTAGE (Lovington, Somerset) <a href="http://www.cottagebrewing.co.uk/">Cottage</a>GOLCAR (Golcar, Huddersfield - Dark Mild) <a href="http://www.golcarbrewery.co.uk/index.html">Golcar</a>GREAT HECK (Goole - Dave)<br />
LEEDS (Leeds - Midnight Bell) <a href="http://www.leedsbrewery.co.uk/">Leeds Brewery</a><br />
ORKNEY (Stromness, Orkney - Raven Ale, Dark Island)<br />
ROOSTERS (Knaresborough, N Yorks - Hooligan, Special)<br />
YORK (York - Centurions Ghost Ale) <a href="http://www.yorkbrew.demon.co.uk/">York Brewery</a><br />
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Pic: Moorhouses. Some info: Good Beer Guide<i></i>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1146155500784390802010-04-21T14:20:00.005+01:002015-01-12T21:18:04.041+00:00BEST PUBS<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_6548bb4bc0_o.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3401/3471051579_6548bb4bc0_o.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; display: block; height: 480px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 389px;" /></a><br />
<b><span style="font-size: 130%;">GOLDEN SHOVEL AWARDS FOR BEST PUBS</span></b><br />
<b>1 The Sair, Linthwaite, Huddersfield<br />
2 Rat and Ratchet, Huddersfield<br />
3 The Grove, Huddersfield</b><b> </b><br />
<b>4 The Guesthouse, Southport</b><br />
<b>5 The Grove, Leeds</b><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">6 The Sportsman, Huddersfield (pictured, above)</span><br />
<b>7 The Marble Arch, near Manchester city centre</b><br />
<b>8 Star Inn, Lockwood, Huddersfield<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">9 Three Pigeons, Halifax </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">10 King's Head, Huddersfield </span><br />
11 Buffet Bar, Stalybridge <span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />
</span>12 The Swan, The Three-Legged Mare and other York pubs<br />
<b>13 Leggers, Dewsbury</b><br />
<b>14 Victoria, Leeds </b><br />
<b>15 Sheaf View, Sheffield</b><br />
<b>16 Britons Protection, Manchester</b><br />
<b>17 Crown Posada, Newcastle</b><br />
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I've only included my absolute favourites that I visit regularly.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1199/1064486623_53847100f8.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1199/1064486623_53847100f8.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: 130%;"><b>1 THE SAIR INN, LINTHWAITE, NEAR HUDDERSFIELD</b></span></span></b><br />
<b><b>A note on the front door used to slightly alarm me - "Please do not feed Danny despite his persuasive moves. He was bringing up bile for three days."</b><br />
Fear not. Danny is not a desperate regular but a dog with give-me-a-crisp eyes. (The sign's gone now)<br />
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The Sair is the pub of dreams, serving up to 10 home-brewed Linfit beers, ranging from stouts to light bitters in four homely rooms, two of which have real fires while the others have cooking ranges.<br />
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You'll rarely find Linfit beers at any other pub or festival and the quality has rarely dropped, despite a brewery fire, since The Sair won the National Camra pub of the year award in 1997.<br />
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The pub itself is 300 years old and hasn't been tarted up, especially the front rooms which overlook the Colne Valley.<br />
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This is a great summer pub to end a walk and there are loads of friendly dogs and their walkers on a Sunday. You'll feel you deserve a pint as the easiest way to find The Sair is to negotiate what appears to be a 1 in 3 hill - Hoyle Ing - off the Huddersfield-Marsden road.<br />
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If all this wasn't enough, The Sair has a fantastic jukebox with rare blues and sixties stuff.<br />
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Opening hours: Monday-Friday 5-11. Saturday 12-11. Sunday 12-10.30. No food apart from occasional rolls.<br />
Pub crawl? Slaithwaite, down the hill, now has two great pubs, The Commercial and The Swan. The Riverhead, in Marsden, three miles away, is another home brew pub in attractive surroundings.<br />
Picture: Me<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>2 THE RAT AND RATCHET, HUDDERSFIELD</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">There were worries when Ossett took over this brew pub in 2004. It wanted to do it up and there were fears the beer quality could drop. But it is the best pub in town and in 2014 was voted the best cask ale pub in the UK.</span><br />
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It's a two-room establishment with a homely feel, comfy seats and plenty of nooks and crannies to hide away and read a paper or book, although at weekends it's a lively place, as it should be.<br />
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The 12 handpull selection is a mixture of Ossett and others, including their own Rat beers which are a bit more inventive than their parent company. Where it has the edge over other pubs is that has always a dark beer on (they also have had a mild festival) and the landlord tends to reorder popular guest beers such as those made by Acorn and Phoenix, rather than taking a punt on some obscure southern brewery. There are also continental lagers, ciders (it was a runner-up for best cider pub in Yorkshire in July 2008) and a good selection of wines.<br />
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The staff are friendlier since it was taken over and the jukebox has been updated and is great. A jukey may offend the Camra fundamentalists, but a bit of Stones and Squeeze on a noisy Friday is just what you need and the pub attracts a younger crowd at the weekend.<br />
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Food at lunchtimes. Terrestrial TV. Opens until 12.30am on Fridays and Saturdays, midnight weekdays.<br />
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Huddersfield pub of the year for several years.<br />
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<a href="http://www.groveinn.co.uk/tshirt/front.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.groveinn.co.uk/tshirt/front.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;">3 THE GROVE, HUDDERSFIELD</span></b><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-weight: bold;">This was once a shabby pub but was transformed in 2006 (I think) into a real ale boon for the town since it reopened, with 19 caak ales and 17 kegs.</span><br />
<br />They </b><b>serve three permanent cask ales: Magic Rock - Ringmaster, Timothy Taylors - Landlord, and Thornbridge - Jaipur IPA and seven cask lines dedicated to the following
breweries: Buxton, Durham, Fuller's, Gadds', Hawkshead, Magic Rock and
Oakham. 200 bottled beers, as well as some original snacks ('psycho' pork scratchings and unusual jerked meats).<br />
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It's been done out nicely inside with dining room chairs that wobble more than my arse, while cartoons and bottles adorn the walls. There are Old Private Eyes and beer stuff to read and the pub has some great beer promotions and music nights.<br />
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It's good to see they've got a mix of regulars and guests (I don't like all guests in a pub). <br />
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One minor quibble - a personal one which probably won't bother others - regulars cluster round the bar tending to block views of the beer clips. Hey but that's just me - this Huddersfield pub has led the way in the craft beer boom and deserves more credit.<br />
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It deserves a Huddersfield pub of the year award and it's a mystery why the local Camra branch ignores it (apart from seasonal awards).<br />
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Opens until midnight on Friday and Saturday. No meals. No TV. <br />
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<li><b><a href="http://www.groveinn.co.uk/">Grove Inn website</a></b></li>
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<b><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">4 THE GUESTHOUSE, SOUTHPORT</span></span> </b></b><br />
<b><b>The best pub in this town by miles. Three wooden-panelled rooms are full of contrasting characters, from old fellas having a quiet jar and couples who've run out of things to say to each other to footie fans with names like Tony the Ticket, Tony Wolves and Tony Spy talking surreal nonsense.4</b></b><br />
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There's an ever changing range of guest beers, although Cains is usually on and there's usually a mild.<br />
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A beer garden is out back and benches out front for beery lizards to soak up the rays on a summer's evening.<br />
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Opening hours: Does have a licence to open after 11pm, but listen out for the bell. No food.</b><br />
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Pub crawl? Barons Bar, in Scarisbrick Hotel. Windmill is a good summer pub and has OK beer. The Masons is full of characters and has a great feel and good beer.<br />
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<a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/citylife/pubs/images/grove_270.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/citylife/pubs/images/grove_270.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<b></b><b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;">5 THE GROVE, LEEDS</span> </b></b><br />
<b><b>Monty Python made a short film called Crimson Permanent Assurance (part of Meaning of Life) about an old-fashioned office block dwarfed by huge modern skyscrapers and I'm always reminded of this film when I see The Grove. It has two hideous office block looming over it on two sides and is dwarfed at the back by Leeds' tallest building.</b><br /> </b><br />
<b>The Grove is a four-room pub. One reminds me of Great Aunty Mary's lounge, with its tasselled lamps and armchair, another room has wooden seats which give me pins and needles in my balls, yet another room has a wood-burning fire and the fourth is a concert room where old men sing older folk songs.<br />
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The Highland Terrier with the Hannibal Lecter mask appears to have passed on, and John the landlord, who occasionally looks hangdog, looks to have gone, but there are excellent </b><br />
<b>beers.<br />
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There's a real mix of people, especially on a Friday night when the suited and booted from the offices are gradually replaced by the bearded and cardiganned from the folk club.<br />
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Food is served at lunchtimes, no TV and there's seating outside.<br />
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Shake a fist at the monstrous offices which hem it in and prevent the pub festival from taking place. I saw the great Mik Artistik here, drawing portraits on paper bags and singing a blues song about his daughter selling shoes.<br />
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The Grove is a great boozer and is a former Leeds Camra's pub of the year.<br />
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Pub crawl? The Grove is about a 10 minute walk out of the town centre. Three new pubs have sprung up nearby in the past few years - The Cross Keys, The Midnight Bell and The Hop, all rather swanky but all serve decent ale. There's The Scarborough back in town which is usually packed. And as you're back in town, you may as well got to the Palace. And as you're at The Palace, you may as well go to the Duck and Drake!<br />
Picture: Leeds Camra<br />
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</span><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">6 THE SPORTSMAN, HUDDERSFIELD</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">A lesson to pub companies in how to do up a boozer and run it well.</span><br />
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The Sportsman was refurbished in April 2009 with furnishings and fittings in keeping with the original features. It's been beautifully decorated with art deco touches and lovely paintwork (I don't know what type - don't get Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen on my ass).<br />
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The curved bar and wall seating are still there in the main room, while two smaller rooms have chunky tables and comfortable seats. Real fires in all rooms.<br />
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Yorkshire beers dominate here. It's good to see a local pub tap into the wealth of breweries in the neighbourhood.<br />
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Staff are friendly, the beer's cheap and the pies (eg venison and stout) are wonderful.<br />
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Oh.. and it's run by the people who look after the excellent West Riding Refreshment Rooms, in Dewsbury and Buffet Bar, Stalybridge.<br />
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Open all day, late at weekends.<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://static.flickr.com/50/121141408_abe7942b89_m.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://static.flickr.com/50/121141408_abe7942b89_m.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;"><b>7 THE MARBLE ARCH, ANCOATS, NEAR MANCHESTER</b></span><br />
<b>It's a desolate 15 minute trek out of the city to reach this gem but you'll be cheered once you open the doors - there are glazed coloured tiles on the wall and ceiling, a sloping mosaic floor (which can be quite confusing when you're pissed), the rough-hewn benches (and the occasional rough-hewn regular) and the delicious home-brew beer.</b></b><br />
<b><b> </b><br />
The organic, vegan Marble Beers are brewed on the premises - the regulars include Ginger Marble, which tingles on the tongue, Manchester Bitter and Lagonda IPA, all light beers, although there's also a Chocolate Heavy and some guests.<br />
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The food is simple but a cut above the usual pub fare and is served all day until early evening. The jukey is also good with plenty of 80's Manc favourites.<br />
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Pub crawl? Near the Victoria/Northern Quarter end of town - The Bar Fringe on Swan Street has continental beers and a great jukey and the Crown and Anchor nearby has reopened - a smart pub serving real ales.<br />
Marble beers are also served at The Knott, near Deansgate.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>8 THE STAR INN, LOCKWOOD, HUDDERSFIELD</b></span></span><b></b><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Like The Grove, this was once a real dive that's been transformed into a cosy real-ale emporium that offers about a dozen real ales including Taylors and Pictish regulars.</span><br />
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The Star is rightly famed for its annual beer festival where up to 70 ales are available - they put many Camra festivals to shame<br />
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It's a ticker's pub which means you'll see breweries and beers rarely seen in these parts, although most of them aren't as good as the ones in Yorkshire and Manchester. Even if you try beers you've never heard of, there's only so much time and money to drink them - hey but that's just me ( an like the Grove it can be difficult to see the clips round the beer as regulars tend to block the view. I know, I'm a grumpy old sod)<br />
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It's about 15 mins out of town.<br />
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No food, TV or jukey, Pub only opens all day at weekends. After 5pm on other days, closed on Mondays.<br />
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<a href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3105/2483985912_065baca892.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3105/2483985912_065baca892.jpg?v=0" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%; font-weight: bold;">9 THREE PIGEONS, HALIFAX</span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Another Ossett pub that's got better since the brewery took it over in 2005.</span><br />
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Tiled fireplaces, cosy rooms and art deco flourishes bring a smile to face as soon as you walk in. The beer selection is the usual mix of Ossett and others, I think there's usually half a dozen pumps on. Won a national Camra conservation award in 2007 and was listed in 2010.<br />
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Terrestrial TV, no food or jukey.<br />
Photo: Me<br />
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<a href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2139/2188793043_cd1ba038c1.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><b>10 THE KING'S HEAD, HUDDERSFIELD</b></span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">The Head of Steam is perhaps the better known of the two former railway station ticket office that are now pubs, with its high ceiling rooms and hearty food, but it's the King's Head (formerly known as The Station) which has the better beer.</span><br />
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There's one big room, with a tiled floor and attractive fires, and two smaller rooms. The big room can seem rather than spartan when there isn't a band on or many people in, but the beer and the service is spot on and it's cheap. Eight real ale handpumps, at least, and plenty of local breweries such as Eastwood, Abbeydale and Moorhouses.<br />
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I have to confess when I first went in a few years ago, there were couples arguing and some ageing hardmen, but while there's the occasional man talking to himself (eg: the belching man with elastic holding up his glasses shouting 'Leeds!'), there's a friendly atmosphere now, especially when there's a band on (usually bluesy or covers bands) and the punters start jiving.<br />
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Closes at 11pm (frustratingly) <br />
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Photo: Me<br />
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Pub crawl: For its size Huddersfield town centre is hugely disappointing. Mainly dodgy dives or garish yoof joints - both with appalling booze choices and an uncomfortable edge, although things have improved with the opening of the Sportsman and Hand Drawn Monkey. Head of Steam tries hard with beer choice but quality flags occasionally Vox is a nice bar with a good but not adventurous choice of bottled beers. Wetherspoon's Cherry Tree keeps its beer well but it's soulless and has some obnoxious customers. Northern Taps is a nice bar but beer quality is only ik and Zephyr at Neaverson is nowhere near as nice as its late lamented sister bar Zephyr,<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">11 BUFFET BAR, STALYBRIDGE</span></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">I don't know if it's the real fires, the twinkly lights, the railway paraphanalia or the fact the bars are like train corridors, but of all the bars converted from railway station buildings, this is my favourite building.</span><br />
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Good selection of northern ales - Heywood's Phoenix, Wigan's Allgates and Leeds brewery in a friendly cosy atmosphere, quite different from the rather grim pubs in Stalyvegas town centre.<br />
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Black peas are among the delicacies on offer and there are crumpet nights on Tuesdays (the bread product, calm down matron).<br />
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The bar became a real ale pub in 1997 formed from waiting rooms and the old buffet place itself.<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;">12 THREE-LEGGED MARE, THE SWAN AND OTHER YORK PUBS</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;"> </span>Named after a device which allowed three criminals to be hung at once, a sort of Daily Mail w*** fantasy (not that they do that sort of thing), the Three Legged Mare is one of four York Brewery pubs in the city.</b><br />
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Besides making great beer (Guzzler, mmm), the brewery designs great pubs.<br />
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This one is a converted shop near the cathedral. The best part is the high-walled garden with views of a church and houses around (and a three-legged mare for Daily Mail readers to foam over).<br />
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You can't get into the garden itself but there is a conservatory and some chairs outside and it's so secluded it feels like stepping back in time to 1806.<br />
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You can almost imagine some Jane Austen heroine opening the windows next door and asking Mr Hobhouse, her beau, for her bustle.<br />
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Heading out of town from the Mare, there's the Minster Inn, a lovely multi-room backstreet boozer with....wooden panelling, hurrah!<br />
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York Brewery has another splendid conversion, Last Drop Inn, about five minutes in the other direction from the Mare. This is a former solicitors' office in the tourist centre of the city, so watch out for jugglers (and morris dancers). And there's the Terrier, a converted old shop.<br />
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Further on there's the Blue Bell, which is small and means you will be sitting cheek by jowl by narky old gets who moan if you dare move an inch towards their place while they're at the bar.<br />
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Heading out of town past the rail station is one of my favourite back street boozers The Swan, (coal fires, old-fashioned green padded seats, cosy and friendly) and nearby The Golden Ball (another multi-room gem).<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;">13 THE LEGGERS, DEWSBURY</span></b><br />
<b>Dewsbury has the same honey-coloured stone buildings as Huddersfield, and is in the same council area, but seems like Huddersfield's poorer, down-at-heel cousin.</b><br />
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A couple of old mills have been converted into trendy flats but the town centre streets are quiet and some impressive looking buildings are neglected or boarded up.<br />
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Heading towards The Leggers, it gets bleaker - a grimy industrial estate. But suddenly you see the canal and boatyard, near the pub, and things start to look cheerful, especially on a nice summer's day.<br />
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The Leggers itself doesn't seem much from the outside - the toilets are downstairs and the pub is upstairs, but what an interior! It looks an old attic with a triangular roof and the beams kept in. It was in fact an old hay loft for canal horses.<br />
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Everard's Tiger is regular here as well as various guests. There's some tasty ham rolls and armchairs so comfy they threaten to swallow you up. Ideal for looking out of the window and watching the barges coming in and going out again.<br />
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Voted Heavy Woollen pub of the year 2009<br />
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Pub crawl? The West Riding Refreshment Rooms in the train station is a gem of a place.<br />
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<a href="http://static.flickr.com/111/283728664_7b2ac500a6.jpg?v=0"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://static.flickr.com/111/283728664_7b2ac500a6.jpg?v=0" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;"><b>14 THE VICTORIA, LEEDS</b></span><br />
<b>Another pub which has been through a battle to save its gorgeous interior. Huge wood and frosted glass screens, wooden panelling (again) and posh furniture (dining table type chairs).</b><br />
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Range of beers, tasty food and varied clientele from boasting barristers, shrieking teachers and hairy students. It can get sweaty on jazz night.<br />
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Pub crawl? The opposite end of town from The Grove and a chance to visit two rather trendy bars which serve beers from here and abroad - the North Bar, a long slim bar which is heaving at weekends, and The Reliance, bit more relaxed with vast sofas.<br />
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<a href="http://static.flickr.com/54/108253985_ec963038eb_m.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://static.flickr.com/54/108253985_ec963038eb_m.jpg" style="float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px;" /></a><br />
<b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;">15 SHEAF VIEW, SHEFFIELD</span></b><br />
<b>This pub which was a bit of a grim dive until it was transformed in 2000.</b><br />
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The interior is bright and cheerful with the furniture looking as though it has escaped from a 1950s dining room. A conservatory and outdoor seating area has been added because it's so popular.<br />
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Vast range of guest beers.<br />
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Pub crawl? The White Lion is an unspoiled pub round the corner. In the city centre, there's the cosy Red Deer, rhet Bath and Rutland and just outside the centre, the Fat Cat, Shakespeare, and Kelham Island.<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: arial; font-size: 130%;">16 BRITONS PROTECTION, MANCHESTER</span></b><br />
<b>This seems to be a small bar until you notice the serving hatch at the back and the door leading to two decent sized rooms.</b><br />
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Our old friend wooden panelling is in evidence again with comfy red velour chairs. The staff are decked out in white shirts and black ties and are very polite. Jennings and a beer named after Pete Postlethwaite are among the beers they serve.<br />
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At lunch , there are pies with names like Grunt and Gobble (pig and turkey, geddit?) and upstairs Frank Randle films are shown.<br />
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Opening hours? 11pm last orders. Pub crawl? Knotts and the tiled splendour of Peveril of the Peak beckon.<br />
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<span style="font-family: arial;"><b><span style="font-size: 130%;">17 CROWN POSADA, NEWCASTLE</span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: arial;"><b><span style="font-size: 130%;"> </span></b></span><b>It's easy to miss this boozer, which is downhill from the train station near the quayside, Baltic Gallery and the Sage Arts Centre (spectacular glass slug from outside; looks like Salford's Lowry Centre from inside).</b><br />
There's a sign jutting out from the Posada and then you notice the two stained glass windows on the outside. It's easy to miss because it's wide enough for about two people at the bar and three elsewhere, but it's beautiful inside with high, cream and brown ceilings and mirrors a-plenty.<br />
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Five guest beers are served including many local brews, there's a snug where sea captains used to frequent, friendly service, and best of all a record player with hits from the 1920s - tinkly piano tunes for Noel Coward-types to polish their monocles, smoke their cigarettes in holders and utter weary witticisms: "When one is tired of Gateshead, one is tired of life."<br />
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Pub crawl: Bridge Hotel, near the..er. Bridge and the Union Rooms, a great Wetherspoon's conversion.<br />
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<li><b><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/yorksgalsue/">Thanks to Sue on Flickr for the Victoria pic</a></b></li>
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<li><b><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/evissa/">And a foaming tankard of ale to Karen Turner on Flickr for the Sheaf View and Marble Arch pics</a></b></li>
Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1144181277676518312010-03-19T08:30:00.001+00:002010-04-07T13:33:34.544+01:00BUILDINGS<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2570/4081198808_a345888076_o.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 480px; height: 360px;" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2570/4081198808_a345888076_o.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size:130%;">HUDDERSFIELD 'THE NEW LEEDS' </span>- <span style="font-size:180%;">NOOOOOOO!</span></span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">March 10: The Guardian has a feature where it examines a town or suburb and this week it was Huddersfield's turn. But a favourable article was ruined by the headline and comment - 'The New Leeds'.<br /></span><br />Writer Tom Dyckhoff decided to visit the town for rather strange reasons - a co-operative of artisan bakers featured on Radio 4, a grow-your-own veg community (I think Todmorden did this first) and the good schools. Very Guardiany - shame there were no sandal shops or he'd be frothing in his goatee.<br /><br />He rightly praised the buildings, the Pennines on our doorstep, the great train services and the mild in the Rat and Ratchet. On a more obscure note he also liked the leftiness and the music scene (nothing out of the ordinary for me) and the property prices.<br /><br />There was mention of the excellent Coffee Revolution, although nowt about the best caff in Byram Arcade and best restaurant the Thai Sakon.<br /><br />But then he mentioned the dread words - the new Leeds. Huddersfield's appeal is precisely because it's not Leeds. Smart yellow brick for Huddersfield, dreary red brick for Leeds; countryside in Huddersfield, a few shabby parks in Leeds. While Leeds has a decent selection of boozers, Huddersfield's are better and it also has its own breweries.<br /><br />There's also a sense that Leeds is constantly overblowing its assets (Harvey Nicks and the arcades). Let's face it, it's just a puffed-up town surrounded by grubby suburbs.<br /><br />Photo: Me<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 600px; height: 385px;" src="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >WHAT DO YOU THINK?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Oct 09 update: St George's Square, in Huddersfield, is finally finished - £1m over budget and a year late.</span><br /><br />I think it looks marvellous, especially at night with the fountains and coloured lights outside the train station. Yes the fountains did appear - although there's no indication they are there when the water's off. The trees opposite the George Hotel were also planted (no flowerbeds though).<br /><br />The Examiner says the whole thing cost £4m and is seven months late. I think it's about a year to be honest - when Kirklees Council asked people to choose options on designs for the square, it said it would be finished in <a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/stgeorgessquare2.pdf">'autumn 2008'</a><br /><br />Worth £4m? Mmm, I'm not sure - the sqaure wasn't too shabby before. It's a bit like gilding a lily. As usual, the serial moaners who write to the Examiner don't like it, but then they probably complained when outdoor toilets were knocked down. The new layout does seem to have thrilled younger people in the town, though.<br /><br />The original idea to change the layout of the square appears to come from (unelected) development agency <a href="http://www.yorkshire-forward.com/improving-places/urban-areas/huddersfield">Yorkshire Forward</a> which is offering £6m for the 'renaissance' of Huddersfield.<br /><br />Besides the square, they want the warehouse opposite the train station to be redeveloped, a link from the warehouse to the square, improvement of St Peter's gardens, the library and market, and development of the Waterfront Quarter.<br /><br />"The vision is of a town where people can move about easily, with high-quality buildings rising above a lively and busy place," Yorkshire Forward says.<br /><br />This 'vision' has been developed with town planners from Milton Keynes David Lock who were involved in sprucing up Holbeck, Leeds.<br /><br />Yorkshire Forward is giving £31.5m to Barnsley, £13.5m to Wakefield and £3.5m to Halifax to revamp their towns.<br /><br />Does Kirklees Council have to accept this cash and these ideas or risk losing funding? It's difficult to tell but I think the new square is a success.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >I THOUGHT WE VOTED FOR THIS!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sept 09: In 2007 Kirklees Council announced plans to redevelop St George's Square in front of the train station. It gave people three options and 67 per cent voted for Option 1, pictured above.</span><br /><br />But two-and-a-half years on and a year late the refurbishment, due to be completed next month, looks nothing like Option 1 - no fountains in front of the station or trees at the top of the picture opposite the George Hotel.<br /><br />There's a ruddy great fountain there now, under wraps still, so it's hard to tell if the refurbishment has been worth it. One councillor is also saying the whole project cost £4m instead of £3m and is wondering why it looks nothing like Option 1. The council has agreed to hold an inquiry to discuss his points.<br /><br />Better news 'on the waterfront' - Kirklees College has received government funding to move its campus behind the Rat and Ratchet on Chapel Hill. It's the proposed centrepiece of a waterfront quarter of flats and offices. The college will have to come up with a cheaper plan but without the funding the whole 'quarter' would have been mothballed.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3663/3400572183_965bc0d8cc.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; width: 370px; cursor: pointer; height: 300px;" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3663/3400572183_965bc0d8cc.jpg?v=0" border="0" /><br /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >CAPTURE MANCHESTER</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 09: I entered this pic in the Capture Manchester competition, organised by CUBE (Centre for the Urban Built Environment) in Manchester. Organisers wanted to capture the spirit of Manchester in postcard-size pics.</span><br /><br />I didn't win but there were more than 600 entries and some corkers too. <li><a href="http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/g/1104441_capturing_essence_of_the_city">Eight of the 10 winning entries are here</a></li><br />An exhibition, featuring all entrants, was at the CUBE gallery in Portland Street for a couple of weeks until April 18 and this picture and all the others will feature in a book. I'm not sure my pic has captured the spirit of Manchester, but I'd walked past Victoria hundreds of times without noticing all the place names outside, until last year. Newcastle, Hull, Belgium are three places you can't get to from Victoria anymore - and they just sound funny together.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >HUDDERSFIELD CRUNCHED</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 09: A year on from all the building plans and developments in Huddersfield, it's all gone horribly wrong for the town, with St George's Square development near the station lambasted, delayed and possibly over-budget, the Waterfront Quarter in trouble over funding and the council's plan to revamp the town centre (Queensgate) on hold.</span><br /><br />I still think <span style="font-weight: bold;">St George's </span>will look good in the end, but it was due to finish in autumn 2008, then February this year, then the contractors went bust in March and building work stopped for almost a month until the council took over.<br /><br />It's now looking like May for a finishing date, over a year since works started on the scheme to build a fountain, re-pave the square, close and re-route roads, put in trees and seating, and move Harold Wilson's statue.<br /><br />The council won't say if it will go over the £4m budget. It's getting most of the cash from development agency Yorkshire Forward.<br /><br />There's been a big hoo-ha about the replacement of some of the distinctive yellow Yorkshire paving stones with multi-coloured bricks, but for me the most annoying thing is the way pedestrians have been coralled and herded into narrow spaces, dangerously close to roads - all for a scheme that's meant to benefit pedestrians!<br /><br />Perhaps the biggest shock is the threat to the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Waterfront Quarter</span>, on a section of land behind and next to the Rat and Ratchet pub covering Sellers Engineering.<br /><br />Approved plans include flats and offices and a new £70m campus for Kirklees College - the latter is the centrepiece of the scheme but it may not receive money from the Learning and Skills Council. It's one of 79 building projects that have been put on hold because of a shortage of cash at the council. The government will decide this month what to do with these projects. Work was due to start this year.<br /><br />Meanwhile the £200m <span style="font-weight: bold;">Queensgate scheme</span> to transform part of the town centre is in the balance because of the recession.<br /><br />Kirklees Council needs £50m of private investment to help finance the plan, which includes a new library, art gallery and information centre, a three-storey department store, 100-bed hotel, 100 homes, a new market hall, bars, restaurants and up to 900 parking spaces, on a site that includes the market hall, the multi-storey car park, the former Co-operative store and buildings on New Street.<br /><br />Finally, no developments on the plan to turn the big railway warehouse into houses and offices, while there's no start date for Kingsgate mall expansion.<br /><br />Some info: Huddersfield Examiner<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >HUDDERSFIELD BUILDINGS UPDATE</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">March 08:</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Kingsgate expansion:</span> Kirklees Council reject £50m extension to Kingsgate shopping centre. It would involve building one department store (M&S) and six other stores, creating 400 jobs behind Parish Pump pub. Councillors reject it because it would threaten their own:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">£200m Queensgate scheme: </span> Plans include a major department store, 160 new shops, cafes, bars and restaurants, 170 residential flats and a 100-bed hotel. The market hall would be modernised and an underground car park would be built. A planning application has been submitted for this.<br /><br />A new library and art gallery would be built at the corner of Princess Alexandra Walk and Peel Street, while the existing library would be refitted for shops and leisure facilities. An application for this has yet to be submitted.<br /><br />Kingsgate man says Queensgate won't be ready for another 10 years. Council fears Kingsgate would steal its retailers and draw shoppers from other areas of town.<br /><br />I favour the council here although Queensgate is a bit bland - they need to follow Sheffield's lead and put some exciting public buildings/public art there.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tesco/Sports centre: </span>A new sports centre on the car park opposite The Grove Inn, a new Tesco on the site of the old sports centre and surrounding flats, plus housing, offices, shops and a hotel on the site of the old Tesco.<br /><br />No planning applications submitted but council cabinet approves as deal means a spanking new sports centre. Mmm...what about democracy? MP Barry Sheerman's concerned and wants more talks. I think Tesco are pretty good but enormously powerful and I fear the council can't say no to this.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">£150m waterfront quarter: </span>Offices, apartments, cafes and a new main campus for Huddersfield Technical College on a triangle of land between Manchester Road, Chapel Hill and the River Colne, behind the Rat and Ratchet on land owned by Sellers Engineering Ltd and Kirklees Council.<br /><br />An outline scheme was put forward two years ago, the scheme has been changed to replace three office buildings with the college. The buildings are up to six storeys high. If approval is granted, work could start next February.<br /><br />This looks like a great scheme, improving shabby land and opening up the canal.<br /><br />Info: Examiner<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >AFFLECKS SAVED!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Feb 08: After a year of uncertainty Manchester's quirky den of shops, Afflecks Palace, has been saved.</span><br /><br />There had been fears that owners Burntwood would not renew the lease and the stallholders would be priced out by higher rents. But Burntwood has bought the emporium, has promised to keep it as it is, and is looking for new managers.<br /><br />Hurrah - if it was in Leeds it would be turned into bland yuppie flats.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >CO-OP AND OUT</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 08: Kirklees council has paid £2m for one of Huddersfield's most distinctive buildings - the old Co-op - to knock it down.</span><br /><br />The New Street building, with its Co-op stone sign, was Heaven and Hell nightclub for two years but has empty for the last year. It opened as a Co-op textiles department in 1936.<br /><br />A firm had wanted to convert it into student flats but has pulled and now the council has stepped in to buy it for £2m and knock it down to make way for the Queensgate redevelopment - which involves buolding a new library and art gallery, putting shops in the old library, attracting a major retailer for a department store, plus 160 new shops, cafes, bars and restaurants, 170 residential flats and a 100-bed hotel. No planning application has been submitted.<br /><br />The Co-op's looking fairly shabby now but it easily the best looking building in that part of town. A listing application failed in 2005. Shame the sign at least cannot be preserved.<br /><br />MEANWHILE The owner of Destiny Designwear, next to the cobbled track to the train station, intends to build a £1.5m new store on the site.<br /><br />The new store, which is as yet unnamed, will have four floors of designer brands and exclusive clothing for men and women. There will also be space for concessions, a cafe and the possibility of a restaurant.<br /><br />The drawings look very handsome indeed and in keeping with its Victorian surrounds.<br /><br />Owner Ghulam Rasool told the Examiner: “My vision is to make this the best independent department store in the area.<br /><br />“It will give this corner of the town a total facelift and make it so much more welcoming for shoppers.<br /><br />“I am doing it for Huddersfield – I was born here, I love this place and I want people to have something better."<br /><br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">NEW THREAT TO AFFLECKS</span></strong><br /><strong>Jan 2008: Manchester's fabulous shopping emporium could close this weekend (19-20 Jan 08).</strong><br /><br />Managers of the building say they haven't received a new tenancy agreement from the building's owners Burntwood and have given shopowners notice to quit.<br /><br />Burntwood say they offered a new agreement but negotiations have stalled. However building managers claim that Burntwood could raise the rent and price out shop owners.<br /><br />I'm probably too old for Afflecks with its trendy clothes but it's a real Aladdins cave of curios and a great advert for manchester amid the corporate samey big shop blandness.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/content/images/2005/02/24/corn_exchange_300_300x300.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; width: 200px; cursor: pointer;" alt="" src="http://www.bbc.co.uk/leeds/content/images/2005/02/24/corn_exchange_300_300x300.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >CORNBALL LEEDS</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 07: Wannabe London Leeds is about to get rid of another of its institutions by chucking out all the independent and quirky retailers and craftspeople in the Corn Exchange and turning it into in 'upmarket food emporium' (Jesus and Mary Chain).</span><br /><br />According to the Yorkshire Evening Post, the shop owners were told the centre had become 'unviable'. Some said they had been given until January 14 to move out and those with longer contracts had until May.<br /><br />Although Leeds City Council owns the building, it is leased to Zurich Assurance in an agreement spanning more than 100 years, so the authority has no control over the plans (oh how convenient)<br /><br />The proposals include opening a high-profile restaurant on the ground floor, with premium local, national and international produce on sale on the first floor and units selling related non-food cookware type goods on the upper floor. Talks are already under way with potential operators, including 'a number of branded restaurant occupiers'. (Hurrah! The same food places as everywhere else).<br /><br />If that wasn't bad enough, the craft businesses with Saturday stalls have been told not to come back. They were expecting to trade seven days a week throughout December as in previous years and make most of their money during this time.<br /><br />Well done Zurich! (The firm that shut down its insurance business in Leeds a few years ago leaving hundreds out of work).<br /><br />The Corn Exchange is one of the few places that's unique to Leeds and turning into a mall is another nail in the coffin in the blandification of the city. And if you want decent food, why not go to Kirkgate Market next door - one of the finest in the country for fresh meat and fish.<br /><br />Pic: BBC<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >ANYONE FOR TESCO?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 07: The mighty supermarket empire wants to move next door but one to Sainsbury's on the outskirts of Huddersfield on the site of the town's sports centre, keep its existing store on the other side of the ringroad with a £26m new sports centre in Springwood.<br /></span><br /><br />According to the Huddersfield Examiner, Tesco and Kirklees Council are in talks over a deal which would fund a new sports centre on current car parking land at Springwood.<br /><br />Two of the three tower blocks of flats in Leeds Road, Ibbotson and Lonsbrough, would be demolished as part of the plan.<br /><br />The new sports centre, planned to be open in 2011, would be funded by a combination of cash from the sale of the existing site, using council funds that would otherwise have to be spent on repairs to the sports centre and other buildings running into millions of pounds, and other council capital budgets.<br /><br />The council says it will consult on the options for re-housing tenants from Ibbotson and Lonsbrough Flats before a final decision is made.<br /><br />Mmm, no planning application yet but once Tesco get their teeth into something like this it's very difficult to stop, especially as the council will be saving millions. There's a danger that the supermarkets could drag more trade out of the town centre but let's face it there's only one bread shop and butcher's shop left in the town centre and they close by 5pm.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.afflecks-palace.co.uk/html/images/html_main.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; width: 200px; cursor: pointer;" alt="" src="http://www.afflecks-palace.co.uk/html/images/html_main.jpg" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>AFFLECKS SAVED (PROBABLY)</strong><br /></span><strong>April 07:One of Manchester's greatest attractions, Afflecks Palace, looks set to have been saved from development.</strong><br /><br />Stallholders in the rabbit warren of quirky clothes, astrologers, barbers and second-hand gubbins feared the building would be redeveloped into swanky flats when they weren't offered a new lease.<br /><br />The city council stepped in to negotiate between the stallholders and the building's owners and a new lease has been offered. The owners say they have no plans to turn Afflecks into luxury housing.<br /><br />Rentaquote Councillor Pat Karney believes Afflecks is safe, however no details of rent rises have been released and the building's owners "cannot make any firm assurances"..mmm.<br /><br />Not surprisingly there has been a huge hoo-ha about the possible closure of Afflecks - it is a unique place to shop and a lovely building. Its loss would make Manchester a duller place, especially after the Corn Exchange (books and bootleg heaven) had to make way for the Triangle after the IRA bomb. Hurrah! More antiseptic clothes shops for anorexic footballers' wives.<br /><br /><strong>June 07 update: Still no new rental agreement with landlord and shop owners - they're getting worried again...</strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquareLayout.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 320px;" alt="" src="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquareLayout.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>IT'S HIP TO BE SQUARE</strong><br /></span><strong>Jan 2007, update:First impressions of a strange town are often formed by the first view you get as you step out of the train station. Your heart sinks when you enter Peterborough, Doncaster or Stafford but it soars when you leave Huddersfield station and marvel at its square of grand buildings and the stone lion on the roof of one. It's like being in Rome!</strong><br /><br />Kirklees council wants to make St George's Square even more impressive by removing the road in front of the station and disused fountain and mini-roundabout at the end of the square (by the green bus in the council's picture above), extending the pedestrianised part to cover it, restricting traffic on the road the bus is using, and adding more bus stops.<br /><br />The council asked developers to come up with three options for the redesign and asked the public to choose the best. The work will be completed in autumn 2008.<br /><br /><strong>The winner, with 67 per cent of the public vote is....Option 1. Hurrah!</strong><br /><strong>Option 1:</strong><br /><a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 320px;" alt="" src="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />This is my favourite although it involves moving the Harold Wilson statue in front of the station entrance to the centre of the square and replacing him with fountains in front and adding trees elsewhere. I like the way they've used the space for different features here, the other designs make the square seem a little barren.<br /><br /><strong>Option 2 (16 per cent of votes): </strong><br /><a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 320px;" alt="" src="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Corporate bollocks alert! "St George's Square links the train station with the town and connects travellers with other modes of transport. Option 2, called Pennine Arrival, takes this idea of connection to create strong lines of paving and movement through the square."<br />Movement of what? People? They move there already! There'll also be lights and fountains in the ground.<br /><br /><strong>Option 3 (6 per cent of votes):</strong><br /><a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 320px;" alt="" src="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/transport/stgeorge/images/StGeorgesSquare3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Bit of a seated area and circular stream-type water feature on the old fountain site.<br /><br />Pictures from:<br /><br /><br /><br /><p></p><p><a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/stgeorge">Kirklees Council site</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/community/yoursay/queensgate/images/Page_4_Image3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 300px;" alt="" src="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/community/yoursay/queensgate/images/Page_4_Image3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">£200m HUDDS TOWN CENTRE PLAN</span></strong><br /><strong>Oct 2006: Transforming the library and market area of Huddersfield is the latest scheme cooked up by the council. Officers</strong><strong> had suggested knocking down the library and market in 2004 but both buildings have since been listed.</strong><br /><br />There was a hue and cry (not the one-hit wonder Scottish band), especially about the library, and in truth the area around these two buildings is ok at the moment but the council wants to attract shoppers away from Leeds and elsewhere so it proposes:<br /><br /></p><li>A 100-bed hotel in the old Co-op building (recently a nightclub) next to the ringroad<br /><br /></li><li>A walkway over the ring road linking the town centre and the university on the other side of the road. (Another two-tier walkway linking the area with the rest of town)<br /><br /></li><li>A new library and art gallery, retaining the external appearance of the existing building, with shops and a health club upstairs (see top picture - glass building at far end)<br /><br /></li><li>Sixty shops (including big department stores) and 170 flats<br /><br /></li><li>Demolition of the Queensgate multi-storey car park<br /><br />Plenty of turquoise glass covering the walkways and the rest of the buildings, forming a sort of semi-covered shopping mall - pretty but fairly unadventurous and it's hard to see why the scheme will cost £200m.<br /><br />The council are asking for comments on<br /></li><a href="http://www.kirklees.gov.uk/queensgate">Kirklees Council site</a><br /><br /><br /><br /><strong>OTHER HUDDERSFIELD DEVELOPMENTS</strong><br /><p></p><li>A huge warehouse next to Huddersfield station, which has been empty for 30 years, is to be converted into 70 flats, offices, shops and even a hotel from next year as part of a £50m development. Planning permission was granted in August 2006 and its should be finished by December 2008. </li><br /><br /><li>The grey slabby high risers making up Huddersfield Technical College (next to the ring road) could be coming down. A plan has been submitted although the college has found out there are mineshafts under most of the college and they might have to move sites.<br /><p></p></li><li>The owners of the Kingsgate shopping centre want to expand and build a second floor with space for bigger stores.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.wiganworld.co.uk/streets/s/s293.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 320px;" alt="" src="http://www.wiganworld.co.uk/streets/s/s293.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>SWIGGIN' IN WIGGIN</strong><br /></span><em>A George Formby statue and some Wigan insults</em><br /><br /><strong>July 2006: It's been years since I saw Wigan on a gloriously sunny day. I only tend to visit for rugby league matches and beer festivals when it's either dark or raining, but when I visited this month (July) it looked - not beautiful exactly - but spruced up, vibrant and not as down-at-heel as I remember it.</strong><br /><br />I always thought it was one of those towns where they'd ripped out the heart and replaced it with identikit shopping centres, but apart from the market you do notice that a lot of the old-fashioned mock Tudor buildings and fancy brickwork remain, above ground level at least (see picture).<br /><br />They're building a new shopping centre on the street where the cinema and Wigan casino used to be. It doesn't look to be any great shakes but hopefully it'll provide a different variety to the town's shops, maybe a decent book or record shop for example.<br /><br />As long the shops don't see off Smith's (THE Smith's not the WH upstart) which is still thriving selling much the same stuff as its mainstream namesake.<br /><br />As for pubs, the Bricklayers, near the bus station, is still boarded up. It's a handsome building, narrow but with four big bay windows. Next door the Colliers, with its purple-tiled exterior, looks closed and round the corner the Raven has a to let sign outside it. The Raven is a grand brownstone building but the ale was always very ordinary when I visited years ago.<br /><br />Perhaps all three pubs are suffering from the effect of the massive Moon under the Water Wetherspoon's in their midst, or maybe it's the Anvil - officially Wigan's best real ale pub and a great place to watch rugby league.<br /><br />I ended my Swiggin in Wiggin (the name of Wigan's Camra mag) here watching Saints v Leeds (there was surprisingly little anti-Saints feeling, more old blokes moaning about the ref - surprise, surprise)<br /><br />I started my mini crawl at the Old Pear Tree, the Camra pub of the season in Wigan which also has a to let sign on. I moved on to the Royal Oak in that impressive part of Standishgate which features Camberwick Green-type Georgian houses.<br /><br />The Royal Oak is opposite the Griffin, once owned by Billy Boston, arguably the greatest rugby league player ever, with an incredible turn of speed and ability to avoid tackles that left the opposition players in slow motion. I interviewed him once and he was such a humble, almost timid, man as if he couldn't see what the fuss was all about. But in football terms he's the equivalent of Bobby Charlton and Pele.<br /><br />Further up the roads is my own favourite, the Bowling Green - a great winter pub with its log fires, and opposite is The Millstone which was once owned by my great Auntie Annie. Further up out of town was her daughter's woolshop which looked exactly like the one in Wallace and Gromit's A Close Shave (another Wigan connection for the duo perhaps - the council are claiming they live in Wigan because of an A-Z in their latest film!)<br /><br />While swiggin' in the boozers, I had a chance to read the papers I used to work for (or for whom I used to work, if I was being a pedantic sub) - the Wigan Observer and Wigan Evening Post. Good to see Richard Bean's by-line still in there. Beano is one of those tremendous characters who has two modes - joking or ranting - and a vast cast of contacts to help him get the nitty-gritty stories which make Wigan tick.<br /><br />He seems like a relic of the past now where everyone is encouraged to be a happy-clappy yes man/woman, supporting your employers as if they are your favourite football team, even if they could sack you tomorrow.<br /><br />I remember Beano's stint as editor of Steam Railway News, which he did in tandem with his reporting, when he used to get calls from lonely trainspotters on some godforsaken platform shrieking to an orgasmic intensity about the shunting engine they'd just seen.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.georgeformby.co.uk/films/let_george_do_it/doit1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 200px;" alt="" src="http://www.georgeformby.co.uk/films/let_george_do_it/doit1.jpg" border="0" /></a>Geoffrey Shryhane's still got his column. His beard is grey now but he's still got his beaming smile as if he's just polished off a large chocolate eclair. (He also lives next door to my wool shop-owning relative)<br /><br />It was his idea to erect a statue to George Formby in Wigan, sparking a tremendous letter in the Observer from JJ Kenyon from Beech Hill. Here's some extracts: "The last thing Wigan needs is a monument to that grinning oaf.<br /><br />"His raucous singing, grating voice, inane grin, horrible, unfunny films, and constant twanging on the most unmelodic instrument ever invented, scraped on the nerves like a hollow tooth and made George the worst artist this country has ever produced.<br /><br />"All he did for Wigan was perpetuate the myth of cobbles, shawls and clogs."<br /><br />Mr/Ms Kenyon suggests a statue to Billy Boston instead. I'm a fan of George, he makes me laugh and some of his songs are great, but I think Mr/Ms Kenyon's right - he'll perpetuate the myth of t' Northern cliche (just like..er..Wigan Pier).<br /><br /><strong>I recently found out that my great grandad and great-great aunt played in a trio with George Formby Senior before he was "famous" and he asked them to join him professionally but my great granddad carried on running the Minorca Hotel in Wigan.<br /><br />Other pub connections: My great-great uncle Joe ran the Springfield Hotel, in Wigan, in the early 1900s, my great-great grandparents were in charge of the Navigation in Gathurst and my great-great grandparents on the other side took over the Royal Oak, in Crooke. Beer's in the genes!</strong><br /><br /><strong>WIGAN INSULTS</strong><br />Found some great Wigan words and phrases on the Wigan Shades site.<br />Here's some insults:<br /><br />To someone who’s ugly:<br />Who knitted thi face an dropped a stitch?<br /><br />To someone with a terrible memory:<br />It’s a good job thi balls are in a bag<br /><br />To someone who’s miserable:<br />Thaz a face lihk a line of wet washin<br /><br />To someone who’s going bald:<br />Ah’ve sin moor air on bacon than thaz geet on thi yed<br /><br />To someone with large teeth:<br />Art brakinum in fer an orse?<br /><br />To someone chatty:<br />Ah bet thi teeths glad when thar asleep<br /><br />To someone who’s loud:<br />Yon mon con whisper o'er three fields<br /><br /></li><li><a href="http://www.wiganshades.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/">Wigan Shades</a></li><br /><br />Pictures from<br /><br /><br /><li><a href="http://www.wiganworld.co.uk/">Wigan World - great archive site</a></li><br />And<br /><br /><br /><br /><li><a href="http://www.georgeformby.co.uk/">The George Formby Society</a></li><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://images.primelocation.com/URBNGR/images/URBN999000112.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 200px;" alt="" src="http://images.primelocation.com/URBNGR/images/URBN999000112.JPG" border="0" /></a><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">WILL ALSOP</span></strong><br /><em>Brilliant ideas, ground down by cash and conformity</em><br /><br /><strong>Barnsley as a Tuscan town:</strong> Surrounded by a wall wide enough to walk on, which lights up to form a halo. Looks unlikely at the moment.<br /><br /><strong>A lake in the middle of Bradford:</strong> In the shape of a speech bubble, outside the town hall as part of an urban park. He also wants to open up a canal which runs underground through the centre. Consultants say a lake could be built outside the town hall. Detailed plans for water features running through the city were submitted in March. Outline plans for a canalside village in the centre, by reopening parts of the Leeds and Liverpool canal, were submitted in November.<br /><br /><strong>Houses shaped like chips, Manchester: </strong>Next to the Ashton canal in "New Islington" (near old Ancoats). Three huge chips with newspaper wrapping exteriors. These are on sale (primelocation.com).<br /><br /><strong>A city along the M62 from Hull to Liverpool:</strong> SuperCity featured in an exhibition in Urbis 2005, in Manchester. Idea is to preserve green areas by putting houses, shops along the motorway. Buildings include a high-rise village for 5,000 people, a multistorey vertical farm with a market at ground level and a restaurant on top, and a block of flats shaped like Marge Simpson's hair. Drawing board stage only.<br /><br /><strong>Peckham Library:</strong> The building that probably made his name, in this country at least. A rectangular box on stilts with a garish Library sign on the top. Transformed a shitty area of London and won a major architecture prize in 2000.<br /><br /><strong>Fourth Grace - The Cloud:</strong> A 10-storey globe, described as a diamond knuckleduster, was meant to be a key element of Liverpool City of Culture 2008 bid but public cash backers feared it would cost too much and pulled out in 2004. Never mind - if you want to see real Liverpool culture go down to Flanagan's near the cavern at 5.30pm when there's a blues band on and everyone's rocking like it's 2am.<br /><br />Some info from<br /><br /><br /><br /><li><a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/">The Guardian</a></li><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><li><a href="http://www.archive.thisisbradford.co.uk/">Bradford T and A</a></li><br /><br /><a href="http://www.ramsdenandcolne.co.uk/edited%20jpgs/AERIAL%20VIEW%20larger%20001.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 200px;" alt="" src="http://www.ramsdenandcolne.co.uk/edited%20jpgs/AERIAL%20VIEW%20larger%20001.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">ON THE WATERFRONT...IN HUDDERSFIELD</span></strong><br /><br /><strong>A £175m scheme to transform a 12-acre site near Huddersfield town centre into "The Waterfront Quarter", with 500 apartments, offices, shops, restaurants, and a hotel, has been given conditional permission by Kirklees Council.</strong><br /><br /><br />Approval will be granted towards the end of the year (2006) on the site bounded by Chapel Hill, Manchester Road and The River Colne, providing agreement can be reached on how much developers will pay towards the cost of road improvements around the site.<br /><br />RCD, who are handling the development, reckon 2,000 construction, office and retail jobs will be created. The apartments are aimed at "young professionals".<br /><br />The site (see top picture) is primarily occupied by Sellers Engineering and includes Kirklees Council premises at West Riding House together with Grey House Yard. Existing listed buildings fronting Chapel Hill, including the Rat and Ratchet pub, will be incorporated into the scheme. Most of the site is owned by Sellers.<br /><br />RCD have worked on retail and leisure complex The Light in Leeds and the city's Quarry Hill development of flats and offices.<br /><br />Pictures/Source:<br /><br /><br /><br /><li><a href="http://www.ramsdenandcolne.co.uk/">RCD</a></li>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23937101.post-1142461906073477282009-09-25T08:15:00.003+01:002009-10-29T10:49:13.098+00:00TRAINS<span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >HUDDS TO LONDON IN 2HR 40MIN?</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Sep 09: Another year, another plan for a direct rail link from Huddersfield to London.</span><br /><br />Alliance Rail have applied to run services via the Penistone Line and Sheffield (3hrs) and onto the West Coast Line (presumably via the Guide Bridge link, near Stalybridge). This would take 2hrs 40 mins.<br /><br />The man behind the scheme is York-based Ian Yeowart, who helped create the London to Sunderland service when he was managing director of Grand Central. This company had planned to introduce a direct London service for Hudds but instead intends to start a Halifax/Bradford service to the capital next year.<br /><br />The rail regulator will decides whether to approve Alliance Rail's scheme. If it does, trains could start running in December 2013.<br /><br />It is amazing that Huddersfield, the second biggest West Yorkshire station, has not had its direct link to the capital restored when it takes on so many other services.<br /><br />Some info: Huddersfield Examiner<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >£1 HUDDERSFIELD TO LONDON</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Apr 09: Stagecoach are offering a £1 travel deal from Hudds to the capital. Only three stops, but it means catching a bus from the town, via Halifax and Bradford, to somewhere called East Midlands Parkway, then a train onto St Pancras. It takes nearly five hours and there are just two services a day, from 6.30am and 12.30pm.</span><br /><br />Mmm, no matter how cheap bus travel gets, there's nothing more depressing than a long coach ride - cramped seats, tedious motorways, detours to bleak bus stations and the inevitable screechers with terrible music taste nearby/people sleeping on your shoulder. It's bad enough when they have coach replacement services from Leeds to Hudds.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3020/2397175322_ee392f0722.jpg?v=0"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3020/2397175322_ee392f0722.jpg?v=0" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >ORIENT EXPRESS? PAH!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">April 08: You can keep your fancy Orient Express - I got a South Pennines Day Ranger ticket with the opportunity to visit Manchester, Oldham Mumps, Rochdale, Halifax, Bradford, Huddersfield, Barnsley, Sheffield, Wakefield, Stalyvegas and most stations in between for £13.</span><br /><br />I tried it out this month, intending to travel on the Penistone Line from Huddersfield to Barnsley, cutting across to Wakefield.<br /><br />Then I was going to hop off at Mirfield to catch a relatively new Leeds to Hebden Bridge service, which, frustratingly doesn't stop at Hudds, and then catch a Rochdale train at Heb Bridge and maybe change for Oldham or head back via Manchester Victoria or Halifax.<br /><br />Well it didn't quite turn out like that because, of course, I didn't want to be just hopping on and off trains, I wanted to visit a few boozers.<br /><br />It took 40 minutes to get from Huddersfield to Barnsley on the lovely Penistone Line, which is like travelling through farmers' fields for most of the way. It was my first visit to Barnsley and the town has the usual frustrating mix of lovely old honey coloured buildings and a crappy modern pedestrianised shopping centre.<br /><br />Most of the old buildings live on as pubs - the court house, the Drapers Market and a nice art deco building called Blah, Blah, a name which reeks of WKD and gelled-up lads with short-sleeved shirts.<br /><br />My first port of call was The Gatehouse, near the station, horrible grey and red on the outside, lovely wooden floors and sofas on the inside and a good choice of beers - two Barnsleys, an Anglo Dutch from Dewsbury and a Wentworth.<br /><br />I'd only chosen Good Beer Guide pubs relatively near the station but as my printer's on the blink I relied on hand-drawings from Google maps which were more like stickmen with scrawls next to them - Mr Ordinance and Mr Survey would have been turning in their graves.<br /><br />Consequently I had no idea exactly how far the next pub (The George and Dragon) was and after walking about a mile out of town without seeing the turning I needed, I headed back to the station and 15 minutes later was in Wakefield Kirkgate.<br /><br />I hate visiting this station, even in the day. It's a vast, impressive buildings but it's unoccupied and most of its windows either smashed or boarded up. The platforms are graffited and some have no roofs and next to the station entrance is a smashed-up pub.<br /><br />The station is no doubt suffering as it's smaller neighbour, Westgate, is linked to London and the East Coast Line, but I wonder if anyone could perhaps convert part of this building into a pub.<br /><br />Anyway the reason I stopped here was to see the revamped Fernandes Tap. But I was thwarted by opening times - it didn't open until 4. In search of food I found a proper old greasy spoon Othello. O! thereby hangs a tale!<br /><br />Actually, nothing particularly interesting happened here. I just looked for appropriate Othello quotes on t'inters. I had a very pleasant egg, chips and teacake in the company of some old folk who appeared to use the place a base to chat the day away.<br /><br />There's an Othello quote about chronicling small beer which is perhaps more appropriate as I 'd only had one pint in four hours by this time so I was eager to get into Fernandes.<br /><br />The pub has been taken over by Ossett although Fernandes beers are still being made. The upstairs bar is exactly the same but they've added another bar (which was locked when I was there) and painted the outside so it doesn't look as pokey as it was before.<br /><br />I'm due a longer visit but the late opening of the bar had buggered up my schedule. I'd decided early on to end at Hebden Bridge but I was thinking I probably didn't have time to go there either.<br /><br />Mirfield was my next stop and the Navigation pub - a Theakstons pub with a rare chance to try Black Bull and draft Old Peculiar. The Diana inquest verdict had just happened so the TV was a bit too loud but it was a pleasant enough pub in a town which appears to be expanding rapidly, with mills becoming mews cottages, and the bulk of the housing moving away from the shops on the main road.<br /><br />I decided to call it a day then and head back to Hudds. I was a little disappointed I didn't get further, at least away from the site of Emley mast - I could see when I left my home, I saw it near Denby Dale on the Pensitone Line and it was there at the end poking over a hill in Mirfield. It followed me around like Mona Lisa's eyes.<br /><br />The journey would have cost me £12.55 if I hadn't bought my £13 ticket but it was still an enjoyable day and I'll probably get another ticket and try the Manchester end and get my money's worth.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >TRAM TRAINS - ROLLING ON THE LINE!</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mar 08: Britain's first ever 'tram trains' are to run on the Penistone Line in a £24m trial.<br /></span><br />Five of the new machines, which can run on railway and tram lines and are widely used in Europe, will replace conventional trains from 2010 for two years.<br /><br />If they're a success on this line they could be used to link Leeds to Leeds-Bradford Airport.<br /><br />Tram trains are lighter than regular trains, thus reducing wear and tear on tracks. They have faster acceleration and deceleration rates and are expected to reduce journey times.<br /><br />This would be great on the Penistone Line. The 37-mile Huddersfield to Sheffield route takes 75 minutes.<br /><br />It's almost as quck to change at Wakey and Leeds from Hudds and get the fast train. But Penistone does attract 1.2 million passengers a year, largely thanks to promotion by the volunteers of The Penistone Line Partnership and Northern Rail.<br /><br />The trial will look at the environmental benefits, operating costs and suitability of the tram-trains and to see how popular the vehicles are with passengers.<br /><br />The project is a partnership between the Department for Transport, train operator Northern Rail and Network Rail which will spend £15m in track improvements and alterations to the 17 stations. DfT will contribute £9m to fund the operation of the trial.<br /><br />Some train forums are worried that this line is too long for this sort of thing, is a sop to people complaining about the Woodhead Tunnel fiasco nearby, and won't actually run on tram lines in Sheff. And what will happen to the line alterations if trial is abandoned?<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >CAR V TRAIN</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jan 08: Christmas is the one time I'm forced to hire a car and not rely on the excellent services from Huddersfield station and the speedy Transpennine trains. The lovely P is always claiming the train's more expensive and less convenient than a car, but when it cost me £55 in petrol for a five-day use of the car, including trips to Stafford and Southport from Hudds, I decided to check out the costs.</span><br /><br />What first surprised me was a day return to Stafford and a standard return to Southport cost £22 and £24 respectively, less than the petrol. We also did mini-trips to Holmfirth, Netherton, a couple to Huddersfield town, and a three-mile drive in Lancs so I'll add £12 in bus fares to that and a couple of taxi fares (£10). A total of £68.<br /><br />I hired a new Skoda Fabia which would cost me £8,000 if I bought it new, but what would the running costs be?<br /><br />According to the AA, road tax would be £115 a year, insurance £396 (UK average for fully comp with 60% no claims), breakdown cover £42. The capital cost - the loss of income from the owner having money tied up in a vehicle which otherwise could be earning interest in a deposit account - is £328, while depreciation (if I was selling the car after four years) would be £1,132 a year.<br /><br />That's a total of £2,013 a year and excludes any parking charges, MOT or repairs. During the hire, I spent £7 on parking. I'll add £42 a year for my MOT.<br /><br />So I've got my new Skoda (£8,000)and assuming I'll sell the car after four years that's £2,000 a year. With running costs of £2,013 - that's £4,000 a year, £11 a day and five days that's £55.<br /><br />Add £55 for my petrol and that's £110. Add my £7 parking and that makes £117. My MOT is, say, £1 a week if I include some repairs.<br /><br />So the result is:<br />Train £68 Car £118. I win lovely P, a-ha-ha-ha!<br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">SAVE THE WOODHEAD TUNNEL!</span></strong><br /><strong>Jan 08: Chances of restoring an alternative Manchester to Sheffield rail route are under threat.</strong><br /><br />The Hadfield to Penistone section of the route closed in 1981 but most of the trackbed is in place. However the National Grid wants to put new cables in the Woodhead Tunnel section and there would be no room for a restored line in the tunnel if they did that.<br /><br />Transport Secretary Ruth Kelly does not want to get involved and National Grid don't need any planning permission but as Greater Manchester's transport chief Roger Jones noted, the route would provide a valuable rail alternative on increasingly congested road and rail routes.<br /><br />Mr Beeching wanted to close the other Manc-Sheff route via Hope, Edale etc but widespread protests, the reduction in coal trains and the unique way in which the route was electrified left the Woodhead line vulnerable to closure.<br /><br />Campaigners say it would cost £139m to reopen the 20-mile route and take 35 mins from Manc to Sheff.<br /><br /><br /><li><a href="http://savethewoodheadtunnel.blogspot.com/">Save Woodhead Tunnel Blog</a></li><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">BRING BACK SKIPTON TO COLNE!</span></strong><br /><strong>Jan 08: Campaigners hoping to restore a 11 mile rail link between the two towns have been encouraged by an independent report supporting them.</strong><br /><br />The trackbed is intact and it would help to provide a link between Preston and Yorkshire and east and west coasts.<br /><br />The report, by a consulting firm using Department of Transport guidelines, said it would be financially viable to reopen the line which closed in 1970.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-size:130%;" >NEW LEEDS TO HEBDEN BRIDGE SERVICE</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 07:</span> Northern have announced a new Leeds to Hebden Bridge service, via Dewsbury but not via Huddersfield unfortunately and it's a daytime only service. Trains will veer off from Mirfield to Brighouse on the 50 minute journey.<br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><strong>REVIVING VICTORIA</strong><br /></span><strong>More trains could be sent to Victoria instead of Piccadilly if a proposed major shake-up of the Manchester region's rail services goes ahead.</strong><br /><br />Salford Crescent could also be built a quarter of a mile further north to allow longer trains, while little-used stations at Ardwick, Denton, and Reddish South could be closed.<br /><br />The ideas come from Network Rail and are going out for consultation before firm plans are drawn up.<br /><br />Between them, Manchester's stations take almost 23 million passengers a year, about 19 million of them at Piccadilly.<br /><br />Paul Banks, from Network Rail, said: "The centre of Manchester is moving towards Victoria. There are lots of options where we can better distribute people around the city.<br /><br />"Clearly, it is not as striking as Piccadilly is today. And if we want it to be the peer of Piccadilly it needs to be revitalised."<br /><br />Guide Bridge station at Audenshaw, which is close to the M60, could become a park and ride station and passengers could go from there into the city.<br /><br />Little-used Eccles station could be linked with the Metrolink stop to give train<br />passengers a way to travel to Salford Quays.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Dec 07: Update - £300m to be spent on improving Victoria with boomerang roof (eh?), shops etc - but exterior will be preserved. Work could start in 2009.</span><br /><br />Info: Manchester Evening News<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.grandcentralrail.com/graphics/logo_home.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; float: right; width: 200px;" alt="" src="http://www.grandcentralrail.com/graphics/logo_home.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">HUDDERSFIELD TO LONDON</span></strong><br /><strong>A new rail company has announced plans to run trains direct from Huddersfield to London.</strong><br /><br />York-based Grand Central Railway hopes to open the route by 2010 if it gets permission and it's economically viable.<br /><br />Huddersfield passengers currently have to go to Leeds or Wakey to catch a London train and it takes about three hours.<br /><br />The new route would take two hours and 20 minutes from Hudds, stopping at Guide Bridge, (between Manchester and Staleyvegas) to attract M60 commuters. Grand Central are then hoping to travel on a track which is used only once a week to Stockport and onto the West Coast line. There would be six trains a day, some of which would call Bradford, Brighouse and Halifax before getting to Hudds.<br /><br />Grand Central is the company which is starting a Sunderland to London service in December and also wants separate Bradford to London, Bradford to Doncaster services.<br /><br />There was a Hudds to London service in the 50s and 60s which went via Sheffield, Derby and Nottingham.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><li><a href="http://www.grandcentralrail.com/news.html">Grand Central Rail</a></li>Olthwaitehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06046658922296569064noreply@blogger.com0